Realisation
- Thread starter WelshJojo
- Start date
Maximus
Gold Member
I'm with Ellebear on this one.
Speaking from a blokes point of view, if that was someone I knew or one of my mates, I'd give him a slap!
Commitment phobe idiot? - I think Ellebear used two words too many to describe him. Idiot would suffice!
I know you don't wan to be on your own or be alone, but never settle for second bet. You're worth much more than that.
Steve
WelshJojo
Gold Member
Boys are super strange!! Following on from the conversation the other night, he text me in the morning to say 'have a good day at work chic, then text again about 4ish to ask why I hadnt text back-and that he'd obviously upset me-which he never meant to do so take care and goodbye!!!
Now I'd left my phone at home on monday by mistake-felt like I lost a limb!!! So replied to him at 7pm when I finished and then surprise surprise nothing in reply! So deleted all the messages etc and got on with my life and the seemingly more important stuff
However this morning, after one of the best nights sleep in ages-I switched my phone on to find a message from him last night-at 11.30-asking if I was working! So I text back this morning as is the polite thing to do!!!! to say I'd only just got the message as id been sleeping lol! He's spent the last hour textin like we're long lost friends! I'm sat here thinking he needs to sort himself out!!! I've replied for a bit but now I need to go back to sleep to build up energy for my night shift tonight!!! Just needed to write it down as it all seems a bit odd!!!!
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Now I'd left my phone at home on monday by mistake-felt like I lost a limb!!! So replied to him at 7pm when I finished and then surprise surprise nothing in reply! So deleted all the messages etc and got on with my life and the seemingly more important stuff
However this morning, after one of the best nights sleep in ages-I switched my phone on to find a message from him last night-at 11.30-asking if I was working! So I text back this morning as is the polite thing to do!!!! to say I'd only just got the message as id been sleeping lol! He's spent the last hour textin like we're long lost friends! I'm sat here thinking he needs to sort himself out!!! I've replied for a bit but now I need to go back to sleep to build up energy for my night shift tonight!!! Just needed to write it down as it all seems a bit odd!!!!
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Shirleen
Gold Member
Step away from this bloke WT!
any decent man would NOT blame you for a break up in this way, to blame you for the break up using your own hang ups about yourself is manipulative. To say that it's not really over is manipulative, it's like a game of chase me chase me so he can be bolstered in HIS ego.
The continual texting/non texting/complaining you aren't texting is a mind game.
To sum up, I think this man is a manipulative, controlling mind gamer. You will have nothing but grief from him.
The last thing I wanted to say is that shyness is NOT a disease, or particularly wrong. Please don't feel you need to 'explain' yourself to a man in the early stages of a relationship, and NEVER apologise for yourself.
It takes time to build a relationship, that means earning respect, and trust from each other, if he likes you he will take the time to draw you out, and if you like him you will let him!
As for the confidence knock....think if someone you know had had the same thing happen to them and wanted to give up theatre because of it....what would your advice be them?
All the best xxxx
any decent man would NOT blame you for a break up in this way, to blame you for the break up using your own hang ups about yourself is manipulative. To say that it's not really over is manipulative, it's like a game of chase me chase me so he can be bolstered in HIS ego.
The continual texting/non texting/complaining you aren't texting is a mind game.
To sum up, I think this man is a manipulative, controlling mind gamer. You will have nothing but grief from him.
The last thing I wanted to say is that shyness is NOT a disease, or particularly wrong. Please don't feel you need to 'explain' yourself to a man in the early stages of a relationship, and NEVER apologise for yourself.
It takes time to build a relationship, that means earning respect, and trust from each other, if he likes you he will take the time to draw you out, and if you like him you will let him!
As for the confidence knock....think if someone you know had had the same thing happen to them and wanted to give up theatre because of it....what would your advice be them?
All the best xxxx
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
Boys are indeed strange!
Perhaps he likes having someone to text, and at the minute, you are the lucky lady! If you don't want the attention but don't wish to be rude, just answer any questions, but don't ask any. Otherwise, you could just tell him to naff off and sort out his noggin
Good luck on the night shift, I have one looming
Perhaps he likes having someone to text, and at the minute, you are the lucky lady! If you don't want the attention but don't wish to be rude, just answer any questions, but don't ask any. Otherwise, you could just tell him to naff off and sort out his noggin
Good luck on the night shift, I have one looming
WelshJojo
Gold Member
Shirleen said:
Thank you Shirleen-I was very good with the replies I sent him-and the final straw this morning was when he said ' altho I don't want a relationship at the moment, do you still wanna come over on friday and get drunk and stay over!!' I'm like yeah whatever-I know what he's after-and he's sure as hell not getting that from me so I just said no-I'm busy!!! And then that's it! Not replying anymore!! xx
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Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
Shirleen
Gold Member
Go YOU! OMG how manipulative is that, kick your confidence in the nuts then ask for a booty call!
Men like that are abusive, I know I've met a few!
Tinytootz
Mini crazy cat lady
My ex was the same. When we split, he still wanted to be friends, which I was ok with for a month or so. Till I realised that he wanted to be friends to ease the guilt that he had cheated on me, and as I was the only person he had to moan to about his work, family etc - because of course you don't wanna tell your new mrs how depressed you are! I took my time about it, but eventually told him to sling his hook!
My friend had a similar guy to yours, who didn't want a relationship, but would text her all the time, especially when drunk. He messed with her head, so best to nip it in the bud now x
My friend had a similar guy to yours, who didn't want a relationship, but would text her all the time, especially when drunk. He messed with her head, so best to nip it in the bud now x
Plumfoodie
Paleo maintenance rocks!
Welshtigger said:
Ohh you know I had typed a long insightful reply but my phone ate it and then I saw this. Step away from the muppet. What a tosser! Stay strong in your resolve to stop replying! Very telling that you had such a good sleep after mentally writing him off before; don't let him stress you out any further. Does your phone let you block numbers?
And sometimes it's good to have a period of being single to really get comfortable with yourself - best thing that I ever did! Was able to take up new hobbies and make new friends too without worrying about it taking time away from a relationship.
WelshJojo
Gold Member
Phone doesn't let me block numbers no-but it does let me just DELETE them!! Ha ha!! I really wish I had the time to try new things and make new friends but the job I do is 12hour shifts on a rolling rota so jab enough trouble trying to fit a SW class in each week as my days/nights off change all the time! Really need to try harder to find a new job,that will let me get my life back but it's just not that easy is it!! x
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Plumfoodie
Paleo maintenance rocks!
It's really difficult when your job hours are like that. I don't know what kinds of things you like to do or if you have any control over your schedule? For instance could you say that you really need the first Monday evening every month off as you're joining a book group? Or find something that doesn't matter if you can't make it all the time or might have different sessions available like a knit and natter or evening dance classes? Or maybe volunteering somewhere that can be flexible with your schedule? Just some random thoughts.
Hopefully muppetty twitboy will get the message soon but if he keeps texting you despite no replies you could send "This is an automatically generated message from O2 (or orange or whoever). Your SMS was undeliverable as this number is no longer in service." I did this once to some random bloke who got my number by mistake and wouldn't stop pestering me as was sure I knew a girl he'd hooked up with! And it worked.
Hopefully muppetty twitboy will get the message soon but if he keeps texting you despite no replies you could send "This is an automatically generated message from O2 (or orange or whoever). Your SMS was undeliverable as this number is no longer in service." I did this once to some random bloke who got my number by mistake and wouldn't stop pestering me as was sure I knew a girl he'd hooked up with! And it worked.
right WT! rename his number as 'IDIOT', and then if he texts again you will be able to see it is him (texting some lame a$$ yapping rubbish about nothing) and just delete - or read and ignore. The more you ignore him, the more he will get the hint.
He clearly is after just one thing - no ifs or buts about that. He thinks as well (stupidly) that he will get it - cos he keeps texting. The more you text back, the more he thinks you are going to be interested.
You are fabulous - he is not. End this texting honey! x
He clearly is after just one thing - no ifs or buts about that. He thinks as well (stupidly) that he will get it - cos he keeps texting. The more you text back, the more he thinks you are going to be interested.
You are fabulous - he is not. End this texting honey! x
WelshJojo
Gold Member
Ellebear said:
Ellebear you rock! You have been soo lovely to me all week, and you don't even know me! Thank you SOO much, and for all the inbox messages the other day. Everyone on here is so lovely and friendly! Such a shame it's not like a face-to-face support group
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