Poogatch's Diary - Day 13 Mrs P's Birthday :D

[poogatch]

Once again the hunger strikes

Was trying to remember back to when I did CD if the hunger ever went away and I honestly don't remember. I'm assuming it did, or atleast to an extent, but I also remember still having moments of hunger well into the diet or atleast I think I remember them hehe.

I wish I'd have written a diary back then, would have made an interesting read if only for myself right now

£300 pounds worth of jewellery from urban male turned up today wooop . Mrs P won it for me in a competition on facebook (she's a bit of a competition fiend while on maternity leave to pass the time, has won all manner of things!). So I now have some bits to go with the ever slimmer body hehe

 

[Kes]

well done on the free stuff.... i can never be bothered to get into trying to win things....

i tried the banana exante this morning. and i quite liked it!
i dont know why as i dont normally like anything banna!!!! lol

i hope the hunger goes away.... as im trying to think that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

 

[poogatch]

Yeah I didn't mind the banana and I hate banana milkshakes

How you getting on Kes?

I'm starting to feel really weak if I'm honest, a little bit faint :/ Only really come on in the last 40 minutes but really don't feel great at all.

 

[babystar31]

yay for free stuff!! a bit of bling for mr poogatch

i also LOVE the banana...think its prob now my fave shake and i dont like banana. i cant eat proper bananas....and i hate banana milkshake! weird!!

 

[Kes]

im feeling fine... got to stop chomping on little things when i get the kids dinner ready..... but going ok....
got my pack yest (as i have already said)
looking forward to getting weighed on monday to be honest... lol... i want to know (i hate this whole no scale hopping thing... doing my head in!)

im desperately trying to find a cdc.... my one hasnt even called to see if im ok....
but i think i have found one who is on the way out and one who is on the way in (so i can get cheaper stock as she wants to sell it off) and then do the proper formal stuff with the new lady.. so thats good.
i dont think i could do the diet if it wasnt for some of the packs that i like (mainly the porridge ones....)

 

[poogatch]

I really hate the porridge hehe, the texture is awesome but blurghhhhhhhhhhh. They taste so salty to me I REALLY wish I did like them for the texture but I just couldn't handle it

 

[Kes]

Most people that I've read don't like the porridge.. I love it.. I've not found one that I really dislike yet... so that's good..

I like salty things so maybe that's why... I used to hate it... its amazing How your tastebuds change..

How is the weekend going...

 

[poogatch]

Been trying to decide whether I should post here or not, but I shouldn't hide my faults that's partly why I started this thing in the first place!

I've been finding it REALLY hard ever since our trip to my parents to get my head back into the zone. Eating and still losing, the holiday for which we will be taking a break from the diet for getting ever closer etc. We both caved in again this weekend, we managed to avoid the chippy and the hot bun shop in the town (the smells, arghhh) but a trip to tesco was just too much to handle after the will power reserves had been drained earlier, stupid fresh bread smells and the deli counter!.

It's like we talk ourselves into it, the holiday is close blah blah, stupid head demons! I'm noticing a pattern as well, day 3! everytime it's happened its been day 3 of getting back on it.

It's her birthday tomorrow as well, another part of the problem "it's your birthday, we should enjoy it not dieting". But if we carry on like this there's allways going to be a reason to not do it and the more we do it the more of a problem it's going to be to overcome.

So I need to prove to myself this is the right course of action, even if the holiday is only 10 days away, my parents are visiting next weekend and it's her birthday tomorrow!

Everyday counts, everyday adds time on to my life to share with my daughters! All I'm doing is substituting time with my girls for some food, what kind of a deal is that?!?

Sorry about this, I'm allways downplaying the cheating as "educated choices" so that I feel less of a failure, like I'm better than anyone else who cheats and then moans about it and how they feel terrible about it but it's time to be all cliche and "wake up and smell the coffee".

Just because I've talked myself into it with "logic" does not make it any less of a failure!

I need to make it more real for myself! Remind myself of the reasons I'm losing weight and why it's so important that I do it. Don't be an idiot and think anything else! *slaps self*

I think the rants over now Again sorry about that but it needed to come out and be said so I can read it again when I need to.

 

[poogatch]

Should do an update for today aswell I guess

I've not had a shake at all so far, didn't have time this morning so brought one into work with me. UNfortunately theres nothing in the kitchen big enough to blend it in! Nor is there any measuring stuff for the water. So looks like I'll be waiting it out until I get home haha, oh well!

Managed to avoid the sandwich van or temptation of eating anything because of the no shake situation, I've got to be serious about this if I'm going to do it, it's too bleeding expensive to do half arsed

Hope you're all well today x

 

[JoanneM]

Cant give you any advice as you already know the answers so just wanted to say you are doing really well. Birthdays will be there next year. So definitely not worth ruining things for.

 

[Toots]

Happens to the best of us but PLEASE do not class it as a failure - you only fail if you give up trying.

10 days til your holidays? 7lbs on or 7lbs off - that's the way I think of it. In girl terms that's a dress size

Good luck, you'll get there

xxxx

 

[Kes]

I'm sorry that you feel like you are not doing so Well. Like what is said above 7lbs off isbetter than 7lbs on before your hols
Well done on resisting then sandwich van

 

[babystar31]

Well u know what, weve all been there...but in saying that i think youve come to the important realisation that making excuses about it we are only cheating ourselves and tricking our minds. Ive done the whole "im gonna eat cos ive had a lot going on" or "its my mums bday and im gonna eat at the meal".....and no matter what people say u always feel justified because youve ok'd it with yourself.....make sense? I came to the realisation that me having a lot going on isnt cured with a pizza, or my mums not gonna have a bettr birthday if i eat chinese and cake.

No one said it was going to be easy and i totally sympathise cos ive been there so many times. This is my 3rd attempt at exante. I ordered 2 months supply about 2 months ago....yet i still have almost that full amount left. If id stuck to it from the word go i could have shifted a good few stone....instead i lost 17lbs first attempt, put most of it back on and here we go again!

People will always say "dont beat yourself up about it"....whereas i think it helps when ppl are a bit harsh..makes u see things different.

We can do this....its all a matter of mind over matter. Its not easy...but its been done. I look at Bren as an inspiration (her testimonial is on the exante website and she comes on here too)....her story is amazing, and makes me see its totally possible if u put ur mind to it!

Anyway good luck with getting back on track and were always here xxx

 

[GetFitGirl]

Really sympathise with you, Poogatch. I think you have to be really selective about the events you choose to break your diet for. A one-off is fine, but it's probably easy to slip back into comfortable old habits if you make it too often.

Grit your teeth and remember what you said in your post:

Everyday counts, everyday adds time on to my life to share with my daughters! All I'm doing is substituting time with my girls for some food, what kind of a deal is that?!?

Wise words. Let yourself enjoy your girls while they are young enough to appreciate it.

Keep on track

 

[poogatch]

Well, managed to get through yesterday unscathed

The odd pang of hunger, and waiting until 6pm for my first shake was interesting haha. Only managed to get 2 shakes down me though (naughty I know), just couldn't manage 3 in the space of 3 hours!

Feel fine this morning, cheeky weigh in this morning showed I was back to my post week 1 weight so if there's any glycogen left in me from the nightmare weekend I should hopefully see some kind of loss tomorrow for my official WI

Hope you're all well today x

 

[colly strings]

could working solution be better for you mr p? if abstinence isnt for you and you're finding it tough then perhaps the intro of the meal would keep you on track

 

[poogatch]

I've considerd it, but I'm not giving up on TS just yet

I did CD sole source for 7 weeks without a hitch, I didn't even stop because I couldn't do it anymore either. So I know I'm easily capable of pulling this off

 

[poogatch]

Forgot to mention today is Mrs P's birthday, she doesn't read this but I'll say it anyway

Happy Birthday Darling! xxx

I joked with her I'll make her a muffin in a microwave as a cake replacement with a candle in haha.

Going to be strange not "celebrating" a birthday with copius amounts of food, it's strange how "celebrating" and unhealthy eating are automatically linked for us (and I imagine most other people out there) but we are determined it's not going to be another excuse for us!

Survived the sandwich van this morning, probably the hardest part of my day at work these days. Pasties, burgers, sausages and everything else under the sun wafted under my nose! I've probably mentioned the darn thing a million times before on here but the smells are so hard to ignore!

I survived anyway so woooop

 

[Kes]

Happy birthday Mrs p.

 

[Dietkitty]

Save the birthday meal until you're on holiday and eating anyway. Happy birthday Mrs P
I was going to post a stern ticking off for you both yesterday but then felt you were doing that yourself.
Hope you both have a good day.