OK, this is going to sound mad but I'm probably getting married this December. It's a long story but think I should share.
You may remember me from slim and save, or Cambridge or even JUDDD. I started slim and save once, lost 2 stones, gained some back, tried slim and save again. Didn't work out as I was scared of my hair loss etc. then began eating with calorie counting and hair began growing back. I got tests done at belgravia and all came out normal and said it was cos of my vlcd. Then I went for Cambridge as I wanted a counsellor and I was lucky enough to have the most wonderful counsellor who is an actual therapist. But I hated the packs. Really couldn't take to them so I would have packs one day, normal food (fish, chicken and bread!) on others and think I was unintentionally doing JUDDD, the alternative day diet. I ended up losing 6lbs my first week and would've stuck to it cos it's soooooo easy BUT...
... I'm getting married and more than likely it will be this December. It's all a bit of a shock. My ex and I have always been friends but we broke up a couple of years ago because he couldn't take my negative self talk and lack of self esteem. I suffer from mild social anxiety so it's not like I'm a social butterfly anyway and he totally accepted that and loved me regardless. However, he just couldn't take my anger towards myself and constantly berating myself so after many arguments, he upped and left. We have children together so we talked now and again and have a laugh but I didn't see him often as he'd pick the kids up from school one week and drop them back there and I'd do the same the following week. We never ever had issues with co-parenting etc and just got on with it. He always said he'd want to give us another chance when he felt I started loving who I was. So.... Today I had to attend an event that he was at. I saw a woman by his side who I thought was his new girlfriend. Turns out she was his kid brothers girlfriend who had business connections with the event. Anyway, we spoke for ages at the event but I didn't ask him if she was his girlfriend until I got home and he called. He said it was like he was chatting to the old Sia again and he wants us to make a go of things. It may seem like its too much, too soon but it really isn't like that. We didn't fall out over anything but my attitude.
I've worked hard to become more positive not for him but mainly for me and my mum who has cancer but is fighting it (go mama!). I'm also doing something (or trying to) about my weight and really want to make a change.
Anyway, he said we are long overdue for our wedding. I halted wedding preparations 2 Decembers ago because I didn't want to be overweight on my wedding day. He wants to get married on his grandparents wedding anniversary which falls in December and if things go ok between us, it'll probably be this December.
Soooo, I'm basically shocked, nervous, super excited and now have a real motivation to get the last couple of stones off. Technically I could do JUDDD but I really want to have my ideal wedding dress by September so I can spend the last 2 months on other stuff and not panic. So I've decided to keep my cambridge counsellor for my weekly therapy sessions and il pay her for that but il have my beloved slim and save packs which I love. I'm starting tomorrow (or today actually as its 1am in the morning). I hope that we manage to make a go of things. We'd been together since I was 16 and broke up when I was 30. We'd been pretty strong up until my late 20s when my weight gain got worse.
Our families are so happy and excited and our kids are going mad they're so excited that mum and dad are back and going to try and make it work. We've had the "no guarantees it'll work out" talk with them but don't think they care!! Bless them. This morning I didn't even want to see my ex cos I was so nervous but in just a day, we've managed to reunite our families and it just feels right.
Wow, that was a long post but I needed to get it off of my chest
So, in a nutshell, il be doing slim and save until I lose enough weight to feel sexy in my wedding gown and beyond!
Love Sia
xxxxxxx
