Sick of pretending I'm not fat

Had a cup of tea and alpen bar which is last part of B choice felt abit naughty as I haven't had a biscuit with tea in years as I've always tried not to!

Had a bit of a grump tonight said to bf yay day 3 done, are you proud of me? He said he'd rather I exercise with him as that's healthier than dieting, you know when you just feel disheartened? Like I'm trying here! I know it's only 3 days but I'm still doing well.
I don't want to exercise yet as I feel too self conscious at the size I am but would like to when I've lost a few stone. I just need to concentrate on one thing at a time well apart from work, exams, self employed money worried and family stuff blah blah! Does this make sense? Am I just over sensitive? It doesn't matter and I need to give my head a shake as I'm doing this for me not him and it's not him on the journey!

Night night k
 
Lol the k was a typo!!!!!!
 
I decided to have a naughty breakfast this morning a cheese omelette toasted sandwich is my favourite but I thought I'd be good and put in loads of red onion too..... Ruined! Not nice! Gutted! I've had a toffee Greek yog from Aldi too
 
I hate when you try to be good and add in speed but its makes favourite meal yuk!

Hi im popping over to say Hi! I completely relate to your story - firstly i kidded myself for far too long and didn't really admit to myself that I was the size i was. Kept on saying 'I will not let myself me 13stone, 14stone...15stone...' It was a sudden realisation and a light bulb moment when a new group opened up sept 14 (i didn't joint till end of october as i was a wuss!) and I haven't ever looked back.

I, like you, also have a boyfriend who can eat and eat and eat and not put on any weight. He has been the same weight forever & def throughout our whole relationship - he struggles to put it on. How is that fair?!! LOL

Hope you have a good day :)
 
Saz thanks for coming and saying hello!
It's just frustrating isn't it when everyone around you eats whatever.
Least I tried to be good with breakfast even if it didn't go to plan. Positive steps!
 
Just had leftover shepherds pie and cabbage for lunch, struggling with water today haven't even done a litre. I'm seeing family tonight n they suggested we go out for tea but I declined as said I was being good (not I'm manically trying to survive at least one week on a diet!) and we're having tea at my mums who's going to make a slimming world curry so feeling proud of myseld
 
I kept trying to tell myself I wasn't fat too, I was 20st, could run a mile, had no health issues and felt like a skinny person stuck in a bigger body. Then I fell pregnant so I exercised less, ate more. It wasn't until 2014 when I hit my highest weight (that I know of as I didn't ever weigh myself) of 24.10 and couldn't fit in a chair in the pub that I decided something had to be done, I can fit in the chair now, but only just.
Well done for drinking so much, that's something I really struggle with as I'm never thirsty and have to get my OH to remind me to drink or I never would.
 
Hi J
I'm terrible for drinking normally easily go a full day with one cup of tea n one glass of juice! Ended up in hospital when I was younger with dehydration and still doesn't occur to me! I think I said further up I got a Buxton bottle of water that's 1 litre and aim to drink 1 before lunch and another before I leave the office them one on an evening to make me have 3! Seems to help I'm just about to finish my third so on track today!

Had a yummy yummy tea tonight. Curry made with tin of chick pea Dahl, passata, tin of tomatoes, onions and peppers then a whole bag of spinach in, with rice and broccoli on the side. Just wack it all in the slow cooker perfect and shed loads left for tomorrow when it'll be Evan nicer cos it'll of thickened!

Got home n housie has made me lunch for tomorrow rice, salmon, broccoli and mange tout again yummy!

Can happily say day 4 done! X
 
was in a rush this morning so just had scrambled egg and one piece of toast, then had a banana when I got into work - Ive had 1 litre juice before lunch.
Just having lunch now its pretty bland but ok.

Annoyed as my meeting ran a lot later than expected and Ive left my mobile at home which is very annoying in my job! Means I have to go home before I go onto my appointment which is opposite direction and considering I packed everything this morning so I didn't have to go home!

Ahh well, still resisted the chocolates in the office!
 
Thanks J
Really I should bring in all our snacks from home but at the moment theyre not bothering me - sometimes when stuffs there its ok as I have the choice to have it but when its removed then it annoys me its not there and I want it more? Don't know if that makes sense or its just twisted lol.
 
Lol, my OH eats crisps and sweets in bed and they smell delicious, I'm pretty sure I'd be happy if they weren't there.
 
God I couldn't cope with them being eaten near me lol I just need to have the options!

I'm trying to study, I'm at my mums planned on having left over curry...... There isn't any! I left the leftover shepherds pie at my house gutted!

There's talk of a Chinese but I'm in a grump as her favourite is beef and mushroom which is only 4/5 syns I think whereas I like satay which they can't give syns for as it varies too much between takeaways so I'd probably have to have a chowmein which is abit rubbish for practically )7
 
Sorry not sure if posts are posting or if they've posted several times!
My complaint was chow mein at £7!
Bl**dy hell though further research has shown chow mein is now about 24 syns!!
 
Hello... Just having a read!

Well done you on your positive start... I'm just trying to get back on track after putting on 11lbs over Xmas. I was 18 stone 8lbs at my heaviest and have spent most of my adult life going up and down with my weight! For the first time in about 15 years, I can see a healthy BMI on the horizon!!!!

Anyway - re your dinner - What about beef in black bean sauce? SW Website has that down at 8 syns for a restaurant dish?
 
Hello Cheshire thanks for popping by!
I just feel like it's constant! Spend forever losing weight then putting it back on its so unfair that the hard work and always thinking about everything you eat is forever!

Huge congratulations to you on doing so well! How much have you lost if you don't mind me asking? Any top tips?!

I like black bean sauce but not the actual beans lol x
 
Soooo shock horror I had the chow mein 24syns and 5 prawn crackers which are 1.5 so I'm just going to round up to 30. As its Friday I did have 75 syns as I haven't had any treats but have just thought as I'm not counting syns for tomato sauce or butter on toast they're all coming out of weekly syns soooooo I should be ok and still within limits?! At least I didn't get chicken fried rice and chips with curry sauce!

On a good point I have finished my 3 litres juice
 
J it used to be 8/9 but apparently was retested and it's high and 24/25 now. It wasn't worth it but was packed full of vegetables so that's something. X
 
Just had a lovely breakfast/brunch at mums. Bacon, beans, scrambled eggs and 2 hash browns (3 syns) and had a litre of juice.

Good start food wise.... Bad revision wise! Ended up just chatting with mum and watched iron man 3 then all morning we've just chatted! Miss living with her lots as she's so lovely x
 
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