nzmegs - Maintenance Diary

[weasey]

I read through the first half of your post thinking 'she needs a new goal' and the second half thinking 'hooray - she's got one!'

A few of your phases in your post worried me.

Tomorrow i am off to my class again. I am in two minds about whether to even bother going. I won't be buying any packs and I feel like it is a bit of a waste of my morning. ...

...

I suppose I feel as though I just want to get out there and enjoy being free of the weight and free of my addictions. ...

... it just isn't exciting anymore. ... losing constantly was such a buzz and that feeling has gone. Now it is simply the ho hum of maintaining. it is pretty boring to be honest. ...

.....

I don't know you and I have no way of knowing whether my impression is correct but if I were to imagine saying these phrases to myself I know that I would be having crooked thoughts. In talking to a number of LL returners the 'I thought I could do it on my own' phrase is oft repeated. Now Obviously the aim is to get to a point whe you can do that but the question is whether that is now. Only you know the answer to that. As long as you continue to weigh in front of your LLC... Is there absolutely no way you could get to the maintenance class? It sounds like talking about things wi people at the same stage would be the most useful thing for you now. Have you considering posting more on the LL maintenance forum for support? It's a little livelier now.

 

[nzmegs]

Thanks Weasey - you are always the voice of reason. You are right they were certainly crooked thoughts and simply an excuse I was making. Getting to class has always been an issue for me. I don't drive and either walk (1 hour and 20 mins) each way or I take the bus. it is OK but I am self employed and it really cuts into my working day. But having talked it over with my husband (another voice of reason) I have agreed that as long a I don't have to pay for the session, I should keep going. Clearly that makes sense.

People do often say that they thought they could do it alone. But many of these haven't done maintenance. There must come a point when people step back into the big bad world and go it alone. LL can't be there for ever. or maybe they can. I know people who go to WW every week for years after they reach their goal.

Maybe i should become a LL franchisee and then I would have that continual support!

Yep, a goal is definitely a good thing. I recommend that when you reach your target, weasey, you aim for something new as well. The feeling of maintaining can be demotivating sometimes. Although on days like to day when I slip into my size 12 capri pants and my size 8 (!) vest I think Wow it was all worth it!

 

[nzmegs]

Weasey, I just noticed - you and I are the same height and weight right now. You have done so well and are an inspiration. Not only that but you are full of great advice, bother here and over on the LL site. many thanks. Just 3 pounds to go until you reach your goal. You might even be there by next week!

 

[weasey]

Thanks nzmegs! I know that maintenance is going to be the hard bit - up to now I found it relatively easy but as the boundaries are taken away in RTM it's going to be tough for me I think. Sharing thoughts online is a really useful way for me to sort out my brain - it's easier to analyse someone else's behaviour and then think 'hmmm, I do that too...' than to see it in myself straight away!

There are a number of vocal people on the LL forum who are within a few lbs of goal and the maintenance forum has already gotten busier. I'm hopeful we can get some good discussions going on there. I hate their forum technology but if that's where the people are...

I'm self employed too so I understand your frustration with the whole morning being spent on LL. I often have to do a pop in at a different time from my class in order to fit in with my work diary. But - once in RTM I don't want to do that - I'm going to need all the support I can get!

 

[nzmegs]

I found out yesterday that my counsellor is one of the nice ones who isn't going to charge for maintenance people to attend meetings. So, panic over. I can go as often as I like. Which I think will be weekly for the time being.

 

[nzmegs]

I have a weekend away this coming weekend and will be trying to lose 2-3 pounds before I go. I have actually been trying for the last two weeks, but my body seems a little too happy at my current weight. I haven't done anything drastic, but cutting carbs and calories by a small amount wasn't quite enough to get my weight down. So starting today, I am doing 4 days of total to get me there. I deally i would have done it slowly over a couple of weeks, but it wasn't to be.

I don't want to rely on packs everytime i want to lose a little bit of weight, but the feeling that I can slot back into the old routine is actually very comforting. I am not losing the extra weight to make me feel or look better - it is simply so that i can have a weekend away entirely without guilt or the dreaded increase in weight which often comes from lots of drinking and eating.As of next week i will be back to the same old routine.

My counsellor really wanted me to try and lose this 2-3 pounds in my own way. I tried, but failed. I wonder why? I think my body has found a set point which it likes (for now) and it needs a real change of routine to get things moving again. Also my appetite had been increasing. I was keeping carbs very low, but eating more calories. I found it hard to cut back on those without having a clear plan to stick to. next time I want to do this I hope to have a fall back diet - consisting of normal foods - but maybe the same each day so I can feel confident with my plan.

I don't feel as though resorting to packs is wrong in any way. it is a useful tool in my overall arsenal to keep me where I want to be. I think it is a great thing to be thinking ahead and losing weight in preparation for a big weekend rather than worrying about it afterwards. I know from experience that I will find it hard to lose after the event. Plus, losing a few pounds now will mean I feel fantastic for the event.

I think that this is what LL is all about. it is there to keep you at your goal beyond the diet. People use all sorts of methods to maintain their weight and having packs which are full of the right nutrients must be a healthy way to do it.

 

[weasey]

I think it's hugely positive that you are looking to lose weight before the event - rather than lose any excess after! It's like saving up for a holiday verses getting it on credit. It's definitely something I want to do once I'm in maintenance. As to being able to lose weight - I think you'd need to devise rules for yourself to do it with conventional food. It's perhaps a bit early to do that at the moment though! You're still learning how to maintain. One skill set at a time.

 

[nzmegs]

Had my weigh in yesterday and bought enough packs to last for a few days. it was surprisingly easy to stick to my four packs yesterday. I felt slightly hungry, but it felt more like I was returning to an old friend. It was a familiar routine, familiar flavours and it felt like something I could do forever. Are Lighter Life products addictive - or is the feeling of being in control and losing weight which is the addictive part?
being on maintenance and eating your own foods, while empowering is actually scary and often you go wrong. it is easy to put things right, but with LL you never go wrong as long as you follow the rules. That takes away responsibility and that feels nice and comforting. You know you are getting the right nutrients and that you will lose weight. the perfect combination.
Anyway, my expectation is that by friday I will have lost 2-3 pounds. This will put me at about 10 stone - although I admit that seeing that 9 stone come up on my scales would be amazing. I don't think I have ever seen that. Of course following our weekend away, I expect to be back up at my usual weight and that is something I will have to accept.
I wonder if successful maintenance requires a certain degree of obsession? I have refused to take my eye off the ball and am very careful about what i will and will not eat. I read labels, weigh portions, count carbs and calories and avoid all sugars. is this obsessive or is it exactly what we should all be doing?
In our society, poor foods (such as those laced with sugar and hidden carbs) are at every turn. Nothing you buy which is processed, even slightly, is free from sugar or some sort of chemical concoction. So to avoid it, we all have to learn about what we are willing to put in our bodies. it requires obsession because 99% of the food choices we have in the UK are poor food choices. Finding that 1% takes dedication. Telling yourself that you can eat a moderate diet consisting of all foods once you return to normal food is dead wrong.You can't.
You absolutely must educate yourself and learn to filter out all of those added sugars, chemicals, trans fats, colours and flavours which manufacturers use in their products to encourage us to eat them in excess. thinking you can beat that and just exercise moderation is so wrong. it has to be another form of abstinence. Maintenance is just another form of abstinence and if you think otherwise you should not be doing LL at all. You will fail to keep the weight off. Don't kid yourself that you can have total control while eating sugary/carby foods - it won't happen.
LL teaches you how to avoid those foods which made you fat and you cannot return to them. Don't let yourself down and your months of hard work by letting those foods win once your LL journey is over.
Yes this weekend i am going away and yes i will eat more than usual. But I will not eat sugar (no desserts for me), I will not eat carbs (no potatoes, bread, pasta or rice) and I will stick to the lowest carb alcohol possible (dry white wine). I will still have an amazing time.

 

[Spanglymum]

Yes - absolutely!! I've realised the hard way that constant vigilance is what's required. I think the idea is that eventually, after practising it for long enough, it becomes unconscious competence... (and therefore effortless). But as you say, the environment in which we find ourselves doesn't make that easy.

I think what I need are easy rules - a bit like the simplicity and certainty of LL. So things like 'no processed foods' - cuts out all the label reading in one fell swoop. Whole foods. (but I know I need to steer clear of snacks from the local health food store as they're just as processed as anything, with lots of sugar, fat and salt in! Might be based on nuts but there the nutrition ends!)

Eat mostly vegetables from above the ground, is another one.

I've also heard avoiding peanuts and other legumes is a good idea.. But I'm pondering that one. Partly because I love peanuts and also because I'm not ready to believe that beans and lentils are actually bad for me... mind you, I used to believe whole grains were a good idea, so...

Sorry. This has turned into a ramble! You've given me food for thought. Sorry for all the food talk btw while we're in abstinence!

 

[weasey]

I've been on lite for the last few months and am loving eat fish and salad (or sometimes meat and occasionally I cook the veg). I know you are veggie and would need a protein substitute. I don't see any reason to change this when I get into maintenance. I cooked dinner for my hubby last night (seabass and salad) and we both thououghly enjoyed it. I know it's all good for me - I know what has gone into it - I know it's low in carbs and so good for my blood sugar. When I go out to eat I have steak and salad. Am thinking that the traditional 'meat and two veg' approach might be spot on - but without the potatoes!

 

[nzmegs]

hey Weasey - I was a vege. I quickly realised that maintenance was going to be very hard indeed without eating meat. So I have returned to it. Unfortunately and i am ashamed to say it - looking good was more important to me!!

 

[nzmegs]

Spangly - my rules are like this:

Nothing processed - this includes processed meats for the most part.
Any vegetable grown above the ground
Nothing with wheat/flour
Nothing low fat
Less than 1 carb per 100gms - eat freely
Between 1-5 carbs per 100 grams - eat in moderation (check portions)
Between 5-10 carbs per 100 grams- eat occasionally in small quantities (This includes nuts)
Above 10 carbs - avoid
Aim for 30 grams of protein per meal and less than 20 grams of carbs per meal. eat four meals a day following these rules.
Eat plenty of fat
Aim for half your plate as veges and half as protein/fat. (don't forget that protein can be laid down as fat too if eaten to excess)
Walk daily and get plenty of sunshine
Be mindful of calories. They do count - but you don't have to count them

Just in case the nutrition police get on my back for offering nutrition advice - this is my own diet an I am not recommending it to anyone unless they consult their doc first...

I hope that helps you spangly. I have been living by these rules and my weight has stayed steady. it works for me and hopefully will for you too.

 

[weasey]

hey Weasey - I was a vege. I quickly realised that maintenance was going to be very hard indeed without eating meat. So I have returned to it. Unfortunately and i am ashamed to say it - looking good was more important to me!!

Ah - I didn't realise that. I have also stopped being veggie. It took me a while to stop feeling guilty about it. For me it is about the health - I have chosen my health above the lives of animals. It's hard when being veggie was core to who I was for over 20 years - it was the right decision for me though.

 

[nzmegs]

it is amazing how many people who are vegetarian are actually very unhealthy. it is a shame. getting your diet right when not eating meat is very tricky. Other carnivores don't feel guilt about eating other animals. the fact is we were designed to eat meat. If we choose not to for various reasons it doesn't always suit us. I had to be honest and admit that i chose to stop eating meat because i felt it would help me lose weight. I actually put weight on. it was something to cling to. People thought I was soooo healthy - but really I was a sugar rollercoaster.

I watched about five minutes of "secret eaters" this evening. I just about screamed. They were questioning the diet of people in the house who couldn't understand why they had put on weight. Clearly they ate and drank all the wrong things in high quantities. That bit was obvious. But the presenter was then going on about the fat content and calories of all the foods they ate. She talked about the butter he put on his TWO jacket potatoes - but not about the carb content in his meal.

it made me so angry that people are watching this and thinking to themselves - "I don't eat butter, I eat low fat yoghurt, I never have takeaways and I use skimmed milk - why am I fat too?". the answer will never occur to them because not one doctor in this country is willing to tell their patients to cut out sugar and most carbs. Programs like the one tonight are perpetuating the obesity problem and they think they are doing the right thing. I have no idea what should be done about it either - that is the sad thing.

I guess just one person at a time - but when I tell people how I lost weight and what my diet consists of now they think I am a crackpot with faddy food ideas. You would think that the proof was in the pudding, but people don't want to believe it because it means giving up the things they are addicted to. They prefer the idea that they can still have their favourite foods as long as they go running or cut back a bit the next day.

oh dear - rant over...

 

[Spanglymum]

You know you offered to write on my blog? Well it would be fab if you'd write up something based on what you've just said. I totally totally agree with you and it makes me angry and sad too. I was thinking the same thing the other day, watching supersize vs super skinny. Ok so the larger person lost weight - but they were almost certainly eating fewer carbs than before, which was the real reason the regime worked.

(and kudos to you on admitting re the vegetarian diet motivation. I had the same motivation in my late teens, but it backfired very quickly. I didn't know then that carbs were a problem for me - but saw the results of dropping meat from my diet very fast. I only stuck it out for a year!)

 

[nzmegs]

Today is the start of my weekend away and i made it to my goal of getting to 10stone. Saw the 9 st 13.5 come up on the scales but it quickly flicked up to 10 st - oh well. But it is bitter sweet because my body fat has shot up from 29% to 32%. This means that what I have lost this week is pretty much pure muscle...
Now in the past this wouldn't have worried me, but what i know is that muscle has been lost and that over the weekend when I eat more than usual, I will put on fat. Unless I am willing to exercise significantly and that is not going to happen. So next week will need lots of walking to build up that muscle again.
I am also feeling pretty bloated, which I think is from relying on the packs (or most likely the bars) again. I realised that there are things in the packs which may not agree with my tummy. Certainly milk lactose and maybe some wheat. I have even had some dried fruit this morning to try and help relieve the old digestive issues. A first for me.
So I now know that resorting to packs might not have bee the best option. If 10 stone was the weight I wanted to be I should have got there myself. If I want to lose weight in the future i need to find a food based way of doing it.

 

[zombiegirl]

It is great that you are still learning what works for you though, very encouraging to see that you are maintaining successful even if it is with a little trial and error.

 

[nzmegs]

Thanks Zombie. My tummy woes eased over the weekend and I am feeling better now.
I have weighed myself this morning to see what the weekend away did for me. I was at 10st 2 and my body fat had dropped to 30%. We did lots of walking and i was careful about what i ate. never felt like I was denying myself though. I had plenty of protein, a few drinks and a good cooked breakfast. No desserts, bread or carbs. I had a chicken pie and actually removed the pie crust. I had tapas which was meat only and some vegetables.

My one disapponitment was at an All Bar One restaurant. I asked for a gin and slimline tonic. The drink came with the bottle of tonic for me to pour in myself, so I was able to read the ingredients. When i asked for it, I said i wanted "sugar free" tonic water. She said "oh, yes, slimline".The tonic was by a company called "fever tree" and was described on the label as being "lite". I thought - great that will be fine. But it wasn't. The label proudly declared that it had no sugar - just natural fruit sugars!!! listed on the ingredients was fructose. What on earth do they think we are...stupid??
I read on to the carb count which was 4.8 per 100ml. The bottle was 200ml. So that was more than 9 grams for one drink. At this point I made the decision to drink it because the rest of my meal was very low in carbs and overall I would be OK. But I certainly couldn't have had another one.
The bar staff obviously have no clue when it comes to sugar free drinks and the manufacturers are trying to pull a fast one. made me mad!

Anyway, other than that - a good weekend away. I will post a photo soon of my slinky outfit!

 

[nzmegs]

it is a couple of days after my weekend away and I am still holding on to the weight loss I achieved before I left. I actually think that i could have gone away and not even lost weight before i went and still managed to stay the same. This is the power of a low carb diet.
Today I have eaten an iced chocolate coffee made with a choc Atkins shake, a shot of espresso, a tablespoon of peanut butter, plenty of ice all whizzed up in the blender and topped with sugar free thick squirty cream. Obviously this filled me up until the afternoon (at 450 calories I am not surprised). if that breakfast had been a bowl of cereal and two slices of toast the calorie count would have been the same and I would have been starving two hours later. As it was I ate again about 5 hours after breakfast.
My afternoon snack was a chicken "sandwich". This means two slices of cooked chicken breast with three slices of salami in between. Yum. Dinner will be four sausages and a huge serving of broccoli with butter on.
My daily calories are about 1200 - but that is not important. What is important is the carb count - around 18 grams. Easily ketogenic - yet incredibly filling satisfying and delicious.

This is the way i have been eating for weeks. it is the way I ate while away with my husband - but I just allowed the restaurant to make my food. I trusted that choosing meat based dishes would be enough to keep me on the straight and narrow and it was. My husband ate desserts and i watched him. I considered getting the cheese plate - but I was full...I did have another glass of wine though!

I have no desire for sweet foods and actually - if I accidently have a small amount of something sweet in my food, I can tell immediately. it is like when you have had your tea or coffee without sugar for years and someone puts two teaspoons in. You spit it out and think it is disgusting. Imagine feeling that way about cake or chocolate.All it takes is training yourself to appreciate the natural sweetness in vegetables or even in some meats. seriously - fat tastes sweet to me. is that crazy? cream is especially sweet due to the lactose, I suppose.

I wonder how long this may last. Is it really going to be a case of putting the weight back on slowly over the next few months. Why does that happen to most people who lose weight? I am sure that all of them vow never to put the weight back on and most of them come up with a plan which they think will allow them to maintain. Am I kidding myself? Is my plan doomed to fail?

I really hope not because I eat differently to everyone I know and I am being watched by all of them to see how it pans out. Some think I am damaging my body (despite feeling amazing!) and others think I am obsessed (that might be true) but I think most of them wish they could do it too and just don't know how to approach it. I have to prove that this works in the long term or my offering advice is going to be somewhat hollow.

Speaking of giving advice, I find it really hard to tell people about my diet - even now. I get the roll of the eyes, the talk about the importance of whole grains and questions about my fibre and calcium intake. I am always asked when I will be stopping and eating "normally" - like eating that way was really good for me. Don't ya think?

Recently someone I know told me that they were going low carb - they vowed to cut out bread and pasta because it made them feel bad. But I know for a fact they ate rice recently and that potatoes are still on the menu.Do people just not understand what low carb means or do they really think that they can get away with eating these foods and still lose weight. The next thing i will hear is "oh, low carb doesn't work for me...". Funny that.

Anyway, this lack of knowledge really annoys me. We spend more on food each month than any other expenditure apart from mortgages, yet we have the smallest amount of nutritional education. We know more about finding the best interest rate than we do about what are the right foods to put in our bodies. if the government came along and told us where to invest our money we would tell them to take a flying leap. Yet we trust that the government is giving us the right advice about our food - despite a poor track record.What about personal responsibility, knowing what is right and teaching that to our children. If you don't care or fail to do this you are letting yourself down and failing your family. read some books, question the low fat mantra and work out what works for you. I guarantee that low fat foods are not right for keeping off weight - but hey, who listens to me? Not when we have the food pyramid to keep us well informed!

 

[nzmegs]

I am off to a client meeting today...this makes me feel very anxious. The thing is that i deal with all of my clients either over the phone or via email. It keeps things simple and easy 0 besides they are usually in other parts of the country. However, my client is visiting another client (who is also my client....confused?) which happens to be where i live. So I am meeting both sets of clients at the one venue. I feel like i look right. I don't have any office type clothes - so i am wearing a tea-dress with black tights and a cardigan. With high heel ankle boots. It is pouring with rain and I am catching the bus/walking. I don't drive, so it is important i don't turn up bedraggled. I will have my umbrella.#

This is the first time i have done anything remotely "officey" for three years. I am sure i can hold my own and I think they just want to put a face to the name rather than ask me any hard questions. But even so, it is nerve wracking.

One of the clients is a marketing company based in London - they want someone to organise events and deal with their clients. So, it is more than the usual writing of reports and press releases (although they want this too). So I need to be presentable, in case I ever need to put in a physical appearance when doing these tasks.

Having lost weight, I do feel better about the way I look. Doesn't stop the nerves though. it feels like a job interview.