People's reaction to me losing weight

[vj]

It was fab today when my male boss said " I don't mean to be personal but...um... you are looking more slender recently". He has NEVER said anything about my appearance before and he has known me through a variety of hairstyles and pregnancy. It made me smile because it was an awkward comment for him and made me feel great on a Monday morning.
I can't believe some physical reactions other posters have had, how can people be so rude?

 

[Jubbly]

People have been nothing but nice to me - I'm so lucky. Everyone knows I'm on it though so I feel some people feel obliged to comment, esp when down the pub cos drinking water tends to draw attention!! Actually as I write this, I have just handed round cakes for my last day at work and everyone started discussing how well I've done on my weight loss. I don't mind, it please me. One woman though (note, the only big one) said I had to be careful to not put it all on again. But it's true I suppose. A few said don't lose anymore. The best thing though is when people say something and they don't know you're on a diet. My landlord has said I look fantastic and he asked my boyfriend yesterday if Trinny and Susannah had been round to restyle me (don't know quite what he's saying about previous dress sense though!!).

 

[chicken on a mission]

Has anyone else found that people feel more able to take liberties with what they will ask you?

It reminds me of when I was pregnant and so many people felt they had the god given right to touch my tummy. How rude!

Now they feel they have the god given right to ask questions that you wouldn't even consider asking somebody normally like, how much do you weigh, how much have you lost, what size are you, what are your measurements...

Luckilly I have never minded sharing and these people then wish that they had never bought the subject up. Make em suffer I say

 

[magickmel]

Oh Yes ! Indeedy ! I would never ask anyone how much they weigh. Even in my LL group we don't know and I trust them !

I have an answer to the question though now whic is - "Why do you feel that you need to know that ?" which is usually very off-putting and then they can't think of a reason coz they would have to admit to being curious.

 

[kazz]

If anyone asked me how much i'd lost (you know....when it actually looks like I've lost weight!!) I dont know wat I'd say!! I'd like to think I could smile sweetly & tell them to mind their own business.....but I probably couldnt be that nice about it!! This is my weight, my business and the amount I lose will have nothing to do with randomers!!

 

[dizzy-n-mizzy]

I too think it's really rude when people ask you how much you've lost. Almost as rude as asking how much you weigh.

I usually say, quite a bit how much do you think? They usually guess about half and I tell them how good they are at guessing!

It depends who it is though. If it's someone who has a weight problem themself and are interested because they want advice I'm more honest.

As time goes on I'm getting more confident with dealing with it too.

Dizzy x

Mizzy loves telling people everything how much he weighed how much he's lost etc etc etc He's a diet bore actually!

 

[KD]

Other adults noticed when I had lost about 3 stone.

The funniest comments I received were from my class. They said nothing until I had lost 5 stone, then one day a boy did a double take.

Boy 1: Miss...you're different
Me: Well yes...we all know that
Boy 1: Yes but you look different. Have you changed your hair?
All class look at me and start discussing how I was even more different than the norm
Boy 2: You've got earrings in
Girl 1: No she hasn't
Then they discuss how he could have possibly thought I had earrings in when I didn't
Boy 1: You've lost weight!!

They all look shocked, but then agree

Boy 2: When did you do that? Last night?



Apart from that, I have to say that I felt a little uncomfortable when people mentioned it. Often they didn't...but you could see their eyes moving up and down.

The nicest compliment came from a friend. I asked her if she had noticed and she commented that she hadn't really.

I was still me...no change

Made my day that did Okay, she could have been a bit more concerned about the health aspect, but then not many people get very excited when I tell them the hours I spend at the gym

 

[cah-ching]

Comments on my weight? I hate hate hate them. Whether I'm losing or gaining.

For as long as I've had breath, people have commented on my weight, in the main, to tell me how fat I am. I'll see friends of my parents whom I barely know and they'll be saying how "big" I am or feel they can pass comment on how "fat" I am. For years I put up with it, these virtual strangers being able to say what they did because my mother expected me to. It wasn't the done thing for me to back-chat the respected elders (or what i would term as pulling them up on their comments). Nowadays I don't care - I tell them! So when people give a running commentary on any weight loss that gets my back up too, because I think they'd be the first to whisper or comment on any weight gain. I just find unsolicited comments so rude! (even though some weight loss comments are meant in good faith - I've conditioned myself not to like them either)

Cheers,

 

[Jubbly]

One woman in the office used to yell every week after WI across everyone's desks "so how much have you lost now then Clare?". My response would then have to be yelled back as she was walking towards the door. I don't mind telling people who ask but don't want everyone to know. Grrr.

 

[Shimsham]

lol at Karion!
Some v. similar things happened to me with my class too, they were the only peolpe I would forgive for it too!!

Chicken,
i too was appalled that my personal info became such 'public property'! You are quite right that it's not normal for people without weight problems to be asked their weight! How dare they think I had no emotions attached to this!

Jeanie x

 

[ayembee]

One woman I know said 'what size do you intend to get down to?'
I said ' don't really know maybe a 10 or a 12'
she said ' no, some people are not made to be that small'
I said ' well all my sisters are 10's and 12's and I was once upon a time too'
she looked me up and down and said 'nah' then turned her back on me and carried on with her work!!!!!
I fumed about her comments all day then just let it go because the only way to shut people up is to prove them wrong and do it.

 

[magickmel]

Flipping heck, how bloomin rude. Gggrrr, some people are unbelievable aren't they? I would have fumed too but glad you got past that and turned it into a positive.

 

[Mini]

I often think of the woman who said to me about nine years ago that I should accept that I was not meant to be slim when I was telling her I was on a diet

...I protested and said....but! I use to be 8 stone.... she looked me up and down and said, I was such a fat jolly person that she just could not imagine me any other way

I want to be a slim jolly person

Mind you there have been times I felt doomed to be fat for the rest of my life....



Love Mini xxx

 

[CheekyMare]

I can think of one particular woman who, every time I'd put on about 7lbs she would say "are you gaining weight?". She said this several times and I challenged her rudeness one day (she is, by the way, like a stick insect) and she said, "well, I tell it as it is" I have lost 24 lbs so far, in 6 weeks, and this woman who "tells it as it is" hasn't said a word! I am fuming!

 

[cah-ching]

Why do we put up with the crap I've heard on this thread?! Makes me so angry.

As for

One woman I know said 'what size do you intend to get down to?'
I said ' don't really know maybe a 10 or a 12'
she said ' no, some people are not made to be that small'
I said ' well all my sisters are 10's and 12's and I was once upon a time too'
she looked me up and down and said 'nah' then turned her back on me and carried on with her work!!!!!

It really does say a whole lot about her and her insecurity in knowing:
1) you are a focused strong willed person
2) she knows you look better and there's more to come

Your success only mirrors her lack of success in her own life. Your acheivements pain her and anyone else for that matter, so what they do is project their pain onto you. It's not your problem though.

I can think of one particular woman who, every time I'd put on about 7lbs she would say "are you gaining weight?". She said this several times and I challenged her rudeness one day (she is, by the way, like a stick insect) and she said, "well, I tell it as it is" I have lost 24 lbs so far, in 6 weeks, and this woman who "tells it as it is" hasn't said a word! I am fuming!

I wonder if she'd like someone to turn around and tell her "how it is". The truth hurts and I'm sure she isn't perfect.

Secondly Anji, don't you dare qualify or validate yourself with her opinions. What she says and thinks doesn't count and is of no importance to you.

 

[i'lldoit]

Rude Women,Jelouse.................hummmmmmmm

You show her you can do it prove her wrong !!xx​

A doctor once said to me You'll never be tiny your not built that way !!!!ha!!!! it was the 1st time he met me and I always was 'tiny' until PSOD got me x Some people hey!

XXC

 

[Stardreamer]

I think that at last my sister is beginnig to notice!! She cant quite put her finger on it yet but she did say today "oh you look really well is it your hair or make up?" I felt like saying "no I have lost a stone in weight and this skirt that you saw me in a couple of weeks ago is no longer tight and riding up to my chest but very loose!!" I know my time will come!
I am going to try and not see her for the next couple of weeks!! I cant wait for people to notice!! I know that its sad!!
xx

 

[kazz]

Theres a girl in my job who has been away for about a month....when I was talking to her today, she kept looking me up and down bt didnt say anything about me losing weight (hello...my work clothes are practically hanging off me!!) Then again, she is a lot bigger than I was even before I started, but I could tell she noticed something, just didnt want to say anything....that doesnt bother me...as long as shes not talking about me behind my back!

 

[dizzy-n-mizzy]

My weight hasn't changed a lot over the last month or so but one of the mums from school who hasn't commented until know saw me in Tesco yesterday and was stunned. I had taken off my coat in the restaurant and was walking around in my slim fit clothes. She was almost speechless and checked that I had intended to lose the weight before telling me how good I looked. She was so shocked she could hardly spit the words out. I was touched, I don't normally like the attention but as she was so obviously sincere and hadn't noticed before I was pleased. She is probably the mum at school that I most admire her style she is tall like me and slim and wears the same style clothes that I love and feel comfortable in but couldn't wear when I was bigger.

Although I still found it a little embarassing I feel pleased that the difference is that stunning.

We didn't have long to chat so it will be interesting to see if she brings it up again when I see her next.

Dizzy x

 

[g1981]

i think someone mentioned earlier about a person who is quick to tell them they have put on weight but tightlipped when they have lost weight.

Well that describes my situation!! I have a collegue who likes to tell me that I look like I have put on weight (she does it in a 'gentle' way as in whisper to me, "I want to tell you something, you wont like it, but you look like you have put on weight"

however...now when I see her, i see her do a quick look up and down and focus on my belly. She has never mentioned that I have lost weight. Ive lost a stone, so its not that obvious, but there is a difference as many others have commented.
She used to be slim but recenlty had a baby. She has a bit of the belly left over and so prob feels self conscious. So I never say anything! Or mention that im on a diet.