my weird ramblings

[sumayyah]

oh great were snowed in!

why is it this city cant get round to gritting the roads until after the major snow has hit?

cant get my car off the drive so madams dance class is out ( shes not been in 3 weeks now due to her poor health )
and school will be out next week if the roads havnt improved, no way can i drive 3 miles up and down massive hills in poor weather

am hoping the roads are clear by wednesday, my cdc is half an hour away out in the sticks so not a drive i can risk if its bad, last year i cried on my way back, had been fine going out but heavy snow while i was there led to several near misses on the way back which took me friggin hours
i have a weeks worth of extra shakes but after that no idea what i would do

 

[sumayyah]

well had an interesting walk this afternoon.
couldnt get the car onto the road due to the snow ( council finally gritted..... just the last few feet of the road, a nice f you ro those of us further up ) so i decided to walk about insted, geez its cold!

home again now well wapped up, have a hoody on over my outfit, look like im about to go rob the corner shop, lol

made a beef stew for madam tonight, she liked it, gone in minutes bless her. hopefully that will have her warmed up from the inside

 

[leeds123]

claire - you said in an earlier post that you wish you could back 18 months. why dont you? sometimes you have to do what you know makes you happy. ive read about your ex but there seems to be so much there you are holding on to.

hope you are doing ok today. i love your profile name - sumayyah. where did you get it?

 

[sumayyah]

my ex husband used to call me sumayyah and when i lived in northen ireland everyone took to calling me that too, i was in belfast still when i joined minimins so short of what i should use as a screen name i used that.

i refuse to answer to sumayyah these days as my ex husband was violent during my pregnancy and caused my daughters premature birth and subsequent disability

i sometimes think about changing my screen name but ive been here so long folks wouldnt recognise a new handle

i talk to my ex alot and weve both expressed a wish to go back to how it was but i just dont know if i could manage it

 

[determinator]

hey hun , been reading your diary and had to say hi With your ex , you need to do what feels right , dont even think about what other people would say / think , just go with your heart ( risky but usually the best ) . I often say never go back as there is a reason they are your past , but also if you never gave it a try you would always wonder if it could have been great I hope you work out what you want

 

[Goreygirl]

sometimes relationships survive and go onto be better after things like you went through but you have to be able to ask and answer the question "what's different this time" or else the same things that caused it to fail before will happen again.

My therapist used a great analogy the other day. He says there are 2 sides to a relationship street but you only get one brush.... and that brush can only be used to keep your own side of the street clean. Sweeping involves rigourous self honesty with yourself about your beliefs and actions. For a relationship to be healthy the other party also needs to be willing to sweep their side... if they are not willing to (take responsibility and accountability and show they are working on their dysfunction) then the odds aren't good.

 

[sumayyah]

well todays been a good day i think

behaved myself diet wise, 2 shakes down so far and 5 litres of water ( ive always been a big drinker, the reccomended amount leaves me dizzy and headachey )

cooked a roast dinner for madam, not tempted in the slightest today ( usually end up picking at the chicken )

ruddy freezing today thou, im dressed for the arctic as usual but have had to get a couple of blankets out as well

 

[sumayyah]

oh and tomorrow im going to track down the hallowed shred dvd

i wanna be a shreddie ( honey nut i think, lol )

 

[sumayyah]

aaaaaaaaand were snowed in again!

havnt been able to move the car since friday night, didnt look too bad was just lightly snowing when i got up this morning so started the preperations to take madam to school ( 3 miles and up and down 3 massive hills ) but 30 minutes later the road had disappearred under a thick drift of snow so left madam to have a lie in

looks like its plain water for me this week, i normally drink sparkling but no way i can get to one of the supermarkets

will also have to put off hunting down the shred dvd, might be able to order it online thou

 

[sumayyah]

yay so ive ordered the shred dvd, heres to a hopefully flatter tummy for christmas ( i have an awful double tum! )

 

[sumayyah]

lol well thats buggerred the plans

its snowed heavily all night here, definatly stuck now, i watched a car spend 20 minutes try to get started on the bottom of my bit of hill before he admitted defeat and slid off to park

looks like tomorrows weigh in is off the cards, my cdc lives half an hour from me out in the sticks and well my car just wont make that kind of drive ( couldnt get it off my road either right now anyway )

 

[determinator]

oh no will you have enough shakes to last you till it thaws a bit ??

 

[sumayyah]

yeah i always keep an extra week of shakes in for when madam decides she wants to have a stay at hotel nhs, i replaced the extra weeks supply just last week, glad i did as i was going to just get half of my extra week due to funds but that nagging voice told me i should get a full supply

hopefully by the end of the week it might have stopped and cleared enough to attempt the drive but i shant go holding my breath

 

[Goreygirl]

How's your little one doing now Claire? Has she recovered from the recent episode?

 

[sumayyah]

shes alright, could hear the stridor again yesterday and she was a little blue round her lips for a while but her respiratory rate was normal and she wasnt recessing, have seen her much worse.
just a waiting game now for the ENT referral

 

[sumayyah]

wow now thats alot of snow!

looked out this morning and thought my car had been stolen!
took me a moment to realise it was still there its just buried under all the snow
i left all my bottles of water in the car, am gonna have to dig to get them out, can that count as my daily exercise? lol

going to have to trek down to the shop to pay the gas and electric thou as the website for npower isnt loading grrrrrr

my poor sis is trying to walk to the supermarket, now why on earth when she knew its been snowing for the last 5 days did she wait until shes out of food to make the trip ( wasnt a money issue, shes doing alrite that way )

so another day stuck in the house and thank you kaya, shes shared her cold with me

 

[sumayyah]

urgh, feeling really yucky tonight, need decongestants, my sprays arnt doing the job at the mo, they usually keep things alright.
guess its a walk to the chemist tomorrow

 

[sumayyah]

aaaaaaaaaaand the snow fest continues!

still feeling grotty so definatly need to make the trek to the shop today
just cant face getting out of my pj's, lol

diet wise things are going fine, drinking between 5 and 6 litres a day and my 3 shakes so hopefully when i finally get to weigh in it will be a good one

 

[Felix]

Ooh we are snowed in too! Got sent home from work yesterday and I'm not even going to attempt to dig the car out today haha. Where abouts do you live?

 

[sumayyah]

im in sheffield ( out on the edges really ) i live on a hill and weve been stuck since last friday

saw the gritters today, they were using wheelbarrows to grit the bottom of our road but didnt bother trying to grit our hill bit of the road ( 3/4 of the road is up the hill ) so were not going anywhere, lol