sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
Good luck lovely. Everything crossed for you xx
Pregnancy and Baby Advice Thread: From Conception to Birth, and Beyond!
- Thread starter PrincessPeach
- Start date
Good luck lovely. Everything crossed for you xx
shenzi
Gold Member
Hi ladies,
Well they will make there decision tomorrow on whether I will require a section for various reasons, or whether they will leave me and let me give birth naturally,
If they say all is ok and you can go naturally, I'm not ready, I don't know what's coming, I've had no Braxton hicks nothing to prepare my body or mind for half the pain that's coming and I'm scared, I know I shouldn't complain as I've had a relatively easy pregnancy I just hope labour is the same but I highly doubt it, I am sh!tting myself!! Excuse the language!
Well they will make there decision tomorrow on whether I will require a section for various reasons, or whether they will leave me and let me give birth naturally,
If they say all is ok and you can go naturally, I'm not ready, I don't know what's coming, I've had no Braxton hicks nothing to prepare my body or mind for half the pain that's coming and I'm scared, I know I shouldn't complain as I've had a relatively easy pregnancy I just hope labour is the same but I highly doubt it, I am sh!tting myself!! Excuse the language!
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PrincessPeach
Pregnant with Baby No 2!
Big hugs hun x I wish there was something I could say to stop you from feeling scared, but honestly? There probably isn't (from my experience) anything I could say x going through labour for the first time IS scary - there's no denying that. It's the unknown, you know it's going to be painful and I suppose plans can change with the click of your fingers so I don't blame you - I was scared too x
What I will say though is that your a woman, your built to do this, you WILL be ok whatever happens and there is a fab team of people looking after us women and our babies throughout the whole thing. There is pain relief available if you want/need it, and different birthing options (pool etc) if you can have it/want to have it. I know a fair few of us on here have had our "traumas" let's say, which is probably scary for any preggie lady on here as it no doubt seems like it's all horrible and frightening - it can be, but there are also some wonderful parts to our stories too - and one thing us girls all have in common is that our babies and us were absolutely fine. That's all that matters.
I know this probably doesn't help in the slightest, I just wanted to say that you'll be alright. Once you are in labour try and focus on the fact that it means your baby girl is coming
it will help you through it xxBig hugs, and wishing you a happy, lovely labour xxxxxxxxxxx
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
I had nothing at all either, no Braxton hicks or anything. With me being induced at 38 weeks I felt like I missed out on all the 'is this it?' feelings. But then once I finally went into labour it was just a natural thing and I knew what to do. I'm absolutely useless with pain but I was updating on here at 10cm so can't be that bad
haha. Joking aside, it's a pain I actually enjoyed. It sounds silly but I knew I was on the way to meeting our baby and nothing was more important that. I used to hate it when people said things like that but it's honestly true. You never know what's coming in labour though so I'd just say to relax as much as you can beforehand and be open minded to anything. I would have loved a water birth but because I was induced by drip and had to have an insulin drip throughout labour it would never have happened so wasn't even discussed. My labour was quite clinical but I honestly didn't care. The best thing is to stay calm, which is easier said and done, but we laughed and joked a lot which made things easier. You'll be fab xxx
PrincessPeach
Pregnant with Baby No 2!
My reply is below Shenzi - I'm sure the others will be more than willing to offer lots of support/awesome labour vibes too
Xxx
Hi girls,
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out of writing this down, all I know is that I need to get it off my chest. I'm really upset and hurt.
You don't need to reply, I'd much rather everyone skip this probably silly post, and help our Shenzi x
I feel like I have really disappointed my husband.
Amelia is 2 weeks and 2 days old today, and since she was born, despite being totally fantastic with her, in love with her, and helpful etc - there has been a few throw away comments that I can't get out of my head about my labour.
You may have read my birth story so if you did, you'll know I was induced etc - took 2 days and on early hours of third day after days of contractions, I finally went into established labour. At about 4-5am I was 4cm and in absolute agony. Never felt pain like it - completely took over my whole body and the gas and air just didn't take it away enough for me to feel I could cope. I was nackered after no sleep, and could tell with each contraction I was panicking and getting more scared. My breathing was out of control (wasn't OBEM style where they breathe nice and slow through it) I was rapidly panting and tensing up because I couldn't cope with the pain. I ended up having an epidural.
The MW at the time said she thought I was coping, but I really didn't feel like I was. Goodbye waterbirth, hello Epi. After Amelia was born, John told me the midwife said to him and my mum that she thought it was way too early for me to be having an epidural, and he thought the same. I tried to explain why I went for the epidural when I did but of course, he will never fully understand the pain I was in.
Since then, there's been the odd "throw-away" comment that he was 'disappointed' I didn't cope with the pain well, and has joked that I was a bit of a 'pussy'.
To be honest, this makes me cry every time I think about it. It makes me feel so sh*t to think I've disappointed him. I sit here and I now think maybe I could have coped? I hate the thought that the MW, my mum, John - anyone - were thinking that I was crap, or that they were disappointed in me having the epidural.
I just feel hurt we watched OBEM and all the women on there seem to cope. One girl got to 7cms on her own before even having gas and air and I had to have G&A just to have examinations at 1-2cms dilated ffs!!! I just feel less of a woman and really crap about myself for not coping
Sorry, this is so pointless. Just needed to get it off my chest xxx
Xxx
Hi girls,
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out of writing this down, all I know is that I need to get it off my chest. I'm really upset and hurt.
You don't need to reply, I'd much rather everyone skip this probably silly post, and help our Shenzi x
I feel like I have really disappointed my husband.
Amelia is 2 weeks and 2 days old today, and since she was born, despite being totally fantastic with her, in love with her, and helpful etc - there has been a few throw away comments that I can't get out of my head about my labour.
You may have read my birth story so if you did, you'll know I was induced etc - took 2 days and on early hours of third day after days of contractions, I finally went into established labour. At about 4-5am I was 4cm and in absolute agony. Never felt pain like it - completely took over my whole body and the gas and air just didn't take it away enough for me to feel I could cope. I was nackered after no sleep, and could tell with each contraction I was panicking and getting more scared. My breathing was out of control (wasn't OBEM style where they breathe nice and slow through it) I was rapidly panting and tensing up because I couldn't cope with the pain. I ended up having an epidural.
The MW at the time said she thought I was coping, but I really didn't feel like I was. Goodbye waterbirth, hello Epi. After Amelia was born, John told me the midwife said to him and my mum that she thought it was way too early for me to be having an epidural, and he thought the same. I tried to explain why I went for the epidural when I did but of course, he will never fully understand the pain I was in.
Since then, there's been the odd "throw-away" comment that he was 'disappointed' I didn't cope with the pain well, and has joked that I was a bit of a 'pussy'.
To be honest, this makes me cry every time I think about it. It makes me feel so sh*t to think I've disappointed him. I sit here and I now think maybe I could have coped? I hate the thought that the MW, my mum, John - anyone - were thinking that I was crap, or that they were disappointed in me having the epidural.
I just feel hurt
we watched OBEM and all the women on there seem to cope. One girl got to 7cms on her own before even having gas and air and I had to have G&A just to have examinations at 1-2cms dilated ffs!!! I just feel less of a woman and really crap about myself for not coping Sorry, this is so pointless. Just needed to get it off my chest xxx
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
Honestly hun do not panic. I'm not gona lie n say its easy r u won't care once it's over (u wont but u don't care about that until its actually over!!) but it's not half as bad as I'd imagined it would be!! Ok I got an epidural, but so can u...honestly I imagined it to the worst pain in the world n it wasn't nearly as bad!!!
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
My reply is below Shenzi - I'm sure the others will be more than willing to offer lots of support/awesome labour vibes too
Xxx
Hi girls,
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out of writing this down, all I know is that I need to get it off my chest. I'm really upset and hurt.
You don't need to reply, I'd much rather everyone skip this probably silly post, and help our Shenzi x
I feel like I have really disappointed my husband.
Amelia is 2 weeks and 2 days old today, and since she was born, despite being totally fantastic with her, in love with her, and helpful etc - there has been a few throw away comments that I can't get out of my head about my labour.
You may have read my birth story so if you did, you'll know I was induced etc - took 2 days and on early hours of third day after days of contractions, I finally went into established labour. At about 4-5am I was 4cm and in absolute agony. Never felt pain like it - completely took over my whole body and the gas and air just didn't take it away enough for me to feel I could cope. I was nackered after no sleep, and could tell with each contraction I was panicking and getting more scared. My breathing was out of control (wasn't OBEM style where they breathe nice and slow through it) I was rapidly panting and tensing up because I couldn't cope with the pain. I ended up having an epidural.
The MW at the time said she thought I was coping, but I really didn't feel like I was. Goodbye waterbirth, hello Epi. After Amelia was born, John told me the midwife said to him and my mum that she thought it was way too early for me to be having an epidural, and he thought the same. I tried to explain why I went for the epidural when I did but of course, he will never fully understand the pain I was in.
Since then, there's been the odd "throw-away" comment that he was 'disappointed' I didn't cope with the pain well, and has joked that I was a bit of a 'pussy'.
To be honest, this makes me cry every time I think about it. It makes me feel so sh*t to think I've disappointed him. I sit here and I now think maybe I could have coped? I hate the thought that the MW, my mum, John - anyone - were thinking that I was crap, or that they were disappointed in me having the epidural.
I just feel hurt
Sorry, this is so pointless. Just needed to get it off my chest xxx
Jess... SHUT UP!!! Ok that might sound harsh but I will not have u think u have disappointed ANYONE!!! Feck that!!
No-one will EVER know hue u felt thru those contractions. Not me or any other woman that's been there n done it either!! It's completely different for each n every one if us n I know u 100% gave it ur all in there. N if u needed the epi earlier than some... so what. Doesn't mean u didn't need it sooner. We each have our own pain thresholds n done are higher than others. N am sure some ppls contractions are less than others. I did read ur birth story but can't remember at what stage u hit the epi... I know I was only 2cm when I asked for it!! Not sure where I was by time he came n administered it as they didn't focus on numbers in my labour they'd just say "uv progressed" or "uv not progressed"
I know I dilated quite quickly but I was only at 2cm when I asked for it!!
Am actually annoyed for him (or anyone) making u feel that way... U done AMAZING n look at the fabulous little lady u brought to the world!!
U should feel nothing but proud of urself xxxxxxx
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
My reply is below Shenzi - I'm sure the others will be more than willing to offer lots of support/awesome labour vibes too
Jess nobody should be allowed to make you feel like that and I'm bloody furious that you feel you've let him down!! Nobody understands the pain of labour unless they've been through it and nobody experiences the same pain so NOBODY has the right to comment on how you handled labour. It's the most painful, knackering thing I've ever done and I honestly think if Tom had said he was disappointed, whether jokily or not, I'd have fecking belted him!! You did what you needed to do at the time and it was the right thing for you. Bloody hell, I had the epidural before any contractions and, if it hadn't been for it causing problems with Cole's heartbeat, I would have had it for my entire labour. I only had mine stopped at 4cm because it kept causing heart decelerations. You get no prizes at all for suffering the pain so why should you have to?! You've given him a beautiful daughter, for gods sake, he should be in awe of the amazing thing you did!!
Please don't be upset and don't let it play on your mind. Next time he passes comment kick him in the knackers repeatedly and when he complains tell him HE'S a pussy!!!
xxx
ksmiuk
Gold Member
Shenzi I can't offer any advise but wanted to say good luck for tomorrow. Trust in your body and the professionals and all will be fine.
Jess don't you dare think you let anybody down, nobody has the right to make you feel like that. You did an amazing job bought your beautiful girl into the world safely so tell them all to F off!!
My problem today is that my consultant wants to induce me next week as my liver is struggling and there is an increases risk of having a still birth. I of course want my baby here safely and I would no nothing to risk that but I feel that my body has let me down I wanted the "typical" labour waters going at home calling the husband timing contractions etc. I'm anxious as to how I will cope with an induction I know some of you had a horrendous time. I'm even stressed that Luke will waste his paternity leave sitting waiting with me and then won't have much time afterwards I just feel so overwhelmed and sad. I've to go into the hospital every other day now so at any time they can say enough babies got to come now. I'm just not ready!! Xxx
Jess don't you dare think you let anybody down, nobody has the right to make you feel like that. You did an amazing job bought your beautiful girl into the world safely so tell them all to F off!!
My problem today is that my consultant wants to induce me next week as my liver is struggling and there is an increases risk of having a still birth. I of course want my baby here safely and I would no nothing to risk that but I feel that my body has let me down I wanted the "typical" labour waters going at home calling the husband timing contractions etc. I'm anxious as to how I will cope with an induction I know some of you had a horrendous time. I'm even stressed that Luke will waste his paternity leave sitting waiting with me and then won't have much time afterwards
I just feel so overwhelmed and sad. I've to go into the hospital every other day now so at any time they can say enough babies got to come now. I'm just not ready!! Xxx
shenzi
Gold Member
Oh gosh Jess how insensitive of your husband, you've been through a major trauma and no matter what happened before, during or after, you did what was best for you and your little girl, whether you had an epidural at the beginning or near the end you still did amazingly, everyone is different, personally I'm having whatever they throw at me, i agree with Sarah next time he says something kick him in the knackers!
Sazbirl
Gold Member
My reply is below Shenzi - I'm sure the others will be more than willing to offer lots of support/awesome labour vibes too
Xxx
Hi girls,
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get out of writing this down, all I know is that I need to get it off my chest. I'm really upset and hurt.
You don't need to reply, I'd much rather everyone skip this probably silly post, and help our Shenzi x
I feel like I have really disappointed my husband.
Amelia is 2 weeks and 2 days old today, and since she was born, despite being totally fantastic with her, in love with her, and helpful etc - there has been a few throw away comments that I can't get out of my head about my labour.
You may have read my birth story so if you did, you'll know I was induced etc - took 2 days and on early hours of third day after days of contractions, I finally went into established labour. At about 4-5am I was 4cm and in absolute agony. Never felt pain like it - completely took over my whole body and the gas and air just didn't take it away enough for me to feel I could cope. I was nackered after no sleep, and could tell with each contraction I was panicking and getting more scared. My breathing was out of control (wasn't OBEM style where they breathe nice and slow through it) I was rapidly panting and tensing up because I couldn't cope with the pain. I ended up having an epidural.
The MW at the time said she thought I was coping, but I really didn't feel like I was. Goodbye waterbirth, hello Epi. After Amelia was born, John told me the midwife said to him and my mum that she thought it was way too early for me to be having an epidural, and he thought the same. I tried to explain why I went for the epidural when I did but of course, he will never fully understand the pain I was in.
Since then, there's been the odd "throw-away" comment that he was 'disappointed' I didn't cope with the pain well, and has joked that I was a bit of a 'pussy'.
To be honest, this makes me cry every time I think about it. It makes me feel so sh*t to think I've disappointed him. I sit here and I now think maybe I could have coped? I hate the thought that the MW, my mum, John - anyone - were thinking that I was crap, or that they were disappointed in me having the epidural.
I just feel hurt
Sorry, this is so pointless. Just needed to get it off my chest xxx
Jess, you need to get this out of your head and shame on you're hubby fir making you feel Like it, in my experience my first baby i found the labour quite easy it was the pushing i struggled with (pushing for 2.5hrs) but straight away i thought i will do that again, then with Freddie i was induced and just wasn't dialating and i couldn't cope with the pain, then the pushing stage was easy and only lasted 10 mins, so both my labours were totally different. Don't feel down on yourself nobody knows what it was like for you. I agree with kicking in the knackers if he says owt else lol.x
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Susiew2001
Gold Member
Jess, firstly am sending you a hug followed by a gentle shake to say 'stop it'. Secondly that midwife needs a slap round the chops for saying that. I would NEVER say to a woman's family it's too early, FFS it's your choice.
Thirdly hubby needs a massive kick in the balls and then tell him he can't have any pain relief or moan about how much it hurts as you went through ten times more!
Seriously though, you shouldn't feel disappointed with yourself, you brought your gorgeous little girl into the world and you should be proud of that. And if you can, I think you should tell him that when he makes throwaway comments like that it hurts you and makes you feel crap. I would guess he's not intending to upset you, and the reason you are upset is that you feel it wasn't the experience you had hoped for and that you feel let down as you had previously put, but I would tell him.
And maybe next time he says or does it, stop him and say something like I'm not listening to you if you say x. It upsets me and you know that. And walk away. He will get the message!
These fking men. Bloody hell. If it's not one it's the other! Why do we do it?!?
Thirdly hubby needs a massive kick in the balls and then tell him he can't have any pain relief or moan about how much it hurts as you went through ten times more!
Seriously though, you shouldn't feel disappointed with yourself, you brought your gorgeous little girl into the world and you should be proud of that. And if you can, I think you should tell him that when he makes throwaway comments like that it hurts you and makes you feel crap. I would guess he's not intending to upset you, and the reason you are upset is that you feel it wasn't the experience you had hoped for and that you feel let down as you had previously put, but I would tell him.
And maybe next time he says or does it, stop him and say something like I'm not listening to you if you say x. It upsets me and you know that. And walk away. He will get the message!
These fking men. Bloody hell. If it's not one it's the other! Why do we do it?!?
Dubchick81
Finally Pregnant!!
Appropriate?
Oh Jess please please please don't feel you let anyone down. You did an amazing thing and you nourished, grew and gave birth to a perfect, beautiful baby girl. As everyone else has said no one will know the pain or how you felt during your labour. You need to remember that being induced isnt always like spontaneous labour that builds up in intensity it can mean your contractions are more painful quicker as effectively your body is being "forced" in to it. Regardless I think you should give yourself a pat on the back as you had a very long labour and tiredness is awful when combined with contractions. I think you made the right decision to have an epidural - you didn't think you were coping (probably because you were tired and everything seems worse when tired) and it allowed you to rest and stay calm which your body needed in order to progress.
As for John I think you should say something to him about how these comments make you feel. Im enraged he even has the audacity to consider telling you he is anything but proud of you for what you went through to give him his daughter!!! As susie says he should get kicked in the balls every 2 mins and see how long he lasts before asking for pain relief....I bet he wouldn't last anywhere near as long as you did.
Finally hun more than one midwife said to me that you don't get a prize for having no pain relief....the pain relief is there to be used and if you feel you need it use it!
Big hugs hun I know the experience wasn't what you anticipated but the end result was probably way better than you ever imagined. ... You have your beautiful little lady and that is all that matters. You did and are doing an amazing job with her please don't let any one bring you down. Xxx
As for John I think you should say something to him about how these comments make you feel. Im enraged he even has the audacity to consider telling you he is anything but proud of you for what you went through to give him his daughter!!! As susie says he should get kicked in the balls every 2 mins and see how long he lasts before asking for pain relief....I bet he wouldn't last anywhere near as long as you did.
Finally hun more than one midwife said to me that you don't get a prize for having no pain relief....the pain relief is there to be used and if you feel you need it use it!
Big hugs hun I know the experience wasn't what you anticipated but the end result was probably way better than you ever imagined. ... You have your beautiful little lady and that is all that matters. You did and are doing an amazing job with her please don't let any one bring you down. Xxx
slimming-girl
Silver Member
Ah Jess xx you did a wonderful Job it was neither too early or too late for an epidural. The famous quote of pain description is pain is what the patient says it is. Some people have different thresholds if pain relief is available why should you push on through pain if you don't need to. I can't believe the midwife said that have you asked your mum? Maybe john misheard! The best question would be what would he have felt more comfortable witnessing you screaming in complete agony and getting tired trying to get your baby girl out or much less agony and a little less tired trying to get your baby out. Sometimes people don't think before they speak and others are right we don't give medals out in the NHS for the people who suffer through pain in fact we actively encourage them to take the pain relief available. Big hugs you did and are doing an amazing job with baby Amelia xxx from pregnancy to labour to parenting xxx
Susiew2001
Gold Member
Jess have just reread your original post and wanted to mention the obem bit. Please please remember it's severely edited and there are loads of women who gave birth there that were probably filmed but didn't make the final cut. Possibly because it wasn't interesting enough (my labour wasn't...18hrs of me sleeping whilst my epidural worked and me being on a drip, and hubby and the midwife making small talk would not make good tv) but maybe also because those women felt they didn't want to be exposed to national scrutiny for making the choices they did or how they looked whilst in labour! As someone else pointed out, induction is not proper labour and if you think about it, you don't see many mums being induced for being post dates, or diabetes etc most are normal labours (at least mostly) or slightly unusual situations in the first place.
Also just a thought...have you mentioned this to your mum? Can't imagine she would be too impressed....
Give j a smack round the face and tell
Him to stop being a t**t xxx
Also just a thought...have you mentioned this to your mum? Can't imagine she would be too impressed....
Give j a smack round the face and tell
Him to stop being a t**t xxx
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
Yep, all this!!!
Most of them go in already in labour. Plus you don't actually see how long they are in for. If they had filmed me they'd have run out of tape, 6 days would have to be heavily edited to fit into about 10 minutes!!!
I agree re speaking to your mum. We all know she'll tell you it like it really was (and is probably on the verge of clonking John on the nose!!) xxx
missy1978
Big Bird
Can't add anything that the others haven't already said Jess but please please don't compare yourself to anyone else! Especially some woman in OBEM. I swear that program does more harm that good sometimes.
I do understand feeling disappointed, I felt similar tbh. Expect in my case it was me driving the disappointment and no one else, I could smack John for making you feel like that! When I read birth stories on here I felt such a wimp for not coping better and I said that to Colin. He told me straight that I wasn't remembering properly (hardly a shock after all the drugs) and that I coped much better than I thought I did. If you ask your lovely mum I bet she'll tell you the same!
Induction is different to natural labour and a lot of people say it's harder, I was told I could have an epidural before I even went on the drip as long as I was dilated enough (I wasn't so had to wait!), they know the drip makes it mega intense and painful very quickly. So you did fabulously well and let no one tell you otherwise. xxx
I do understand feeling disappointed, I felt similar tbh. Expect in my case it was me driving the disappointment and no one else, I could smack John for making you feel like that! When I read birth stories on here I felt such a wimp for not coping better and I said that to Colin. He told me straight that I wasn't remembering properly (hardly a shock after all the drugs) and that I coped much better than I thought I did. If you ask your lovely mum I bet she'll tell you the same!
Induction is different to natural labour and a lot of people say it's harder, I was told I could have an epidural before I even went on the drip as long as I was dilated enough (I wasn't so had to wait!), they know the drip makes it mega intense and painful very quickly. So you did fabulously well and let no one tell you otherwise. xxx
