Major F**k up
- Thread starter Goreygirl
- Start date
Goreygirl
Gold Member
Lily
Gold Member
You've been missed, hun {{{hug}}}
And God, can I identify with how you feel / felt! I haven't been binging for any of those reasons, yet the emotional and behavioural hits seem identical. We get ourselves all miserable, then beat ourselves over the head with food.
Food as reward, food as solace, food as company - we're all pretty familiar with using food for those reasons.
But I realised this morning that I'd been using food as punishment. As if some inner gremlin said, "Hey, I know what will really f**k you up! Food!"
And it worked.
Made me feel terrible about myself (inner angel is now screaming, "What? It's food!"
Huh. I'm not exactly having a great day (my new job is stressing me to the eyeballs), but it's only going to seem worse if I eat. I can see that today. I'm hoping I'll still be able to see that this evening too. And tomorrow.
Sometimes, all you can do is try to cope with everything hour by hour.
As for disappointing your CDC, you won't. Trust me - she's seen it/heard it/lived it all before. Getting it wrong is all part of the longer process of getting it right.
:hug99:
And God, can I identify with how you feel / felt! I haven't been binging for any of those reasons, yet the emotional and behavioural hits seem identical. We get ourselves all miserable, then beat ourselves over the head with food.
Food as reward, food as solace, food as company - we're all pretty familiar with using food for those reasons.
But I realised this morning that I'd been using food as punishment. As if some inner gremlin said, "Hey, I know what will really f**k you up! Food!"
And it worked.
Made me feel terrible about myself (inner angel is now screaming, "What? It's food!"Huh.
I'm not exactly having a great day (my new job is stressing me to the eyeballs), but it's only going to seem worse if I eat. I can see that today. I'm hoping I'll still be able to see that this evening too. And tomorrow.Sometimes, all you can do is try to cope with everything hour by hour.
As for disappointing your CDC, you won't. Trust me - she's seen it/heard it/lived it all before. Getting it wrong is all part of the longer process of getting it right.
:hug99:
Goreygirl
Gold Member
Thanks Lily.
I certainly identify with the food as punishment thing as well. I think Contrary hit the nail on the head in the Emotional Eating thread when she says it is important not just to do something nice for yourself (like a hot bath but in honesty I hate baths... I feel like a fat lump in them!) but to do something that changes the feeling... so something productive or active so you can acknowlege feel angry / hurt / lonely but rather than "feeding" that sensation you do something that gives you a positive feeling / a sense of pride etc.
I certainly identify with the food as punishment thing as well. I think Contrary hit the nail on the head in the Emotional Eating thread when she says it is important not just to do something nice for yourself (like a hot bath but in honesty I hate baths... I feel like a fat lump in them!) but to do something that changes the feeling... so something productive or active so you can acknowlege feel angry / hurt / lonely but rather than "feeding" that sensation you do something that gives you a positive feeling / a sense of pride etc.
great things
Gold Member
remember that we are all here for you. if you feel this way again reach for the computer.
fed-up-and-fat
hoping for a good loss
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Hope you can get back on track chick x
redhead66
This will be my year
Aw GG, I'm only just catching up with all the threads after the weekend, so I'm a bit late to this, but I'm sending you the hugest hug.
What happened even a minute ago is now the past, none of us can change it, we can only learn from it to shape our future. Many of us can relate to the self perpetuating circle of food and low self esteem, but you're making steps in the right direction to deal with it... and that's something to be proud of yourself for. And as for the married man, don't feel disgust for something you didn't do... it's that Catholic guilt thing coming out, so stamp it firmly underfoot and stop feeding the feeling!
You're always here for us with your wise words and endless support, but it's 2-way street, so next time promise that you won't suffer in silence when there are friends here to share the burden xxx
What happened even a minute ago is now the past, none of us can change it, we can only learn from it to shape our future. Many of us can relate to the self perpetuating circle of food and low self esteem, but you're making steps in the right direction to deal with it... and that's something to be proud of yourself for. And as for the married man, don't feel disgust for something you didn't do... it's that Catholic guilt thing coming out, so stamp it firmly underfoot and stop feeding the feeling!
You're always here for us with your wise words and endless support, but it's 2-way street, so next time promise that you won't suffer in silence when there are friends here to share the burden xxx
