Lynn's Diary - My Big Fat Weight Loss Journey

[Lynn_]

WI today..................11.12.5

1Lb down on last week! despite the fluctuation this week. Ive really been unwell for a couple days but feel loads better today. I must have had some kind of stomach bug that made me retain a bit of fluid.

Today has not been good however, Ive just got back from the vets with one of my cats. When i got up this morning i found her lying on the kitchen floor on a carrier bag, I picked her up to move her off the bag and she fell over. So i picked her up again and discovered she could not move her left side at all. My first thought was that she had had a stroke, she is 14 and half now. I sat with her on my lap for a while trying to calm her, she wouldnt eat anything, so i made her a bed on a towel and went to get son Rob up as Sophie is his cat really and he adores her. I was convinced she was dying.

She seemed to get worse and seemed pretty much paralysed, but not in any apparent pain, so I looked up the local vets which were to open at 2.30pm. I was sure that the vet would advise having her put down and me and my son both sat in the vets with her with tears pouring down our faces.

The vet examined her and could find nothing apparently wrong. No swelling where she might have been hit by a car, no broken bones, no pain. So she said its either something as simple as an ear infection which could have affected her balance, or it could be something very serious such as a neurological problem, brain tumour or stroke for instance.

So Sophie has had a reprieve and we have her home again until Monday when i have to take her back for another examination. The vet gave her various injections in case its an infection, she also said her heart wasnt beating very strongly which could be due to fluid retention. When we got her home, Sophie the apparently paralysed cat, jumped up and ran out the door!! Albeit swaying and falling over as she went. Son retrieved her and brought her back in again, and she is now in her box by my feet, apparenty unable to move again. Its all very strange. She cant eat either, but she can manage a bit of whipped up egg and cream. All we can do is wait and see what transpires.

 

[Aline]

Oh Lynn, it breaks my heart to know that Sophie isn't fine. As you may know I'm a veggie and it's basically because I love animals. I once had a kitty as well and she was like a daughter to me.
I wish I could help but I have no idea what those symptoms may mean. Just try to give Sophie her favourite foods to see if she eats something; she needs to eat otherwise she'll feel weaker... Fortunatelly, you'll know what's going on after Monday exams.
**huggs and fingers crossed for Sophie**

 

[Lynn_]

We went out yesterday evening with some friends for a meal. I ate quite a lot really, a bread roll with butter! Parma ham salad for starter and seared tuna with salad for main. I had to send the main back as the salad was floating in oil! why do they do that? You choose a salad because its light and they smother it in oil making it probably the most calorific thing on the menu. The fresh salad came back better, and the tuna was lovely.

Sophie is still very poorly this morning, but moving slightly better than she was yesterday. She can now drag herself out of her basket to get to the food bowl, whereas yesterday i had to hold it under her head. She is still on liquid food but ill try her with a bit of her favourite solid food later to see if she can cope with it. She cant stand tho, she did try once to get up this morning but fell over again. Poor Sophie, she must feel so confused about what has happened to her.

 

[Lynn_]

Re: Lynn's Diary

Sophie is starting to move a little more now although it is painfully obvious that her left legs are not working well, the left back leg is the biggest problem for her. She has managed to eat some solid food as well but I was really happy to see that she had managed to use the litter tray during the night. This is going to be a big factor in how long we can allow her for recovery from this,whatever it is that is wrong with her. An incontinent house bound cat is going to be very difficult to deal with, so the fact she can get into the litter tray and use it is a major step forward.

I will be taking her back to the vets later today.

 

[Aline]

Oh, it's great that she's using the litter tray and eating something. Hopefully, the vet will see what's going on and Sophie'll recover.

About your eating out I may say you're pretty corageous. I never sent the food back because of grease, I always fear that they can get angry and make unpleasent things with my food. I once see a show about that, since that I just try to make sure I explain very well how I want my food before they make it

 

[Lynn_]

I got home fairly early today and took Sophie to the vets in the village. The vet was impressed with the progress she has made since Saturday, but its very obvious that something quite serious is wrong. The vet is now saying that its much more likely to be a neurological problem, and its for me to decide how far I want to go in getting to the bottom of it.

Neurological problem could mean anything really from a stroke to a brain tumour to damaged nervous system. Its very unlikely that any of these can be cured even if we found out the problem, all we will gain is that we can put a name to it.

The main thing is that she is not in any pain, and is not overly stressed by it. Its bad enough taking her to the vets, I dont want to leave her there so that they can carry out tests on her. So with discussing this with the vet, I have decided to see what happens with her over the next week. I think the bottom line has to be is that she isnt in any pain and that she can get in and out of the house through the cat door. The litter tray is fine for now, as long as i keep the other 2 cats away from it. Its bad enough having one cat use a litter tray indoors, never mind 3! So we will see how she goes over the next week or so. She has had really good improvement in 2 days, so a week could see her getting around ok. She isnt going to fully recover from this, but as long as her quality of life is good then thats the best we can hope for.

My Avidlite dietisnack meals turned up on Saturday. I havnt tried the chilli yet, but ive tried half of one of the packs of bbq flavour soy nuts and they are really nice. Will make a good snack to have if i get hungry and need something to keep me going.

 

[Pink!]

Heya, congrats on the loss, you're ridiculously close to your goal now!

Sorry to hear about Sophie, good that she's not in pain any more though.

I hope you enjoy the book, it really is very well written. The postage on amazon always grates on me, it's £2.75 no matter the soze of the book.

Hope that you have a good week.

 

[Healthy2010]

Aww Lynn, poor Sophie, It must be horrid not knowing what's wrong with her, the main thing is that she's not in pain. Poor little thing, hope she continues to improve.

XX

 

[slim104]

You do like these fad diet meals etc don't you Lynn? You know at some point you are going to have to eat real normal food don't you.
I sorry if that sounds a bit harsh and i probably don't fully understand why people use them. I can't understand why a balanced healthy diet doesn't appeal to you.
Right, now it's your go to tell me off and put me right. ;-)

 

[Lynn_]

You do like these fad diet meals etc don't you Lynn? You know at some point you are going to have to eat real normal food don't you.
I sorry if that sounds a bit harsh and i probably don't fully understand why people use them. I can't understand why a balanced healthy diet doesn't appeal to you.
Right, now it's your go to tell me off and put me right. ;-)

The exante shake just happens to be something thats easy to have for breakfast without a lot of faffing about that i actually enjoy the taste of. Better that than a marmite cereal bar and it provides me with 1 third of my days nutrition. Otherwise i eat a ham salad sandwich for lunch and a home made curry for dinner.

Or are you referring to the avidlite dietisnacks that i bought for the occasion when i want a low carb low calorie snack? Maybe you feel that a beer and a bag of doritos would be a better choice?

 

[slim104]

Ok, point taken. Didn't mean to upset you Lynn. I just wondered why that was all. x

 

[Aline]

Lynn,
I'm gald that Sophie is better; hope she'll mantain a minimum life quality.

And I agree with Pink... you're soooo close to your goal, I bet you'll reach it before 2011

 

[Lynn_]

Thanks Aline

We are not out of the woods with Sophie yet, but she is improving a little day by day. She adores my son Rob and the highlight of her day is when he gets home from work. This evening she managed to get out of her basket when he came home and she put her paws up on his legs, she just wants to be close to him, its so sweet. He took her into the lounge with him so that they could watch tv together. Im not sure what a cat actually makes of tv but she looked pretty happy to be sat on his lap.

I sometimes feel so impatient to get to my goal weight, its tantalisingly close, yet feels a long way to go too. On the other hand, im not sure I should lose any more weight either. The problem is that ill never be 18 again lol, and my skin is really starting to show signs of being saggy now, especially on my upper arms. I only have another 7.5lbs to go, but it might just tip the balance between being acceptably saggy, and being horribly saggy. A few months ago i had visions of possibly getting into the 10's, but i can see that would be a big mistake now, so 11.5 is the lowest im aiming for. I guess its possible that my skin might recover a bit given a few months to sort itself out, so maybe next year ill look to going a bit lower. Anyway, I havnt hit target yet, and my weight loss has slowed down i think. Ill be happy to lose half a pound a week now, or even sts.

 

[Pink!]

Great to hear about Sophie perking up Rob must be pleased.

I think you look utterly fab as you are now to be honest. At the end of the day it's all about how you feel in yourself; don't push yourself to reach a specific goal just because you've set it. If you're happy now then just work at maintaining this weight.

x

 

[Lynn_]

Thanks Pink

Maintaining, wow, thats the hard bit about dieting lol. I know how to lose weight, im an expert on it, years and years of experience haha, but ive never done maintaining before. Thats the bit about losing weight that is the biggest puzzle and the biggest challenge to me.

 

[Lynn_]

What a bloody awful day ive had! Big hold up on the M4 this morning took an hour to get through, and then to top that J21 of the M25 was closed! and I was on my way to South Mimms. A journey that should have taken no more than an hour and half took 3 and half hours. I left home at 8am and got there at 11.30am.

The journey back was better thank goodness, but had to go in search of fuel before i could get on the motorways. I usually rely on my satnav to get me to the nearest station when im low on fuel, but it wouldnt switch on, so i cruised on fuel fumes and sixth sense

Ive been thinking about my target weight today and i think its not realistic to get down to 11.5. I came to this conclusion because yesterday I tried a dress on in a shop. We are going to a christening on Sunday and I wanted something gorgeous to wear. I saw this dress a few weeks ago, and have wanted to try it. Its a sleeveless black dress with white polka dots, very fitted bodice and waist and then pleated skirt that is just above knee length. When i tried on the 14 the dress looked gorgeous, the skirt has a little bit of net under it to hold it out slightly and it makes my waist look really tiny. However, the dress may have looked gorgeous, but I didnt :sigh: . Because its sleeveless, and cut into the shoulder, it just highlighted the state of my upper arms. When i went to Tunisia I was wearing strappy little Tshirts and had no issue with my arms then, but the 22lbs ive lost since then has revealed saggy skin i didnt know i had.

Ive wanted to get to 11.10lb because that was my lowest weight i got to when i lost weight years ago, so im changing my target to that. I feel i deserve to get down to that weight again, and its possible my black velvet dress will fit me when i do, as it did back then, and as it more of an off the shoulder style it will hide my upper arms a bit if I wear it to the christmas party in Dec.

So im changing my target weight to 11.10lb. Im now a comfortable size 14, and quite honestly I dont want to get down to a 12 with the problems that are now revealing themselves. It wont do me any favours. I have loads of clothes that fit me now and if i can bring myself to believe the photos and the mirror, i look good.

So that means im just 2lbs away from target! Woohoo!

 

[Aline]

Good evening Lynn,

I think your goal is realistic to mantain long-term, so maybe it was a good decision. The fact is that you already looked great at the last picture you shared a few days ago.
About the saggy skin... well, I imagine it may be hard to accept that but overall you look so much better now. Try to focus on everything you achieved, you're healthier, you look prettier overall. Really, don't focus on details, instead look at the whole picture
Other than that you may try to exercise and tone up and there are creams and lotions out there that may help you. I don't think it's necessary, but if you feel that's important for your well-being, go to a pharmacy or dermathologist and get some advice However, never forget you look great and everyone have flaws, that's why we're called humans

 

[Aline]

OMG, I just read your signature and you're so funny I think it's time to tell your hubby to go and see what diamond ring he will buy because you're almost at you goal weight, hehe

 

[Healthy2010]

Hi Lynn,

I think it's only when you get to the point where you've lost the majority of your weight that anyone can really know what their target is. As we can all pick lovely numbers out of the sky for our targets, yet we have to see what looks and feels right on our bodies. You are now in that wonderful position after all of your hard work, and I think you're right to reassess according where you are healthy and happy.

Given you set out to be healthy and be happy with how you look, you've achieved both as you're health is good and you look absolutely fantastic. I know it comes down to what you feel and no amount of other people saying youre slim and gorgeous will make you feel that way, but I think you have to try and see that. It's good youre comfortable in your size 14, that's a step in the right direction and now you just need to start viewing yourself as others do, and you've cracked it.

For weeks, if not months I've read your diary as someone who has done it, achieved the holy Grail of weightloss and made yourself thin. I know you've had a target in mind, but what's in a number? The main thing us youre thin and healthy.

Regarding the saggy skin, I've read a lot on the Internet around this as it's always been a worry of mine, and the consensus seems to be that after losing a lot of weight fairly quickly it can take upto 12 months for your body to adjust and your skin to tighten again. So whatever your skin looks like now will definitely improve over the next 6-12 months whilst you're maintaining.

You're so so close to your target now, i can't wait for you to get there too, you'll be the first person I know on here to do it! Your trail blazing does help too, as I know that my target may be unrealistic for my build and at least I know now the most important thing is to recognise when I'm at the point where I'm just right and need to stop dieting and just maintain a healthy lifestyle.

You'll be trailblazing the maintaining route too, I know thats another challenge in itself, but I'm sure you can become an expert in that too.. I've got such a long way to go, but it helps understanding what the next stage is, so you have to lead us in that too!!

How's Sophie? Hope she's improving xx

 

[Lynn_]

Ahh thanks Heathly

Yes its hard to know what weight is best for you when you start out, but you have to have a figure in mind to aim for. Im much older than I was the last time I lost a serious amount of weight and that has to be taken into consideration, as well the physical aging changes to your body. I do think even at 55, that my skin will recover to a degree, after all Ive lost 5 and half stone in just 23 weeks, so I cant in all honesty expect my body to behave as if im still a teenager! , or even as it did in my mid 30's when skin wasnt such a consideration then. Its no good me being skinny and hating my body just as much as i did when i was fat lol.

Im kind of tempted to start a new diary now, I want to leave my fat self behind now, its like a psychological thing i think. A new body, a new challenge, a new journey. I think I will do that, it really appeals to me, but not before I hit my target. It has to be something ive earned the right to do, even if it is only 2 lbs away

I hope you are feeling better today, I know how miserable tonsillitis is. I had 2 years of it going down with it every 6 or 8 weeks, and ended up having my tonsills out which sorted the problem out once and for all. Mine was triggered by a dose of scarlet fever which is caused by the same bug apparently, so may have been the reason why i kept on getting it. That was a long time ago though, when my children were small.

Sophie is moving around more, she will follow me into the kitchen now, but much prefers the luxury of staying in my study. She reminds of my grandmother who was a terrible hypochondriac lol. My gran found out that she could get a free wheelchair from the red cross. She didnt NEED a wheelchair, but free was good in her book, and she ended up with 3 of them, all cluttering up her hallway. She lived in South London in a terraced victorian house, which was very long from front to back, about 50ft i would estimate, with kitchen at the back. She had one of her wheelchairs in the kitchen that she would sit in.

I used to take it in turns with my mum and sisters to go up on a Sunday and take her shopping to Safeways, who had electric wheelchairs for disabled people to use. She loved those electric wheelchairs, but was dangerous in them. She didnt care who was behind her or in front of her, she would just charge about in it like a maniac! omg the stories I could tell about those trips to Safeway lol.

Anyway, one Sunday I was up there, had brought her back from shopping and got her into her kitchen wheelchair, which always involved a lot of manhandling to get her comfortable. I had got her her dinner and a cup of tea and was getting ready to leave, but she kept thinking up things for me to do to keep me there. I finally managed to get away, and left the house. I shut the front door behind me and had got to the gate, which was no more than 15 ft from the front door, when she was at the front door calling me back! She must have ran from the kitchen to the front door to get me before I even got through the gate! And that was WITH negotiating the spare wheelchairs in the long narrow hallway. She was a character, omg i coud write a book about her. The bread rolls she made with 20 year old flour is something i will never forget either, she would never throw anything away.