Lynn's Diary - My Big Fat Weight Loss Journey

[Lynn_]

Aww thanks Healthy, but my struggle with this is no more or no less than yours or anyone elses, I just have different demons to deal with lol.

Today the diarrhea kicked in big time! Ive spent most of the day either in bed or on the toilet haha, I think that last night must have been because this was building up. Thank god its the weekend and not a work day, otherwise i wouldnt have been going anywhere today, I just hope it eases by Monday, im supposed to be in Redditch on Monday, but not if im hopping on and off the toilet every 10 minutes lol.

I just got up to make myself a green tea with mint, its lovely and very soothing, im so glad you suggested it to me Healthy. I bought the pure peppermint tea too but that was a little bit strong for my taste, but this green tea and mint is perfect.

My weight was down again this morning, im now 14st 9lb, thats a total loss of 4and half pounds this week! woohoo!! 38lb off in exactly 9 weeks. Im so happy with the result even if the journey has been a bit bumpy.

When i started this 9 weeks ago, I got out a pair of jeans that have been hanging in the wardrobe for something like 5years? maybe longer, ive no idea when i bought them. They were obviously a 'slim into' purchase i made long ago. Anyway, at 17st 5 it was laughable, but i showed them to hubby and told him i was determined to wear them one day. The jeans were from M&S bootcut style, and a lovely pale stone colour, still with the price ticket attached lol.

My stomach hurts too much today to actually wear them, but they fit! they do up! There is still a bit of a roll of fat over the waistband, but nothing very significant, and they look fab with the Monsoon cardigan. I also bought some black strappy wedge heel shoes in the sale a couple weeks ago, but the straps cut into my feet a little, but not anymore! Next weekend, we are going out with some friends so ill wear my stone colour jeans, my strappy shoes and my cardigan then. Woohoo! im really excited about that lol, im easily pleased haha.

 

[Lynn_]

OMG got on the scales this morning and ive lost 3lb since yesterday, i was 14.9 and now im 14.6. That was one hell of a session with the diarrhea lol.

I got some immodium today in case this isnt over yet, but my stomach feels much calmer.

Im not going to update my ticker or stats yet, as 2lbs of what i lost yesterday has to be fluid, and i fully expect it to go back on again in the next day or 2.

My lovely hubby bought me the Wallis turquiose cardigan today, i love it!

I gave the byetta a miss this morning, i needed to eat something and enjoy it, so had a poached egg on toast, ill do a dose of byetta later, i dont think ill be able to eat much more today, im very nervous of setting off the explosion again.

 

[Healthy2010]

Lynn, what a nightmare having such an upset tummy, but the weightloss OMG!!!!!!!!!! That is absolutely, brilliant and fantastic and you must be ovejoyed.. and the cherry on top is the jeans fitting and a wonderful kind and generous hubby getting you the cardigan.. It really is a rollercoaster of emotion losing weight and who would think that a day could be filled with so many contradictory feelings.

Glad the peppermint with green tea is helping a bit, I cant wait to see your final weightloss for the week, I bet it feels like you have earned it after feeling so poorly.. I would!

Hope you make it to Redditch I was there today, small world...

Love reading your diary it keeps making me think, when I get to where you are I will be doing the same things, picking up cute clothes from shops I only ever go in to buy things for friends. It makes me smile to thing you have got there and it gives me hope that I can do it too..

Hope there have been no more explosions this evening hun...

Have a fab week, you are doing so so well!

 

[Lynn_]

Still 14.6 today woohoo! so im claiming it! Feel way better too.

Very strange thing today, i dont know why i didnt notice it last week and i cant believe the few lbs i lost this weekend could make such a difference. There is a wardrobe in the spare bedroom that hides a number of 'sins and secrets', clothes ive bought in the past that were too small for me. Ive been diving into the wardrobe every now and then to see what i could find that might now fit. About 3 or 4 weeks ago, my work clothes were getting too baggy to wear, so had a look in the wardobe and found 2 pairs of dark blue trouser and a matching jacket in a size 18 that i had once bought in Matalan, price tickets still attached of course lol. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago i could just get into them, so have been wearing them for work. Today i caught sight of myself in a mirror and could not beleive how baggy the trousers were, but the waist seemed to fit ok, then it dawned on me that they were sitting on my hips not my waist. I could literally grab 4 or 6 inches of loose fabric round my hips. I couldnt understand why they did not feel so loose last week, (but given what has happened in the last few days i think my stomach must have been swollen last week.) Anyway on my way home i was wondering if one of the pairs was a 20 and the other an 18, and i had put on the larger pair, but when i got home, i discovered they were both in fact 18 and both equally loose. So I went up to the local retail park to Evans which was the only clothes shop open this evening to find a cheap pair of trousers for work. I bought a pair of size 16 straight leg trousers that fit, proper waistband, no elasticated jobby. Im just amazed at getting into a 16 already, tho im sure Evans clothes veer on the generous side, but even so, 9 or 10 weeks ago i was in 24/26.

I met an amazing man today, the guy who owns the company i was visiting. He was obviously very intelligent, very knowlegeable about his industry and had lots of ideas of how to expand the business. The only odd thing that struck me was that all his management accounts are hand written, even the year end accounts. He described himself as 'old school' . His adult son also work in the business with him, so I assumed he must be in his early 60's, although I did wonder if his grey hair made him look older than his actual age, as he seemed very on the ball. I asked him if he had any retirement plans for the future and if his son would be taking over the business. He replied that it was something that had been on his mind a lot, but he thought that he would probably continue running the business for at least another 5 years, he then casually mentioned that his son was 55. I laughed, i thought it was a joke, but turns out this guy is 86!!

 

[Lynn_]

I sometimes wonder if this is a dream, if im gonna wake up and find out that i havnt lost weight at all, im still 17st 5, still struggling with my blood sugars, and making no progress.

It seems crazy to me that i bought a pair of size 16 trousers today that fit me, that i own clothes that fit me from Wallis and Monsoon, when ive only ever bought clothes in Evans all these years.

I had really bad flu late last year, i was ill for 4 weeks with it, it may have been swine flu but by the time i got it no one was really interested any more. I was so ill that i was hallucinating at one point. Maybe im still back there, and this is part of my hallucinations.

Someone pinch me please........... but only if this is real lol

 

[Healthy2010]

Pinch!!!!!

It's real Lynn, you are slim, you have done it, and you deserve it! Your last post brought tears to my eyes, it's so wonderful what you have achieved and you're embarking on a completely different phase of life. I love the fact you are appreciating all the little changes the weightloss has given you, right through to the big changes. Evans will soon be a distant memory and as I can tell you're a woman of style and taste, I would wager by the end if the year you're going to have a whole new wardrobe! Do you feel more confident on your new clothes and your new size?

It's amazing the difference to your blood sugars, it must be such a comfort knowing you've improved your health.

Lynn your story is so inspiring, It really helps hearing how you're getting closer and closer to your goal and how your health and happiness are altering as a result. I know you have had a hard time with nausea etc and you've really had to keep the cals down but, how phenomenal are the results.

So happy for you, you enjoy every moment of your achievements. Are you going to do anything in particular to celebrate when you get to your target?

Congratulations on your weight loss Lynn.... Just superb.

 

[Lynn_]

Gosh Healthy I read your post this morning and its been on my mind all day. You said i was slim, but im not slim, BUT being slim isnt about getting to target, its about how you feel about yourself. You dont have to hit that magic number to suddenly transform overnight.

I had a good look in the mirror at myself today, and I like what i see. I actually feel quite tearful just saying that. Yes i need to lose weight, I still have 3 stone to go to target, and maybe a bit more beyond that, but i look good. Im still 14.6 but do you know what? if i stayed 14.6 for the rest of my life i think i would be very happy with that.

You dont have to be slim to have the courage to look yourself in the eye and say 'you are doing ok'

Im doing ok.

 

[Healthy2010]

Lynn you are absolutely right, and everything is perception and how you perceive yourself. Im so happy that you can feel good about yourself and be happy with what you see in the mirror. My perception and others im sure, would be that at your weight and size, you wont look fat, you wont look big, you will look average and to me average is slim. My aim has always to be average and normal size as that is slim to me. Thin is something different, yes its good, but so long as Im a a healthy size I'll be happy too.

Looking at your BMI you are 6 points away from ideal, thats amazing Lynn and shows you are so close..

That mental hurdle of seeing yourself how you are now, and not how you used to be is so difficult. Its right what you say, that at your target you don't overnight become slim, its a gradual thing and it seems to me that youve hit the point where youre head has to catch up with your weight loss and I think its brilliant that epiphany moment has come.

You enjoy that feeling Lynn, you absolutely deserve it.

 

[Lynn_]

Oh dear today has not been good. Was in Birmingham office today for a meeting and a bombshell has been dropped on us. From Monday we will be reporting to a different office with a different manager whose team has the lowest moral of all the audit teams. Im not happy. I dont even know yet if my job will change. On the up side it might mean less travelling, on the down side it may mean I have to go into London, the thought of it just makes me shudder.

Felt very depressed after the meeting so I went into Debenhams in the Bullring and spent nearly £70 on new makeup, which is funny really. 10 weeks ago my first stop would have been pizzahut no doubt haha. But dont be fooled into thinking im being strong willed by avoiding a food fest, that would be my first choice but the byetta means i simply couldnt do it, not unless i want to be violently ill after.

Oh well, maybe it wont be so bad, and i have some gorgeous new makeup to play with haha.

 

[Healthy2010]

Aww Lynn really sorry you've had some bad news with work. I really hope it sorts itself out and it wint turn out as badly as you fear. London is a great place for shopping after work, could be a good thing? Work stress is horrid, and all I can say from my experience is change is always scary but it often turn out much better than you think. Maybe less travelling is a worth the changes. Sorry hun, it's probably not what you want to hear, uncertainty isn't great and I bet you just want someone to tell you it's all a big mistake.

On the plus side nice new makeup is a winner every time! I love make up too, live buying it wearing it and certain brands (givency ysl) live smelling too! Whoopee that your meds stopped you doing a sprint to pizza hut... Seriously though it's your will power that stopped you! Yet another achievement.

Really hope tomorrow is better for you x

 

[Lynn_]

Ahh thanks Healthy, I had a bit of a cry on the phone to hubby tonight when he rang me and i feel a bit better now. Ive done this particular job for 12 years now and there hasnt been a day when i havnt loved it, even the bad days.

I may have mentioned before that hubby loses his job at the end of this year, he will be 61 (my god, where did the last 34 years go, im sure he was 27 when i last looked) so he will be retiring. Im 55 so i could take early retirement but i had planned to go on working for at least another 2 years, but if it all turns bad then i may give up work sooner. Ill be the sexiest damn pensioner out there lol.....pass me my zimmer frame on the way out, ill be saying 'does my bum look big in this?'

 

[emma237]

Hey Lynn, howw are you getting on. Hope the nausea is wearing off for you. x

 

[Lynn_]

Hi Emma, the nausea has been a lot better this week and im begining to feel much better for it. How are things with you?

 

[Healthy2010]

Hi Lynn,

Hope youre feeling better today, on the work front and on the nausea front!

Good your husband made you feel better, its sounds like fate could be bringing you early retirement which could the most exciting adventure!!! As you love the job, I hope you can work things out, if not, the alternative sounds brilliant!! With your gorgeous new body the world will be your oyster, maybe take up the photography youve obviously got a takent for it..

 

[Lynn_]

Whoopee! My new bras from Marisota turned up in the post today. I bought some bras in June which were 46GG from Evans, but they never really fitted properly and now the back strap rides up to my shoulder blades. Im not convinced that Evans bras ever do a good job of fitting, but they did me for a few weeks. Marisota website has a video for how to fit them properly, so my new bras are 40G, and they feel great, and pretty cheap too considering, 2 bras for £24.

My weight is still 14.6 which is great, ive kept pace with the fluid loss from last weekend, my official WI is Saturdays, so i still have time to drop a little more if its gonna happen this week.

Im working at home today, this could be the last time i actually get to be able to have day to work from home as i work for the dragon next week. Bah! So i had a good long lie in, might as well enjoy it while i can.

Doing much better on the Byetta now, nausea is minimal now, so thats a relief. I read on the internet that some people (non diabetics) in USA are being offered Byetta as a weight loss aid, although its only licenced as a type 2 diabetes drug. But then on other websites, they say average weight loss over a 30 week period is between 6 to 10lb and I cant see why a doctor would prescribe it for weight loss if that were the expected result, but maybe those people were able to carry on eating more 'normally'. Anyway, i laugh at those figures haha. 41lb in 10 weeks here and ive not even moved up to the full strength dose yet.

 

[Healthy2010]

That's amazing Lynn, you have achieved brilliant results, your doc must be ecstatic with your progress. So good that the nausea has calmed down too, can't have been easy dealing with that every day.

Bras sound fab, and so much smaller! I agree re Evans bras terrible fit, haven't bought them from there for years. I'm an m&s girl, although was fighting to keep in them as was in a 44DD and the back size didn't go any higher! Now I'm back in ones I bought years ago, that still had tags on as they didn't fit when I bought them. Love underwear, will be one of my first shopping sprees when i get to a better size.

So anymore news on the job front, hope the outlook is a bit brighter for you. Definitely make the most of working from home.

Hope the weigh in goes well tomorrow, your weightloss this week has been incredible. Hope you have a good weekend x

 

[Healthy2010]

Lynn, hope everything improves on the job front, and the nausea has finally stopped. Have a great week , and I look forward to seeing your results x

 

[Lynn_]

Still 14.6 today, now im getting frustrated lol. I said the other day i would be happy if i stayed at 14.6 now, but ya know this is getting a repetitive. 14.6 every morning since last Sunday. Its not as if i eat very much, but oh well, im sure it will move soon.

On Friday evening i had thought it would be nice if we went out for a drink, so we went over to Thatcham, expecting to see my son and his wife in the club there. Turned out Son had gone to the cinema and his wife had gone to bingo, so we just had one drink and left. I hadnt had my evening byetta jab, so suggested to hubby that we went to get something to eat. I really enjoyed the chicken salad I had at the Beefeater innn the other day and quite fancied that again. The nearest one to us is Reading, so we found it but it was packed out. Waited 30 minutes for a table then when the waitress was walking us through the restaurant, i slipped badly on the wooden floor and came down heavily on my left leg. God it felt like i had broken it! it so painful. I managed to hobble to the table and they got an ice pack to put on my leg. I had the chicken salad but didnt enjoy it so much as my leg hurt, the ice pack was cold and it started dripping water everywhere. I was glad to get home again. My leg is fine now, no broken bones after all and the ice pack stopped any bruising or swelling.

Am working in Exeter tommorow, long journey as its about 150 miles from me and i need to be there before 10am, then Tuesday is Swansea, so when i leave Exeter tommorow ill just drive into Wales and stay at the hotel my hubby stays at all week. They do nice salads there so dinner shouldnt be a problem but ill have to miss another dose of byetta to be able to eat in the evening. They also have a great swimming pool, so ill be able to relax in the pool before dinner.

Am really off food today, I was going to have poached egg this morning but couldnt face it, so had an apple, and ive just eaten another apple now at 6pm. I may have a poached egg on toast this evening.

 

[Lynn_]

I just got home from Wales, spend longer there than i intended, thought i would be home yesterday evening. So i stayed 2 nights at the hotel. I have missed 3 doses of byetta, monday evening, and the 2 for Tuesday. Was so nice to feel normal for a while.

On Monday evening at the hotel i had a small starter of seared scallops with a bit of cucumber salad, and a piece of hubbys bread as i was so hungry i was actually shaking, as i had only eaten 2 apples all day. Then had a tuna salad, that was very uninteresting, tinned tuna in brine, so had virtually no taste and was dry, the salad was ok, but i got sick of trying to eat it so left half of it. Tuesday morning i had a small breakfast, small bowl of plain yoghurt and a piece of wholemeal toast spread with some tomato ketchup and an egg. Then yesterday evening I had a small bowl of chicken and asparagus soup, a whole piece of bread this time (!) and followed that with seared fresh tuna with tomato salsa and a salad, that was really delicious, but couldnt eat it all as i was so full. This morning i had the same breakfast as yesterday. I did do the byetta injection this morning but dreaded it after having almost 2 days off it, but it didnt make me feel sick so thats a relief.

Ive just got home and its storming here, i had to run from the car to house but still got soaked. So now ive got a hot cup of coffee to warm me up, ill have to wait for the rain to stop before i can retrieve my bags from the car.

Havnt weighed myself since Monday morning, so im keen to see what damage if any has been done to my weight. But I really dont think what ive eaten should make me gain anything, and maybe having had some real food for a change i might lose some this week.

 

[Lynn_]

OMG im sooo excited!!! My daughter rang me when i got home, she has booked a holiday to Tunisia in August, and im gonna go with them for their second week! I rang work and asked for the time off, and they agreed it, then i rang hubby for use of his credit card and he agreed it! so then i booked it!!! Woohoo!! going 28th Aug for a week in the sun, i cant wait. Oh god im so happy ive lost 3 stone, what a bit of luck that was! Maybe i can shift another stone before i get there, well ok another half a stone, or even a few pounds lol, i dont care, anything will do Woohoo!!!!