NEWBE WANTING HELP

[curiousmum]

Hi Guys & Girls

I am now at my most heaviest & want to lose weight for my sake & my kids before it it too late. Mum of 4 who was a little overweight since I had my 4th, however a lot of negative things have happened since then. O

One thing after another after another. I just seem to eat & not care if I live or die sometimes. Went to WW 2 yrs ago lost 1 1/2 stone in 6 months, then they closed for xmas hols. I put the weight back on & more & haven't been back since. Work 5 days a week at school & single mum of 4 who wants to do something about it. This morning I had the left over homemade beetroot choco cake!!. It's like I don't care about life, how I look, what I eat. Had a very lonely childhood & was bullied a lot at school when I was younger, so I don't have the confidence to see things through, after having good intentions initially. My Dad who I adored passed away 6 months ago, when I use to hug him, the world seemed manageable My Mum always treated med less than my brothers, especially my eldest cois he was 1st born.

However my pride & joy have been my kids. Eldest 3 all went to Grammar school, 1st has just started a top Uni, 2nd hopefully depending on exams has place at Oxford Uni after offer. 3rd also is at Grammar school & my 4th & youngest at primary is on the Gifted & Talented reg for English & is in the extended Maths Group. She's a keen pianist & has just got a distinction for Ballet level 2. However, I want to be able to do something positive for me for me. I feel I want to shout out for help, so here it goes & I hope you don't mind......HEEEELP MEEEE PLEEESE, someone?!! Anyone?!!

Help me please

 

[Llamasoks]

Firstly, I'm just going to send you a huge mental hug! I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, but you aren't alone, and it will get better.

I think unfortunately it's a vicious cycle with feeling low and eating, the more you eat, the worse you feel, the worse you feel, the more you eat. You're less likely to dress yourself up, do things you enjoy or go out if you don't feel good about yourself, but by not doing things for you, you end up feeling worse. The important thing is to try, and you're here, that's the first step.

Are you sure it's weight loss you need to feel better? I know for me it's really the root of all my issues, but if you think there might be other things, I'd recommend talking to a GP and getting some help.
The good thing is if it's weight loss you're concerned about, this is a great place to be, and it sounds like you have 4 absolutely brilliant children to encourage you along.

You sound like an absolutely brilliant Mother.

I find SW easier than other diets from an emotional eating point of view, because it gives you room to eat right but treat yourself, I so hope you can build up your confidence and learn to love yourself at any size.

You didn't put in your post how much you weigh or are looking to lose, I hope you don't mind me asking? If you're not comfortable sharing that's fine, but sometimes think it helps to let people know your goals so they can help.

If you need to talk, MiniMins is a great support network.
X

 

[steph1212]

Hi
Sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds like you've had a really tough time but by posting on here and writing down your inner most thoughts and feelings, you're obviously at a stage where you want to do something about it. The above post is an achievement in itself.

Your children are an absolute credit to you- you've obviously brought them up very well and they're all doing fantastically well. Now it's your time to do something for you!

Slimming world is a great programme for people who want to turn things around and this forum is great for meeting like-minded people. Starting a new plan can be daunting but when you get into the swing of things, it's honestly great to have some 'me' time. Whether it's an hour to attend class, an hour to cook a meal or an hour to trawl through the forums to find ideas or chat to people, it's an hour of time that your dedicate to yourself, your health and your mental well being.

We are all here to support you and any questions you have, feel free to ask!! X

 

[curiousmum]

Hi there my friend. Thank you for your quick response & encouraging comments, so very kind of you. Actually made an appointment with my GP Friday week about possible depression as well which may be the cause of feeling worthless; rooted back to my youth & how to deal with life's trials & obstacles.

I weighed 15 1/2 stone before I worked the school kitchen as it works around the school run & school hols. Now however I have tipped at just over 16 1/2 I have all the healthy foods in my house but feel happier with a cheese & salad sandwich then the cooked from scratch meals I make. None of my kids are overweight but know, I'm not being a great role model when it comes to weight control.

 

[Llamasoks]

Oh Hun, you're making steps in the right direction, and that's great.

Some people on here have started at much higher weights, and though that might not be much comfort, it does help you see that people have lost a hell of a lot on SW, it is possible and that means you can lose some too.
How much are you looking to lose?
The good thing with SW is that you can still have a cheese and salad sandwich, you really only need to make small changes with it to see a positive change, and it gets easier and your tastes differ the longer you've done it. A cheese salad sandwich made with wholemeal bread would be your 2 Healthy Extras and some superfree - which is a pretty good thing.

What are some of your go to food weaknesses? Maybe we can give you some ideas to tweak them?
I know when I started my enemy was Chinese takeaway - but you can make the things you fancy fairly simply.

Honestly, it sounds like you've been a great role model for your children, they'd not have turned out as well as they have if you hadn't have been.
X

 

[curiousmum]

Hi, 2 stone is my goal & once reached just another stone taking me to about 13 1/2. I'm 5ft 8" so fairly tall. I'm a size 20!! And want to be a size 16 at the most. I still got my size 12 clothes from good old Marks & Spencers which I've never worn. So I was slim once but life stresses have taken it's toll!

 

[Llamasoks]

Oh we've all been there, I used to be a size 8! Life unfortunately makes us all turn to something comforting at times, even if it's not food - it's veer easy to see how people get addicted to things.
Are you doing a food diary on here or just keeping tracks yourself?
X

 

[babycake]

I want to wish you all the luck in the world with your journey. Tell the world to go do one!!! You are doing a great job with your kids and they are going to be even more proud of you when they see you at goal and smiling from ear to ear

xxxx

 

[mo53]

Hello curiousmum, Ive just read through all the posts for this thread which you started. Im so glad you have made an appointment with your doctor . It will be a good idea to seek their help and advice. You sound as though you need some tlc. How often do something which you want to do? rather than need to or have to or are doing it for someone else. Even if if its only 30 mins a day try and do something You want to do...... have a bubble bath...... read a book.... go for a walk.... whatever.
Im glad youve joined this site . Its brilliant! there are so many kind and supportive people. You can tell by the fantastic responses you have had so far from steph and llamasoks

 

[curiousmum]

Hi, got caught up on the phone. Thank you all for your generous support, advice & time that you have given me. A zillion blessings to you all. I have not started a dairy or anything of the kind. I shall from now!!! I need to love myself and not think I am less than anybody else. The thing is I'm always there for my Mum because I love her dearly. I know she will always favour my brother over me which led me always to believe that I was not as good as, as used to compare him to me when we were younger. I still love her with all my heart & nothing less.