Sometimes this works cause your head is in the game; sometimes you have to go through the motions and hope your head catches up. You are absolutely right in that you are doing this for you! Not your CDC, your family, your friends or anybody else. This is you working on improving your health, your self-image, your self-confidence and trust me, you're worth the effort!
Start again tomorrow. Don't forget - you want to achieve this and you can't fail if you don't give up! You *can* do this!