Glad you are around, but not to hear of your frustration! Could you just plan to be in "holding pattern"until work sorts itself out, rather than put pressure on yourself and potentially fail? (And get more frustrated!) Remember that old- change what you can, accept what you can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference prayer? I was heaps older than you when I finally worked out what this meant, but I think the wisdom to know the difference is the most important bit. If things are unsettled in your life, and you are probably sick of calorie counting, you are up against it. Once things pick up a bit, and you've had a break, you could attack it with new force! (This could be a practice at maintaining for you! Just for a little while)