Rachel says 'Hi' and sneaks in quietly!!

[RachelA]

TRY THIS!!!

I forgot, check this quiz out, it's so infuriating!!
Its been doing the rounds at work lately, i got quite far but still not completed it!!

http://ic1.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/070/d/b/The_Impossible_Quiz___Lite_by_Splapp_me_do.swf

 

[RachelA]

Will try to post more later, but am back to work after day off yesterdday tending to poorly daughter. MIL has her today, poor sprog was begging me not to leave her there but I need to earn the dough so to speak!

 

[kazbro]

blimey the poison dwarf sounds nasty madam
hope your daughte ris on the mend
have a fun day and try not to kill the dwarf
kaz xxx

 

[RachelA]

Yaay!!!!!!!

Woohoo!!!

After my giving in to alcohol and food a couple of times, I really thought that I would have lost maybe a pound as I was just getting into ketosis when I fell at the hurdle, but……………………..
My cdc has just been and I lost 5lbs!! I know that’s not great for a 1st week but that’s such a boost for me!!

WAHEY!!! arty0023:

 

[Mrs Pink]

Hi Rachel
I too deviated from the "program" early on and spend every evening arguing with myself! My blip was also alcohol related ... I came home after my first weigh in - FIRST WEEK - lost a STONE! Wayhay! So what did I do? Went straight home and had a bottle of wine a bag of nuts a bowl of soup and a whole packet of jammy dodgers!!! WHY? I make no sense to myself ..... please tell me I am not the only one to behave in such a crazy way ....

 

[SHAZA]

Well done Rachel

Thats a really great weight loss with a little cheat and all

Mrs Pink

I do crazy things just like you did ~ Its a if we have to prove to ourselves that we can have the food if we want. Very crazy behavouir ~ should you get the answer to this silly syndrome please let me know !!!!!!

 

[RachelA]

Hi Rachel
WHY? I make no sense to myself ..... please tell me I am not the only one to behave in such a crazy way ....

No Mrs Pink, you are definately not the only one!! I hate myself for doing things like that, I mean why reward yourself for losing weight and not eating etc by eating the very stuff that will make you put back on?!! Hopefully, thats something we can kick by the wayside!

Well done Rachel

Thats a really great weight loss with a little cheat and all

Mrs Pink

I do crazy things just like you did ~ Its a if we have to prove to ourselves that we can have the food if we want. Very crazy behavouir ~ should you get the answer to this silly syndrome please let me know !!!!!!

Thanks Shaza! I really felt that I would not have lost anything, so was well pleased! I am settling in nicely at the moment with shakes etc, I'm determined to learn from my mistakes this time if you know what I mean? I want to be a lot smaller by my 36th in October cos I have spent the vast majority of my 20's and all my 30's so far being v.v.overweight.
The main problem I have is fighting the feelings of deprivation that I get, I mumph around feeling sorry for myself and then snap at everyone else. Should I give into food then I feel guilty and awful etc etc.

Any tips?!!

 

[kazbro]

the only tip i can recommend is look in the before and after pics
that keeps me motivated
i to get grumpy but deep down i`mm grumpy at myself for ever getting to this size
we will all do this with the help of our cdc and minimins

good luck
kaz xx

 

[RachelA]

the only tip i can recommend is look in the before and after pics

I'll try to do that this morning, I know it does help a lot, especially when you see that people can lose as much weight as i need to, at least it shows it can be done!

that keeps me motivated. I do get grumpy but deep down i`mm grumpy at myself for ever getting to this size
we will all do this with the help of our cdc and minimins

good luck
kaz xx

I think thats half the problem with me, I'm so angry with myself all the time for even getting to this state and the fact that (in the past) I seem to be inept at doing something about it!

Damn right we will do this!!! :hug99: Hope your cdc is as nice as mine! Minimins is a god send by the way, certainly helps me when I feel down!

 

[SHAZA]

Originally Posted by kazbro
that keeps me motivated. I do get grumpy but deep down i`mm grumpy at myself for ever getting to this size
we will all do this with the help of our cdc and minimins

good luck
kaz xx

I am very annoyed with myself too, each looming decade ie 30, 40 and now 50 I say I am not going to be fat and 30
I am not going to be fat and 40 and now I am not going to be fat and 50.

Why oh why didnt I take action years ago. Then I get frustrated and want to eat ~vicous circle of unhappy weight gain

This year is my year to change whatever or however I dont mind as long as I am smaller i dont care what I have to do

My CDC is amazing and I couldnt do this without her or could I have stuck to this without this site

Its very theraputic to put your inner most thoughts down without being judged as making excuses for being big

luv luv to all

I agree Rachel Damn right we will do this

 

[RachelA]

Week2 Day1!

So, Week2 Day1 is here already, feels like a bit of a cheat tho as I only did 6 days last week and I wasn’t exactly good for most of them!

Anyway, headaches abound today but I am not sure if that is stress related re work or ketosis?
My skin is also going to pot a bit at the mo, spots galore, bleurgh!! I have a really sore one on my chin and although it doesn’t look that bad, it is so sore!! :help2:

Have just had my choc tetra :drool: for lunch although it is getting on a bit (like me!!). Work is so slow today, I really can’t be bothered, I’ve felt like going back to bed ever since I got up this morning!

I was just reading Mrs Pink’s thread on tummy tucks and I so know I am gonna need one, to be honest, I think that’s why I have sabotaged my previous attempts at CD. I know how odd that must sound, but as my weight went down further, I got more and more panicky about how I would look when I reached my goal. Having spent so many years being so fat and hating my body :raincloud:, I didn’t want to put in all this effort to look just as bad if not worse.

Realistically tho, I know that I will look better and feel better. Clothed no one will be able to notice and my hubby says he loves me no matter what I look like (yeah, right!). I think I will start saving now tho, I’m not sure what my chances of getting a tummy tuck on the NHS would be so best to start saving my pennies!!:character00238:

Umm, have just decided on a boob lift too!! We were actually discussing plastic surgery in the office yesterday and every single person said that they would have surgery to change something or other! Just goes to show that most folk are not happy with their body in one way or another.

What really gets me tho is that when I was young and a size 10, I used to think I was fat, I remember crying in front of a mirror for hours, refusing to go out because I looked so horrendous! My god, I would give nearly anything to be that size again! I wish I had appreciated what I had when I had it!

 

[kazbro]

shaz you will do this as you are now ready
putting aside your illnesses you area strong lady
just keep posting and stick on here for encouragement

rachel you are doing well and will also do it this time
lots of posting and keeping buisy

kaz xxx

 

[SHAZA]

Thanks Kazbro

Your support is much needed. I couldnt continue without this site ~ its amazing.

You are right ~ I am ready to be slimmer no going back this is my last ditch attempt and I really mean it this time

luv luv

 

[RachelA]

So, last night I went to see my youngest sprog, Molly as she has been staying with my MIL while she is off with a chest infection and tonsillitis. I really wish I could be at home with her but I cant afford to take any time off work and after seeing her last night, Im not feeling as guilty as I did, she is being soooo pampered!
I walked in and she was propped up on their couch wrapped in a duvet sipping a carton of juice and watching the Simpsons! Happy as the proverbial Larry! Thankfully tho, she should get much better over the weekend and back to school Monday.

Got up at 6.15am this morning, had a shower and thought I might as well make the effort as I usually wear officey clothes during the week and most folk wear casual stuff on a Friday whereas I never bother. So, I have on a pair of jeans and a lovely cerise top, little bit of lippy too. Hubby says who are you getting all dolled up for? Just shows that I haven’t made an effort in a long time! Had a bit of a rant at him for only saying negative things, glad he noticed what I looked like but how about a positive spin on it? You know, ‘Oh you look lovely honey’ etc? I mean, I’m constantly telling him how nice he looks, how firm his ass is!! Lol!!

Got to work, had 1st Banana tetra of the day, just thought, I have hardly had any water!! Better glug a bottle or 2 now!:tear_drop: :tear_drop:

Its so quiet at work today, not sure what else I am going to do today, Fridays are our worst day here, serves me right for getting most of it done yesterday! Will try and hint for an early finish!

Found out yesterday that the girls from work and the W&G’s of the blokes are al going out for a meal on the 9th June as a treat from the boss. I am now really worried as I don’t want to not go, I’ll stand out even more as they are quite cliquey and it would set me apart, again… But if I go and don’t eat, then what? Its not like they are my friends who would understand, do I pretend Im sick, do I eat meat, do I tell them all to p**s off and run away crying?!! :sigh:

Oh well, better go off an find some work to do, catch you later!

 

[RachelA]

Jeez! I'm fair buzzing, just made myself a proper coffee, you know, full on caffeine stuff and :wow:!! buzz buzz buzz!!

 

[SHAZA]

Love a proper coffee ~ I am always on decaf (healthy and all that crap he he) Its our one and only treat hey Rachel

Go out for the meal on June 9th use it as your Add A Meal week and just have fish and veg, talk alot, move your food around alot and then say ohh I am really full that was delish yum yum

oh no I cant possibly have a dessert but a proper coffee would be lovely

drive so you cant drink and offer the snotty unfriendly lot a lift home with a smile

SORTED

luv luv

 

[kazbro]

i agree with shaz
do it your aamw
let ya hair down have some fun
kaz

 

[RachelA]

Sorry for the delay in answering guys but I have been so busy and now insatlled our new BT Broadband Hub thingy, very easy thank the lord!!!!

How are you all today?

I so wish I could go out today, 2 of my friends in Edinburgh have invired me to a fancy dress Eurovision party and believ me , their parties are to die for!! Sadly, I cant get a babysitter who can look after them til tomorrow night as Edinburgh is a fair whack from here! Best I dont go anyway, not sure I could resist the food and winearty0036:, both are French and partying well is therir life!!

Oh well, will have to watch it with a pint of water!! (Saddo me!!)

 

[RachelA]

Uurgh, I feel cack!

I know I havent posted for 4 days but I have been and still am so ill. I havent been able to keep anything down bar water for the last two days and stll have a temperature.
My youngest was off school last week with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection, she is much better now thank goodness, but has passed it on to the rest of us!:sick:

I havent had chance to catch up with anyone here and have just read a posting by TTey68 - Why do people cheat?

Although I'm not too keen on the tone of the posting , it really struck a chord with me as I have consistantly cheated since restarting and have been asking myself why? I hate the way I look at the moment , im going to post pics of myself in the gallery later on today and you'll see why.
I know that unless I do Ss'ing and actually see it through, I will be this size or worse until my premature death. I dont want to leave my girls and I do want to show them that their mum can be healthy and fit etc.
I seem to do great at work packwise, i ahve a tetra for breakfast and one for lunch with plenty of water, I do not deviate from the plan. But.... as soon as I get home I eat, even if I have told myself that I wont and how good I will look at our wedding anniversary in October etc this seems to have no effect. I didnt have this problem so much before, but then again I did smoke. I gave up at New Year, where I would have had a ciggie before if I had cravings or feelings of deprivation, I have nothing now, what do I do?
I think Im going to take up knitting again, see if that helps.

I dont want to be constantly restarting and getting nowhere. I want to look back in 10 months time and think, look you did it, you didnt fail this time arty0011:.

Here's hoping! Does anyone have any helpful hints/tips for the evening bar taking a bath?:help2:

 

[RachelA]

Obviously not, lol!!