Yesterday was such a bad day.
Well most of you know I've been trying for a baby for almost 10yrs, after having 2 ectopic pregnancys previously im currently going through Ivf. I'm due to have an operation in 2 weeks to remove my only Fallopian tube as it's diseased, which means I won't ever be able to have a baby naturally.
So yesterday my period arrived & now realisation has hit that.. that was my final chance of ever conceiving naturally gone, NO more chances as my tubes going this month.
Sorry girls, I'm being so morbid lately, ive just got a lot on my plate (not food for once) I feel incredibly sad that if my Ivf doesn't work I'm not ever going to be a mum. & I don't have no back up plan as I'll have no fertility of my own. Life is horrible at the minute
My hair is falling out massively, Ive got bald patches forming & I know it's stress. (though hair loss is least of my worrys)
So yesterday I did what I always do when upset..... Ate, then sat & cried bcos I'd eaten, then cried most of last night because I'm in a really unhappy place at the moment & I dont want to be here.
This morning I've got up, got my sorry arse dressed & been to join a Saturday morning weightwatchers group. I'm 13st 1.5lb so weighing in 0.5lb less than last week & I'm on my period so I know im weighing more as I always do when it's totm.
I'm sick of saying this now, but today is day 1 of weightwatchers for me. I'm now at a group for the support & I really do need to get my life sorted once & for all, sick of being depressed & unhappy about everything! I just hope my life decides to finally take a turn for the better.
Xx