Hello gang!!!
Sorry I have not been around a lot lately but it's mental at work (so have to do some work for a change
and I was running around like some headless chicken trying to get ready, pack and not to forget anything!!(trying girls! trying!!!)
After two weeks of eating "normal" food (although with my post-CD mind frame "normal" food couldn't be different from what I used to perceive as one) I decided to actualy get back on CD810 (which probably will be 1000 over Easter) as (wait for it) I am missing the way CD made me feel...
Admitedly, I am eating low carbs and high protein food (with ocasional treat, which is quickly balanced by compromising other food intake) but all this unlimited choice and making decisions as to what to have and trying to balance things out makes me really weary...
I've been missing my little routine and feeling "clean". My body got used to not having to deal with all different type of food - my mind got used to receiving balanced amount of vitamins....
Now, I have to go out and think about nutritional content of food and make sure that I take supplements as I know for a fact that it's impossible for me to balance it right...It's all this fuss...
No, I don't feel guilty when I go out and get big box of popcorn or pizza (although the thought of a number of saturated fat consumed in one go makes me aware that next couple of days will need to be "back to basic") I don't feel guilty eating crap sometimes because I know that if I start to dwell on it it would mean that I start seeing my whole weight loss project as a failure which can potentialy mean that I lose control...
CONTROL is the key world.
And I cherish each day I manage to control my body. This could be anything. I used to be someone who once food/treat bough couldn't even wait to get home to have some... I used to be someone who would lose any sense of control seeing food...
Now, I play many mind games - I'll buy something I like and I know I'll have it...just not yet...I'll set a time scale and have it not now but next day or will keep a treat until weekend. Just a thought of something being so readily available, yet myself not being even bothered with it gives you such a tremendous buzz that's unbelivable...
Yesterday was my first day back on shakes...And by the mid day I started feeling this well known feeling of hunger. But this time it's not a niuisance - it's very welcomed feeling. It makes polishing my techniques more interesting and challenging. I no longer crave food - I crave control and thoroughly enjoy my journey to slim-dome.
Flying back home tonight and spending there whole week will be one of the biggest tests ever. And I am very much looking forward to it, applying what I've learnt so far and being able to stay in control.
It doesn't mean saying no to everything, it means saying yes when I feel like - not when my body pushes me to. And that's a BIG difference from where I started to where I am.
I read previous post and I see you guys are struggling atm...But have to say that YOU (not anyone else) are making it more difficult to yourselves...I was in the same boat. I wanted to do CD - yet still would have a blip now and then and think it's OK.
I'm affraid IT'S NOT...By bliping you are taking your body out of ketosis and you are back in the square one. By drinking you are completely stopping fat burning (not to mention it's really really dangerous to your kidneys and might leave irreversible damage) but also it cost you so much money and it's all wasted.
There's no half measures with CD - you either give it 100% or you go and find something else. (trust me - I learnt a hard way) It just doesn't work if you don't stick to it.
I think it's one of the most amazing diets but you do really have to all you can. Now I know it's better to take your time to read and research this diet and get mentally ready BEFORE you start. You have to feel strong enough to fight your internal weaknesss. This diet is more than just a diet it's actualy a big journey for your inner strenght and revisiting your relationship with food...I'd strongly advise anyone struggling to take a long time to think why are they doing it and get their heads in a right place.
CD done by the book it's absolutely amazing. OK, you have to SURVIVE first three crappy days but once you there it's a breeze...
By not sticking to it you kinda stay in this crappy phase for most of your CD time and that's what makes most ppl fail (or blip)
Seriously, if you can push yourself this far you'd be fine on your maintenance route...and that's when everything you learn from the journey - you'll put into practice.
I still have over a stone to my goal, but guess what, I KNOW I'll deal with it once I am back on ss. And tbh I really can't wait...
I wish my CDC took time at the very beginning and at least made an effort trying to explain this to me...
Thanks god for minimins....
Have a good shrinking Tuesday my loveliest xxxx
