Size 10 screaming to get out!!

Well we spend so much time with each other and he was sooo excited about having old friends down on Sunday - people had travelled from Wolverhampton and Wales bless 'em - so that was cool and he was so happy. But I was the one doing the preparing (in fairness to him, he mowed the lawn), the cooking and the "hosting". And then I sat there looking around realising that all these people were his friends and that, oh yes, I remembered, I haven't actually got any friends and have to get his sloppy seconds :(. Oh dear, moan, moan, moan.....

If I'm totally honest that's not entirely true as there were 4 people there that we've both known for the same amount of time. But we only know them through one of Boo's friends from Suffolk!!! Does it even matter?? I'm sure it doesn't?? WHY is it so important to me????

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.
 
I feel like this a lot Jubbly. Cos we move around a lot for James's job I never know anyone, but never feel like I can complain as I agreed that for 2 years we would follow his career around and I was fine with it. Thing is, I'm mostly fine with it but some days I really am not lol. I sometimes resent that I have to drive an hour to college (and it used to be 2 and a half!) while he gets driven by me to work on my days off, I resent that he gets to go on business trips and have nice meals out and socialise with people while I stay at home, I resent that all my peers at college are applying for training contracts but I can't cos I don't know where we will be living for the next year, and I worry that I will have got all this education and then not even be able to be a solicitor. Haha. But the worst thing is deffo that whenever we socialise, apart from family which is pretty even either way, it is his people from work and I am just a spare part, yet it is me who cleans the house, plans the menu, cooks the food, sits there eating hardly any of it yet trying still not to look like weird diet person, hosts and smiles at everyone all night, tidies and cleans up, makes the coffees and drives people home. Haha. I really really miss my friends from university and home too, but it's difficult to go see them a lot because of having no money and only one car between us, and we're a bit far away now for them to come to us.

Ah Jubbs I'm back to ranting on your diary again. Haha. The point (if I ever even made it?!!) was to say I understand about only hanging out with bf's friends when you've made all the effort, and perhaps the wondering if he'd make the same effort for yours. Lol. xx
 
Oh Jubs :(
I'm your friend!!! Don't forget our at goal Nando's date missy!!! ;)

I understand that hun must be hard, but like you say does it really matter who's friends they are if you get on well and enjoy each other's company? xxxx

chin up skinny xxx lots of love

Oh and shhhhhh but Taco is your friend not his ;)
 
carly82 said:
Oh Jubs :(
I'm your friend!!! Don't forget our at goal Nando's date missy!!! ;)
Click to expand...

Nandos is ON, I know what I'm gonna have already :D.

carly82 said:
Oh and shhhhhh but Taco is your friend not his ;)
Click to expand...

Heehee :D. Wish I could put piccie in but ran out of stupid credit and not sure how to get it from phone to computer (really am massive techno-incompetent!!). xx
 
Sorry about your frustrations Jubbly! Maybe that is why you have fallen off the wagon a little recently? Usually frustration and sadness do that for me.

Excellent work sticking to it now though! :)
 
Jubbly said:
Nandos is ON, I know what I'm gonna have already :D.



Heehee :D. Wish I could put piccie in but ran out of stupid credit and not sure how to get it from phone to computer (really am massive techno-incompetent!!). xx
Click to expand...


Woooooo Hooooooo @ Chickeny goodness :)

LOL awwww I wants to seeee :)
 
JennieC said:
I feel like this a lot Jubbly. Cos we move around a lot for James's job I never know anyone, but never feel like I can complain as I agreed that for 2 years we would follow his career around and I was fine with it. Thing is, I'm mostly fine with it but some days I really am not lol. I sometimes resent that I have to drive an hour to college (and it used to be 2 and a half!) while he gets driven by me to work on my days off, I resent that he gets to go on business trips and have nice meals out and socialise with people while I stay at home, I resent that all my peers at college are applying for training contracts but I can't cos I don't know where we will be living for the next year, and I worry that I will have got all this education and then not even be able to be a solicitor. Haha. But the worst thing is deffo that whenever we socialise, apart from family which is pretty even either way, it is his people from work and I am just a spare part, yet it is me who cleans the house, plans the menu, cooks the food, sits there eating hardly any of it yet trying still not to look like weird diet person, hosts and smiles at everyone all night, tidies and cleans up, makes the coffees and drives people home. Haha. I really really miss my friends from university and home too, but it's difficult to go see them a lot because of having no money and only one car between us, and we're a bit far away now for them to come to us.

Ah Jubbs I'm back to ranting on your diary again. Haha. The point (if I ever even made it?!!) was to say I understand about only hanging out with bf's friends when you've made all the effort, and perhaps the wondering if he'd make the same effort for yours. Lol. xx
Click to expand...

Sorry but "weird diet person" made me giggle :D.

Boo would probably make the effort with my friends - it's just that there aren't that many as I have (entirely through my own choice) moved around a lot in the last few years. He's good mates with most of my friends - in fact seemingly better friends with some of them now than I am ha!!

My situation is sightly different - he has actually moved to be with me but I am only here myself as I was in danger of losing my job and thought "what the hell, haven't lived in Essex before" and just randomly went for it before I was really serious with him. So neither of us know anyone here and living in the middle of the countryside, although it's beautiful, it's very difficult to meet people. His parents and friends are all in Suffolk just over an hour away and he regularly goes back to see them. I lived in the same town as him when I met him (went there with an ex originally) but I lost a few friends there when I started going out with Boo (a v long story akin to Jeremy Kyle and basically not really my fault). This has led to horrendous amounts of resentment on my part that he constantly goes back, has a great time back home, says he loves it, told me before he missed it too much, misses his family (the pub more like) and wanted to go back - and it's so hard to compete against that on my ownsome. I used to have my own life in Suffolk but now when we go back I'm just "Boo's girlfriend" (everyone in the town knows him) and his family bore me and I suddenly feel like I have no roots or home. Anyway, that's all blah, I don't even know why I'm writing all this here. Needless to say JennieC, I really feel for you - I think that in your situation you have far more reason to feel resentful.

Boring stuff over. Let's talk food...!!! xx
 
Last edited:
Oh god, I've just had a major trauma reading all of this on here :( Will I feel like this too when my man moves to be with me in a few weeks?? I hope not but now I'm definitely a bit more worried than I was.........

On the plus side, we can always rely on Jubbly for some loverly food porn......hmmmmmm x
 
Oh Jennie and Jubbles- I completely empathise with you both and am sending big hugs your way. I'm in Essex Jubbly so if you need a mate then PM me and lets meet up for coffee and water!!! xx
 
Well Carly, you are a kindred spirit then. I often feel like I am being unreasonable but it really does challenge your self-esteem feeling like you have to compete for their affections doesn't it? They do it to keep us on our toes I reckon!

Today I finally manned up and stood on the scales after thinking about what you were all saying. It is not too bad. I'm 9 stone 8 lb BUT last week I was 9 stone 7 lb with a few numbers on the end and this time there was a 0 on the end of the 8 lb so I think I've only put on a few ozs. AND I'm on TOTM so I'm not too sad about it. However I've made some strange rule with myself that I will count tomorrow as my "official" WI and if I'm still the same as last week then I don't have to change my ticker. Otherwise if I'm the same as today I will have to change it :(. Strange bending of rules but nevermind - that goal is still in sight and it means when I am maintaining I can still have cakes on occasion!!

Mmmmm, I'm going to have my delicious sirloin steak tomorrow night, I'm looking forward to that. Might get some spinach and peppercorn sauce to go with it. Getting Taco tomorrow eek!!! Last night of freedom tonight. xx
 
namaste said:
Oh god, I've just had a major trauma reading all of this on here :( Will I feel like this too when my man moves to be with me in a few weeks?? I hope not but now I'm definitely a bit more worried than I was.........

On the plus side, we can always rely on Jubbly for some loverly food porn......hmmmmmm x
Click to expand...

No it's unlikely you will feel the same because each situation is entirely different. My man, as lovely as he is, has NEVER moved away from his town - his entire family have not moved out of Suffolk - his dad won't even go to IPSWICH about 20 minutes away as it's too busy for him (seriously)!!!! Boo knows everyone in the town so it is his comfort zone - he is coming from a, bless, rather sheltered perspective. And also at the end of the day, he chose to come and live with me. There have been hiccups and it hasn't been easy but he is much happier here now he has started tackling the garden and got a new job that he loves. He has even started talking about going into partnership with his boss - he would never in a million years talked about that if he was still in Suffolk. So there are positives but me being little insecure and needy me feels concentrates purely on the negative and thinks it's the end of the world!! It really would help if I got out and did some more stuff - broadening my self-identity - hence the puppy is a good start!! xx
 
God I love this forum, it's better than therapy. Haha. Is it wrong that I feel so much better just knowing not everyone else is super happy? Haha that sounds awful but I think sometimes I just place too much expectation on life. Reading back over my last post I sound really whiney and ungrateful :( I really shouldn't lose sight of the bigger picture which is that I love James, I am married to James, and all I wanted before we lived together was to live with him!! And it is great living with him, most nights it is just us and we have a great time. I don't really need a huge amount of friends when I live with my best one lol. Strange emotions, I blame this diet and excess estrogen and TOTM :D

I know what you mean about men who are stuck to their home too Jubbs, James has progressed so much more in life than if he had stayed at home near his mum. This probably (and I suspect does) mean his family think I am awful pushy wife (better than weird diet wife I suppose :D) but then it's easy for them to be laid back, they are literally millionaires haha. Only just, but still, hugely rich. But they don't give any to us (and nor should they, though they did lend me the money for law school fees to be fair) so of course James and I need to be ambitious and work hard! It's great about Boo maybe going into partnership though Jubbly, exciting times!

Also, wooooooo Taco!! xxx
 
Jubbly said:
Well Carly, you are a kindred spirit then. I often feel like I am being unreasonable but it really does challenge your self-esteem feeling like you have to compete for their affections doesn't it? They do it to keep us on our toes I reckon!

Today I finally manned up and stood on the scales after thinking about what you were all saying. It is not too bad. I'm 9 stone 8 lb BUT last week I was 9 stone 7 lb with a few numbers on the end and this time there was a 0 on the end of the 8 lb so I think I've only put on a few ozs. AND I'm on TOTM so I'm not too sad about it. However I've made some strange rule with myself that I will count tomorrow as my "official" WI and if I'm still the same as last week then I don't have to change my ticker. Otherwise if I'm the same as today I will have to change it :(. Strange bending of rules but nevermind - that goal is still in sight and it means when I am maintaining I can still have cakes on occasion!!

Mmmmm, I'm going to have my delicious sirloin steak tomorrow night, I'm looking forward to that. Might get some spinach and peppercorn sauce to go with it. Getting Taco tomorrow eek!!! Last night of freedom tonight. xx
Click to expand...

Yeah I do feel guilty but it makes me appreciate him more :) I'm at uni in Oxford he's at UCL so he has to commute and get the train etc feel so bad :(
Oh that's great news weight wise well done :)
Yayyyy at getting Taco, have you bought insurance yet?? Buy it now x
 
Jubbly said:
No it's unlikely you will feel the same because each situation is entirely different. My man, as lovely as he is, has NEVER moved away from his town - his entire family have not moved out of Suffolk - his dad won't even go to IPSWICH about 20 minutes away as it's too busy for him (seriously)!!!! Boo knows everyone in the town so it is his comfort zone - he is coming from a, bless, rather sheltered perspective. And also at the end of the day, he chose to come and live with me. There have been hiccups and it hasn't been easy but he is much happier here now he has started tackling the garden and got a new job that he loves. He has even started talking about going into partnership with his boss - he would never in a million years talked about that if he was still in Suffolk. So there are positives but me being little insecure and needy me feels concentrates purely on the negative and thinks it's the end of the world!! It really would help if I got out and did some more stuff - broadening my self-identity - hence the puppy is a good start!! xx
Click to expand...

Aww hun that is great about his work :) glad he has some ambition :) I'm sure he is happy or he wouldn't be there :)
 
I am hoping to move away from my hubby's hometown when we're done with college. Right now we rely on his mom to help us with his dad while we're in school, but she also feels this need to call every night and, being her daughter-in-law I find her to be a nag!!

Keep up the good work Jubbs :)
 
missfortissimo said:
I am hoping to move away from my hubby's hometown when we're done with college. Right now we rely on his mom to help us with his dad while we're in school, but she also feels this need to call every night and, being her daughter-in-law I find her to be a nag!!

Keep up the good work Jubbs :)
Click to expand...

Ekkkk I'm so glad mine is over an hour away lol
 
Sorry to butt in -i sympathise, wish mine was in a different country!

Sent from my Desire HD using MiniMins
 
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