sorry but i think you're making excuses for him. a text takes what all of a minute to send. he doesnt have to say anything deep just hello how are you keeping etc. think he's playing with you but i know its hard to resist so good luck with it
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- Thread starter tokenfatgirl
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sorry but i think you're making excuses for him. a text takes what all of a minute to send. he doesnt have to say anything deep just hello how are you keeping etc. think he's playing with you but i know its hard to resist so good luck with it
tokenfatgirl
Member
No i know, and i agree. Thats why im like hmm. But what i mean is that its not actually all that out of the ordinary for him anyway, so isnt necessarily cause of meeting him and he has text since ust not in a while. So i just dont know how to take it.
personally I wouldn't bother any more. As breadbin says, a txt only takes a few seconds or so....if this is how he is now, it'll only get worse! Sorry to say this, but you do deserve someone better...think he's playing you. Unless he can come up with a really really good reason, forget him, move on and upwards.
Good luck
xx
Good luck
xx
tokenfatgirl
Member
Well he text me last night at like 11pm and had only just got home from work, said hes had a really bad few days. I didnt get the text til a bit later though and replied but havent had anything back. Will have to see what happens i guess. Im leaving it up to him to be the first person to text at the moment. At least that way i know if he wants to or not.
kellierocks
Silver Member
ok, and while that is happening, find other men. Go out if you can with mates (who are good at this kind of thing- and if you havent got one, find one) and talk to other men. Does not have to be the biggest stud in the bar, jsut chat to ppl, see what other men are like.
I find when you are open to more than one possibility it helps. Plus, its really easy to get focused on the one person who isnt texting you.
I find when i like a guy a bit i do loads f running, he doesnt seem interested and i get obsessed watching my phone, wondering what i did wrong. Meeting otehr guys stops the single focus, adn u may find he comes running to you.
I find when you are open to more than one possibility it helps. Plus, its really easy to get focused on the one person who isnt texting you.
I find when i like a guy a bit i do loads f running, he doesnt seem interested and i get obsessed watching my phone, wondering what i did wrong. Meeting otehr guys stops the single focus, adn u may find he comes running to you.
Couldn't have said it better myself...
Thank goodness I've been off the dating scene for a long long time now...but when I was wanting to meet men, having a few 'leads' as such also left room for improvement and then not getting obsessed with that 1 phone call/txt or whatever. (didn't even have txting when I was free and single!). Then when things are sorted with one man, obviously I was then off the market so to speak....but the more ppl you talk to the more chance of meeting Mr Right. Get out there and enjoy life.
Good luck
xx
tokenfatgirl
Member
Thanks everyone. Definitely not cutting down my options to just him. Way I see it until we're at a point where we (we as in me and any guy) say that we're officially together, then im not going to limit my options. Not saying ill sleep around with any and every guy, im not like that, obviously by this post. Just like kellierocks said, not going to get obsessed with just him. Really appreciate all your support. Thanks guys and girls xx
Alex_1978
Gold Member
I love this
I'm having similar doubts/thoughts about a man I met a couple of weeks ago. On one hand, he always texts back, seems really keen to meet me, says really nice things etc...On the other hand it's been two weeks since we met, and we haven't spoken or had our first date yet! I know he's VERY busy, but the last text I had from him was on Monday, saying that he should have a free evening one day this week, but he wasn't sure which one......and I've heard nothing since
Instinct tells me that he's not playing games, but I'd just like to know where I'm at. If he is busy, and it's going to be another week or so before we meet, then fine. But if he's not interested anymore then I'd rather just know!!
Men!!!
I love this
On the other hand it's been two weeks since we met, and we haven't spoken or had our first date yet! I know he's VERY busy, but the last text I had from him was on Monday, saying that he should have a free evening one day this week, but he wasn't sure which one......and I've heard nothing since
Instinct tells me that he's not playing games, but I'd just like to know where I'm at. If he is busy, and it's going to be another week or so before we meet, then fine. But if he's not interested anymore then I'd rather just know!!
Men!!!
women!!! there's always two in it remember
why don't you just ask him out or even ask him what he's thinking. i don't know where all the communication is gone. it's sort of like one side waiting for the other to make the moves. communication is probably the single most important part of a relationship so its good to start as you mean to go on i think anyway.
Alex_1978
Gold Member
I did exactly that last friday actually
I sent him a text asking what his thoughts were about meeting up sometime. I said I didn't want to seem pushy because I knew he had been ill and busy, but I just thought I'd mention it.
He replied saying that he'd love to meet up sometime, but that he doesn't get much time to himself in the week, and that he was really busy that weekend (I didn't feel fobbed off, because he also said some other lovely things in that text)
The original plan was that he was going to try to sort something for last weekend, but when that didn't happen, he sent that text on Monday saying that he should be able to find a free evening this week...
And that's where I'm up to. I might text today sometime just to say hello, but I don't really think I should bring up the meeting thing again, considering that I mentioned it last time.
I do know what you mean though...I really hate feeling like this is a game, and that if I play the wrong move it'll all go tits up! I'm normally the kind of person to just get on with it, but I really don't want to let this one slip through my fingers!
judith55
Silver Member
I have never known a guy who is genuinely keen as opposed to just so-so not find the time to text or phone or meet up (just as I would in my generally busy life). You need to decide if you want to carry on with someone who might be diffident about seeing you again or whether you want to wait for someone who's keenness matches your own. I don't do the dating thing any more but female friends who've done the classified/online dating say there are lots of guys out there who seem to be happy to see several women at the same time until someone special comes along. Its not that they don't like you as a person, they're "just not that into you". I'm sure there are women out there doing the same thing but my male friends don't seem to have encountered them yet. Although if it makes you feel better, one of my male friends is the ultimate eligible batchelor - 30s, no kids, wealthy, good looking, funny. BUT he rarely gets a second date!! Talking to him it seems that he is so desperate to settle down that I think he gives off the wrong vibe by trying too hard. Funny old world innit?
well i suppose think of it like this - if he really is the right one for you there are no wrong moves
just as an aside, you know the guy better than anyone here so can't really say for sure but i just find it hard to believe someone is that busy. and even if he is would you want to go out with someone who couldn't make time for you? sorry now for this but its food for thought.
Alex_1978
Gold Member
Discussing it on here must've been a good omen - he text me yesterday afternoon to see if I was free in the evening. I was, so he came round to see me
As things progress (assuming they do progress!) I'll expect him to want to make more time for me (and vice versa), but for now I don't think I'd want things much different than they are now
Fair point...I know he has a very busy and stressful job, which involves very long days and takes him all over the country - that kinda explains the fact that we hadn't met earlier, and why we might not see a lot of each other on a day-to-day basis. That's fine by me because I've not long come out of an intense long-distance relationship, so I don't want anything too full-on in the beginning.
As things progress (assuming they do progress!) I'll expect him to want to make more time for me (and vice versa), but for now I don't think I'd want things much different than they are now
Alex_1978
Gold Member
Not at all, it's good to hear other perspectives
After all, we're all tempted to make excuses for people when we've got the rose tinted glasses on - and it's hard not to cling onto every glimmer of hope, especially when you desperately want it to work out.One thing I suppose I did learn from my last relationship, is that you can't force someone to fall for you - if the chemistry is there, and the circumstances are right, then it stands a good chance of working, if not, then no amount of texting/not texting, calling/not calling will make any difference.
Yeah, I was grinning from ear to ear when he said he was on his way, and even though I was nervous as hell about seeing him, it wasn't half as awkward as I expected it to be (we were both a bit drunk last time we met). He said he was really nervous too, bless
I don't know if he's the love of my life, but for now I'd just like to carry on getting to know him and hopefully have some good times along the way
tokenfatgirl
Member
Glad it went well for you Alex! I on the other hand am giving up now lol
kellierocks
Silver Member
I love this
On the other hand it's been two weeks since we met, and we haven't spoken or had our first date yet! I know he's VERY busy, but the last text I had from him was on Monday, saying that he should have a free evening one day this week, but he wasn't sure which one......and I've heard nothing since
Instinct tells me that he's not playing games, but I'd just like to know where I'm at. If he is busy, and it's going to be another week or so before we meet, then fine. But if he's not interested anymore then I'd rather just know!!
Men!!!
Given that he's new and we cannot judge him YET (haha) take the bull by teh horns ring him and say right when are we meeting? shows ur not the type to play games, and at this stage tehre is nothing to lose, onl;y gain i.e. find out if he's into you!
kellierocks
Silver Member
Judith, have to say, I would run. I'd be so scared that he's lookign fro a mother to his children, plus coupled with my own insecurities about not being good enough, I'd be gone. I know thats wrong.He's probably one of teh best!
kellierocks
Silver Member
Discussing it on here must've been a good omen - he text me yesterday afternoon to see if I was free in the evening. I was, so he came round to see me
I'm so happy- can you keep us updated hahahaha! there are lessons to be learned!
aw sorry to hear that tfg
try and stay positive though even though i know its toughSimilar threads
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