morbidly obese to cheerfully overweight!

[Sonya73]

thanks Lynn and madmuppet - great name btw!!! Good luck with the new diet!

Lynn, I was looking at your pics the other day - they really are inspirational, well done, you look lovely.

Race for life was definitely easier without so much weight to drag round with me... if I had done it last year, I would have been carrying the equivalent of more than a sack of spuds round with me... no wonder exercise becomes hard work...

.

When I was very big, 17 to 18 stone, I mentally felt smaller than I was, and seeing pictures of myself was a shock. I just didnt believe them.

oh me too - I thought I was a bit overweight... I wasn't happy with how i looked, but I didn't realise how much of that was about being as fat as I was...

I hated seeing pics of myself, I guess cos that presented me with the evidence of something I didnt want to accept... I never weighed myself, and if I had to guess at the time, I would have thought I was about 14 stone I think... in reality I was at least 17, more at my heaviest I think!

The other thing I am finding weird (however I say this its going to sound a little odd, but I know what I mean...) is how my body feels.. I mean feels to the touch, not feels to inhabit - I still feel fat, but occasionally I will notice I can feel my ribs, or a hip bone, and they are not vague bumps under inches of flesh... also the fact that when I'm in bed, my stomach now lies flat...I often wake up feeling my belly, and being a little surprised - its the novelty value I think!!

...when I stand up its a different story sadly - it's like a landslide!

- my body is very different to how it was a year ago, and although there is still work to be done, and another 24lbs to go, I am trying to appreciate and take ownership of the new body, without getting complacent and letting it all creep on again!

I think it is a hard balance to strike, but I'm sure being aware of the gap between our own perceptions and reality helps, and as you say, hopefully it will come with time.

 

[Lynn_]

I hated seeing pics of myself, I guess cos that presented me with the evidence of something I didnt want to accept... I never weighed myself, and if I had to guess at the time, I would have thought I was about 14 stone I think... in reality I was at least 17, more at my heaviest I think!

The other thing I am finding weird (however I say this its going to sound a little odd, but I know what I mean...) is how my body feels.. I mean feels to the touch, not feels to inhabit - I still feel fat, but occasionally I will notice I can feel my ribs, or a hip bone, and they are not vague bumps under inches of flesh... also the fact that when I'm in bed, my stomach now lies flat...I often wake up feeling my belly, and being a little surprised - its the novelty value I think!!

I am exactly like that too. When I was big I was convinced that I wasnt anymore than 14st, or if I was, that I didnt look bigger than 14st. Its only the photos that really shocked me. If I looked into a mirror, I wouldnt look at my whole body, my mind would just blank that bit out.


If I press my stomach I feel a layer of soft fat, even now. Even though there are bones there too, I just cant understand why there is all this fat there. But when Im dressed, I dont think you would know that it was there. its only when im undressed that I see it. I sometimes think about a tummy tuck, but really, why would I need to put myself through surgery and not only that, the cost of it, when a good pair of jeans holds it all in nicely. Ill never wear a bikini, but at 56 maybe thats a blessing lol.

You will notice an amazing difference in yourself when you shift the final 25lb. You may not think so now, but that last 25lb makes a HUGE difference. It was the difference between size 14/16 in jeans to size 10 for me.

Keep it up Sonya, you are doing great!

 

[Sonya73]

I am exactly like that too. When I was big I was convinced that I wasnt anymore than 14st, or if I was, that I didnt look bigger than 14st. Its only the photos that really shocked me. If I looked into a mirror, I wouldnt look at my whole body, my mind would just blank that bit out.


If I press my stomach I feel a layer of soft fat, even now. Even though there are bones there too, I just cant understand why there is all this fat there. But when Im dressed, I dont think you would know that it was there. its only when im undressed that I see it. I sometimes think about a tummy tuck, but really, why would I need to put myself through surgery and not only that, the cost of it, when a good pair of jeans holds it all in nicely. Ill never wear a bikini, but at 56 maybe thats a blessing lol.

You will notice an amazing difference in yourself when you shift the final 25lb. You may not think so now, but that last 25lb makes a HUGE difference. It was the difference between size 14/16 in jeans to size 10 for me.

Keep it up Sonya, you are doing great!

Ah, yes, I've wondered about a tummy tuck too - but I have never worn a bikini before, so it's not that important to me to start now!

If I was going to have anything 'done', I would prob have my boobs tweaked and lifted... but I'm very wary of the risk for something essentially cosmetic...having had vital surgery before, it's not something I would undertake lightly..


Thankyou so much for the advice re: the last 25lbs.. that really does help, and you are right - I feel quite comfortable at the moment, and I am worried I will end up sticking here... but its a mental block rather than a physical one... and I do want to get past it, to get to a healthy BMI... the last time I was that weight, I was 19... and I thought I was fat then...

I also thought I was fat as a kid.. looking back I was like a toothpick... where do we get these wonky self images from!?!?

I cant imagine picking up size ten jeans... well done you!!!

 

[Lynn_]

I have to tell you Sonya, that getting into a 10 was a massive shock, I was never that size even as a teenager (and yes i felt fat then too lol, even though I was pretty thin from the old photos). I was convinced that my bone structure would mean I would never be smaller than a 14, and when I got down to a 14 I thought that was it, that was as far as I was going to go. It was only when they were hanging off me that I ventured into a 12. So pleased was I to be in a 12 that I splashed out on a pair on Jasper Conran jeans, but within weeks they were too big on me too! I went into Debenhams and picked up a pair of size 10 John Rocha jeans and sluck off to the changing room expecting to be lying on the floor practically to get them on, and they fitted me, and not only that even those are loose on me now.

You will get there too, and pretty soon if you put your mind to it. Its easy to get complacent when you have lost a lost of weight which you have, and think to yourself that you can take it easy. Dont! Keep going keep focussed and dont give up. Your target is so close now, you will get there. You think you feel good now, you will feel totally amazing when you hit target! There is nothing like it

 

[Sonya73]

You will get there too, and pretty soon if you put your mind to it. Its easy to get complacent when you have lost a lost of weight which you have, and think to yourself that you can take it easy. Dont! Keep going keep focussed and dont give up. Your target is so close now, you will get there. You think you feel good now, you will feel totally amazing when you hit target! There is nothing like it

Thankyou - you are right about complacency setting in - I am in size 14 jeans now (loose!), and 16 tops, so I can buy clothes wherever I like... which was one of my big motivating factors...

At times I feel it would be easy to decide to settle with where I am now... but I want to do it, I want to be slim... to make it all the way to goal, and to prove to myself that I can.. I just need to keep focus, and your encouragement is so helpful, thankyou so much... friends and family who haven't done this journey cannot relate to how it feels, and why I am worried about losing motivation!

It doesn't help when people say 'don't lose too much' or 'you don't need to lose any more' - I am still above a healthy BMI, and that will be my benchmark.

you are right, I must keep on...

 

[Sonya73]

I think I need to up my low fat protein sources, I'm reducing carbs somewhat, and looking for lower GI alternatives, but as I understand it, protein fills you up more anyway...

I need some easy to cook/no cooking involved protein sources... I eat eggs, I buy chicken sometimes, but struggle with my conscience as I prefer to buy free range, which pre cooked chicken is not...

I hate cooking for myself too, as I'm still not fond of eating alone...

Still stuck at 178 lbs... but I have been sitting at the computer working for the last 2 days, and feeling a bit sore since 'race for life', so the dogs walks have been shorter than normal!

 

[Lynn_]

Have you considered trying the high protein meal replacements? I have one for breakfast everyday as they are filling, low carb and only 200 cals. I really like them too ( I use Exante) and it means i dont have to think about food in the morning. Ill have them for an easy quick lunch too, especially if i need to save a few calories for an evening out.

You can do them as a VLCD for a total nutrition food replacement fast weight loss diet, but that took more willpower than I was ever capable of. But as a way of having a low cal low carb high protein meal they are invaluable.

 

[Sonya73]

that's a good idea Lynn - can you only buy exante online? I could do with something I could buy locally - I have done slimfast in the past, maybe that is worth a try again, but I'm not sure how high protein slimfast is, I will have to do some research...

I have seen celebrity slim locally, but when I bought one of their bars it ended up in the bin, I just couldnt face it, it was waxy, chewy and tasted artificial. Again, I know little about their shakes, but will have a look!

 

[Lynn_]

Hi Sonya, yes Exante is only available online from the website and to get the best value you need to buy 1 months worth which is £105 with delivery, which gives you 84 sachets. I would steer clear of slimfast as it contains sugar, so the carbs will be much higher. Cambridge diet would be available locally for you from a rep, but is quite a bit more expensive than Exante, but you can buy smaller quantities (I believe).

I dont know anything about Celebrity Slim as Ive never tried that, but you would need to check the contents to see if sugar is listed.

 

[Sonya73]

my scales died last week... I think psychologically I may have let myself off the hook and over-indulged a bit... I'm going to try and pop into the shops and buy new scales today... hope the damage isn't too bad.. must get properly motivated again!

 

[RainbowRose]

Hi
look on your new scales, as your new determined start

I hope you get something sorted out regarding the replacement meal/drinks. I too prefer free range, all my eggs are free range, and occasionaly, if i am quick enough, i manage to buy a free range chicken, before they are all bought up!

Sorry to hear you feel stuck on your current weight, your system just needs a wee kick-start for the motivation to kick in, then there will be no stopping you!
My nurse mentioned xenical (oristat) pills when i reach the stuck stage. She said it might be worth considering, to kick-start my weight loss again, but not to rely on them, as it also takes willpower to lose more weight. Might that be an option for you?
I took xenical a long time ago, and they did work for me, but my mind wasn't in the right place, and despite losing...i still gave up????? d'uh!

You have done so very well already, and only another 24lbs is so possible to do. Good luck!

have a good day

 

[Sonya73]

right, back home with new scales... they are weighing me in at 180lbs in light clothing, so I dont seem to have put much on, even if I havent lost.. also, I was weighing in late morning, instead of first thing, so that is quite positive really!

Had about a pint of coffee for breakfast, 'boots shapers' sushi, crisps and fizzy water for lunch... so quite virtuous so far - but I am off out for a few drinks later..

Will get back into the daily weigh-ins now (they seem to work for me!) and see if I can get kick started again... I have had a piggy few days, and find sometimes it is easier to lose after a few days 'off'... but if not, I may consider xenical, just as a bit of a boost to the process really!

Thanks for your support!

 

[TTfan]

Hi Sonya, I just wanted to say well done on your diet, you're doing so well, and that I also have the strange losing nothing for weeks and then losing everything at once thing. This might seem like a strange question, but do you suffer from migraines? I've noticed that my sudden losses often come around the time I get a migraine and had thought it might be something to do with water retention/salt imbalances. Or maybe we both just have strange metabolisms!

 

[Sonya73]

Hi, not posted for a while.. it's still going, slowly... in fits and starts... but down to 172lbs today (12 stone 4) which is pretty good...

I dont care how long it takes me I will get there! BMI is now under 27!! yay! it was over 37 when I started!!

this is probably the lightest I have been since my teens, I was quite slim in my late teens, but still weighed in at 11 stone, before gradually putting weight on since then!

TTfan, no migraines, thankfully - but I do reckon its hormonal, or water retention (or cake retention in my case maybe!)

 

[blossums]

You've done amazingly well, is really inspiring for me to read your story as I've only just started and find it a bit difficult to get my hear around the idea that I could actually do this

Well done

Just a thought if you're still looking for low fat protein - prawns are amazingly low fat and low cal - and you can buy em ready cooked

All the best

 

[Barb]

Well done Sonya, you've kept at it and you are nearly there. Fantastic, inspiring stuff!

 

[Sonya73]

ooh I forgot prawns.. love em... crabsticks can be handy too!

I've realised lately that when I was with the ex, I was trying to cook filling meals economically, which tended to involved plenty of carbs.

I was often trying to feed us both reasonably cheaply, as for several years we lived on my wage whilst he studied. My ex had a large appetite and we were both overweight, and I suppose I liked cooking for him.

However, now its just me, I can make meals just to suit me... even though things like prawns are quite expensive, I wont be eating them my the bucketload, and even if I get through a bag a week, its not going to break the bank!

It also occured to me the other day that I could buy some of the nicer/healthier ready meals from m&s and have them a couple of times a week, for a change...

old habits die hard... I used to cook stews and casseroles for two of us... it feels pointless for one, but I've struggled to find new alternatives as a single person, maybe I just have to start again from scratch and develop new habits.

Good luck blossums, you can do this - if I can, you can... !

and well done barb - keep at it!

 

[blossums]

That's a really good idea bout the ready meals and I'll bet Marks n Sparks have some really nice ones I'm enjoying 2 or 3 ready meals a week too, have found some really tasty ones for 300 - 400 cals and if I'm hungry I add some veg, even if it's only heating up some peas or carrots or something

With the prawns I'm buying them when they are bogof at the supermarket, they freeze really well and go lovely in a big strir fry yum

And I think you've hit the nail on the head about discovering a new way to cook - It could even be a little bit exciting to discover what you like now

It's so easy to become used to what you do for a partner isn't it - I usually cook for me and bf and he likes a lot of fatty meat and a lot of carbs and preferably no veg - It's no wonder I've become so big lol - Am letting him fend for himself now, just cooking us a healthy meal we can share a couple times a week

Thanks a lot, and look forward to hearing how you get on
x

 

[Sonya73]

thanks, I will buy myself some ready meals I think... I've woken up feeling really sorry for myself this morning - need to kick myself up the bum, I'm supposed to be working, but I'm procrastinating instead.

I think it's hormones, wrong time of the month and all that. I'm enjoying being single, and I wouldnt want to be back with the ex (in fact my only regret about that relationship is that I let it waste so much of my life)... But I do have moments where I wish my life had turned out differently than it has... in particular, I would have liked to have had a child, and whilst most of the time I'm grateful of my freedom, and I enjoy being with friends children, sometimes the fact that I haven't had the opportunity to be a mum saddens me... and today is one of those days, god knows why.

 

[Sonya73]

feeling brighter today - been out for a spot of lunch, had a starter instead of a main - smoked salmon, prawns and salad with a wholemeal torpedo roll and one pat of butter... was nice, and apart from the bread and butter, it was low in calories!!

I've also bought myself a new (well, secondhand, from a local charity shop) settee... mine is falling apart and really uncomfortable.

The 'new' one is used, but clean, comfortable, and neutral enough (tan leather) and I will finally be able to stretchy out on it and relax... which will be nice, I'm sick of having nowhere to get comfy and relax in the evenings!