Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Official weigh in puts me at 19st8lb!!!!! 5st 1lb lost!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!
Step 1 Sole Source New team HARDCORE HOTTIES!!!
- Thread starter Blubell._.0422
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Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Woo hoo, that's spectacular well done mrs!!!
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Thanks 
I don't feel very well :'( My throat is scratchy, my neck hurts, I ache, my lips and nose feel burny and my eyes watery I don't want to be poorly - I am going away on Thursday for 4 days on my own without Chloe and I really don't want to be poorly :'(
I don't feel very well :'( My throat is scratchy, my neck hurts, I ache, my lips and nose feel burny and my eyes watery
I don't want to be poorly - I am going away on Thursday for 4 days on my own without Chloe and I really don't want to be poorly :'(
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Urgh, feel rough! Spent most of the day in bed, really need to feel better before tomorrow! Hope you are getting on ok ladies? Need to get in the shower really, need to hang some washing up, need to start packing (and finish packing! Argh). Won't be on much the next few days while I am away, but will try and pop by and see how you are doing. I just mean don't worry if you don't hear from me - it's all good, I'm just busy
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Well went to martial arts and felt ok while I was there, then after we finished I came over all faint! Managed to get home ok thanks to a can of coke zero I had in the car. My own fault, I forgot to have a shake before I went.
Currently lounging on the sofa thinking about the fact I still need to pack, iron, some stuff, pack Chloe's stuff... and so much more I am sure. Then bed!
Currently lounging on the sofa thinking about the fact I still need to pack, iron, some stuff, pack Chloe's stuff... and so much more I am sure. Then bed!
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Sorry to hear you're both feeling rotten Hope you feel better soon!!!
I've actually had a fab day for a change! I managed to swap my Sunday night shift so I can go to my cousins baby's christening. And yesterday my friend who I went to Florida with told me they're going again in 2015, I was jealous but she said why don't we go too so I've had a chat with my brother and sister in law and we're going to go with them, so exciting! It could only be better if there was a Mr Sally to come with us. But we can't book up for a year yet so anything can happen in the meantime can't it?
It's nice to be feeling positive for a change, I just hope some of this positivity spills over into my diet!!
Hope you feel better soon!!!I've actually had a fab day for a change! I managed to swap my Sunday night shift so I can go to my cousins baby's christening. And yesterday my friend who I went to Florida with told me they're going again in 2015, I was jealous but she said why don't we go too so I've had a chat with my brother and sister in law and we're going to go with them, so exciting! It could only be better if there was a Mr Sally to come with us. But we can't book up for a year yet so anything can happen in the meantime can't it?
It's nice to be feeling positive for a change, I just hope some of this positivity spills over into my diet!!
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Know what you mean, but yes, a year is a long time and a lot can happen in that time! I am having a lonely patch again and wishing there was a Mr Cazza in my present! Think it is just because I am going away with friends who are hooked up, can't help but feel a little jealous! But then I remember my previous relationships and think that I just can't be bothered with all that hassle! Lol! I would love to go to Florida, and will do one day *sigh*
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
See I find myself in the same situation, I want another half, but my last relationship just ended, unexpectedly no reason given.... Ash just called it quits! I have no idea why, I've told myself its him not me but I'm not entirely convinced. I worry now that if I get involved again and allow myself to fall for someone again that it'll end the same way. I kinda wish Ash had explained, or that I'd pressed him for an explanation but I was so stunned I was just like "Well fcuk you!!"
I know I shouldn't avoid getting involved because I'm scared of getting hurt again, but I'm finding that the older I get, the harder it is to get over the hurt. When I was younger I just thought "whatever" and moved on but I don't know how much more of it I can handle. I hate the mind games too, why do men have to Fcuk about with your head? Why can't they just admit their feelings?? Frustrating.
I know I shouldn't avoid getting involved because I'm scared of getting hurt again, but I'm finding that the older I get, the harder it is to get over the hurt. When I was younger I just thought "whatever" and moved on but I don't know how much more of it I can handle. I hate the mind games too, why do men have to Fcuk about with your head? Why can't they just admit their feelings?? Frustrating.
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Yup completely agree, although I have been the dumpee in my last 3 relationships. Chloe's dad I fell head over heels for. He was (and probably still is) a manipulative barsteward and he messed with my head massively. I ended that relationship too, but such was his hold over me that I waited for him to go to work, packed all my stuff and left. I knew it was the only way of getting out. After that I looked for someone who was very much opposite to him, and ended up dating men who had far stronger feelings for me than I ever had for them. Not something I am proud of, but it was I guess very much my way of protecting myself from getting so hurt again, but ultimately did not prove healthy either! I guess part of me believes I am just too messed up to ever have a healthy, normal relationship!!! But hey, the world is going to end imminently if the North Koreans have their way, so all irrelevant anyway.
I am absolutely terrified. Seriously beyond sh!t scared, at the prospect of what may be about to happen on the North Korea front. I know it is stupid, I mean there is bugger all I can do about it! But it fills me with total fear and dread to the point I feel so sick I could actually vomit. Sometimes the internet and social media has a lot to answer - I would love to be completely ignorant of everything going on. I am coping by indulging myself with watching Levellers Best Live: Headlights, White Lines, Black Tar Rivers DVD and pretending it is 1996 again, whilst waiting for the sleeping tablet to make me sufficiently tired enough to sleep.
I am absolutely terrified. Seriously beyond sh!t scared, at the prospect of what may be about to happen on the North Korea front. I know it is stupid, I mean there is bugger all I can do about it! But it fills me with total fear and dread to the point I feel so sick I could actually vomit. Sometimes the internet and social media has a lot to answer - I would love to be completely ignorant of everything going on. I am coping by indulging myself with watching Levellers Best Live: Headlights, White Lines, Black Tar Rivers DVD and pretending it is 1996 again, whilst waiting for the sleeping tablet to make me sufficiently tired enough to sleep.
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Hmm... I appear to have accidentally bought (and worn, twice now!) a size 10 top from DP. I was sure it was a size 16, and it fits me comfortably, which makes no sense! Weird...
Still feel crap, hardly slept last night (combination of feeling poorly and excitement). Having a lot of "lady pains" this morning - only on day 10 of cycle and doesn't feel like ov. pains. Grr. Ohhh but weighed myself this morning and I am 2lb down this week! Fully intend to stay on plan this weekend, yet there is still this small part of me who would like to go nuts and get very drunk! We shall see, if I do decide to drink it means I will have to eat also - bah. Can't win
Still feel crap, hardly slept last night (combination of feeling poorly and excitement). Having a lot of "lady pains" this morning - only on day 10 of cycle and doesn't feel like ov. pains. Grr. Ohhh but weighed myself this morning and I am 2lb down this week! Fully intend to stay on plan this weekend, yet there is still this small part of me who would like to go nuts and get very drunk! We shall see, if I do decide to drink it means I will have to eat also - bah. Can't win
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Ha. I knew my buzz wouldn't last, woke up this morning with a puffy red eye. I've been straight to the drop in centre because I was positive it's conjunctivitis. Which it is boo. I thought I might have to stay off work tomorrow but apparently as soon as I start taking the antibiotic drops I'm fine to work. It just means no contact lenses for a few days grr.
boo. I thought I might have to stay off work tomorrow but apparently as soon as I start taking the antibiotic drops I'm fine to work. It just means no contact lenses for a few days grr.
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
My fat stingy red sore eye :cry:
I refuse to walk around without make up on so I have make up for my normal eye and make up for my grotty eye.
I hope this clears up before Sunday, I don't want to look like a leper in the family photos mind it'll make a change to avoiding photos because I'm a blob.
I refuse to walk around without make up on so I have make up for my normal eye and make up for my grotty eye.
I hope this clears up before Sunday, I don't want to look like a leper in the family photos
mind it'll make a change to avoiding photos because I'm a blob.
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Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Ouch Sal, looks sore
Grumpy Cazza this morning. Shouldn't have come away, only serving to remind me just how alone I am. Seem to be only person with their own room, everyone else is in couples or sharing with friends. Which means I will no doubt be going to breakfast (omelette and mushrooms) alone too, sticking out like a sore thumb. Feeling very self conscious and stupid my best friend here just doesn't understand, how could she? She has been with her boyfriend 13 years now.
Feeling very vulnerable and pathetic.
Grumpy Cazza this morning. Shouldn't have come away, only serving to remind me just how alone I am. Seem to be only person with their own room, everyone else is in couples or sharing with friends. Which means I will no doubt be going to breakfast (omelette and mushrooms) alone too, sticking out like a sore thumb. Feeling very self conscious and stupid
my best friend here just doesn't understand, how could she? She has been with her boyfriend 13 years now.Feeling very vulnerable and pathetic.
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Well as I expected I got sent home from work! My line manager took one look at my eye and frog marched me to occy health despite me insisting the nurse practitioner said I was ok to come to work today. Ha ha I love hospital policy sometimes. Ours states you have to have been having treatment for conjunctivitis for 48 hours before you can return to work. Oh dear what a shame, I skipped off home quite happily, long weekend for me yay! Especially as my eye looks tons better than it was
I know exactly what you mean Cazza, I'm going to feel like that on Sunday at the christening. Apart from the freaky cousin (who isn't invited because of the family feud) I'm the only single one. So theres bound to be a few comments about when I'll be settling down etc. not looking forward to that! Also it's the first big family function (not counting Christmas) without my grandma, so it'll be hard.
I know exactly what you mean Cazza, I'm going to feel like that on Sunday at the christening. Apart from the freaky cousin (who isn't invited because of the family feud) I'm the only single one. So theres bound to be a few comments about when I'll be settling down etc. not looking forward to that! Also it's the first big family function (not counting Christmas) without my grandma, so it'll be hard.
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Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Well I am currently hiding in my room sobbing over a cup of coffee because, quite literally, nobody wants to play with me. Then I realise how bloody pathetic I am which makes me cry more.
I shouldn't have come. I should have just stayed at home. At least then I could be being pathetic in my own bed rather than a sh!tty hotel one.
Need to snap out of this. Only plus side is it has destroyed my appetite. I just don't feel like I matter to anyone at all right now. Wonder if anyone has noticed I have even gone?!?! Might just stay in my room until they do, or until check out Sunday morning, whichever comes first.
I shouldn't have come. I should have just stayed at home. At least then I could be being pathetic in my own bed rather than a sh!tty hotel one.
Need to snap out of this. Only plus side is it has destroyed my appetite. I just don't feel like I matter to anyone at all right now. Wonder if anyone has noticed I have even gone?!?! Might just stay in my room until they do, or until check out Sunday morning, whichever comes first.
Lily
Gold Member
Oh Caz, I'm so sorry - I've only just seen this.
Big big big hug :hug99: You're a fantastic, wonderful person and if they don't see that they don't deserve to have you play with them. Please don't let this get to you.
Sooo hope things got better x x x
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
Yup things got much better. Just after my self indulgent rant my friends came to get me. All good from then on. Had real food last night and too much to drink! Hungover now... Bleurgh. But straight back on it
Surfhunny
Laugh in the face of food
Oh Cazza I felt so bad just reading your post from Friday. I haven't been on over the weekend. Sorry. I'm glad things turned out better than you thought they were going to. It's a Sh!tty horrible feeling so I'm glad you've enjoyed it in the end!!
I've been to my cousins baby's christening today, I'm absolutely shattered. Set off at 6am to get to Wrexham in time! I'm laid on my bed feeling quite ill I ate far far too much, as usual my family over catered. I wouldn't care but they're all skinny, there's only me my other cousin who are inflicted with the fatty gene - unfair!! Now my belly is hurting, I'm constipated and all the food I've troughed today had made it hurt something awful. Serves me right!!!
But back on it from now and the way I feel now I never want to eat again so I'd be glad to crack on again. I'm off to drink a ton of Movicol to help with my bunged up tum!
so I'm glad you've enjoyed it in the end!!I've been to my cousins baby's christening today, I'm absolutely shattered. Set off at 6am to get to Wrexham in time! I'm laid on my bed feeling quite ill
I ate far far too much, as usual my family over catered. I wouldn't care but they're all skinny, there's only me my other cousin who are inflicted with the fatty gene - unfair!! Now my belly is hurting, I'm constipated and all the food I've troughed today had made it hurt something awful. Serves me right!!! But back on it from now and the way I feel now I never want to eat again so I'd be glad to crack on again. I'm off to drink a ton of Movicol to help with my bunged up tum!
Starlit_Cazza
Restart 3/9/2013
I feel the same - ended up eating today too, Cambridge just does not provide the right nutrients to fix a hangover! In seriousness though I had a very long drive to contend with followed by my belt grading in Choi. I didn't go nuts, in fact I was very restrained considering, but bloody hell do I feel rough now too - tummy ache, back ache, liver and gall bladder are not happy in the slightest and I am also bunged up Back on the wagon tomorrow - back at work and will be hangover free, so absolutely no excuses whatsoever, plus I am not happy in the slightest with my figure having seen pics of myself over the weekend, and that is after losing 5stone! But in my eyes I am still the giant heffalump in the room, and evidence seems to suggest this is still very much the case.
Am in bed with my electric blanket aching like anything! Still got the dregs of a hangover (on the plus side I have drunk a LOT of water today!) and I am covered in bruises and pulled muscles! Urgh. Back to work tomorrow - yay (boo)
Back on the wagon tomorrow - back at work and will be hangover free, so absolutely no excuses whatsoever, plus I am not happy in the slightest with my figure having seen pics of myself over the weekend, and that is after losing 5stone! But in my eyes I am still the giant heffalump in the room, and evidence seems to suggest this is still very much the case.Am in bed with my electric blanket aching like anything! Still got the dregs of a hangover (on the plus side I have drunk a LOT of water today!) and I am covered in bruises and pulled muscles! Urgh. Back to work tomorrow - yay (boo)
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