So upset

[peggypig]

Dont live a miserable life with someone who doesn't deserve you. I wasted 18years of mine on a man who constantly terrorised me with drinking etc then he had the bloody cheek to run off with my best friend ,after the shock etc what a favour he did me he was a bloody B******d. now since bouts of illnesses he tells our son to tell your mum how sorry Iam about everything and sorry to him as well. I since remarried to a wonderful man. Believe me its preferable being on your own than with someone who has no respect for you and belittles you.

 

[Amelie24]

I Know this is nothing to do with slimming world but I'm so upset and needed a rant!! Here goes

So we picks my daughter up from kings cross, hubby forces/persuades me to go even though I've been off colour for last few days. I throw up small amounts every few minutes for whole journey and feel positively like s':te excuse the French.
Said older daughter wants to go see younger Sid at open air concert. My hubby had upset my son cos he had been doing my hair/painting my nails last few days to pamper me while I feel ill and son overheard hubby say he shouldn't be doing it he'll end up gay!! He is 11 ffs does it really matter if he us trying to be caring and does feminine things or even if he ends up gay. So to save arguments I go with hubby and son to drop older daughter of with younger daughter. We park in sainsburys car park and I turn to say something to hubby and he's blatantly sat there staring at 3 lasses very pretty they were too. I tried to ignore it but I'm dying inside it hurt so much even the kids noticed it and confessed he does it a lot when he's driving them with out me.
It was made worse that I had no make up on my hair was scraped back in a ponytail and I had slouchy clothes on and generally looked the way I felt. There is no way I could compete with these younger lasses and I know he was only looking but it has really hurt me and knocked my confidence. I still have a stone and a half to lose but can't seem to get my head back in the right place and I know now that I'm probably losing the weight for the wrong reasons. Being a size 10 isn't going to stop my hubby having a wandering eye.
He has tried it on with girls in the past but insists nothing ever happened except a new year snog as they said no I have no trust left and seeing this tonight had knocked me for six

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Hi Lovely,

I think it was mean to drag you in the car when you were being sick.

I'm not sure you should be taking relationship advice from strangers as all of us have our own motives and opinions, without knowing the full story it's very difficult to give you advice.

If things do become difficult perhaps you could start marriage counselling? You and your husband and children are all important people with real emotions and taking online advice might not be the most helpful thing. Relationships can recover from different things and become stronger sometimes too.

xx

 

[chazzdiver]

Firstly I'd like to say that no matter what your choice we will all support you.

When I read about him dragging you into the car trip I automatically thought him a jerk, but I know that most men can be idiots at times and ignore or forget things like we're I'll, but with all the other stuff that he did and said I think that it's not a stupid moment so mug as a stupid man. He's a fool to be looking at anyone else than you. I don't know if your avvie is you currently but you look gorgeous, his lack of respect to be doing it in front of you and the children to the point where it's really obvious is unforgivable, and his choice of words about your son is appalling, good qualities in a man don't always outweigh the bad ones. Just because something didn't happen doesn't mean he hasn't tried, the fact that he is also trying to blame you is ridiculus. If you are watching a movie of course you are looking at the actors, but to stare at people in the real world and to snog one is completely different.

Whether you want to try and patch it up we'll be here for you, but I would suggest talking with your kids about it and getting their input as it will affect them as well, if you are worried about affecting them by leaving this will put your mind at rest, beside they are already affected because they felt the need to tell you what's been happening behind your back.

 

[Sculls]

Dont live a miserable life with someone who doesn't deserve you. I wasted 18years of mine on a man who constantly terrorised me with drinking etc then he had the bloody cheek to run off with my best friend ,after the shock etc what a favour he did me he was a bloody B******d. now since bouts of illnesses he tells our son to tell your mum how sorry Iam about everything and sorry to him as well. I since remarried to a wonderful man. Believe me its preferable being on your own than with someone who has no respect for you and belittles you.

Wow hats off to you for being strong and finding a lovely man xx

 

[xMandyDx]

I was relaxing in bed reading the forum when I came across this and felt the need to get out of bed just so I could reply easier on the laptop.

Let me firstly say OMFG! And secondly, (not to sound like a grade A b1tch) people will always treat you the way you let them.
I think you already know what sort of person this man is, and I also think you already know what you want to do about it, but came on here for some vindication and to hear a few people say you're in the right.

You are. You're totally in the right. And to be perfectly honest, if you stay with this man it could have a detrimental effect on your children. Imagine your girls growing up and finding a man just like Daddy, who treats them just the same, because that's normal to them. And also imagine your son does grow up gay, and marries some girl and has kids with her anyway, simply because he's too afraid of his father's reaction to his true self.

And imagine yourself twenty years from now... do you really want to still be with that sort of person, or do you want to turn him loose and find someone you truly deserve? Life is too short. But with the wrong person, life's too damn long.

Sorry if I've sounded mean... I don't intend to xx

 

[Karen.hat]

I was relaxing in bed reading the forum when I came across this and felt the need to get out of bed just so I could reply easier on the laptop.

Let me firstly say OMFG! And secondly, (not to sound like a grade A b1tch) people will always treat you the way you let them.
I think you already know what sort of person this man is, and I also think you already know what you want to do about it, but came on here for some vindication and to hear a few people say you're in the right.

You are. You're totally in the right. And to be perfectly honest, if you stay with this man it could have a detrimental effect on your children. Imagine your girls growing up and finding a man just like Daddy, who treats them just the same, because that's normal to them. And also imagine your son does grow up gay, and marries some girl and has kids with her anyway, simply because he's too afraid of his father's reaction to his true self.

And imagine yourself twenty years from now... do you really want to still be with that sort of person, or do you want to turn him loose and find someone you truly deserve? Life is too short. But with the wrong person, life's too damn long.

Sorry if I've sounded mean... I don't intend to xx

It's not mean it's nothing I didn't already know. He's moved out at my request and is currently sulking, what a man!! I'm not making any decisions permanently on the marriage until I have concentrated on myself. I have realized that over the last few years my self esteem is very low and my life isn't as full as it should be. I'm not pointing the finger but think I deserve to be able to concentrate on me for a little while.

He is the kids step-dad but still doesn't excuse his actions. The kids are already young ladies (and of course little one us my baby) they are very independent and a bit too out spoken at times but I do see where you are coming from and what damage he still could possibly do emotionally to them.

Thank you for your reply.

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[Stefanie]

There is a great phrase...you get what you settle for. If this is what you want to be settled with by all means on you go, but it's times like this you need to find your inner strength and settle for the best possible life for you and your kids....life is far too short to waste it on guys like him xx

 

[Karen.hat]

Just to clear some thing up ladies. When I said he dragged me on a car journey I didn't mean physically. I just re read my original post and see how it reads.
I didn't really feel up to going but he was insistent on me coming as he always gets lost in central London it was more metaphorically speaking he didn't actually drag me into the car.

My photo is 18 months old, but I do have other more natural pics on here somewhere. There's one of me at my current shape dying my hair. I really should get a more up to date profile pic

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[Karen.hat]

There is a great phrase...you get what you settle for. If this is what you want to be settled with by all means on you go, but it's times like this you need to find your inner strength and settle for the best possible life for you and your kids....life is far too short to waste it on guys like him xx

I'm not settling, I'm just postponing making a decision until I'm in a better place. It's too big a decision to make rashly. But I definitely won't be settling for this. Me posting on here was my first step to changes. I actually emailed him a link so he has read the whole post.
He is no longer living in the family home. Whether he decides to change and return to the man I fell in love with is his decision but I definitely won't be staying married the way things are.

That being said thank you for your honesty, sometimes it takes someone blunt and to the point to open your eyes.

(oh and it's my eldest daughters 18th tomorrow and she's traveling home tonight so massive decisions and stuff would spoil a massive date in her life)

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[soon2bslimmer77]

You know what my darling you are a beautiful lady, get some confidence from somewhere even if its not 100% genuine and give him a dose of his own medicine. If like you said above you are starting to believe he is a D**k yourself then its time for change. You only get one life don't let someone who you are not 100% happy with share it with you xx I know not every relationship is rosie at all times as well xx

 

[*Emsie*]

I'm not settling, I'm just postponing making a decision until I'm in a better place. It's too big a decision to make rashly. But I definitely won't be settling for this. Me posting on here was my first step to changes. I actually emailed him a link so he has read the whole post.
He is no longer living in the family home. Whether he decides to change and return to the man I fell in love with is his decision but I definitely won't be staying married the way things are.

That being said thank you for your honesty, sometimes it takes someone blunt and to the point to open your eyes.

(oh and it's my eldest daughters 18th tomorrow and she's traveling home tonight so massive decisions and stuff would spoil a massive date in her life)

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I think you are right not to rush into big decisions but good that you have got some space to yourself.
Hope you enjoy the celebrations xxx