Size 10 screaming to get out!!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The horror!!!! It was utter gluttony. Right, no need to tell any of you that this is going to involve a large amount of food porn. It's not pretty but I shall be honest...

Right, Friday I had hoped I would get away with it all and stick to diet as got to Bristol late and, hurrah, my friend Karin wasn't drinking alcohol. Had 3 packs, bit of chicken, a few dozen Coke zeros ;) throughout day. However, when I got there she said "well I suspect you haven't had dinner" because of the horribly long coach journey and presented me with a bowl of pasta with bacon, mushrooms, spinach and creme fraiche. Couldn't really be rude when she'd gone to that effort could I? Although usually very open about diet, strangely didn't want to tell her or Emma. Ate it (yummy), had one cup of tea (mmmmm) and one horrible glass of wine. Room span. Good sleep. Got up and watched some Saturday Morning Kitchen :).

Saturday I knew I was going to have a big dinner but didn't vouch on spending entire day eating :eek:. Breakfast consisted of 2 small cookies in front of the TV with Karin under the duvet and 2 squares of Cadburys on the drive to Bradford-upon-Avon (delish but not overly healthy brekkies admittedly). I thought we may get away with lunch and almost got bar out with relief but ended up in nice pub. Now this annoys me as I could easily have had salad, soup, a bit of pate (like Karin) or even my bar but NO, I ordered a tuna baguette AND chips to boot. I didn't even really want that - just slipping into old habits I guess. And I ate it all. Erm, followed by an ice-cream whilst we took the baby out for a walk. Dinner was hugely delishy Thai red curry with one and a half bowls of jasmine rice, started off by pork dumplings, a glass of sparkly and 3 glasses of Sauvignon. Oh, and a glass of rose when I got back and sat up til 2am speaking to Emma's boyfriend about politics...!! Woken up at 4am by screaming baby - how do people do this I wonder?? Needless to say I finished off entire curry and rice, finished Karin's rice as well, and they both took some home as they were full.

Today I woke up thinking "today is a different day. Today I can get back on it". Then promptly had 2 pain au chocolats for brekkies with Emma (it was either that or fry-up) and then beer battered fish and chips with mushy peas at a lovely pub with a glass o' vino (what the hell). I hurriedly had to get the coach back (cancelling chocolate torte order and leaving my 2nd glass o' wine) and then felt massively ill all the way home on the coach, falling asleep and arriving in Chelmers with a horrible headache (food hangover?? The wine??). Have had a Coke zero (have missed it!!) and am motivated yet apprehensive about starting up again tomorrow. Don't fancy another "day 3" experience on Wednesday :( and feel I have really impacted on weight loss (well, obviously).

Although I knew I was going to eat this weekend, I do feel slightly peeved with myself a) because I actually feel physically ill and dehydrated (water input minimal) and b) because there were so many opportunities to say no, to eat less or to order better choices and I didn't, proving really that nothing has changed and I'm still a gluttonous cretin. There is NO WAY I am weighing in until Thursday when I hope, everything crossed, that I have not put anything on. Mind you, I just got changed and it doesn't look too bad...

Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend and managed to not fall off the wagon in such spectacular style as me. Ah well, Monday tomorrow...xx
 
JennieC said:
Hope you had an amazing weekend Jubbly :) I look forward to the food porn upon your return ;) xx
Click to expand...

Ha, see above re food porn!!! I had a fabulous weekend, not because I was eating but because I spent time with wonderful friends and fell in love with my friend's baby, who is beautiful and smily and cheeky (and I don't even like babies...!). Plus the town she lives in is gorgeous. Good times :D xx
 
....oh no, totally gutted that Sky + has not recorded Eurovision for some reason. And had been looking forward to that all day (and avoiding any talk of who won at coach station). Boo-hoo :(:(:(.
 
Oh yes, might catch bits of it tomorrow evening as too late now and splitting headache is forcing me to bed in a mo. I checked who won and listened to it on YouTube - absolutely terrible, no doubt all the other Eastern European countries voted for it and that's how it won? Even Blue's song was better!!! Need to find a cheeky little "traditional" number - they are the best ones :D xx
 
Aaaaahh jubbly! Sounds like you had an awesome weekend! You reminded me of when I had an entire cheesecake and chocolates to boot, and everyone else either had a spoonful or nothing at all and I was the one on the diet lol! Don't beat yourself up about it. It would have Bren very rude to refuse food if your friend made it for you and I wouldve done the same. At least this shows a very important lesson that there is still work to do in terms of changing our eating habits once we hit the refeed stage! I hope you slowly enjoyed every morsel of food (yum yum, chips and baguette!! Jealous!) and thar you're ready to hop back onto the bandwagon. :)
 
Sorry for the obvs spelling mistakes, iPhone has a mind of its own! Xx
 
Hey Lozza, I am indeed ready to hop back - eating scares me a bit and now I'm going to fall into safe, predictable and secure bars, Coke zero and funny tasting new chocolate shakes!! It's a relief to be honest. One bar down already - I may have 2 today which is a bit naughty but may be hungry after all the food this weekend.

Yes there are definitely food issues to be sorted out :(. I would like it all to be suddenly fine after a month of dieting but if it was that easy, I'd have never put on so much of what I lost in the first place. Don't be jealous of my baguette - I felt guilty with every mouthful and in any event, the tuna mayo was really cold like it had been sitting in the fridge for ages and that wasn't very nice....xx
 
Uh oh, it's only 12.15pm and I've had 2 bars already. Shake tonight. At least I'm getting quite a bit of water down me today. Actually not even that hungry to be honest and feel a bit eurgh...xx
 
Hi Jubbly,

Just read your whole blog and it really made me laugh and gave me some inspiration so thanks for that. I'm only on day 3 (is it only day 3 - OH Gooood!:cry:) so hearing that weight loss does happen is very useful right now. I know it probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but you've done so well to get to where you are so congratulations. Ok so you've had a bit of a blip, but just make sure it stays that (a blip) because it doesn't have to undo all your good work. You can't choose what you ate on Saturday (its done now - sod it), but you can choose what you eat this afternoon and tomorrow and you haven't made that decision yet. GET BACK ON IT - think of your sexy size 10 self!

The other thing it made me think of is what you said about food choices. My friend (whose a nice friend, not one who tries to sabotage diets out of nastiness - and I've got some of those it turns out) says that what she worries about with this diet is just that - it doesn't help me learn to make the right food choices as I have those made largely for me while on the diet.

My question is how can we learn how to make sensible food choices while on this diet so we don't just go mental when provided with choice. I tried looking at a menu to decide what 'sensible choice' I would make yesterday but all I found myself doing was nearly fainting with lust over the cheesecake. Has anyone any ideas?!

Love your work Jubbly!
 
Hello Amelia-May, lovely to see a new face on my diary!!! I (unfortunately) am an old hand at VLCDs and have a bit of knowledge on the old "trying-to-make-yourself-eat-healthier-when-you've-finished" thing. Your friend has a point - I've always felt that diets like Weight Watchers are much better at re-teaching you healthy habits. Having said that, anyone, no matter what diet, can put the weight back on. When I was on Cambridge, it explained so much better how to "refeed" whereas Exante seems to not feel impelled to explain this to it's clients, doing them a great disservice in my opinion.

The way I look at it is that the first time I did VLCD I was on it for a lot longer and followed everything about the refeed to the letter. I learnt that I needed to cut down carbs, I made a plan to stick(ish) to GI and weigh foods (portion sizes=my enemy), I had that long time to figure it out and read about it online, read recipe books etc and basically educate myself about healthy eating. I learned to eat good food in moderation and would still eat out once a week with my friend and have whatever I wanted, but cut back the day after. I learned about stir frying veggies so I would actually eat them (!) and cut down on processed food by shopping more regularly. I spoke about my weight loss to others (constantly) and maintained the motivation by buying nice clothes and feeling better about myself. Looking at menus beforehand is a good idea - I have already done the same for my meal out this weekend - but when faced with a large choice and feeling like you want to "treat" yourself, it's often easy, like I did with the baguette and extra chips, to slip into old habits :(. But I guess the only sensible advice I have is to PLAN, PLAN and PLAN more about healthier option meals you would like, what maintenance diet is going to work best for you and what you are prepared and not prepared to give up or reduce. At the end of the day if we were able to control eating we wouldn't be here in the first place. You WILL be able to eat cheesecake again but it just needs to be in moderation, when you will probably enjoy it more anyway. I'm not really an authority I guess as I'm sadly back on here again but I think we all at heart know what we should and shouldn't eat and where we go wrong but sometimes feel controlled by evil forces beyond our understanding such as emotional eating.

I hope that gives you some understanding from my point of view? I really messed up this weekend and am annoyed but so long as I get back on it again and keep losing then it's just a learning experience. I feel I can't get away from that tendency to wanting to "treat" myself as I was away but I still feel that it could have been worse - I didn't have a tub of ice-cream or a pizza after all!! I guess only the scales on Thursday will know the truth...!!! xx
 
More thoughts on "after VLCD":

*Keeping (honest ;)) food diaries
*Maintaining your weigh-in day and writing your results down (denial is the enemy!!!!) on a spreadsheet
*Keeping blogs running, keep going on Minis and updating others of your maintenance (I plan to do this on this occasion and not just disappear again!!)
*Taking up exercise so you can be more generous with calories
*Seeking support from others whilst on and off diet
*Recipe books, make lots of new different things, learn about food, make lower calorie/carb/fat version of favs
*Scales for weighing food essential and no "adding a bit extra in"
*Re-reading diaries/blogs of when you were on diet and remembering how good it felt to lose weight (I still look at my old one occasionally, makes me feel motivated)
*Helping others with losing weight - I seriously considered becoming a CDC when on Cambridge but didn't have the capital!!
*Write down the reasons why you must not put weight back on, put it somewhere you can keep referring to it
*Not catastrophising when you eat some chips!!
*Not obsessing over the scales
*Recognise when you have changed your eating habits and are slipping into old patterns
*Give yourself a MAXIMUM weight you are prepared to go to before re-addressing lifestyle/diet (and don't keep upping it like I did!!)
 
Wow - they do sound like good tips. Particularly the one about denial - "oh I'm not a 10 any more, well I am a student so I'll take a 12 - oh I don't fit the 12, ho hum I'll get a 14 - oh look I don't fit a 14 ho hum pass me the 16 - oh dear the 16 is snug, oh well pass me the 18" is basically me shopping over the past 5 or so years. If I ever get back to a size 10 again I'm going to stick my 'before' picture in my wallet and vow to look at it if a size 10 ever doesn't fit again (except in silly shops like Jane Norman).

Maybe I'm in denial again, or just a bit stubborn, but I don't want to be on a 'maintenance diet'. I just want to eat what I want, but for what I want to be healthy and sensible - is that so wrong!

My problems not so much with portion sizes as with grazing - I seem to feel I deserve rewarding for getting through every hour of work. Not helped by the fact that I'm a team administrator so all cakes/chocs etc are left on my desk because its at the entrance. Then they (food) sit there looking at me. They're there now. Stupid cupcakes and their stupid pink icing. :sigh: Sorry - if I want to rant I should probably set up my own blog really.

How is this afternoon going with you? You sound more on track in your later posts - you're right that helping others seems to motivate you (and its much appreciated).:) You should definitely think about becoming a counseller at the end of all this - is it easier with exante?
 
Where is our food porn missy??? ;)
 
I got them to move the tuck shop at work far away from me as it was previously next to me. What starts as a "oooh, I fancy a choccie bar today" one day turns into "I'll get a choccie bar and maybe a pack of Hula Hoops as well at 3pm EVERY DAY whether I really want it or not".

A photo of me at my thinnest in my wallet is a fabulous idea. It depresses me that when I look at my Facebook pictures they are heavily edited so nobody knows how much weight I've put on!!

When I say "maintenance diet" I don't think I'm specifically talking about a "DIET". I mean we're all following a diet of sorts, whether that's a "healthy eating" diet or a "pizza and beer" diet!! Being healthy and sensible is the absolute way to go - it's that for me I had to recognise that there were changes I had to make and most of these involved some tweaking of carb consumption, whether making it brown pasta or measuring it out.

This afternoon I'm OK although there is a bit of hunger nagging away at me that I'm ignoring and trying to suppress with a thousand litres of water...xx
 
carly82 said:
Where is our food porn missy??? ;)
Click to expand...

Heehee, page 19, about 3 posts up from the bottom (have since got carried away waffling as usual!!). But be warned -there's talk of cookies, fish and chips, pain au chocolat, Thai curry, ice-cream and wine.....(all went horribly wrong)!!

Hope all's going well with the very strict, 100% and no deviating TS'ing Carly? xx
 
Oops, crossed replies....;)

And don't worry, I'd never deprive you of the food porn!!! xx
 
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