Pregnancy and Baby Advice Thread: From Conception to Birth, and Beyond!

[sarah_lou1981]

My mum always described it as "riding a wave" x dont fight it, just give in and let your body go with it and "ride" that contraction... Of course I forgot this at 5am when I was in established labour lol. Unfortunately I was on my own at this point - John and mum had been called so were on their way to hospital, and the MWs left me! So no one helped me with the breathing. Gas and air... Like sarah said, doesnt take pain away but makes you so out of it the pain seems as though its in the background... Your priority at that point is chatting away to the fairies lol. Omg did any of you try and speak whilst in the midst of G&A?!?! I sounded like a bloke!!!! Lol xx

Haha yeah. My sister was there when I had my first go on G&A and I heard her say to Tom "Listen to her voice" then out pops this deep voice. Xx

 

[Danni86]

Exciting Kirsty, hope you get some pain relief soon!

So Thomas has changed the last couple of days to 4 feeds a day. He has the boob in the morning then normally 3 210ml formula.

Feels very strange to drop a feed even through from 4 months 4 x 210ml feeds are recommended (he's 3.5 months). What's everyone else doing? X

 

[Dougal1983]

Ooh exciting stuff Dougal. Hard as it is... Try relax as much as u can thru each contraction n as Jess said, breathe... I remembered this halfway thru each n it really helps. N the more u can relax the more effective the contraction
A hot shower running in ur lower back is AWESOME thru the contraction too. I was on a ball in the shower with J holding the shower on my lower back.
Gas n air done nothing for me but was good to have something to bite on
Nearly there hun.... Xxx

Just had a hot shower, it was bliss!
I'm not sure if my waters have gone, I've had a lot of discharge but mostly brown coloured which I'm assuming is still my show.

Actually my hubby thinks the hospital will send me home cos my contractions aren't 5 mins apart (which seems to be the golden rule) but I think they'll keep me in, given how intense they are and it's my first baby.
What does everyone else think? X

 

[PrincessPeach]

Just had a hot shower, it was bliss!
I'm not sure if my waters have gone, I've had a lot of discharge but mostly brown coloured which I'm assuming is still my show.

Actually my hubby thinks the hospital will send me home cos my contractions aren't 5 mins apart (which seems to be the golden rule) but I think they'll keep me in, given how intense they are and it's my first baby.
What does everyone else think? X

I think it depends on how dilated you are. If you're anything over 4cms, then you can stay x I'm sure if you asked to stay in because you're feeling a little anxious or whatever (or want pain relief) they can't turn you away hun xx

 

[Dougal1983]

I think it depends on how dilated you are. If you're anything over 4cms, then you can stay x I'm sure if you asked to stay in because you're feeling a little anxious or whatever (or want pain relief) they can't turn you away hun xx

Well I spoke to the hospital and they pretty much said unless it's every 5 mins they'd prob send me home. However she did at to try some painkillers and if it's still getting too much in a few hours to give them a call and I can go in.
I could go in now but I really don't want to be sent home or spend an extra day in there unnecessarily when I could be in my own home so I'm staying put until its gets unbearable x

 

[PrincessPeach]

Well I spoke to the hospital and they pretty much said unless it's every 5 mins they'd prob send me home. However she did at to try some painkillers and if it's still getting too much in a few hours to give them a call and I can go in.
I could go in now but I really don't want to be sent home or spend an extra day in there unnecessarily when I could be in my own home so I'm staying put until its gets unbearable x

If you have to use all of the hot water having lots of baths hun then do it x anything to make you more comfortable.

How are the pains now? xx

 

[ksmiuk]

Good luck Dougal. Breathing was the best thing I found, I also bounced and rocked on the birthing ball. The hospital I went too wouldn't let me have G&A until I got to 4cm and I was contacting every minute for 4 hours (induced labour) also really liked pethidine made me sleepy and sick but took the edge off. Also rocking side to side with husbands arms round my back helped in the early stages basically I couldn't keep still. Xxx

 

[sarah_lou1981]

Good luck Dougal. Breathing was the best thing I found, I also bounced and rocked on the birthing ball. The hospital I went too wouldn't let me have G&A until I got to 4cm and I was contacting every minute for 4 hours (induced labour) also really liked pethidine made me sleepy and sick but took the edge off. Also rocking side to side with husbands arms round my back helped in the early stages basically I couldn't keep still. Xxx

I was given G&A while they broke my waters (at barely 1cm - OUCH!!) and they never took it off me so I had it for the whole thing xx

 

[PrincessPeach]

I need to say this out loud...

I want my relationship back :'(

Its literally vanished, and has been replaced with arguments (daily), isolation, and different rules for each other (for some reason).

 

[sarah_lou1981]

I need to say this out loud... I want my relationship back :'( Its literally vanished, and has been replaced with arguments (daily), isolation, and different rules for each other (for some reason).

Aw Hun. Have you tried talking to John about it? Xx

 

[Dougal1983]

The pain is excruciating but the contractions are still very erratic- sometimes 10 mins apart, sometimes longer....
I'm very restless, getting bored and fidgety, trying to watch tv but I'm not interested...
I'm dreading going to bed tonight, I'm just hoping these contractions get more frequent so I can go to the hospital!

 

[PrincessPeach]

Aw Hun. Have you tried talking to John about it? Xx

Every day. just turns into an argument or I just get ignored and then the next day its the same old rubbish. I've tried to stay optimistic and positive, and ive put on a brave face for a long time (in all honesty, this has been going on way before Amelia was born). I even try and pretend its not happening and will just try and get on with it. The thing is, I do absolutely love him. I sit there and have lots of gushy moments - like today when I was looking through our wedding pics on facebook. 5 minutes later, we are having a row and I wonder what the point is. Tonight we had a big barny over money, and I got so worked up because I knew he was in the wrong, I screamed at him right in front of Amelia. She was fine, but I felt hideous for it.

Im miserable, lonely, and I've no idea what to do anymore. I try and ignore it and tell myself we will be fine - but how long can I keep doing that? xx

 

[sarah_lou1981]

Every day. just turns into an argument or I just get ignored and then the next day its the same old rubbish. I've tried to stay optimistic and positive, and ive put on a brave face for a long time (in all honesty, this has been going on way before Amelia was born). I even try and pretend its not happening and will just try and get on with it. The thing is, I do absolutely love him. I sit there and have lots of gushy moments - like today when I was looking through our wedding pics on facebook. 5 minutes later, we are having a row and I wonder what the point is. Tonight we had a big barny over money, and I got so worked up because I knew he was in the wrong, I screamed at him right in front of Amelia. She was fine, but I felt hideous for it. Im miserable, lonely, and I've no idea what to do anymore. I try and ignore it and tell myself we will be fine - but how long can I keep doing that? xx

I'm sure Amelia wouldn't have known anything, babies are in their own little world that involves cuddles, food and playing! I'm really not the best person to give marriage advice seeing as my last marriage ended 9 months in But having a baby is a massive thing and will change any relationship. Only you know how long you can take it for. Obviously we don't know the ins and outs, that's between you and John. But we're here to support you and if you need to sound off we're here to listen. I don't know how you feel about it but have you thought of talking to a marriage counsellor or something, if it's too hard to talk to each other without it turning into an argument? It's not fair on any of the three of you if there's a lot of tension and arguing.
Sorry I can't offer any better advice. Sending you massive hugs though xxx

 

[ksmiuk]

Jess I'm so sorry to hear your feeling like this. Having a baby really puts a strain on a relationship I know you said things were not always great before but I think babies make relationships harder with differing opinions etc.
I actually miss my husband since having a baby and we have gone from being a couple that have literally not had a cross word in 5 years to bickering daily and it's really hard. I also miss myself if that makes sense I have been plunged into this new role that I haven't got a clue how to do when I'm used to be confident and competent at pretty much everything I tried to do ( I know that sounds big headed)
Anyway I really hope you can work. It out have you had a date night yet? Maybe a bit of grown up time will help. Xxxx

 

[ksmiuk]

P.s I'm not a great expert either I am on my second marriage too!! Would agree that counselling can help but only if both parties are willing to try.
Amelia won't know anything at this stage so don't beat yourself up xxx

 

[Dubchick81]

Dougal hun hope ur doing ok??

I know they're not great but have u taken some paracetamol ??

The discharge sounds like ur plug still coming away but if pain is unbearable maybe go in n be assessed. If ur 3cm they may call it established (some hospitals say 4) they might admit u n b able give u something stronger to help u sleep at least?!

Jess hun am sorry yo heat things aren't great at home. Don't really have advise as, as Sarah said I don't know the ins n outs but talking to a relationship / marriage councillor sounds the best idea.
We're here to listen n help when we can but u don't want ur private business printed online...
Really hope u guys can work thru it xxxxxxxxx

 

[Sammielouise071]

Jess keep your chin up honey .. Like Sarah said were all here if you need to vent .
Relationships are hard enough without a baby in the mix but it certainly does put a strain on things .
I think sometimes we as women put up with too much crap because we feel we owe it to our little ones to get on with it ..but if things aren't good then i personally feel its worth having it out with John and letting him know how you feel because our babies won't stay little forever and we have to look out for our selves too!
I know I don't know you personally but just from talking to you on here I can see what a lovely person you are and you deserve to be happy.
I'm sure this is just a difficult stage and I really hope you manage to work it all out.. Like you said you love him so I'm sure you will resolve it but in the meantime let us know if you need to talk because there's always someone on here that can relate.
I also think that we tend to have a very romantic view of what life with a baby will be like .. Don't get me wrong there's absolutely nothing better than being a mum and having so much love for this little person and just seeming them grow and change everyday but what I'm saying is that I think perhaps in my case anyway I imagined things to be different to how they are .. I didn't see any of the bickering .. I didn't see me being the one doing every single nappy change and feed aswel as all the housework cooking washing etc and I certainly didn't imagine how our relationship would change.. So when you have this amazing view in your head of how things will be and then they don't quite turn out to be that way it can be disappointing and make us doubt our relationships.
Anyway I'm babbling now and probably completely off point lol but I just wanted to say your never alone on here
Xxxx

 

[pjallen1982]

I need to say this out loud... I want my relationship back :'( Its literally vanished, and has been replaced with arguments (daily), isolation, and different rules for each other (for some reason).

Aww Hun. I'm so sorry you're having a tough time xx

 

[pjallen1982]

The pain is excruciating but the contractions are still very erratic- sometimes 10 mins apart, sometimes longer.... I'm very restless, getting bored and fidgety, trying to watch tv but I'm not interested... I'm dreading going to bed tonight, I'm just hoping these contractions get more frequent so I can go to the hospital!

Aww Hun you poor thing. Very frustrating. If he ges too much then you'll have to go in for some pain relief. Can you take paracetamol? Xx

 

[pjallen1982]

Jess keep your chin up honey .. Like Sarah said were all here if you need to vent . Relationships are hard enough without a baby in the mix but it certainly does put a strain on things . I think sometimes we as women put up with too much crap because we feel we owe it to our little ones to get on with it ..but if things aren't good then i personally feel its worth having it out with John and letting him know how you feel because our babies won't stay little forever and we have to look out for our selves too! I know I don't know you personally but just from talking to you on here I can see what a lovely person you are and you deserve to be happy. I'm sure this is just a difficult stage and I really hope you manage to work it all out.. Like you said you love him so I'm sure you will resolve it but in the meantime let us know if you need to talk because there's always someone on here that can relate. I also think that we tend to have a very romantic view of what life with a baby will be like .. Don't get me wrong there's absolutely nothing better than being a mum and having so much love for this little person and just seeming them grow and change everyday but what I'm saying is that I think perhaps in my case anyway I imagined things to be different to how they are .. I didn't see any of the bickering .. I didn't see me being the one doing every single nappy change and feed aswel as all the housework cooking washing etc and I certainly didn't imagine how our relationship would change.. So when you have this amazing view in your head of how things will be and then they don't quite turn out to be that way it can be disappointing and make us doubt our relationships. Anyway I'm babbling now and probably completely off point lol but I just wanted to say your never alone on here Xxxx

Totally Agree Sammy. My relationship with Paul has totally changed too. Something I never saw happening. I've been mentioning this on my thread. I guess it often takes men longer to come to terms with the change having a baby has on their life.

Jess I really hope things improve xxx you deserve to be happy xxx