really struggling the last couple of days. am not looking like i'm going to lose any weight this week, although i do have the weekend left so you never know.
it's mostly because i'm stepping up to level 3 in just over a week, and i was hoping to get to goal before i do. i think i will be pretty close to my weight goal, as i'm pretty close now. the issue is that i'm not at my size goal, and i don't see how i can get there by losing just a couple more pounds.
i'm in a slightly loose 14, and when i started this diet i would have been thrilled at that, but now i'm here, and i'm still the applest-shaped apple ever, i'm not happy. it's not really about the clothes sizes, it's mostly about my shape, and that even though most of me is really quite slim now (!), all it does for me is highlight that i still have the most massive stomach comparatively.
also, i know that when i start eating real food, however low carb/healthy i am i will bloat out a little bit, so it will only get worse.
i have a small hope that exercise will help a bit, and i do plan to exercise when i step up, but i know that exercise can't target fat in any specific place.
so i'm stuck in a loose 14, and i don't think i'm going to be able to move properly to a 12. i bought some 12 trousers in anticipation some time ago, and they do fit, and they're not stupidly tight, but they are unflatteringly tight (muffin-woman!). and even if i lose an inch so they are ok, it means that every time i have a 'fat' day i'll be bursting out of them. i'd rather accept i'm a 14 really than become paranoid that i look fat for the rest of my life when in reality i'm the thinnest i've ever been!
i feel a bit silly being annoyed at all this. after all, i'm the thinnest i've ever been!
i just want thinking about my weight/size all the time to become a thing of the past when i'm off this diet. obviously there'll have to be some moderation applied to food and exercising regularly, but i can do that. i'm confident about that. i just thought that once i was 'normal-sized' i wouldn't look fat anymore, and now i'm not convinced that is true.