Lucie's SW Journey from 24 Stone to 15 Stone - 1lbs at a time!

[Smurfette1984]

I think my chinese certainly set me back a couple pound but being right back on plan if not a little stricter I'm sure I'll get it off and if not, if I'm honest, I'm not really too fussed as I'd rather have a controlled treat then an out of control cheat xxxxxx

Exactly that way you know what's happening not thinking oh crap lol x I had a minor blip last Friday so hope it doesn't affect loss too much lol x

 

[Smurfette1984]

HAHA! It was my idea of being clever when I signed up on minimins a couple of years back, I always meant to be BBC and just spelled it out but people started calling me Bee. Which is fine of course but now it's finally been picked up on, whoop
The whole thing of food being a reward for a good day or a comforter after a bad one is such a childhood thing...and I think most of us have been conditioned like that from an early age on. A child falls over and bumps his knee, it's lots of cuddles and sweeties. And an achievement is celebrated with a special something. Food is more than fuel, or we wouldn't have so much pleasure in it. And conversely, we wouldn't find a bland or burnt meal disappointing. It would all just be calories and energy. So there's nothing wrong with food playing a certain role emotionally, that's how humans are...oh dear, I'm really sorry you can tell I'm an over analyser in my spare time...
It's something that definitely worked for me, to be really strict until everything becomes second nature and the idea of a controlled planned treat is really good. I used to be really into fruit ice lollies when I started SW and I had worked it all out that with every food delivery I'd have a box of them and one every night. Worked perfectly. And if I ended up having two or three even when I was feeling particularly greedy, well, there wouldn't be any for the rest of the week then...But one thing I will never be able to get on board with. The single biscuit. There is no such thing. Biscuits are pack animals, they stay together and they get eaten as a group. People who can nibble on a single biscuit for about ten minutes are not entirely normal in my book. So when I had a biscuit phase on SW earlier last year (rich tea biscuits with a cup of tea before bed. yum.) I would literally save all my syns for that. and have like 6 .

Omg the biscuit, the dreaded bloody biscuit. I agree totally that a biscuit can't just stop at one it's meant to be eaten as a pack especially chocolate digestives. This is why I refuse to buy them now as I can quite easily scoff my way through a packet within 15 mins lol same with celebrations etc. My consultant always say have a couple only 5 syns, I'm like Lesley seriously??!!! You want me to stick to 2 little chocolates. Christ I have to have at least one of each miniature chocolate lol x

 

[Smurfette1984]

That's the box. Maybe you'll find them in another supermarket. I just randomly came across them. They didn't have them this week. But I saw them in SuperValu (which ye guys don't have- so that's no good to you) but if you want I can send you over a box or two

We have these at our aldi, I can send you some too if you like x

 

[Sazmajig]

Is it bad that I'm happy I'm not the only one having a pants day? That's not very nice or supportive of me. lol. Naughty us for poor planning! So glad you're a dirty smoker too! The thing I find though is I'm smoking and I want something to eat after my cig and I have nothingggggggggg NOTHHINNGGG! Actually that's a lie. I have a fridge that has gone off chilli con carne. Grim. and the guy who covered here clearly has kids or a sweet tooth because there is a mini bag of salt and vinegar sticks aswell as 4 of the mini bakewell tart single cakes like the mr kipling slices ones and I'm like.. NOPE! BE GONE!

although... I'm pretty sure I have an ainsley harriot lemon and something couscous that fell down the back of the fridge once and I was too lazy to pick it up... hahaha #Desperatetimes.


I just lost an hour getting phone calls about the Rota for next week. One of the guys is doing 60 hours and some random is doing 2 days back to back 12 hr shifts and they are all calling me and I'm just like.." welcome to my world! " none of them have keys or alarms or anything.. no communication, and guess who has to figure it out? muggins here! what a joke haha.. Thursday seems but a dream away!

you feeling any better? xxx

Haha no its fine, take come comfort in my sorrow...you meanie Sometimes its nice to see others feeling the same as you - worst is when you go to group and everyone is really upbeat and you feel like sheeeeet (not sure I can write what I was gonna!)

MMM gone of chilli... yum all of those things you said were left are my sorta treat! I hope you resisted? I actually rested all bad food yesterday so I'm pleased with myself.

Did you have the couscous? Cant say that sounds too appetising!

Haha whilst you are still working there be as helpful as you can but come Thursday be like... Im outta here b****es! (tried to upload a gif but it wouldn't work...i'll let your mind go there....yep see it was funny!)

Re the biscuits...i seem to recall finding them in my local pound land and those sorts of shops. Like Gem can always post some to you. Not actually tried them myself but really think I should as when i occasionally have a cuppa I always want a biscuit with them and hate wasting 4 syns (or whatever they are) on a biscuit. Four biskiessss mmmm yeah boy!

Feeling better today, had a good nights sleep and although I'm not raring for the day it weigh in tonight and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone xxx

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Ok I have to have a lookout for those in our Aldi's although I don't have high hopes. Saying that, the Asda rich tea biscuits are only 1.5 syns. I have to find the perfect biscuit with the lowest amount of syns possible. It's biscuit gate.

 

[LucieLovesIt]

Morning.

Oh * week, can't you just do one? I can already feel the effects of * week creeping in, ended up having words with my brother last night at my dad's house and I just wanted to knock him out ( I'm so lovely ) that coupled with hardly any sleep last night means I'm grumpy and I'm tired and that never makes for a good Lucie. Work today is still going to be dead so I have a whole 10 hour shift of doing absolutely nothing and I think the most brain activity I'm going to have is thinking " what shall I watch next on NowTV on my phone ".

I have also discovered, though I say discovered, I already bloomin' knew. I WONT ever be buying cereal again. I can't do it. I can't only just have a bowl. Today I very much feel like henry the hoover because it's 8.55am and I've already ave 3/4 of the contents of my cereal and 4 satsumas. I even picked up those weetabix curl crunch things but what was next to it? Special K granola with chocolate and hazelnut. Did I know these wouldn't be a HEXb - YES. Did I still swap them for the Special K? ... yes.

idiot.


So, as if that wasn't bad enough.. muggins here just put the cherry on top and worked out that the bag as 450g and the fact I've practically eaten it all means that I've just eaten about 89 syns worth of cereal... was it worth it? No.

So lets play a game of what I could of have shall we?

89 BLOOMIN' MARIA BISCUITS!
Mcdonalds breakfast
CHINESE!!!! I just had more syns in those bowls of cereal than in the chinese I ordered.


luckily I have brought a spud in with me with beans and my hexa worth of cheese and tonight Ive got out a turkey mince to do spag bowl.

I hate cravings. I knew it would of ended this way picking up the cereal, and how do I feel now? stupid and very disappointed in myself. I haven't let anyone else down but myself and when it comes to Sunday and the scales are unforgiving I'll be reminded of my weakness and that will be that.
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^ ok I'm drawing a line under it. I figured I'm going to make myself feel pretty damn guilty on Sunday and it will be even worse as I'd of come on by then so a nice big gain I have to look forward too! I've just binned the rest of the cereal as it's the devil food and I'm not going to eat anything else but my JP with beans and cheese and about 34535636523324 satsumas for speed.

I think it's important not to just highlight when I'm doing well because my bad days are just as important and detrimental to my journey and this isn't just about changing what I put in my mouth ( dirty minds you ) it's about changing my mind and how it works. The sheer embarrassment of posting this so that you all can see what a silly girl I've been as almost a punishment aswell so that the next time I have something in my hand and I'm looking at a worse alternative I might remember this, remember how I felt and avoid making the wrong mistake.

Today is going to be a long day *sigh*

 

[LucieLovesIt]

If only doing this 45 minute video would take away 45 of the syns I just inhaled but alas it wont.

Lets change this day around though. I want to feel tired, not because I didn't sleep but because I just did a 3 mile workout. If anyone wants me, I'll be making shapes behind my little work station while the shop is dead punishing myself but equally, doing the best thing I could be doing and that's making a change.

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Aw hey, good morning! Wish I could give you a hug right now, I know exactly how you feel, especially when the day starts out like that. * week really doesn't help....and yes, cereal is the devil's food, I totally agree. I can only cope with weetabix because they come in units and I take two out of the packet and that's that. Anything else, forget it. Bran flakes, granola, mini shreddies, you name it, I can have the entire packet.
Don't be too hard on yourself though. Hormones are just like two faced friends, they pretend to be all harmless and then come and stab you in the back with a packet of cereal. It's easy to forget quite how powerful they are and it's not necessarily a lack of control when they take over, it's just what the body does. As you say, the bad sometimes comes along with the good and all needs mentioning and you've done it now. And you've drawn the line. You've got the day planned and you'll be fine. Remember you'll be out of your exhausting mind numbing job soon *whoop*

 

[LucieLovesIt]

Hormones are just like two faced friends, they pretend to be all harmless and then come and stab you in the back with a packet of cereal.

100% with this!!! hahaha

I'm ok, just sitting here shaking my head and all I can think of is I've just added a week or two to my journey. *shrugs* nothing I can do now. Damage is done just got to make it through to * week with minimal or no more blips and pray to the scale gods.

 

[Sazmajig]

Oh love! Right we ALL have moments/days/weeks like this and lets blame that naughty star week! On the plus side star week means ovulation has occurred!! *hugs*

Firstly - well done for saying how you feel. Completely agree and we want to be apart of your journey, not just the happy stuff but the real you and getting to know you is gonna be fab (I just know it!) Secondly well done for chucking that cereal away... crazy how you could have had something as bad as a mcdonalds for the same syns - but although you can have syns however they come I definitely think there is a difference between syns. Yes you had syns but they were really fatty oily syns they were fibrous and hopefully pretty filling. Still doesn't help i know but lets put a different spin on it eh?!

Also I completely get what you mean about adding another week, but you KNEW going into this that * week affects you and so we as a team can help you to figure out ways to deal with this. Just think next time star week comes you will be at your new job and working at 10 in the morning so you'll be able to fill up on a lovely synfree fry or something.

How can I help? Virtual kick up the butt?! xxxx

 

[Sazmajig]

Three weeks, 1stone 5! 1 stone 5!

Thats an average of over 6lbs a week - don't be too hard on yourself. Fingers crossed you got it out of your system and now you can draw a line like you say. I can stand in a corner somewhere with pom poms and cheer you on if that helps?!

 

[Jessieh90]

Don’t be too hard on yourself hun (just sang that in my head but anyway) do you think that maybe you were trying to be too strict after your Chinese and maybe that’s what contributed to eating the cereal? You’re doing the right thing by just drawing a line under it and moving forward. Atleast you haven’t written off the rest of the day which is super important too!
Wish I could get away with a bit of exercise at my desk but the whole office may think I’m slightly strange hahaha!

 

[LucieLovesIt]

I think we can all put on a good front @Sazmajig but I know I could sit here and carry on eating but I KNOW that's the hormones talking.

star week means I didn't conceive again this month. Babies and falling pregnant is a whole other topic that is very close to me. I think I even got a little bit crazy last year with it all. I lost my baby a few years ago and I guess I've made peace with that but last yera was a dark year for me and I spent most of March in hopspital due to my gallbladder and having some stones get trapped. Then waiting for surgery for those months was agony as I was in and out of hopspital and I was on morphine every other day as I kept having flare ups. I became so intune with my body that I was able to tell what any pain or blip was, if my tummy rumbled or if I had a twang in my side. After the surgery I got pretty down but managed to pull through despite thinking I had lost the plot and I spent the next few months convinced I was falling pregnant and I must of purchased about 50 or so pregnancy tests because I was doing them every day just hoping and wishing they would say positive. At the time my best friend was pregnant and I ended up telling her I needed space and she lost hers and I wasn't there for her as I was too busy trying to look after myself and then I just dropped it. Told the OH I couldnt even talk about it, think about it or anything because I was getting obsessed with it all.. So every period always feels like a reminder that I still haven't fallen pregnant. I know I know it will happen when it happens. I'd rather nobody even mentioned it or offered any words of advice it just is what it is and there are thousands like me just hoping. Suffering with PCOS always means I have painful periods like I'm being rammed with a baseball bat and I always hulk out and get bitchy. Going back on the pill helps but it means no baby. I know It takes "normal" people even a year or longer and it takes some less. That's not really anything I need or want to hear. It's just always emotional on * week and with my emotions sky high anyway it's always messy.

I'm now sitting here with a wet face and puffy eyes all because of poxy special K granola. ffs.

 

[LucieLovesIt]

I'm sorry I love you guys but there isn't really anything anyone can say and I just have to put on my big girl pants like usually and crack on. Didn't mean to rant and share my personal personal stuff/ issues.

 

[Sazmajig]

I think we can all put on a good front @Sazmajig but I know I could sit here and carry on eating but I KNOW that's the hormones talking.

star week means I didn't conceive again this month. Babies and falling pregnant is a whole other topic that is very close to me. I think I even got a little bit crazy last year with it all. I lost my baby a few years ago and I guess I've made peace with that but last yera was a dark year for me and I spent most of March in hopspital due to my gallbladder and having some stones get trapped. Then waiting for surgery for those months was agony as I was in and out of hopspital and I was on morphine every other day as I kept having flare ups. I became so intune with my body that I was able to tell what any pain or blip was, if my tummy rumbled or if I had a twang in my side. After the surgery I got pretty down but managed to pull through despite thinking I had lost the plot and I spent the next few months convinced I was falling pregnant and I must of purchased about 50 or so pregnancy tests because I was doing them every day just hoping and wishing they would say positive. At the time my best friend was pregnant and I ended up telling her I needed space and she lost hers and I wasn't there for her as I was too busy trying to look after myself and then I just dropped it. Told the OH I couldnt even talk about it, think about it or anything because I was getting obsessed with it all.. So every period always feels like a reminder that I still haven't fallen pregnant. I know I know it will happen when it happens. I'd rather nobody even mentioned it or offered any words of advice it just is what it is and there are thousands like me just hoping. Suffering with PCOS always means I have painful periods like I'm being rammed with a baseball bat and I always hulk out and get bitchy. Going back on the pill helps but it means no baby. I know It takes "normal" people even a year or longer and it takes some less. That's not really anything I need or want to hear. It's just always emotional on * week and with my emotions sky high anyway it's always messy.

I'm now sitting here with a wet face and puffy eyes all because of poxy special K granola. ffs.

Oh completely agree, its all too easy to show ourselves in a nice light (I know i certainly can do it when I'm really feeling rubbish) but I'm glad you are being real with us - I want to get to know YOU

No I know it means you didn't conceive - and i wish i had put it in a better way. But my (now rather rubbish) point was that your body is working how it should to be able to fall pregnant which is such a big deal. For a long time I didn't even have any periods and that started to freak me out about what if i couldn't ever conceive. At least your body is trying to play ball my lovely, even if it nots this week. Your time will come, and when it does we'll all be here celebrating alongside you.

Im so sorry to hear that, that cant have been easy. And while I cannot understand or gauge just how you feel about it believe me you have my thoughts. I'm even more sorry of the spiralling effect it had afterwards, life can be such a mean ***** sometimes. I shall not mention it again, I'm sorry if I have got you upset - that was definitely not my intention xxxx

 

[Sazmajig]

I'm sorry I love you guys but there isn't really anything anyone can say and I just have to put on my big girl pants like usually and crack on. Didn't mean to rant and share my personal personal stuff/ issues.

Postive pants a go go!

Share away, I personally don't mind at all my love xxx

 

[LucieLovesIt]

Postive pants a go go!

Share away, I personally don't mind at all my love xxx

You haven't upset me, this always happens each month I just don't usually share it with anyone. I didn't even have to on here, I'm not even sure why I did, It almost seems a bit woe as me which I don't like. ( hate showing weakness ) I'm more of a suffer in silence kinda gal. I guess it just shows how at home I feel here and how well looked after like you guys are family.

there isn't anything anyone could say or do really but thank you for the offer x

 

[marybobs]

Awh hun I feel ya!!!! Big hugs!!!!

I ate two galaxy bars, two dairymilk mint crisp bars, two mini white choc bars. And half a packet of those Maria biscuits. So well say like 70 syns!

Star week sucks. It hit me last night like a bus. I literally couldn't stop eating everything around me. I just needed the chocolate to stop the cravings. I tried everything from eating mandarins to melon and nothing helped kick the cravings eventually I gave in! Feel even worse today but literally have no chocolate left in the house apart from HiFi bars and my Oh dark choc. I refuse to even get dressed in case I get tempted to hop into the car. Here trying to focus on my college work. But all I can think of is the cravings!!

 

[BeeBeeSee]

I'm sorry I love you guys but there isn't really anything anyone can say and I just have to put on my big girl pants like usually and crack on. Didn't mean to rant and share my personal personal stuff/ issues.

If you feel like it, let it all out. We are the sum of our experiences, good, bad and downright heartrending sometimes. And they are intertwined with everything that we do. So letting it out sometimes helps, helps others to understand but also helps you to be as kind to yourself as you would be with any of us xx

I'm currently a starving marvin in my office, I need to put my jacket potato in the microwave but the boss is away and a bunch of guys is hogging the kitchen having the longest lunch break ever (so far 70 minutes and counting instead of half an hour) and I hate going in there when they're all loud. I'm such a pansy

 

[Gemsta]

Awww chick... We have so much in common it's untrue I spent 4 years of my life obsessing over getting pregnant to the point where I wasn't barely living and I was we can't do that in case I get pregnant...we better not do that in case I get pregnant. Every month I felt like a failure when I came on. It consumed me. In the end it wasn't to be for us for one reason or another. That said I am a fair bit older than you and you have time on your side.

It's easier said than done I know, but the best thing for now is to concentrate on you. Dark times are just that...that horrible completely enveloped drowning feeling...yep...know all about that one too. For now just focus on you. Baby steps... as for the binge...hey..s*** happens and as the other girls have said we have all been there and you know what hun....we will all be there again at some point...it's human nature.

What I do is tell myself the following...Look at what you do have.... a man who loves you for you...unconditionally. Look at what you have achieved so far.... 19lb in 3 weeks is fantastic!!!!!!....(I lost what weight tells me that's 76 Bananas ...where does it get its comparisons don't ask me! )

So come on now... 2 days left at work... line drawn under today's said blip and back at it! It's only one slip up and it does not put you back to where you were 3 weeks ago You have some lovely ladies waiting to give you everything you need in support here xxx