Secret Slimming in Paris

Thank you both so so so much for replying in my hour of need!

I did just have a big cry and a bit of a breakdown. Fabien tried to reassure me but it's frustrating because he just doesn't understand, so your support really does mean the world to me!

I just keep self-sabotaging and it's so frustrating. Last time I was so focused for 4 whole months but this time my mind keeps wandering. I was really hoping to be a bit slimmer before going back to work in June and as I was eating coco pops this morning I realised I'm not going to make it if I keep on like this! This time last year I was so on it, my world practically revolved around SW and I did so well, but this time round I'm really struggling for inspiration. I was skyping my Mum yesterday and my face looked so fat I tried to hide behind Clevins the whole time. Depressing.

I've just got a chicken breast out of the freezer that I'll have for lunch with stirfried veg I think. I also need to do a trip to the supermarket to sort myself out I think.

The sun is out and it's a lovely day but I'm feeling so down! I really must pull myself together.

Thanks again lovely ladies xxx
 
Atta girl, you can do this Soph!!! Take Clevins for a nice long walk in the sun.

It is so hard for other halves to understand if they are not in the same position. You have us to off load, we understand perfectly. I am in the zone this week but next week you will be picking me off the floor!!!!!

Have a good day xxxx
 
So I gave Clevins to F to look after and had a much needed hour to myself locked in the bathroom; Got on the scales and things aren't looking good but I have drunk 2L of water since 6am and I try not to overdo it on liquids on weigh day so I'm going to wait for tomorrow to update my stats. I then had another much needed cry (mainly because of the scales) and then had a nice long bath with the fancy products I got for Christmas and was saving for a special occasion (weird concept, I know). I'm now feeling much better and brighter. Clevins and I are going to drive Fabien to his basketball practice now then come home and either go for a walk or have lunch, depending on if I'm hungry or not!

Speak to you very soon! I'm not going to be running away from Minis for a while now! You're going to have to put up with me through thick and thin :Dxx
 
Thanks Michelle, I do feel much better. Yes, this site is amazing!

So, tried to take F to his bball practice but we forgot it's marathon day! All the roads near the sports centre were cordoned off by the police and we were stuck in traffic for ages. In the end, when he was about 30 mins late he called the kids and cancelled and we came back home.

We changed the window wipers on the car and then we went to the supermarket to get some healthy bits & pieces.

I made lunch, I was planning on a stirfry but I decided to use some frozen veg which made it a bit watery so I added some tinned tomatoes and made a sauce. I served it with pasta for F and green beans for me. Here it is:
11139748_10155434661440710_275846744_n.jpg
We picked up some reduced 5% fat burgers so we'll have those and salad for dinner.

I will stay on track this afternoon!xx
 
I'm still quite full from lunch so I've just had a slice of ham and some frozen pineapple for dinner. I might have a yoghurt too but I don't fancy a big meal. Midnight hasn't struck yet but I'm happy with my day today! Hope I can do the same tomorrow....xx
 
Morning all!

Bad news first: I put 2kg on.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Today is a new day! Sun is shining and all is good in the world! F and I had another long heart to heart last night and he helped me to realise I'm putting far too much pressure on myself. We've just had a baby (he isn't even 3 months old yet!) and I want to change countries, find a new job, halve my body weight and have another baby (crazy, I know!) and I want it all now. After talking with him I know it's not possible (obviously) so I'm prioritising. The most important thing has to be my health and so losing weight goes to the top of the list and I'm going to forget about the rest until 2016. Things have a way of happening anyway so if something else comes up naturally (if a job came up in the UK, for example) we'll go with it but I need to focus my energy first on Clevins and secondly on me.

Yesterday I spent some time looking at a vegan eat clean blog. Don't get me wrong, I could NEVER be a vegan, but it has given me some more inspiration for salads etc. I also think I'm going to lay refined carbs to rest for a little while. I could never stop eating potatoes but I could easily go without pasta & rice etc.

I've had such an amazing breakfast. I could eat it everyday!

Breakfast: ham in egg wrap (idea stolen from Charley's diary) with 'fried' mushrooms & grated carrots
Snack: bowl of banana & strawberries with an Activia 0% yoghurt
Lunch: Chicken salad followed by raspberries & pineapple
Snack: banana, slice of chicken, 3 laughing cow triangles (HEA)
Dinner: 5% fat burger with grated carrots, steamed broccoli & courgettes and cauliflower purée.
Snack: yoghurt

Right, Clevins & I are going to head out for a walk! Catch you in a bit! xx
 
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Hey Sophie!
Aww I'm sorry I missed all this over the weekend :( You sound much more positive today! I agree with everyone on here and F and you are putting a LOT of pressure on yourself and all that stuff just can't happen instantly. The thing is though, we all do this! Not so long ago I wanted to be "normal" and cope with my ME, go back to work and instantly be awesome, lose 3 stone NOW, build on my fitness and be able to run and swim again, have a perfectly trained socially acceptable dog, blah, blah, blah.
Don't get me wrong, these things are all doing better, but life is forever a work in progress isn't it? But us humans are rubbish and we want everything perfect and right NOW!
You'll be ok and things will work out, but in time :)
Much love to you.xx
 
It's good to hear you sounding more positive today. You did well to have the talk with F yesterday and realise just how much pressure you're putting yourself under. Take the weightloss gently, gently - which is a healthy way of doing it - and enjoy your time with Clevins. Yes, once we decide to make changes, we want them right now and that just doesn't happen.

I'll be following your 'clean' eating with interest. I rarely have pasta or rice but, like you, I couldn't do without potatoes!
 
Hi Kelly,

Yes, I was being really stupid. My problem is not voicing my concerns/plans. I just let them whiz around in my head but once I'd said them out loud I realised how silly I was being! And it's right what you say, life is a work in progress! Nothing is ever perfect and happiness is just an emotion. I need to slow down and enjoy now, which sounds a bit cliché, but with reason!

Hi Patty, yes, I really do need to just enjoy my time with Clevins - he is so gorgeous and growing far too quickly! I don't think I explained myself very well, I'm definitely not attempting 'clean' eating - far too strict for me! I just enjoyed admiring the pretty pictures on the blog, it motivated me to have more salads and be more adventurous, putting fruit etc in them to mix it up from time to time. But the 'clean' diet the blogger followed was really hardcore, she's vegan and tries to only eat raw produce, which means she only eats raw fruit & veg & nuts. I would miss warm food! Let alone yoghurts and meat etc. No, no clean eating for me! Just less pasta, rice & bread. That'll be a good start!

So I managed to follow through with my food plan with just a few SW snacks added in. I'm pleased with myself! Also Clevins & I went for a 2.5 hour walk this morning in the hot sun (23 degrees!) which was lovely. I did feel down at one point though, it was so warm I wanted to take my cardi off but I hate my arms and so couldn't bring myself to. It's going to be another long summer at work hiding my arms, legs, and all body parts really but still trying to stay cool! I def need to buy some linen trousers etc when I'm back in the UK, kit myself out with some new summer-friendly office attire.

Speak to you tomorrow, lovely ladies!
 
Morning! It's another lovely day here in Paris (23 degrees!) Clevins has his dungaree shorts on and is looking majorly cute! He's just having a nap and then we'll go for a walk.

I had a really nice breakfast at about 6am. I'm hungry again now so having a snack!

Here's the food plan for today:

Breakfast: turkey burger, cherry tomatoes, 'fried' mushroom & egg
Snack: bowl of banana & strawberries
Lunch: steamed trout & broccoli
Snack: strawberries, prawns, 3 laughing cow (HEA)
Dinner: chicken & pork casserole-y thing

xx
 
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We had a really nice walk, we were out for about 1.5 hours and I think we'll go out again in a bit.

Just had lunch but still feeling hungry...I'm going to have a decaf coffee and see if that fills me up a bit! If not I'm going to have to have a fruit fest!

xx
 
Where is everyone today?? It's so quiet!
 
I'm here!

The forum is quiet today but not sure why. My goodness, you were up early. One forgets that little babies need attention so early in the day. I bet Clevins does look cute in his dungaree shorts but is it really that hot? It's been a bit grey and breezy over here today, but the skies have cleared late afternoon, the wind has dropped and it's glorious now so perhaps the promised heatwave has just arrived.

Go you with all the walking! That'll have a beneficial effect.

Can I pick your brains, please? I like a black coffee and usually ask for an americano at home but if I ask for that in France, I usually get bewildered looks and in one little seaside cafe, I ended up with an alcoholic drink of some sort (I thought the 'waitress' gave me an odd look when she took the order)! I try to explain as 'espresso avec plus de l'eau chaud' but there must be a better or correct way. Any help gratefully received. Thanks.
 
Hi Patty! Glad you're here!

Yes - pick away! You need to ask for 'un café allongé' (literally a lengthened coffee). If you wanted a double shot of coffee you'd say "un double café allongé". What you said is completely understandable though...don't know how she brought you alcohol?! xx
 
Yes, no wonder you got a strange look ordering a cocktail at 10am!

Yes, they do need attention early in the morning, today he woke up at 5am, but I can't complain as he'd slept through since 11pm. He's trying to nap now but he keeps hitting himself and waking himself up :rolleyes:. To be honest I do so much walking just to get us out of the house. My friends all have Mon-Fri jobs and I can't go shopping everyday (as much as I'd love to!) so walking fills the day in for us. I do enjoy it too, especially in this lovely weather.

It's another hot hot day today, it'll be 27 degrees this afternoon, Clevins & I had best stay in doors when it gets that hot I think, it can't be comfortable for little babies!

Here's food plan for today;

Breakfast; ham in an egg wrap with cherry tomatoes & mango
Snack: bowl of banana & strawberries
Lunch: big mac in a bowl
Snack: mango & raspberries
Dinner: beef stir fry & yoghurt (2 syns for terriyaki sauce)

xx
 
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So I came across a thread about moderators and abstainers (Patty, I saw you commented on it already!) and I have to say it really struck a chord with me. I'm an abstainer and I have to be an abstainer. Moderation just really doesn't work for me. Last week was a perfect example, I had a bit of peanut butter which was well within my syns but I couldn't leave it at that, I had to have more and more (enough for me to realise I'm intolerant!). It happens to me every time, as soon as I veer off the plan it escalates. I'm actually really relieved to come across it and see that I'm not the only one! It's another reason why I really struggle using my syns, I know if I have one treat that it could very easily lead to me putting on half a stone without realising it! I know you're meant to use syns on SW or it's not really following the plan but I just can't! Perhaps I could incorporate them another way, by using olive oil from time to time or something...definitely something to ponder on!
 
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