Sophie's Slimming World and Cinema critiques!

Yeah, you're right... I took it within a few hours so that should help boost the effectiveness. The only other time I had to take it was when it was a slight risk but not really something to worry about but this time it was a proper break that we only realised after.
The thing with Gerard is that because neither of us have a proper job, we've spent the past year in the flat together sometimes weeks without work at a time. He doesnt have friends so he is always in the house when I am. I've shoved him out more rrcently but I feel like he really relies on me to have a life, which means I usually bring him when I see friends- which means sonetimes there are months before we have half a day apart! It's crazy. The last relationship I was in was long distance which kind of worked for us as we both were people that needed space. I dont need as much space anymore but this is my first time living with a boyfriend and it feels so unhealthy now as we literally have the life.of a retired married couple. Even when we go on a date night I get depressed, the spark is so gone.
Funnily enough- this and my depression from being stuck at home so much is why I started this weight loss plan- my original plan was to join the gym to get out and let off steam! But then I said 'well, might as well eat well too' and then started SW but never went to the gym!
Over xmas I was away 4 times filming in Dubai and even though it was only 4 days away each time it was such a relief to get away from him, and nice to see him when I got back. The longest we've been apart... We literally moved in together as soon as we started dating, which worked for us- the only thing I regret is him quitting his job to freelance with me.
Sorry for the life story here. I just woke up after a late night and I do feel less ***** today. I think I'm going to clear some room in the spare room, put headphones on and have a mad art session with my paints.
Thanks for your reply EmmaB, it's really nice to have someone who can relate. I dont talk about this stuff IRL because I dont really have close girl friends, mainly close guy friends. X
 
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Feeling better this afternoon; project 'sort out the spare room' has us productive and I'm quite enjoying it.

Our flat is technically a 2 bed place, but since I've lived here the spare room became a dumping ground. When Gerard moved in, it became a gridlock of furniture and boxes, but slowly it has decreased as we moved stuff around and last month we dropped a load of his boxes at his parents' garage so there's actually floor space now! Anyway, we're sorting out stuff in cupboards (like under the stairs which it turns out half of the bags in there are full of bubble wrap G had saved :S WTF...) so we can store things rather than have it cluttered everywhere; we're also chucking a load of crap away which feels good.
It's funny how every time G has suggested we try sorting the room out I've been like "HELL no.", but when it happens naturally it feels much less pressurising and more organic- enjoyable even!

Anyway, better get back to it. Am notorious for starting sort-out projects and leaving them mid-process and messier than before :p

x
 
Hi Hun, glad you've cheered up a bit, started feeling a bit better. Has Gerard got any hobbies where you could get him out the house? My hubby is awful at getting out sometimes, he's got friends but he's awful at ever suggesting doing anything with them. His mums side of the family are horrible, they never say anything nice, always picking faults, and I think he's scared of rejection, even if its a beer with a friend. I'm hoping I can start getting him to go out more when we move as they'll be more to do.

Glad your sorting out your flat, it will probably help if you guys have more space at home :) have you tried speaking to G about how you feel? X
 
Yeah, I've told him numerous times that I feel sort of... Suffocated when I'm indoors with him here for so long, he's made more efforts to go and visit his parents and go to the cinema on his own recently, but he literally has ONE friend who lives in Spain! So no social life to push him onto! He's a total introvert and has always been an "All I need is my girlfriend" kinda guy, which at first was cute but now is like *chases him with pitchfork* lol :p
His hobbies are Photography, which we do together as work- so he doesn't exactly go out on photo trips alone- and Formula 1, which = watching TV and hogging the lounge for 6 hours every weekend, 80% of the year (and I have grown to loathe it so much as I hate sports and how he only ever get's angry when he's missing it or finds out who won before he's watched it- it's like the ONLY thing he is passionate enough about to have any emotion about, which is really sad!)
We have enough space here, it's a fairly big flat and the bedroom is upstairs so we can be on different floors and I can have space that way, but it's not really the same as having the place to myself. I've suggested he enrolls in some sort of course or class to pick up a skill and meet people/get out of the house, but he's not very motivated.

Clearing the spare room has gone really well; we took a load of boxes and stuff to the dump and there is sooo much room now. I'm glad because I really like the daylight in there, and the light makes a huge difference on how at ease I am. Upstairs has nice light too as there are windows either side, but the lounge we have thin curtains so that people one double decker busses don't see in at what we're up to (as we live on a busy main road) so we rarely have sunlight coming in. It'll be nice to have some creative space in the spare room.
However- horrifically- we realised that there are MAGGOTS in the carpet! EWWEWEWEWEWEW!! I feel all itchy now! We'd been seeing loads of tiny moths around and they've laid their friggin' babies in the carpet and a patch of the carpet has been gnawed through :( the next project is going to be pulling up that carpet then...! YUCK.
 
Actually, I think they were caterpillars... Caterpillars turn into moths/butterflies. That's a bit less gross than maggots, and they did look like tiny caterpillers and have sort of cocoons left over in the carpet. Still gross, but I do like caterpillars.
 
Just had a Chinese take away and it was sooo yummy. We ordered a Shredded chilli chicken from one place and a Sweet and Sour chicken (hong kong style, not in batter) from another and Gerard was a darling and went and picked them both up. I weighed the Sweet and sour chicken (8.5 syns for 350g serving) and it was 400g- I thought 350g would be half or something, so that was a pleasant surprise! Anyway, can't find shredded chilli syns but it isn't dissimilar texture or sweetness from S&S (and is about a third less calories acording to other sources) so am going to call it the same syns just in case. Half of each = 12 syns, and damn worth every one. Can't believe I can have such a yummy meal and not have to be guilty after!
I boiled rice and threw in two chopped carrots so got my super free in; it was nice that I couldn't overeat because we only had two dishes :p I was eating the leftover plain rice after though and like trying to soak up the last of the sauces in the foil- hehe.


Full food diary:
____________
EE day

B: Fruit, yoghurt
L: Pasta, frankfurter chopped in (2.5 syns), HexA cheddar, asparagus, mixed beans, spinach
D: Chinese (Sweet and sour chicken, shredded chilli chicken = 12 syns) with 2 boiled carrots and boiled rice (and a small banana beforehand).
Snacks: HexB ChewyD, Muller light x 2, another banana.

____________

Can't believe how much space there is in the spare room now, yayyy!
 
Sounds like a tough few days Hun. Glad you are in a better place today, amazing how a good clear out session can revitalise you!
Sometimes I get envious of couples that spend lots of time together because hubby and I really never have. He works shifts as did I up until recently and although we have mutual friends we have seperate groups too. But I realise that too much time together could be even more difficult than not enough!
Food diary looks good x
 
Summer- I know how you feel, it was the same for us before he quit his job as he'd be up super early for the commute and back late. I used to get so excited to see him when he got home now and unfortunately that excitement is never there anymore. I'd prefer to see him less frequently and be able to cherish the time, than spend a whole day where we barely acknowledge each other even though we're sitting in the same room :( makes the romance feel totally dead. Guess we need to find a middle ground, but it's hard as a freelancer. If we get real jobs I kinda have to give up on the filming/photography as the freelancing is so spontaneous timing wise, and if I push him to get a job again he'll feel like he's quitting on his ambition and failing. I dunnoooo.
 
I'm in north london so there are about 5 chinese places within a mile of us! Next time we'll go for the s&s as we both liked that best, that way they can deliver too (too G about half an hour to get both the takeaways because parking was a nightmare!)
I've had both dishes from both places and each do one great and the other rubbish!
Had a massive text fight this morning because after going to bed at 2am G got up before 7 to watch the formula1 which we'd already discussed rules about (as last year every weekend I'd get so angry for some reason or another about the f1 taking over!). Anyway, I sent him a nasty text saying I no longer trusted him amd dont come upstairs or I'll hit you I'm so angry! Because he'd woken me up and I'd laid there thinking how he has woken up after 4 hours when he's ill to watch the f1, going against my word AND his health and meaning he'll be napping all day and we'll ve stuck in all weekend. It ia a huge irrational anger I have about how f1 takes over our bloody lives. Anyway, I spent an hour enraged thinking about how I could just pack a bag and go to my mums who lives a 3 hr train ride away or something, just to show him how serious I was... But I had no energy so wrote a nasty text that he didnt see for a while. Eventually he replied that he neede to cough and didnt want to wake me, he needed some lemsip and a drink and stayed downstairs to not wake me up by returning to bed. I felt really bad but the rage from before had made me feel so sick I couldnt sleep still, so I asked for a cuddle and we made up in various ways then slept until now :| he is still asleep.
Anyway, I made a rule last night that he can tape and watch F1 when I am asleep in the morning as he gets up a couple of hours before me and I stay in bed on minimins for ages too. I dont want to deprive him of what he loves and feel like a total b*tch as it is but last year he ****ed the weekend up so many times because he woke up at 4am or wanted to be home for 3 hours midday both sat and sunday meaning we had to miss plans and stuff and it just sucked. He got so pouty on holiday when he was missing it live...
His sister has banned her husband from watching it all together, so I said we'll try this and I dont want to hear about it at all, no waking up at stupid o'clock, no hogging the lounge for 6hours a weekend, watch it taped until I wake up or not at all, and he agreed. That's why I exploded this morning when 4 hours later he seemingly went against it.
Anyway, this is a stupidly long post but I needed to get it out, I used to write a private diary where I would vent but guess this had become it! It is theraputic to vent, I feel like I can view the situation from a spectator's view and see that I have been irrational and it calms me. Who'd have thought at 22 I'd be having a fit at my boyfriend watching sports... Jeeze, I feel like a miserable old git. He tollerates everything and I tollerate nothing :/ but he is 35 thinks we are happily mated for life, and I think we have a sh*t load of work to do on our relationship.
 
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Thanks EmmaB, what you said reminds me of with my ex who was really insensitive and wouldn't realise he'd hurt me when he'd done something really obvious! Gerard is really sensitive and he was really sorry for upsetting me this morning even though it was a misunderstanding. If this had happened with my ex he'd have given me so much sh*t for it and wouldn't have accepted my anger in the first place for such an irrational reason.
I'm glad that even though our situation with all this time at home together is unhealthy, as people we connect in a very healthy way which is very new for me. One of my ex's was a borderline, abusive alcoholic and basically psychotic! The other was basically a robot and was so insensitive to my needs that we clashed big time. Thanks for helping me reflect and see that :p even though it sucks to be at home and getting antsy at him all the time, he puts up with so much of my crap and is so supportive of me *happy sigh* :D
Today has been good; G wasn't up until 2pm in the end! Though there were 2 hours he was up from 7am, but still! We've been editing all day and it feels productive :) I've had Biggest Loser on in the background and am realising that it's been 2 weeks since my month of 30 mins a day exercise ended and I haven't exercised ONCE since! But I've been run down with a cold and... Just... Can't... be arsed... :p
 
Food today:

GREEN
__________

Breakfast: FF Yoghurt, banana, kiwi, blueberries, honey (1 syn)

Lunch: Potato pancake (potato, onion, carrot) with HexB1 olive oil, scrambled eggs and some pasta with HexA1 cheddar. Ketchup (2 syns worth)

Dinner: cauliflower mash- mmm! Didn't know how I'd find it but it was really yum. I cooked half a broken up cauli' for 5 mins in the microwave, splash of milk, sprinkled on a couple of tablespoons of instant mash and half a stock cube, hand blended and added a pinch (10g) of cheese- and it was delish! I'm SO making this more often. I recon I'll be hungry in a few hours as I'll probably be going to bed late again- it was very filling though! But I've had the munchies all day.

Snacks: Orange Muller light, hexB chewyD

__________

Syns: 3 + have had more than half a cannister of light whipped cream this week, littke squirts here and there :p so will syn that now. 6.5 syns for the whole cannister so will call it 4.

Weekly syns saved: 18, but wont be using them as I feel naughty about that low syn take away. :S
 
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Haha, not so productive here!
I did do a bunch of emailing with clients, discussing pre-production of shoots and stuff and edited a photo, but that's a pretty poor effort in the way of productivity really.

Just logging on quickly to note my food for the day, have been hungry aaaall day, just one of those days where nothing satisfied me. It wasn't even just munchies or wanting nosh, I was properly hungry for meals, loads!

Green day:
___________

Breakfast: Fruit, yoghurt

Lunch: Pasta, chicken frankfurter (3.5 syns on G), cherry tomatoes, asparagus, hexA1 cheese, muller light, 2 x jelly pots (1 syn in total)

Dinner: First I had cauliflower mash with a splash of milk (part of HexA2) then an hour later I had cheese (hexA2) on 2 pieces of toast (6 syns for bread) with a bit of ketchup (1 syn) THEN (about an hour and a half later)I had more pasta- a huuuge bowl with some cherry tomatoes but probably not 1/3rd :/ I was just hungry and bored of being hungry despite my healthy-ish efforts, so ate probably too much pasta, with a small squirt of light salad cream (0.5 syns) but oh well, at least it was free food and not a naughty binge.

Snacks: About ten million yoghurts. Ok, maybe 4 or 5, activia lights and muller lights which I used to try and wave off the hunger earlier. HexB1+2 of Chewy Delight bars (nearly running out!)

Syns total: 12
Remaining weekly syns: about 20, so hopefully that'll balance out the naughty bits.
__________

I really feel like I have been on the cusp of * week for a few days now but it still isn't here yet! I'm still paranoid and desperately hoping it shows up soon.
Anyway, expect another STS tomorrow, so bloated and even a little constipated- maybe I'm not changing up my HexB's enough- too many Chewy Delight bars *hangs head in shame* but they are sooo good!
Fell out with G a bit again today because of the bloody formula1, not massively but he was trying to sneak in watching it while we were getting ready to go out and I was rushing about and he was just frigging sitting there- I was like "COME ON! We spoke about F1- I don't want it on when I'm around!" and then I felt really pissy and didn't want to go out anymore, so G went upstairs and slept for like 2 hours- he's still ill. Anyway, we're so on and off at the moment- well- *I* am so on and off. One minute I'm all cuddly and affectionate, the next minute I'm yelling at him. I've been acting so borderline this week and I'm hoping it's just PMS influence, but as I just said... I'm still waiting for it to bloody show up (excuse pun).
x
 
WI this morn, 1.5 loss. Not ecstatic to be honest, since last week was a STS and I was hoping that was at least because of * week, but no. Guess I need to get grips on the 2 good weeks, one crap week, one mediocre week pattern!
 
Thanks EmmaB :) you always post such lifting things, I feel like such a scrooge recently!

I was expecting another STS so yeah- 1.5 is great! But at the same time I'm like "Meh, it's not exactly a 4 or 5." which obviously needs to change as things WILL slow right down (and 1.5 will eventually be like "OMGOMG!" haha)

EE today, weekly syns reset:
____________

B: Muller light, blueberries, banana

L: Stir fried extra lean beef strips with two onions, honey (2 syns), chilli and rice. Also had some asparagus.

D: Cous cous, two boiled carrots, 3 hard boiled eggs mashed with salad cream light (1 syn)

S: Activia light x2, Muller light New York Cheesecake (1 syn) HexB chewy delight (I've run out- ahhh!) cheese string (3.5 syns)

Had about 100ml of semi skimmed milk for HexA as we're low and G needs it for breakfast. Did have plenty of calcium through yoghurt though.

Syns used: 7.5
Syns saved: 7.5

____________

Here's one I edited today:

1IMG_7447 koi.jpg
 
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When I get a STS I just feel like "Goddamn, what a waste of a week of being good!" :p

Just realised (AFTER eating one) that cheese strings are 3.5 syns not 2.5 syns. Apparently two light cheese strings can count as HexA... Not sure why 1 normal one couldn't, but I guess the calcium : fat ratio is different. Haven't found light ones ANYWHERE yet. Have tried big Morrisons, Tesco, Sainsbury's... Anyone found them anywhere? I heard Asda does them but don't really go there.
 
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