Sarah's Weight Loss Diary

[Kay003]

Ooh I really don't think that would be for me at all - completely get why you are doing it though! I just love the SW plan and love its not a diet but a lifestyle change.

Wow 5.5 stone thats awesome, how long did it take you to lose that on SW? That is my target weight loss I am def a slow and steady kind of girl!

I tell you what, sometimes I wish I only weighed once a month as those weeks where you put on or maintain can really dishearten you, do you have a cheeky view on the scales or are you good?! I am a daily weigher i have to admit

Course I wish id asked, its good to get to know everyone! And ill take you up on the dance, reckon you'll be with me when i get there in no time! xx

Hey Sarah how are you hun ? It took me 8 months to lose 5.5 stone on SW . I know its different for everyone. Your doing really well and your food diary looks great for today. I've seen your doing the monthly challenges, so nice of you to keep everyone motivated and it will help keep you focused on your own goal too. Win win .

Kay xx

 

[LucieLovesIt]

OMG WOOOOOOOO saw your 2.5 loss! sorry been very selfish and we've been doing all the chatting on my thead! Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and support babe, they really mean so much and have really helped

SO close to your target!!! That's sooooo clossssseee! WOOO x

 

[Sazmajig]

Hey guys! Although I was feeling really happy and motivated yesterday I got a bit upset last night when thinking about my weight. Im happy that I've got to this much lost - I mean 4st 9 is just a massive number in my eyes. Its weird - 4.5 stone didn't sounds loads but this does...dont ask me why! Maybe its because I'm so close to the 10's but whatever the reason it feels really impressive and i feel like i should be proud now. And I totally AM but I also feel sad that I let myself get to being that big and that unhappy.

I also got a little upset because I was trying to visualise how much weight I have lost by weighing my dogs food bags & him (and btw its him (22.5kg) plus half a dog food bag (7.5kg) or two 15kg sacks!) I was asking the other half to help as I wanted to make sure i was doing it right and he got all hot and flustered and said 'i cant be bothered'

Now I KNOW he didn't mean he couldn't be bothered to help me he just meant it was tired and wanted to relax (and I completely get it) but it just kinda killed my buzz and i got upset. Then i felt bad for getting upset as I did not want to make him feel bad...and then i got upset because I thought 'if you didn't let yourself get so big in the first place this wouldn't even be an issue'. I feel awful that when I was 4st 9lbs heavier I was not being the Sarah i used to be. I didn't realise at the time that i was so unhappy but since losing the weight I'm really realising how unhappy i was. I just had a good cry last night and a cuddle and chat with my man. I know he's always loved me but I've been looking back at old pictures and I'm seeing someone i don't recognise, who actually makes me upset to look at. I guess last night i just had a sad moment because i feel like i wasted a few years being unhappy in my own skin and not being the girl that my wonderful man deserves.

Im so sorry for rambling and I hope that you understand what I mean. I know I'm the luckiest girl in the world, i have the most wonderful, most supportive man in my life but sometimes i feel bad for not being the best i could be for so many years...not just for him but for myself

 

[Sazmajig]

Food for today - still very much on plan!

B - Shreddies, milk (part HeA) & pear
S- Clementines
L - Leftover bacon pasta with mushrooms & carrots for speed
D - This is yet to be determined. Im thinking either omelette or something speedy but i really don't know yet. Need to pop out and get some eggs on the way home. We usually get local free range eggs 30 for £3.50!

Syns - yet to be determined! Must do a food plan for the next week or so! As being unprepared is not gonna work for me xx

 

[LucieLovesIt]

Hey guys! Although I was feeling really happy and motivated yesterday I got a bit upset last night when thinking about my weight. Im happy that I've got to this much lost - I mean 4st 9 is just a massive number in my eyes. Its weird - 4.5 stone didn't sounds loads but this does...dont ask me why! Maybe its because I'm so close to the 10's but whatever the reason it feels really impressive and i feel like i should be proud now. And I totally AM but I also feel sad that I let myself get to being that big and that unhappy.

I also got a little upset because I was trying to visualise how much weight I have lost by weighing my dogs food bags & him (and btw its him (22.5kg) plus half a dog food bag (7.5kg) or two 15kg sacks!) I was asking the other half to help as I wanted to make sure i was doing it right and he got all hot and flustered and said 'i cant be bothered'

Now I KNOW he didn't mean he couldn't be bothered to help me he just meant it was tired and wanted to relax (and I completely get it) but it just kinda killed my buzz and i got upset. Then i felt bad for getting upset as I did not want to make him feel bad...and then i got upset because I thought 'if you didn't let yourself get so big in the first place this wouldn't even be an issue'. I feel awful that when I was 4st 9lbs heavier I was not being the Sarah i used to be. I didn't realise at the time that i was so unhappy but since losing the weight I'm really realising how unhappy i was. I just had a good cry last night and a cuddle and chat with my man. I know he's always loved me but I've been looking back at old pictures and I'm seeing someone i don't recognise, who actually makes me upset to look at. I guess last night i just had a sad moment because i feel like i wasted a few years being unhappy in my own skin and not being the girl that my wonderful man deserves.

Im so sorry for rambling and I hope that you understand what I mean. I know I'm the luckiest girl in the world, i have the most wonderful, most supportive man in my life but sometimes i feel bad for not being the best i could be for so many years...not just for him but for myself

The thing is, you didn't realise at the time just how unhappy you were. You've worked so hard and literally found a new lease on life and had you not of, you'd still be living the same way with no idea it could be different. There are SO many people who associate happiness with what the scales tell them and I've actually never been one of those people. I've had some of the best days of my life at this size and it hasn't stopped me loving life and taking it by the horns and making it my own. You can feel bad for not being as happy for all those years but don't feel bad for being almost 5 stone heavier. You're weight never defined you, you define you and you spent all that time being unhappy and it's actually pretty amazing when you can look back and see how far you've come. Try and find some solace in that and that every day you've made changes to BE this happy person you find you can be now and don't let the old you creep back, not the heavier one, but the unhappy one

xxxxxx

 

[Sazmajig]

The thing is, you didn't realise at the time just how unhappy you were. You've worked so hard and literally found a new lease on life and had you not of, you'd still be living the same way with no idea it could be different. There are SO many people who associate happiness with what the scales tell them and I've actually never been one of those people. I've had some of the best days of my life at this size and it hasn't stopped me loving life and taking it by the horns and making it my own. You can feel bad for not being as happy for all those years but don't feel bad for being almost 5 stone heavier. You're weight never defined you, you define you and you spent all that time being unhappy and it's actually pretty amazing when you can look back and see how far you've come. Try and find some solace in that and that every day you've made changes to BE this happy person you find you can be now and don't let the old you creep back, not the heavier one, but the unhappy one

xxxxxx

Thank you lovely lady - what I was saying was not that being that weight was making me unhappy...not the physical number but how being bigger made me feel about being me. If that makes sense? My weight certainly doesn't define me but i realise it was holding me back from being me. The numerical value was not the problem but my mindset was. I wish I wasn't in such a funk but i was - it's hard to explain what I'm trying to say. I don't feel bad for being heavier, I feel bad for allowing myself to be so unhappy that my weight/health/self confidence wasn't important to me at that time. I now realise just how angry I was and how those closest to me got the brunt of it. I realise I kept allowing myself to be unhappy because i thought thats what i deserved.

I know i am rectifying it now which is all that matters and counts - but it still makes me sad to think about what time I have wasted being so sad, so angry & so unhappy

 

[Kay003]

Thank you lovely lady - what I was saying was not that being that weight was making me unhappy...not the physical number but how being bigger made me feel about being me. If that makes sense? My weight certainly doesn't define me but i realise it was holding me back from being me. The numerical value was not the problem but my mindset was. I wish I wasn't in such a funk but i was - it's hard to explain what I'm trying to say. I don't feel bad for being heavier, I feel bad for allowing myself to be so unhappy that my weight/health/self confidence wasn't important to me at that time. I now realise just how angry I was and how those closest to me got the brunt of it. I realise I kept allowing myself to be unhappy because i thought thats what i deserved.

I know i am rectifying it now which is all that matters and counts - but it still makes me sad to think about what time I have wasted being so sad, so angry & so unhappy

Hey Sarah, sorry you've been feeling down hun (((big hugs))). Just from my personal experience (and this is just my opinion ) when I got down to the 10's in SW and lost 5.5 stone, I remember feeling the same, and can identify with some of what your saying. It wasn't about the numbers but more about my emotional journey and how I felt on the inside. As I was going through my transition, my body was changing, but it was only when I was getting closer to target, a whole surge of emotions came to the surface. I think its letting go of someone inside of us that has been a part of us for so long. Although we know we are much healthier and much better off now, there is still an attachment to the past and a sadness in letting go. It's almost like a rebirth. As we become this new and better version of us, its a whole new life ahead of us, its a mixture of emotions, feeling, excited, happy anxious, everything all put together. It's a departure from what we are used to. There will be lots of differences in our confidence levels, our fitness level, we'll be a lot more active and have loads more energy and a lot of people go out more socially then before and it definitely impacts our close relations too with friends and family .

I think when we start a weightloss journey, our bodies are changing on the outside, but our emotions are playing catch up, and it takes time for us to adjust to this change. As you move on with each day, you will create new memories and as time passes, your old thoughts about yourself and your past will fade with each passing day and be replaced by new happier memories . It's a slow process hun, but believe it will happen and you will not feel sad looking at the past.

It's important to embrace our past and have a good cry, and accept what we have left behind. That girl was also a part of us, the difference between today and tomorrow is you will be stronger and look back at her and smile, because you will be a lot stronger within yourself and have moved on from there.

As regards to your fella, he's lucky to have u Sarah, your such a giving and caring girl, he's not going anywhere, no doubts about that !

Kay xx

 

[Sazmajig]

Hey Sarah, sorry you've been feeling down hun (((big hugs))). Just from my personal experience (and this is just my opinion ) when I got down to the 10's in SW and lost 5.5 stone, I remember feeling the same, and can identify with some of what your saying. It wasn't about the numbers but more about my emotional journey and how I felt on the inside. As I was going through my transition, my body was changing, but it was only when I was getting closer to target, a whole surge of emotions came to the surface. I think its letting go of someone inside of us that has been a part of us for so long. Although we know we are much healthier and much better off now, there is still an attachment to the past and a sadness in letting go. It's almost like a rebirth. As we become this new and better version of us, its a whole new life ahead of us, its a mixture of emotions, feeling, excited, happy anxious, everything all put together. It's a departure from what we are used to. There will be lots of differences in our confidence levels, our fitness level, we'll be a lot more active and have loads more energy and a lot of people go out more socially then before and it definitely impacts our close relations too with friends and family .

I think when we start a weightloss journey, our bodies are changing on the outside, but our emotions are playing catch up, and it takes time for us to adjust to this change. As you move on with each day, you will create new memories and as time passes, your old thoughts about yourself and your past will fade with each passing day and be replaced by new happier memories . It's a slow process hun, but believe it will happen and you will not feel sad looking at the past.

It's important to embrace our past and have a good cry, and accept what we have left behind. That girl was also a part of us, the difference between today and tomorrow is you will be stronger and look back at her and smile, because you will be a lot stronger within yourself and have moved on from there.

As regards to your fella, he's lucky to have u Sarah, your such a giving and caring girl, he's not going anywhere, no doubts about that !

Kay xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me so much! I had read it yesterday but didn't have the time to reply properly so i hope you didn't think i was ignoring you or that I didn't appreciate it - because I DID!!

I think you have hit the nail on the head my lovely - I think it because I finally feel like Im nearly back to where I'm my mind I was most happiest in my own skin (trust me I've been happier than ever since being with my OH generally but the way I feel about myself hasn't been my happiest). I feel like because I'm so happy in my day to day life and now its catching up with how i feel about myself its like a ton of emotional bricks have just been taken off me and I'm overwhelmed by it! I just know the day when I get to target I will cry some more - probably when my consultant talks to me!! you have put it so eloquently and that is EXACTLY how I feel!

I tell you what, right at the beginning of us being together (nearly 5 years ago...thats mental!) I certainly felt like he was lucky to have me/and I him but then that shifted for a long time and I felt like I was the lucky one who had such a lovely man by my side who loved me so much. I certainly didn't feel like I deserved it and more importantly like I deserved him (not just because of the weight but because it held me back from doing things, from making friends, from being happy and in turn it isolated us - but mainly it isolated him from others too.) Now I'm beginning to feel like i did at the beginning - we both deserve each other just as much. If I could put it into words better it wouldn't sound as cheesy...or as garbled! Sorry for my ramblings!

Thank you again for taking the time to message me such a wonderful message, it certainly means a lot! xxxx

 

[Sazmajig]

I finish at 10.45 today!! Whoop here comes the weekend! We are heading off to the city after we finish work for a spot of shopping and the OH wants a haircut!

B - Bacon & Egg sarnie (with a pear on the side!)
L - We will be having lunch out and going to spudulike for jacket potato, cheese and beans
D - Risotto - with LOADS of speed veg in it.

Syns -
ketchup - 1
the rest is to be determined - going to stick to 5 syns today I think

Am also going to pop to Asda or Sainburys when we are in the city to pick up some more fruit and veg as we have none at home xxxx

 

[Gemsta]

I have to say Kay absolutely nailed it there for me too! Well put! I am crap at that kinda thing and despite it being how I completely feel too I could never have put it like that Have a lovely weekend chick x

 

[Sazmajig]

I have to say Kay absolutely nailed it there for me too! Well put! I am crap at that kinda thing and despite it being how I completely feel too I could never have put it like that Have a lovely weekend chick x

I know right?! Perfect summed up! I cant ever put things so well on these types of things! xx

 

[Jessieh90]

Kay - can you come and be my life mentor please??

You have done fantastically (is that a real word?) well to get this far hun, I’ve still got a way to go until I get to target but I do sort of know what you mean. I was very much in denial about how big I was – avoided the scales like the plague, it was a “bad photo” or my clothes had “shrunk in the wash” – it’s only looking back at photos that makes me realise how ignorant to it all I was and how I’m mad I got that big in the first place. Sometimes it’s the little things that “non scale victories” – ie seeing how much you’ve lost in the form of something else (in your case your dog and the dog food! That make the difference, I think because it’s not a quick process you almost don’t notice yourself changing in the mirror but seeing the weight in front of you helps make it real. I would have been the same if my OH said he couldn’t be bothered to help, he’s always been slim-ish (until recently the coca cola has caught up with him) so doesn’t really understand the emotions attached to being big and losing the weight – weight loss is such an emotional rollercoaster and we’re always here for you to rant to!

 

[Kay003]

Awww thank you ladies . This is why I love mins, its a great place for support and I don't think any of us could manage on our journey's without it. It has helped me immensely too. I have been inspired by so many individuals on here. I loved some of the points Lucie made too, I can identify with them also . It's great to see how we all come together to help one another , its heart warming, and everyone has spoken so well on here.

Sarah - I'm just popping out hun, bit of a rushed morning, haven't even been on my diary yet, will pop back later for a good old catch up. Hope your day has started off well .

Jessieh90 - " Kay - can you come and be my life mentor please?? " - Cheers hun. You've certainly cheered me up ! If I was that good, I would have put myself at target many many moons ago ! hehe

Kay xx

 

[Gemsta]

Don't knock yourself Kay...having the power as such to reach out to just one person and have a positive effect over the internet is a fantastic thing, let alone 3 people (so far!) who read your reply to Sarah and summarised their feelings perfectly too!
You hear so many negatives about the Internet these days, it amazes me daily on here the genuine support, love and friendship that blossoms. I often wonder what it would be like sometimes if I ever managed to got together with my Mini buddies

 

[Kay003]

Don't knock yourself Kay...having the power as such to reach out to just one person and have a positive effect over the internet is a fantastic thing, let alone 3 people (so far!) who read your reply to Sarah and summarised their feelings perfectly too!
You hear so many negatives about the Internet these days, it amazes me daily on here the genuine support, love and friendship that blossoms. I often wonder what it would be like sometimes if I ever managed to got together with my Mini buddies

Aww bless you hun, that's so sweet . I agree the support on mins in genuine and amazing ! I love the idea of a mini mins meet, that would really be lovely . Hope your having a wonderful week !

Kay xx

 

[Gemsta]

Aww bless you hun, that's so sweet . I agree the support on mins in genuine and amazing ! I love the idea of a mini mins meet, that would really be lovely . Hope your having a wonderful week !

Kay xx

I am good all set or a new week and month after weigh in today
We should see if we can generate enough interest for a get together, I know they have done them previously

 

[Kay003]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me so much! I had read it yesterday but didn't have the time to reply properly so i hope you didn't think i was ignoring you or that I didn't appreciate it - because I DID!!

I think you have hit the nail on the head my lovely - I think it because I finally feel like Im nearly back to where I'm my mind I was most happiest in my own skin (trust me I've been happier than ever since being with my OH generally but the way I feel about myself hasn't been my happiest). I feel like because I'm so happy in my day to day life and now its catching up with how i feel about myself its like a ton of emotional bricks have just been taken off me and I'm overwhelmed by it! I just know the day when I get to target I will cry some more - probably when my consultant talks to me!! you have put it so eloquently and that is EXACTLY how I feel!

I tell you what, right at the beginning of us being together (nearly 5 years ago...thats mental!) I certainly felt like he was lucky to have me/and I him but then that shifted for a long time and I felt like I was the lucky one who had such a lovely man by my side who loved me so much. I certainly didn't feel like I deserved it and more importantly like I deserved him (not just because of the weight but because it held me back from doing things, from making friends, from being happy and in turn it isolated us - but mainly it isolated him from others too.) Now I'm beginning to feel like i did at the beginning - we both deserve each other just as much. If I could put it into words better it wouldn't sound as cheesy...or as garbled! Sorry for my ramblings!

Thank you again for taking the time to message me such a wonderful message, it certainly means a lot! xxxx

Hello lovely , sorry I wasn't able to reply properly on the weekend, I was a bit unwell . I'm glad you found my message helpful and could relate. I know exactly what you mean in your last paragraph about the balance in a relationship, being the best we can be, really does help not just with our own self esteem, but it definitely impacts our relationships too with our partner . When I was 16 stone plus, I was in a relationship too, and although my partner at the time was very supportive, it still affected our relationship because of how I felt about myself. I also noticed over time, to make me feel better, he was making compromises, when I would tell him he doesn't have to, he would say he wants to. But even when you have that kind of support, there is still a voice inside you that feels guilty that you are holding someone back. Anyway I could go on, moving to present day .. .. I'm glad your both now in a very happy zone together, and long may it continue Sarah !

I hope you had a lovely weekend and a smashing start to the week ! My week has started off well today, I had weigh in this morning, and let's just say I'm a very happy bunny ! hehe. More about that on my dairy. Speak soon lovely .

Kay xx

 

[Sazmajig]

Hey lovelies - sorry I haven't posted much over the weekend. I have done something to my neck and have basically not been up to much. We did pop out a couple of times for a bit of food shopping and to walk the dog but I've basically had the laziest weekend. I'm off work today because my neck hurts so much. I've been icing it and resting so fingers crossed its ok for tomorrow and getting back to work. Might have a long bath later see if that helps.

I have been 100% on plan this week so fingers crossed I make new numbers this week! Xx

 

[Tigger.88]

Oh no, ouch! Hope your neck is better soon xx

 

[Kay003]

Sorry to hear you've hurt your neck hun, hope you get some rest today and feel better soon .

Kay xx