Rori's weight loss and exercise musings...

[Rori]

Thanks Bron, you're words are comforting! I've decided I really am a pain in the arse though. If only i'd joined this forum a few months ago. I really didn't give a toss if I ate some chocolate or went out for a meal and had dessert. That's when I lost most my weight too so obviously I was doing somehting right, and yet here I am, I have one night of chocolate and it's the end of the bloody world! I really need to lighten up. Especially when you consider that was two nights, makes it about 3 since I started seriously dieting in February, when I used to eat like that every day, that was normal eating! Pah, I make myself so angry!

Well Nicola didn't come over last night in the end because the weather really kicked it up a notch so she decided not to brave it, and I don't blame her! I made a microwave steam chinese meal instead, 350 cals and pretty damn tasty. I felt hungry a little while afterwards though so decided to have a skinnycow truffle chocolate ice cream thing and enjoyed it immensely, all for 100 cals! I went on a mad forum spree though and was looking up better ways to eat and think I need to eat more protein as this past two weeks or so i've really been feeling hungry and also to try and eat 5-6 small meals a day as opposed to sitting and starving for hours thinking that it will be fine because i'll be eating at such-and-such a time.

So, so far today i've had scrambled eggs for breakfast, with thin turkey and a spoon of cream cheese in it and it was lovely. Then a few hours later I had another few slices of thin turkey and an ice pop. Then for lunch I had a wholewheat pitta bread with (you guessed it!) thin turkey and lettuce and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese and then for dinner I bought a lean cut of beef steak, with a handful of mushrooms and some more salad.

My room mate came home from her cruise today and well, we don't get on mostly. We do in a way, she thinks we're bestest friends but I do admit to finding her obnoxious most days. She had said she'd over indulged on the cruise so was planning to stick her fingers down her throat to make herself feel better... I hate being around that kind of behaviour. She has no qualms about letting me know she's making herself sick, regardless of the fact that I hate it and have tried to tell her what harm it does. She only ever seems to do it when I'm around though, almost like she enjoys my lectures. She also likes to point out that she doesn't have to watch what she eats when I constantly seem to be dieting. I know which side i'd rather be on though, I just wish I didn't have to live with her but I don't have an option.

Oh well, I weighed this morning at 148.8. A tiny loss, but at least my mad chocolate sprees don't seem to be sticking with me too long. I figure even if I lose a lb a week... in six weeks that's six pounds closer to target! I had a big wardrobe clear out today and found a pair of size 14 trousers that i'd brought with me and left at the bottom of the pile as they were a bit tight and i'd hoped to slim into, i'd completely forgotten about them and tried them on and they're too big to wear! I was so ecstatic, maybe i'm closer to those 12's than I thought. I'm fully aware that i'll never be a 10, it's just not in my bone structure, but to be a comfortable 12 is good enough for me!

 

[bronski]

Hey you!

No worries, babe! There's always a point where we wonder "what are we doing different." Sometimes we need to take a step back and have a look what's changed or we need to see if the change is in our attitudes. But clearly you are still doing something right, because you're back at the 148s (well done on that, by the way!)

Man, your room mate really needs some help. I know how hard it is when you get into that cycle - someone close to me was bulemic - but whatever you do don't ever consider what she's doing. You already sound against it, but don't give into her peer pressure. Although you need to tell her that she needs help, she may also be attention seeking - you say she almost enjoys the lectures you give her - so maybe tell her one more time she needs help, then stop giving her what she wants. Alternatively there might be a number you can ring to get some sound advice.

Have a smashing weekend!

Bron

 

[Rori]

I've tried telling her she has a bit of a problem. But she just seems to think that it's normal to make yourself sick if you've over-indulged. I've tried reasoning with her that you could just not eat to that point in the first place but that doesn't seem to sink in. :copon:

Otherwise i've had a good couple of days, well, good in the sense that I haven't over done it, my calorie intake wouldn't have been more than 1200 each day but I ate all the wrong things! Yesterday was cereal for breakfast, a ham and cheese croissant from the France pavillion at Epcot (so good) and dinner was two hot chocolates with whipped cream as we got absolutely drenched in a storm and needed warming up. Oh and an apple for supper.

Then today i've had cereal and green tea for breakfast, some crisps and a cadburys caramel for lunch (so good yet so bad.) I had Moo Shu vegetables from the chinese and had half the portion and then that's it. Though my room mate is baking brownies so my food diary may include one of those too. I'm absolutely stuffed from the chinese food though so at least if I do have some brownie, I doubt it will be a huge amount.

So i've not exactly gone overboard, but I could have chose something with some nutritional value. I weighed in at 147.8 yesterday though so i'm pretty pleased with that. I'm coming round to totm now though so that's going to affect things, I can already feel my moods swinging! lol But yay, off to New York in two days, i'm very excited!

 

[bronski]

Yay! Great job on the loss again! I need some of your mojo!

Where the hell did you get Cadbury's in the US? Good find, not had one for years! And a savoury coissant? Weird Bet it's quite nice though! Like savoury pancakes, I used to doubt them too!

Don't let your housemate get to you. Stop giving her what she wants; you've tried to help, now it's up to her.

Stay cool!

Bron

 

[Rori]

Ok, just a quick recap, as i'm currently in my hotel in Manhattan and my friends are jetlagged and trying to sleep so i'm sneaking on here! lol

I had a great day yesterday, felt like my eating was spot on, didn't have any cravings, didn't feel hungry.... I had cereal and green tea for breakfast, two veggie burgers and mushrooms for lunch, a caesar salad for dinner and a slice of fresh pineapple as a snack and 1 square of dark chocolate.
Imagine my susprise this morning to stand on the scales and it say 149. I could have cried. I almost did. I don't mind a lb fluctuation every day because that usually happens but I think it's just the fact that yesterday morning when I weighed it said 146.6 and then to be over 2lbs heavier the next day after having a good food day was a little frustrating. I know it's ridiculous to put so much emphasis on the scales but that's a hard habit to break!

Anyway, today not so good with the eating! Which doesn't surprise me. I'd hoped to do better, but I was stuck in the terminal with only a pastry shop for four hours waiting for my friends to land, so I just thought I wouldn't eat anything until we got into the city, but then a few hours later I got hungry so ate a packet of skittles. Then in the city we went to kfc for dinner (grilled chicken and mashed potatoes) and I had some marble cake too. In terms of volume of food, again, I didn't eat a lot, but it was all the wrong food. Nothing of nutritional value. Oh, and as of this afternoon it is totm so now i'm bloated and craving salty foods like you wouldn't believe. Aaaargh!

I'm gonna at least attempt to eat healthily the next few days in NYC, we're going to Pax for breakfast tomorrow, usually I get bagels but I'll go for the scrambled eggs and skip the toast... easy peasy! Ha!

I just don't want to take one step forward and then two steps back just because i'm on holiday.

 

[bronski]

Hey you!

Wow, people jetsetting all over the place! Have a brill time, babe!

How often do you weigh? You'll see much more of your efforts if you just weigh weekly. That 2lbs sounds like it will have been TOM, I wouldn't worry about it.

Have a brill time!

Bron

 

[Rori]

I weigh every day most days, I can't help it. I try not to, but then I get paranoid and worry that i've gained and it goes round in a vicious circle! I haven't been able to weigh for two days now and i'm petrified. I know i've gained and i've got this really scary feeling that when I get back home i'll be 155 and i'll be back to where I was at the start of the month..... anyway...

Having a fantastic time in Manhattan, always do though. Seen some fantastic shows, done some shopping and walking around. I'm generally doing ok with food but not as good as i'd like, which is silly as I know I have the control over what I eat so surely if I don't want to indulge I don't have to. But it's not as easy as that. I'd done really well all day, but then we got to dinner and one of my friends wanted to go to The View for dinner, which is like a rotating restaurant 48 floors up so you can see views of the city as you eat. Only problem being it's an all you can eat buffet and there wasn't much choice at all. I started well, with mixed greens and mushrooms and then some chicken and beef, didn't have too much. Then we started on dessert and after starting with a marshmellow dipped in the chocolate fountain I kind of went a bit crazy and in a moment of sugar high I made my way through a years supply of desserts. Am majorly pissed with myself. I feel gross now.

The day had started off so well too, I'd gone to H&M and got some lovely black trousers in a size 10 and a pair of jeans in an 8! I'm not quite sure what they translate to in british sizes but either way, it's better than the 16's i've worn since I was 15!
On the plus side of all this, I'm now more motivated than ever to kick my arse back into gear and get into the gym again and really make an effort with the last stone, so we'll see where that takes me.

 

[bronski]

Happy Friday!

I think you should join us Friday girls. Having a group to support you through the days when you want to weigh will help you break the habit. Fact is you're not going to see a major difference day to day, you'll get far more satisfaction weighing weekly or fortnightly. I once read that the most successful dieters were ones that weighed then, compared to those who weighed daily, erratically or monthly.

Glad you're having such a wicked time in Manhatten! Oh I know the chocolate fountains well! Hehe! It's OK to indulge a little bit, you're on holiday!! Seriously, you'll be able to lose it if you gain anything, don't let it spoil your fun

Woo new trousers! Best thing ever getting small sizes!

Keep having fun!

Bron

 

[Rori]

So happy i'm back! Where to begin.... Manhattan was awesome! Had such a lovely time. Got back to Orlando on the 30th and headed straight for a Disney resort with my UK friends. Managed to weigh in once on the 31st and weighed in at 150, which I was happy with after the all-you-can-eat dessert splurge! The hotel had no internet or phone signal for that matter and a few times I could have done with coming on here for a motivational boost! We were walking pretty much all day every day and I didn't eat too badly considering I was in the theme parks. We did end up at another all you can eat buffet though (Crystal Palace in Magic Kingdom, really cute!) But I mainly just stocked up on the roast turkey so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Friends left on the 4th and I weighed in on the 5th at 151, again, was pretty ok with that. It was a gain but after 10 days of indulging a gain I could cope with!
Anyway, I got back to my apartment to find out that apparently we were having internet problems and they were fixing them (we weren't, and they didn't!) so have been offline since. Was tough going! Anyway, apparently it's been back on for two days, but no one bothered to tell us! Either way, I have me some internet and have been on a huge board spree trying to give myself a motivational boost!

I've had a pretty good 9 days since I got off my holidays though. I did have two major binge days but i'll get onto that in a moment.. I've gone back to the gym and out of those 9 days would say i've been 4 times, I would have gone more but the days I didn't go was because I was working a double shift, and in this heat, that's a workout in itself! I weighed this morning at 148, so those holiday pounds are dropping off. I think i'm plateauing though, I feel hungry now when I didn't before and I can't seem to get below that 147. I'm gonna mix it up these next few days, have some more calories, more protein, hit the gym and see if that makes a difference. I graduate in 2 weeks and it would be nice to get to 145 by then!

Bron: I'd love to be part of the Friday girls group but that's just after my two days off and I always splurge a little on those days. I'm going to actively attempt to weigh-in on Tuesdays though. Once a week...eeek!

 

[bronski]

Welcome back!!

Sounds like you had an awesome time! Well done on the minimal gain, that's loads better than what it could have been, especially with friends and buffets (friend peer-pressure = the worst!) You did so well though, I admire you so much!

Plateaus suck. The best way through is to change routine a bit; eat differently, exercise differently, you should get through it. Know what you mean though, I just kind of slide around 61 - 63 kgs with no definite point of rest and no slipping under.

Good luck with just weighing once a week. It'll be loads better for you, you'll see a bigger difference and it'll make weight loss feel more natural.

Bron

 

[Rori]

It's funny you should mention friend peer pressure! That's been on my mind a lot today....(this is very long and rambly... feel free to skip! lol)

Firstly, my dear friend from home that came to visit is a big girl, I'd say knocking on for at least 250lbs, I haven't seen her in 9 months and was so looking forward to catching up and having a decent conversation that didn't include skype and a couple of days in wondered whether she'd changed or i'd changed as it seemed the main topic of conversation was food. It was a bit disturbing actually, she literally talked for about 30 minutes straight about the pros of having the strawberry shortcake sundae, as opposed to the hot fudge brownie sundae. I found myself zoning out after 15 minutes thinking had we always talked like that? Was I that pre-occupied by food before that having this 30 minute indepth conversation about ice cream was deemed ok?? Or was this a new thing from her? And what a sad state to be in when you're on the vacation of a life time and that's the highlight of the trip? I just realised that I never want to be that obsessed by food, I never want it to be the main focus of a holiday. I don't want to be in Manhattan planning how many times I can fit in Bubba Gumps in 5 days. But then because she was thinking about food, I found myself thinking about food, and it's sucha huge waste of energy when there's so many more exciting things going on.

Secondly, today I finished work at 4pm, had planned to go home and go to Outback steakhouse for takeout as they do the most amazing steamed vegetables and grilled chicken ever, it's cheap and I wouldn't have to cook. But 5 of the other girls were heading to Sweet Tomatoes and bugged me to go. I'd said no all day, I had a night at the gym planned but then they started the guilt trip about how i'm leaving in 8 weeks and should take all the opportunites I had to socialise with them before I left and I totally caved. I was told it was just a salad bar so figured it couldn't hurt that much. But it happens to be another all you can eat type buffet. These just spell disaster for me and I almost stayed in the cab to go home, but didn't. I was so worried, I started mentally going through all my steps, my, 'i'll drink a glass of water before eating'; 'I'll eat a huge pile of salad and then wait a few minutes', but I didn't need to worry so much. It turns out it's actually a really good place with a lot of healthy food options. They had a huge pre-made salad bar and then they had a do it yourself option, so I just got a plate full of mixed greens, spinach, carrots, sesame seeds, raw mushrooms and broccoli and other healthy goodies and got a little dish of fat free garlic dressing so I could keep it to a minimum. It was delicious and completely guilt free. I've never eaten raw brocolli before and absolutely loved it (with the dressing). It was just so wonderful to know that I could eat all of this really good food and not worry about how much it's going to affect my diet. They then also had a soup section with 5 different soups, so I chose the fat free chilli soup and had just half a cup (it was delicious!) and then they had baked potatoes and baked sweet potatoes, I had the sweet potatoe, they were quite small though and I had a sprinkling of cinnamon over it. They had ingredient lists above the soups and it was all just natural ingredients, no added salts or sugars, such a fantastic place!
They did have desserts, and I had a little something. But I got the kids bowl as it was quite small and got one of the brownies and split it with one of the girls with a table spoon of ice cream on top. I felt so completely full and hated that i'd eaten so much and it felt like i'd really over-indulged and I started saying this to one of the girls and she kindly reminded me that except for the dessert, everything had been moderately healthy and nutritious and that eating until you're full is not always a bad thing, not when you fill up on raw brocolli and sweet potatoe. And I guess she's right! Anyway, I totally loved the restaurant. It's so nice that they give you such great options, I didn't have to make excuses about not eating the bread with my grilled chicken sandwich or having the salad without dressing. They didn't even have a soda machine, it was just fresh juices, like blueberry and acai spring water. I could definitely go there again without feeling guilty!
I'm working the morning shift again tomorrow and really do plan on just heading home afterwards and hitting the gym for a good 90 minutes or so. I bought my graduation dress the other day, it's a junior size 9 which apaprently is a UK 11, which we don't have. But it is a little loose so that's good, they didn't have the 7 and the next size they did have was a 3, that definitely wouldn't fit! So I can't lose too much weight between now and the 25th or my pretty dress won't fit! This will be the first time I wear a dress in 3 years though, so I'm quite nervous! But I don't think I have to worry about that as the plateau is in full swing. We'll see the damage on tuesday though I guess!

I don't know why i'm rambling so much...sorry!

 

[bronski]

Hehe! No worries for the rambles

It's weird how food can consume our thoughts. At the moment it's all I think about; how can I get the most out my allocated kcals per day? How much does this meal have? Can I make this meal healthier? My theory on it is there's two kinds of food obsession; the obsessed with the tastes, flavours and enjoyment (like your friend) or obsessing about making the healthiest choices (I know I fall face first into that catagory!) I don't think there's anything wrong with that, really, and while it's a shame that ice cream was the biggest highlight of your friend's trip, at least it made her happy!

That's quite harsh peer pressure from your friends. 8 weeks is still a long time, they can't keep putting it onto you every time saying "but you're leaving in 8/7/4/2 weeks!" Maybe say to them that you want to focus on looking great for graduation and home going, and then go out with them when it really is nearer the time. After all, a couple of weeks with friends isn't going to completely tip the balance, and just because you're leading a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean it has to impact your social life negatively.

That restaurant sounds amazing! Well done on making some great choices without even realising

Bron

 

[Rori]

Official weigh-in on Tuesday 147... am trying to steer clear of the scales until next Tuesday but no promises... the scales call me!

Had some pretty good days, hit the gym hard on Tuesday after a mars bar incident but burnt a good 600 cals so felt better about it. Went to Gatorland yesterday and had a good old walk to publix and back with a good 30lbs of shopping for the walk back so although no gym I did do a good amount of moving which i'm pleased about. I did go out for another leaving meal last night, there seems to be one a week at the moment! We went to Raglan Road at downtown Disney, a really nice irish bar and restaurant and I had the chicken and mushroom pie. Not a great healthy choice but oh so yummy and I had it with salad and green beans instead of chips, so a small victory!

I have a pretty nasty bite on my leg from gatorland (not from a gator though! lol) that's swollen and making me feel pretty sickly so I don't know if i'll make it to the gym today or not.

I booked my flight home last night, 22nd of August! That leaves me 64 days to hit goal as i'd love to arrive in the aiport with all my family there and actually be at goal but with the way things are moving at the moment (or not!) I think i'd be happy with 140. We'll see though, I may be able to break my plateau and lose a bit quicker. But yay! Home, back to the UK, I can't wait!

 

[Rori]

So, in an attempt to try and break my plateau, I woke this morning at 9 and headed straight for the gym. I don't know what got into me but I kind of figured in my half sleep state that maybe heading to the gym every morning will kick start my metabolism, so off I headed. I'm not great at that time of the morning though, at anything, especially on an empty stomach so I only managed 30 minutes brisk walking on the treadmill and 10 minutes on the stepper, 300 cals burnt in all. I'm really quite pleased though, I mean, not a great work out, but a workout nonetheless. Especially as today I had a 10 hour shift and would never usually go to the gym on those days! I hope to do the same tomorrow, and every day after, see if that affects my weigh-ins!
Food wise, not bad, not great (there was some naughty carbs in there) but i'd planned for them in my day and cut back elsewhere and don't think I went over 1400, so i'll settle with that!

Hoping for a good day tomorrow! I've already planned my food, which I don't know where that came from as I didn't intend to. Fresh pineapple and yoghurt for breakfast, lean pork and salad for lunch and then dinner is open, maybe some steamed veg and sliced turkey?? I feel in control! Let's hope it pays off on Tuesday!

I realised last night that i've been 148 for a month now and that scares me, no significant loss at all in almost 5 weeks. I didn't realise it had been that long. I guess I had the ten days of New York and Disney parks with my friends, and I know that affected my progress, going up to 151 and back down, but to not move down at all in 5 weeks is disheartening. Great if I was at goal, but i'm not!

 

[Rori]

Where did it all go wrong??
I've had a pretty good week, have been very busy, very social and on the whole, pretty good on the eating front. Yet I step on the scales this morning for my 'weekly' weigh in (I delayed it by a few days due to totm) and apparently, i've put 6lbs on since last Tuesday. To say i'm devestated is an understatement! I'm still totm'ing so I know that could have something to do with it, but not 6lbs. I honestly don't know where it's come from. I ate a lot for graduation, we had breakfast at the ceremony, and then went for lunch at a restaurant and then 10 hours later we had chinese take out. But it was just one day so I refuse to believe that is the reason i've gained almost half a stone in a week.
Oh I don't know. Maybe it is totm. I haven't drank as nearly as much water as I should every day, and I haven't been to they gym for a week. If that's all it takes to put on 6lbs though then i'm doomed for maintenance!

So, plan of action: Wait for Tuesday to weigh in again, totm will be over so I can assess the 'real' damage of graduation then. Drink lots more fluids, i'm on my feet all day and it's so very hot that I could really do without the water retention. Start hitting the gym again, 7 days is too long without going! And we'll see where that takes me next Tuesday!

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I won't hit target. I had wanted to get to 130lbs by the 18th of August and that really doesn't seem possible now. I know I shouldn't have a date, I don't want to think that I've failed if i'm not a certain weight by a certain time, I just wanted to be met at the airport and be my target weight, not still 15lbs off. Right now, i'd settle for 140, with a longer term goal of 130 by christmas. And to then survive the holiday without much damage! But right now, I can't really predict how my weight loss will go as it's definitely throwing surprises and challenges at me!

 

[Rori]

I did my weekly weigh in this morning, and it's back down to a more normal reading of 147.6. I didn't realise quite how much weight I put on due to totm! I still can't seem to get lower though. I'm not quite sure what to do. I find if I try to lower my cals any more than I already have I get hungry and binge, so I don't want to do that. My exercise is lacking, and I know that's something I need to deal with. I haven't been to the gym in a week and have no motivation to go, I just feel so depressed. Yet when I go to the gym every day I'm happier in myself, and I love the results I see in my body shape. Aaargh, this is torture. I know I can change this, I could just get my ass to the gym, it's down the stairs for crying out loud! But I just cannot be bothered... how dare I moan about a lack of weight loss if that's my attitude to exercise?

A small feat on the eating front... yesterday, I bought a tub of ben and jerrys ice cream (phish food...yum!) and I ate a quarter of the tub and enjoyed every spoon full, I put it in the freezer and felt disgusted with myself that I'd eaten ice cream etc.etc.etc. and woke this morning and realised what an idiot I was. Yes, I had eaten ice cream, but i'd eaten one serving size, just one! Usually, the whole tub would have gone in under an hour, that's almost 1200 calories. I wouldn't think of putting any back in the freezer, I just couldn't. And if I did, within an hour I would be back out there with my spoon devouring the lot. But it's still there, in my freezer, and i'm not craving it. Not even persuading myself I should eat it all in one go so the temptation isn't there. So maybe i'm learning?

Anyways, off to publix to buy something nutritious for dinner, at least that's a 40 minute walk!

 

[bronski]

Hey you!

Wow!! That is a scary TOM moment... At least it all came off again, that's a relief to see. And it means you can say you lost 6lbs in a week That'll have to be something to remember though.

Oo, hope you enjoyed all the graduation stuff! Sounds like fun That's ace you got the home tickets booked too. Bet your family can't wait to see you and visa versa!

That's a fab achievement with the icecream too. You do need to treat yourself every so often, and you do work hard, so you earnt every mouthful! It's all about moderation again, and I reckon you are learning valuable lessons.

With the gym, I do empathise. I have mornings when leaving the house is more trouble than it's worth. But just do it, literally force yourself, because it's always a case of you feel better about it afterwards.

Stay cool, babe!

Bron