Bethany hun, don't feel down or feel like you have to leave the board. Why not try eating whatever you like for a week (attempting to eat healthily as possible) then every night write down and point up what you have eaten. I did this years ago as I was like you and kept rejoining ww all the time. It turned out that when I was eating 'normally' I was having 35'ish points per day. When I tried eating what I considered a healthy diet I was having 26-30 points a day. I made a few small changes, low fat houmous, bread instead of bagels, etc and started losing weight.
This won't work for everyone, but it worked for me, because I was getting so obsessed with counting points that I kind of feared food (but still binged on it

)
Why don't you try eating 'healthy' for a week pointing up at the end of every day. By the way, a packet of crisps is not a good idea for lunch, your blood sugar levels will be so low you will crave sugary foods, be hungry and feel miserable. You need something proper.
Good luck. You'll be fine, just stop worrying so much. I feel we are quite similar in that I am desperate to lose weight for my hols, but after some great advice on here I am going at my own pace, doing what I
know I can stick at for 3 months, not what I
think I should be doing. Why not try the same thing??