My journey

[stacy87]

Started off as a great day today, when I lost 2.5lbs at my weigh-in, which means I hit my Xmas target of losing a stone!!

So that was great news! Mum had been out lastnight for her work Xmas night out, so was pretty worse for wear. We'd had it planned all week that we were putting our Xmas tree today, so I asked dad to go get the decorations from the attic. Well he point blank refused because he said he had a sore back! I really really don't like attics so always have to get someone to go up for me. But with dads excuse, mum hungover and my little brother still sleeping I had to either do it myself or wait until next week which just wasn't acceptable to me! So I traipsed (spelling ??) up to the attic, brought everything down (about 6 boxes!) and put them all up myself. Took me about 3 hours, but glad I got it up. Was really quite annoyed that no one helped me, as it's always been a family thing to put the decorations up

So that was the low point of today. I made up for it though by cooking dinner tonight.

Food for today: cereal, 2 slices toast for lunch, strawberry milk as snack, cup of tea and chocolate biscuit, mince with 3 scoops mashed potatoes and small piece of puff pastry for dinner, and a square of dark chocolate. I've drank about 4 1/2 glasses of water today.

Exercise: did my Cardio DVD tonight. Had quite a bit of pain in my left thigh though, so tried to take it easy!

 

[elm]

Yay congratulation on reaching your target!

 

[stacy87]

Thank you! This just my first big target-still more to lose but it's a good start!

I managed to get into work this morning-was a bit late as it started snowing on the way in. The snow stayed on and got heavier, so I only stayed at work for a couple of hours before attempting to go home. It took me 2 hours to get home! The roads were really really bad!! I was on my own, and was skidding and sliding all over the place! It was very scary and the worst I have driven in! I'm just glad I got home in one piece!

I'm off as a holiday tomorrow for my exam-which has now been cancelled! So I'm now going to help mum out and do some housework and get some studying done!!

Food for today: cereal, cereal bar (mid morning), small bowl of tomato soup with 1 slice of bread, had a packet of ready salted crisps as a snack (first packet of crisps for 6 weeks-and they were lovely!!), just had a cup of tea and a biscuit, and I'm having some fish with chips for dinner. I've drank about a litre of water today.

Exercise: none, as it's my rest day today

 

[stacy87]

Well today has been a total disaster! I was off today for my first written exam, but it was cancelled due to the weather, so I've spent all day on the couch studying!! I literally have been there from 9.30am until just before 5pm. We have like no food in the house since the shops aren't getting deliveries! So at lunch I ended up munching on 3 - yes 3!! - packets of crisps along with a chocolate biscuit and flake yoghurt after dinner! So it really hasn't been a good day, and I haven't really tracked exactly what I ate today.

I'm hoping to be back at work tomorrow, but am relying on the buses! So have a feeling I'll be waiting a loooong time on a bus in the morning. Really not looking forward to that.

I've also done a big fat zero exercise today. But I will be doing my core DVD tomorrow.

Hoping for a much better day all round tomorrow!!

 

[stacy87]

Sorry for not updating this for a few days - it's actually been a pretty crappy week all round :cry: Was off work sick again this week for a couple of days - was having really bad stomach pains. And my eating has gone completely to pot! I made it to our work Xmas night out lastnight, and again the food and drink was flowing well. I've just accepted the fact that my bad habits this past couple of weeks are down to not being at work, and not being in a routine again. It's amazing how much I rely on routine to get me through the day! So I am wiping a clean slate for tomorrow and will get back on the horse! I'm not sure if I want to weigh-in tomorrow, or whether to just keep going, and get back to my weigh-ins next week. What would you do? I know the scales aren't going to be showing a loss, and am pretty sure it's going to be a bad gain, and I don't know how I'll react if I see a big gain since it's been my own doing

Anyhoo, like I said, I am going to get back on track tomorrow. The snow has almost completely gone now, so I can get back to work as normal next week (well on Wednesday, since I'm on holiday Monday and Tuesday). I really want to get myself back on track for Christmas!

I was getting a few compliments lastnight though from other people I work with saying you can really see a difference in me - particularly my face. Why does it always seem to come from my face first! lol Why can't it come straight off the areas you actually want it to!

 

[elm]

Personally, I would still weigh myself to see how much damage I've done and when I feel crap for it, then that feeling will remind me next time not to eat junk food.

I would love for my face to get results first since I have a double chin and chubby cheeks but instead it shows results on my stomach area lol

 

[stacy87]

:break_diet: :cry:

Well after an awful run up to Christmas, I'm finally back on here admitting that the diet has gone completely out the window these past couple of weeks. I'm really ashamed of myself actually.

But starting tomorrow, I want to get back on track and into my previous routine so I can get the weight shifted again. I haven't weighed myself for a couple of weeks, but will start that again next week too. I really don't want all the hard work I did before to go to waste, so I hope I can get myself back to normal soon!

 

[stacy87]

I decided to be brave this morning and face the scales. I've actually gone up 1/2lb! I am now 181.5lbs. So that wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be! I had a feeling I would be back in the 13st range by now, so that was a bit of a surprise!

It's been a day of clearing out in our house! lol My little brother and his girlfriend were clearing out his wardrobe to make room for her clothes, my mum was clearing out the bathroom, dad was building furniture, and I ended up clearing out and sorting all the cupboards in the kitchen! Don't know why we decided to do that today, but we all just started doing it! lol

Food for today: cereal for breakfast, 1/2 pack of tortelloni (the Giovanni Rana pasta with a bolognese filling) with a small portion of my own bolognese and a glass of apple juice. 2 fingers of Time Out, Chinese for dinner (chicken fried rice and some chips) with a small glass of Pepsi. Not a great day food-wise, but one of the better days I've had for a while.

No exercise tonight.

We are planning on getting up early tomorrow to paint my little brothers room, which will take a while! I hate painting though, but it'll give me something to do! I get bored easily! lol

 

[Pink!]

Well that wasn't much of a gain, which is always good!
Hope you don't find it too hard to clamber back on the wagon!
Best wishes.

 

[stacy87]

Thanks Pink! It definitely wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be!

Today was a much better day overall for me! I felt that I had gotten back into the swing of things. I don't know if it's because I had things to do today, so I wasn't constantly thinking about food, but I'm still glad it went well. We ended up painting my little brothers room for about an hour in total today. It wasn't too strenuous, but it still got me active and moving.

Food for today: cereal for breakfast, one slice toast mid morning, tuna roll and a cereal bar for lunch with a cup of tea, one finger of Time Out, small piece of mince round with 3 mashed potatoes for dinner followed by an apple, 2 squares of chocolate with cup of tea. I've also drank 3 large glasses and 1 small glass of water today.

Exercise: Did my Fast Fat Burn DVD tonight.

I went food shopping today too and got some goodies and some fruit and veg for the next few days, so should be able to stick with it now!

 

[Pink!]

Stocking the fridge up with healthy stuff always helps! It's easier to resist temptation if it isn't there in the first place, lol.

I bow down to anyone who does fitness DVDs! I always feel too stupid, even though there's noone about.

HOpe that you have a good week

 

[stacy87]

Stocking the fridge up with healthy stuff always helps! It's easier to resist temptation if it isn't there in the first place, lol.

I bow down to anyone who does fitness DVDs! I always feel too stupid, even though there's noone about.

HOpe that you have a good week

That's so true! If you take away the temptation then it would be much easier - unfortunately I'm living with my parents and little brother and they are not exactly the healthiest of people! So we have crisps, biscuits and chocolate scattered round the house! I just have to try and forget that they're there though! lol

I like to warn my family first that I will doing my DVD's, so not to come in. That way I don't worry about someone waking in on me looking like a numpty! lol That puts me at ease when I'm doing them

Today has been a "meh!" day. I've actually been feeling pretty down today, a bit down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself. That's the problem when I'm not busy - I have more time to think about what I'm not happy with in my life, which seems to be a lot. I have sat in the diningroom and studied for my open learning course almost all day! I was about a week behind with my studying, so I've managed to get myself almost completely caught up.

How am I feeling about my weight loss journey so far - I'm not sure to be honest. Some days, I feel really good about myself and pretty confident with the weight that I have lost, but other days I still look in the mirror and just despise the sight of myself. I know it is going to take a while for the weight to come off, but I do sometimes wish that I could just change overnight!

It doesn't help that my family are the type of people who will say to me "should you really be eating that?" when I have a little slip - even just when I have one biscuit! Some of the people at work have been saying this too when they have a peek at what I'm eating for lunches, which does get to me! That's the main reason why I don't like telling people I know that I'm wanting to lose weight. I feel that people I know scrutinise me far too much. I just wish I had my own place where I could get away from it all sometimes you know? But I can't afford my own place, and don't know how long it will be before I can finally move out

Anyways, food for today: cereal, cheese toastie for lunch, one finger of Time Out with cup of tea mid afternoon, sausage roll, chips & beans for dinner, yoghurt, and I've drank about 4 1/2 large glasses of water and a small glass of fresh orange juice.

Exercise: None today.

 

[stacy87]

Unfortunately it's not been a very productive day today so there's not too much to report! lol

Did a bit studying this morning and was originally going to have a PJ day, but at about 2pm, I decided I was going to be brave and hit the sales! lol So off I went, and spent about 2 hours rummaging through the shops. In the end all I came home with was a new jacket (£69.50 down to £35 ), mascara and a nail file! lol

Food for today: cereal, cheese toastie and yoghurt for lunch with a cup of tea, 1 homemade hamburger roll with some chips for dinner. Drinks: 2 small glasses of fresh orange juice and 4 glasses of water.

Exercise: Resistance DVD for 25mins.

When I read back my food for today, I've actually eaten a lot less than I feel I did. I felt like I'd ate quite a bit today, but that actually isn't much is it?

 

[stacy87]

Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all the best for 2011

I've had another pretty lazy day today! Went food shopping this morning, and watched my dad building my little brothers wardrobe-yes, watched!! lol I did hold the doors occasionally and brought him pieces!

Tonight, there's no big parties or anything, so myself in the family are staying in, having a few drinks and playing Dance Central on Kinnect! So that should be fun!

So, food for today: cereal, custard cream with cup of tea, pasta with bolognese sauce, mini roll with cup of tea, Chinese for dinner (chicken fried rice & chips). I've also drank a small glass of pepsi and 2 large glasses of water.

Exercise: none yet, but the dancing game should count as something!! lol


Edited to add: my new years night consisted of 3 martini & lemonades and 1/2 a chicken finger roll! lol and I was knackered with the dancing game!

 

[stacy87]

Ah what a day it has been today. No hangover after lastnight since I only had three drinks in the house But, I didn't get much sleep lastnight, so I have been absolutely shattered today! This resulted in me not doing much at all for most of the day! We had a few family members and friends of the family round today, who were all drinking. I was very proud of myself that I stuck to my guns and stuck to drinking my dilutin juice all day! I finally managed to force myself to put my Christmas presents away A very sad time when they have to go away - I like looking at them! lol

Anyhoo, onto my food for today: cereal, 1 chocolate finger, small tin of spaghetti bolognese for lunch, saucer-sized portion of homemade stovies (mid afternoon), fish & chips for dinner, square of dark chocolate. I've drank about 6 glasses of water today.

Exercise: Did a few sit ups and cycling moves (don't actually know what they're called - lying on my back extending my legs like riding a bike) this morning, and did my Cardio DVD tonight.

I've got my first weighing since getting back on track, tomorrow morning and I'm really hoping I will have a loss!

 

[elm]

I always have to google what foods you eat since it interests me and we don't have them here haha

 

[stacy87]

I always have to google what foods you eat since it interests me and we don't have them here haha

hehe! Stovies are soooo yummy! Simply corned beef, potatoes and onions all put together and mashed up a bit - my Papa throws some spices in there too for a bit more flavour

 

[stacy87]

Ok, I've had another lazy day today! Stayed in my pjs all day but, I did manage to get myself up to date with my studying! I was about 2 weeks behind where I should be, but now I'm bang on track!

The day started off well with my weigh in. I lost the 2lbs that I gained over Christmas, so I'm back to 12st 11.5lbs and very happy about that!! I've set myself a target to lose 20lbs by May-not including my weight loss from today though. I'm so determined again to do this once and for all, and am very happy to have the support of my family this time.

Food for today: cereal, plate of stovies for lunch followed by a mini roll, beef with gravy, mash and veg for dinner, 1 square of chocolate. I've only drank about 4 small glasses of water today and had a small glass of lemonade with dinner.

Exercise: none yet. Going to do some exercises with my kettlebell soon though.

When it starts getting a bit warmer here, I'm going to start going swimming after work a few nights a week, so hopefully doing that with my DVDs, should really help me shift the weight!

 

[Pink!]

PJ days are the way forward! Lush!

Stovies sound minging, not gonna lie, but then I don't like corned beef, lol.

Gah! Studying! I should totally be doing that! Well done for catching up on yours!

OOO well done on the loss too! Good work

 

[stacy87]

PJ days are the way forward! Lush!

Stovies sound minging, not gonna lie, but then I don't like corned beef, lol.

Gah! Studying! I should totally be doing that! Well done for catching up on yours!

OOO well done on the loss too! Good work

hehe I used to hate stovies when I was younger, but I do enjoy a wee plate every now and again!

Thanks! And as for the studying, I've been behind for so long, but we have another exam next month, so I figured I should really use the time off to catch up! It's much easier said than done though lol



While I was trying to get to sleep lastnight some things were going round in my head. I was remembering the time when I was at my happiest, and when I was also slimmer.

It was when I was with my ex - something whichI try not to think about. :cry: We were together for 5 years, between 13 and 18. When I was about 14, I was probably at my happiest. I had been bullied in my first high school for being fat - but was nowhere near fat at the time. I met my ex at my second and last high school, where I was so much happier. With him, it was like nothing else mattered. I was always in a world of bliss when I was with him.

Anyway, I remember him being one of those people who could eat as much as he wanted and he would never gain weight. Because we were teens, we had no money to go out anywhere, so we ended up sitting in his house eating multi-packs of crisps. I think this is when my addiction to sweet foods stepped up! I loved (and still do love) the taste of crisps, so this really wasn't a good thing! I noticed my weight slowly increases as the years went by. By the time I went on holiday to Portugal with his family in 2002 my confidence was taking a serious beating. I absolutely hated the way I looked and he knew it. There would be times where I would sit in his room and cry looking at posters he had of girls posing with nice cars - you know the kind I mean! I knew I could never measure up to those girls, and that got me seriouslt depressed.

This depression over my weight continued until we broke up when I was 18. When he ended the relationship, it threw me into a worse state than I was when we were together. I believed that my weight was the reason why he fell out of love with me and spiralled into sever bingeing. I just ate constantly to try to stop the pain that I was feeling.

And now here I am, almost 6 years later, and still overweight. I've only just managed to set my mind to losing weight. Before, when I tried to lose weight, my mind wasn't 100% in it, and I always ended up failing.

I always used to blame him for making me eat all of that junk food when we were together, whereas now I can realise that he didn't make me eat those things - I am quite able to say no and resist, but I chose not to. No one did this to me, I did it to myself.

Anyway, I digress I guess I've finally accepted the fact that I am the only person who can change things. No one is going to come with a magic wand and take it all away. Hard work and dedication are the only things that will help me, and get me to where I want to be.

I will do an update later tonight with my food and exercise for the day, but just felt like I had to write this down and get it out of my mind for a bit.

Sorry for rabbiting on!