My Diary...
- Thread starter leeds123
- Start date
sumayyah
please try again
i know with the recession taking the plinge to go is a very scary place indeed
maybe keep an eye out for something you would prefer in the mean time?
i keep contemplating applying to asda since my experience seems obsolete nursery nursing has changed in the 5 years ive been out and everywhere wants you to have experience working with the new early years curriculum.
my cdc thou is keen for me to be a cdc when i get to goal thou i would be doing it out of my car, she cant wait till she doesnt have to travel into my town, lol
maybe keep an eye out for something you would prefer in the mean time?
i keep contemplating applying to asda since my experience seems obsolete nursery nursing has changed in the 5 years ive been out and everywhere wants you to have experience working with the new early years curriculum.
my cdc thou is keen for me to be a cdc when i get to goal thou i would be doing it out of my car, she cant wait till she doesnt have to travel into my town, lol
cornishkez
Gold Member
Same Leeds, I hate my new job. Every morning driving in I feel like turning around and not going. I've been looking for anything that will satisfy my brain and pay the bills. I can't believe how little there is about?
kez, i really feel for you! Claire, thanks for the advice and i think you would be a brilliant CDC.
as for me, well, same old vicious circle. i could quit work, but then i would feel bad for not standing up for myself. after all what they have done is illegal and i cant let my bully of boss get away with it. but i am the most non-confrontational person on the planet so doing anything about it is hard as hell. i have to raise it properly now, but then worry if i leave my boss might give me a bad reference or at least refer to this grievance i am raising to any new employer. i know i have to do it, its hard, i havent slept for weeks, but i cant carry on as it is, and i cant just leave. i know i will leave this place of employment as there has been too much water under the bridge and i cant somewhere like this anymore, but i'm scared of never finding work again. if i leave i will have a good year off with my kids as its been a hellish year, and we will have to do without luxuries but that is fine with me! enough work problems and stress - sorry to go on! if anyone has any advice please share! even if you have been in a bad situation and come through pls share!
as for diet, i havent been good. on cd but not 100% properly and today i bought new scales and am 11.7 on the them. this is higher than on my old scales but hey ho! i know its way higher than the lowest i got to before June when i was in the 10's but i have more or less been this weight for months.
my initial goal was 11.7 and i havent gained any of the weight lost initially (although have been hovering at this weight and losing and gaining the same 8lbs since June). my final goal is 10.7. i dont know if i will get there. but for now i have decided to maintain until my head is sorted. i will be doing CD and if i lose thats great but if i have bad days then as long as i do not gain weight i will be fine. i have to sort out my life first. so i'll see what happens this week. i lost all my gain from my week off cd and no matter what kind of day i am having i stick with my water intake and never overeat so i have learnt something and like a said a few posts ago, i feel good about my body now so any more weight loss is great, but no more is ok for now. i know i am rambling, but please stick with me, your support is invaluable and it sometimes makes the difference between a nibbly day and a 100% good day.
as for me, well, same old vicious circle. i could quit work, but then i would feel bad for not standing up for myself. after all what they have done is illegal and i cant let my bully of boss get away with it. but i am the most non-confrontational person on the planet so doing anything about it is hard as hell. i have to raise it properly now, but then worry if i leave my boss might give me a bad reference or at least refer to this grievance i am raising to any new employer. i know i have to do it, its hard, i havent slept for weeks, but i cant carry on as it is, and i cant just leave. i know i will leave this place of employment as there has been too much water under the bridge and i cant somewhere like this anymore, but i'm scared of never finding work again. if i leave i will have a good year off with my kids as its been a hellish year, and we will have to do without luxuries but that is fine with me! enough work problems and stress - sorry to go on! if anyone has any advice please share! even if you have been in a bad situation and come through pls share!
as for diet, i havent been good. on cd but not 100% properly and today i bought new scales and am 11.7 on the them. this is higher than on my old scales but hey ho! i know its way higher than the lowest i got to before June when i was in the 10's but i have more or less been this weight for months.
my initial goal was 11.7 and i havent gained any of the weight lost initially (although have been hovering at this weight and losing and gaining the same 8lbs since June). my final goal is 10.7. i dont know if i will get there. but for now i have decided to maintain until my head is sorted. i will be doing CD and if i lose thats great but if i have bad days then as long as i do not gain weight i will be fine. i have to sort out my life first. so i'll see what happens this week. i lost all my gain from my week off cd and no matter what kind of day i am having i stick with my water intake and never overeat so i have learnt something and like a said a few posts ago, i feel good about my body now so any more weight loss is great, but no more is ok for now. i know i am rambling, but please stick with me, your support is invaluable and it sometimes makes the difference between a nibbly day and a 100% good day.
great things
Gold Member
it sounds like you're going through hell and back again. why not go and get a sick not from your doctor. you need out of that place but you also need work.
i had a hell of a time when i got my first real job. i went to uni late and qualified as a primary school teacher. my first place i got my job as an NQT (newly qualified teacher) was the stuff of nightmares. i had such a tough time it was daft. i ended up on the sick with reactive depression. the deputy and the head were bully's and tried to blame everything that went wrong on me. when i asked for support they told me that i had to do things myself as they couldn't do my job for me etc etc. i stuck it out almost 2 years. i got another job when i was on the sick but due to bad advice from the school i was at i wrote down the wrong number of sick days on my application for (still don't know how they work them out) my new job. my new place got rid of me through that and took me to the GTC (general teaching council) who decided to give me a reprimand for lying on my application form. the school secretary (a right b*t*h) of my first school appeared at the GTC hearing and told a pack of lies and so i was stuck for 2 years with this going on. i had to wait 2 years to it to happen then 2 more years i served it. luckily i had my 2 kids in the mean time and i got supply work.
it was very strange cause my old head and deputy told me i was a bad teacher, no better than a student teacher - when on supply i got watched by an OFSTED team and they said my lessons were good and why was i on supply!!!! speaks volumes doesn't it. i think that i showed my old deputy up as i play piano and i can just pick up the music and play it and she couldn't do this. i also had some great ideas:- for example when one teacher in our team was off as we had very little money left for supply cover i told them that i could take all the year 5's if she would take all the year 6's that way we wouldn't need cover for the day. i think she hated my methodical brain, i was very organised. it was only when i'd left that school that they all found out how much work i'd done. shame really. it was a blow your own trumpet school. you had to announce what you'd done where i just get on and do it and don't make a fuss or announce anything.
i've not gone back to work again since my dude was born and i am very happy about this so far. i think that i'd like to go into another area when i'm ready to work again. i'm very lucky in that my hubby has his own, very successful business and brings in enough money for us both. if he didn't i would work again in teacher. the only problem with supply work is that you can't plan out your day or plan when the kids need to be in nursery and it would cost me a fortune to put them into nursery the amount they would need to be in just in case i got a call.
i hope things get better for you and i would certainly suggest a visit to the doc for a sick note even if you only get it and use it for a couple of weeks.
i had a hell of a time when i got my first real job. i went to uni late and qualified as a primary school teacher. my first place i got my job as an NQT (newly qualified teacher) was the stuff of nightmares. i had such a tough time it was daft. i ended up on the sick with reactive depression. the deputy and the head were bully's and tried to blame everything that went wrong on me. when i asked for support they told me that i had to do things myself as they couldn't do my job for me etc etc. i stuck it out almost 2 years. i got another job when i was on the sick but due to bad advice from the school i was at i wrote down the wrong number of sick days on my application for (still don't know how they work them out) my new job. my new place got rid of me through that and took me to the GTC (general teaching council) who decided to give me a reprimand for lying on my application form. the school secretary (a right b*t*h) of my first school appeared at the GTC hearing and told a pack of lies and so i was stuck for 2 years with this going on. i had to wait 2 years to it to happen then 2 more years i served it. luckily i had my 2 kids in the mean time and i got supply work.
it was very strange cause my old head and deputy told me i was a bad teacher, no better than a student teacher - when on supply i got watched by an OFSTED team and they said my lessons were good and why was i on supply!!!! speaks volumes doesn't it. i think that i showed my old deputy up as i play piano and i can just pick up the music and play it and she couldn't do this. i also had some great ideas:- for example when one teacher in our team was off as we had very little money left for supply cover i told them that i could take all the year 5's if she would take all the year 6's that way we wouldn't need cover for the day. i think she hated my methodical brain, i was very organised. it was only when i'd left that school that they all found out how much work i'd done. shame really. it was a blow your own trumpet school. you had to announce what you'd done where i just get on and do it and don't make a fuss or announce anything.
i've not gone back to work again since my dude was born and i am very happy about this so far. i think that i'd like to go into another area when i'm ready to work again. i'm very lucky in that my hubby has his own, very successful business and brings in enough money for us both. if he didn't i would work again in teacher. the only problem with supply work is that you can't plan out your day or plan when the kids need to be in nursery and it would cost me a fortune to put them into nursery the amount they would need to be in just in case i got a call.
i hope things get better for you and i would certainly suggest a visit to the doc for a sick note even if you only get it and use it for a couple of weeks.
Hi leeds, hope u dont mind me posting.
I really feel for you as there is nothing worse than hating going in to work, u feel sick at the thought of it etc. I know its easier said than done when people say u should have words with your employer as im not a confronatational person either and you feel no matter what u say or do will make things worse but you really can't carry on like this. you need support and your not getting it. I was like this in a previous job and never spoke up for myself or when i did i was always put down so didnt feel good enough which eats away at u. In the end i walked out of my job as i couldnt take it any longer. I was panicin like crazy in case i couldnt find another job etc but i did. Have u tried lookin elsewhere just in case?maybe u should have a trip to the docs and have a few weeks off so u can gather ur thoughts and decide on the pro's and cons??
Hope it works out for u leeds.
I really feel for you as there is nothing worse than hating going in to work, u feel sick at the thought of it etc. I know its easier said than done when people say u should have words with your employer as im not a confronatational person either and you feel no matter what u say or do will make things worse but you really can't carry on like this. you need support and your not getting it. I was like this in a previous job and never spoke up for myself or when i did i was always put down so didnt feel good enough which eats away at u. In the end i walked out of my job as i couldnt take it any longer. I was panicin like crazy in case i couldnt find another job etc but i did. Have u tried lookin elsewhere just in case?maybe u should have a trip to the docs and have a few weeks off so u can gather ur thoughts and decide on the pro's and cons??
Hope it works out for u leeds.
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Hello Leeds, I am so sorry you feel like this as you can tell I am going through hell at work too. I contacted HR last week as they are trying to change my hours without considering my disabilty, I'm ok to do the change but not in the way they want it. I've been there twelve years and following a restructure this year I hardly recognise the place. Already my chest is tightening at the thought of tomo.
I am afraid I can't offer alot but I can be here to catch up with each other. I also think writing to HR will help as writing it down does empty your head for a bit and after all you do have rights.. I read that somewhere !!! lol.. well at least writing to HR gives you the opportunity to exercise those rights.
AND Mrs.. if your a big fat failure what am I
let's not look at it that way let's say we are a work in progress to being absolutley fabulous
I am afraid I can't offer alot but I can be here to catch up with each other. I also think writing to HR will help as writing it down does empty your head for a bit and after all you do have rights.. I read that somewhere !!! lol.. well at least writing to HR gives you the opportunity to exercise those rights.
AND Mrs.. if your a big fat failure what am I
let's not look at it that way let's say we are a work in progress to being absolutley fabulous 
great things
Gold Member
leeds you are not a failure at all. you've lost so much of your weight this year and have done a better job than me at keeping it off. you are a lovely person and i bet you are a fantastic friend in 'real' life. the stress of your job is just jading your view of yourself. it seems to me that you are very low down and as a result you are bashing yourself; your self esteem needs raising. you need some praise at work and to be backed up. why not do a higher plan rather than aiming low and after new year get focused and battle the rest off as a new year resolution. we'll be here for you no matter what you want to do. however, remember above all else that you have done a fantastic job at loosing the majority of your weight and you are not a failure at all.
i am on tablets for depression and it's been almost a week and i feel a bit better, still dodgy but a bit better as i know that i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. if i was at work then no doubt i'd be off on the sick.
just remember that a lesson is learnt every time you struggle with something. by going into battle you can make yourself a better person. whether you succeed or fail you will always get there in the end. my mum bought me a lovely door ornament. it says 'shoot for moon and even if you fail you will land amongst the stars!'
i am on tablets for depression and it's been almost a week and i feel a bit better, still dodgy but a bit better as i know that i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. if i was at work then no doubt i'd be off on the sick.
just remember that a lesson is learnt every time you struggle with something. by going into battle you can make yourself a better person. whether you succeed or fail you will always get there in the end. my mum bought me a lovely door ornament. it says 'shoot for moon and even if you fail you will land amongst the stars!'
Thankyou friends for cheering me up.
The snow is horrible. It's stupid that I can't get to work, my kids can't get to school and everything is shut just cos of snow! Needless to say I couldn't get to work so stayed in eating crap. Was stressed about not getting to work as know my boss will make a note of it. Going to try for a good cd day tmrw. Nikki you are right. Gonna try and maintain for acwhile then go for it in jan. Just not in the right head space at the moment. My body and brain are buzzing and whirring. It's horrible not being able to switch off and wind down. I feel kinda on speed. Don't know what's going on.
The snow is horrible. It's stupid that I can't get to work, my kids can't get to school and everything is shut just cos of snow! Needless to say I couldn't get to work so stayed in eating crap. Was stressed about not getting to work as know my boss will make a note of it. Going to try for a good cd day tmrw. Nikki you are right. Gonna try and maintain for acwhile then go for it in jan. Just not in the right head space at the moment. My body and brain are buzzing and whirring. It's horrible not being able to switch off and wind down. I feel kinda on speed. Don't know what's going on.
great things
Gold Member
are you on tablets cause this is how i am when i'm depressed. i become obsessive about things, among other things.
nikki, i'm not on anything. i wish i was sometimes. i just feel so wired and the smallest thing (ie, now i am worried about not getting to work and sending a doc which needed to go today) can make me buzz all day until i get a headache. its like i magnify everything and think so much and so hard that my brain cant cope.
i just cant switch off.
i just cant switch off.
Leeds you are NOT a failure!! Your thoughts are a bit clouded at the moment as you have got so much going on. I tend to worry about the smallest of things like you, always have a knot in my stomach, cant sleep etc and now im on anti- depressants. They really do help when you find one that suits you. Maybe you should ask the doc about them and have some much needed time off so they can take effect??
Hows the letter to HR coming along?
Hows the letter to HR coming along?
great things
Gold Member
think you would benefit by tablets hun.
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