Sophie's Slimming World and Cinema critiques!

[Sunflower166]

Know I've joined your diary at a pretty difficult time for you but have read some from the beginning and some from the last few pages and can't believe how far you have come! You must be so very, very proud of yourself. What an inspiration! I am also a crazy cat lady with a penchant for good cinema so will keep checking in on your diary Hana xo

 

[Charleybarley]

Oh dude! I am so sorry to hear that you are in such a funk at the moment. I fear the lack of desire to stick to plan is less the need to eat but more to do with depression, I agree with Cheeky, whilst I am no expert on depression, perhaps you could take some time out, get out of the flat and do something for the day with G, get out there while the weather is still on our side and get some fresh air - and again take it one meal at a time, but honestly I think you need to feel better inside first. What about having a little breakfast lunch and dinner plan, with fruit in between? Just plan for a couple of days, weigh your cereals and healthy extras - try going back to basics and have a little water detox session, you will soon be feeling better inside and out. You said as much to me on Sunday and I have listened to your advice, I have been 100% all week through listening to you and my other friends - get those nasty toxins out.

We are all here to listen and to help if you need us to.... Read your new subscriber Sunflower, she is totes inspired by you, just like we all are.

Lots of lovely love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tetris]

I love you guys, thanks so much for the support. Will reply properly when I'm feeling less pooped... This weekend havr been so off plan at dad's house babysitting my little sisters.
You are both right- am def not trying 0 carbs right now as so cant face that, but cant face cooking either and I really am off bloody meat and veg at the mo :/ awful carb cravings, sugar desires... Have never been unable to screw my SW hat on, just want the comfort of it at the mo and am not going crazy crazy but had two 137cal twirl bars, some smarties and some popcorn last night and 3 frigging bowls of cereal for breakfast/lunch at dad's today fnfkfjdh

 

[Tetris]

So not like take aways and cake bad, but more gain worthy I'm sure. *sigh*

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Well I've had cake AND pie today so I can't say nothin' xx

 

[Tetris]

Today at 'in laws' ate badly (bannoffee pie, wine, chocolates, fjfjdjehd(%%+3/he) but decided that tomorrow is a new week and I am going to start measuring hex's and counting syns and having meals instead of cereal!! My kitchen scales are finally loaded with new batts!
WI is expected to suck but will face the music in the morning then get my focus on.

 

[Charleybarley]

Good for you girl - new day, fresh start xxxx

 

[Tetris]

Thanks Charley

Surprised that the amount of cr*p I ate this weekend only gained me 1lb, and I feel pretty dehydrated from the wine yest so maybe that is even less
I am up 4lbs all together from the padt couple of weeks, 13st 12lbs, shame as I was finally getting some body confidence back! But I am going to focus now and be strict with myself.
X

 

[Tetris]

Hey guys!
Taking it one day at a time seems to be working and already (day 2 back on plan) I'm feeling way better and more in control of what I'm eating yay. Thanks for your support/pep talks.

Last night I was feeling really awful (really bad bout of depression/BPD and had a fight with G) but I resisted from emotional eating and am really glad I did as the sense of having had a full day on plan yesterday really made me feel better about things this morning..

I haven't eaten any flour based carbs and since I've done nearly 2 days without, without really thinking about it (and it takes about 4 days to kick the cravings away for good) I'm going to try and push through and not have any for the rest of the week. So basically no cereal/bread/pasta! I felt SO much better when I detoxed them out last, so yeah had baked beans as HexB yesterday and will have tinned/dried fruit, nuts, extra virgin olive oil etc instead now. I wonder if oats/porridge would be OK or if that would offset the antibodies in me that overreact to certain carbs? Really bloody hate the cravings so would rather just nip it all in the bud and not have them, makes life much easier.

Oh, also, I did a super naughty re-weigh this morning just to see if any of the gain was from the alcohol dehydrating me and the fact I hadn't seen the poo fairy in a while. The pound I gained over the weekend is gone now, yay! So just 3lbs of gain to tackle before I'm back to where I was on track. Silly really but it did give me some relief and help keep me positive

Today I went a bit mental and bought a flippin' accordion from a second hand junk shop!! here's a selfie I took while walking it home hehe:

Bit nuts but I have always wanted one since playing my friend's one a few years back! They just sound so damn atmospheric I can't bloody play it but I'm going to try and learn through youtube videos anyway, buying that and fiddling with it today has really lifted my mood ^^

Food today - RED
_____
B: FF yoghurt, diced apple, strawberries, splenda
L: (I kinda had lunch in two halves as I was in a rush to the dentist and not sure if I was allowed to eat after or not) 1 grilled salmon fillet (cold), lettuce, salad cream light (1) / 1 leftover low fat sausage (1.5 syns), half a tin of baked beans (HexB), fried onion, ketchup (2), some grated cheddar on beans (HexA1).
D: nothing yet as second half of lunch was quite late. Will probably have the other salmon fillet and more lettuce or something light.

Snacks: mango, honeydew melon, some natural ff yoghurt with tsp of honey (1), HexA2 milk in teas (have become a regular tea drinker since I last logged food properly on here!)
_____
syns so far: 5.5

Sadly my knee has been really bad recently and triggered by a couple of weeks ago trying to do my old arm exercises (ladies press ups and chair dips are killer on the knees), they just haven't recovered since and some long drives this weekend (having them cramped at 90 degrees always makes them flare) has made them worse :/ so I won't be doing more chair dips etc, really want them to be recovered by india! But I should get my ass into gear working with my weights- surely bicep curls can't effect my knees heh.
x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

An accordion. Just what everyone needs. Your neighbours are going to love you

Glad you're starting to feel a little better. Sounds like you've had an awful lot of internal wars going on and lots of inner conflicts? Sh*tty to deal with But looks like you're pulling out of it. Really pleased for you and I hope it carries on. xx

 

[Rochelle1]

Aww sorry to hear you're feeling crappy you look great though, if that's any good?! Had to giggle at the accordion, hey if it makes you happy who cares if you can't play it?? If it's lifted your mood that's all that matters. Hope you're feeling better soon xx

 

[Tetris]

I will learn how to play it!! I have learnt this 3 note meddly that I have played ooover and over (neighbours are all moving town already, if not considering chopping their ears off )

Mum came over yesterday and we had fun for once- recently when she has been over we have both have felt crappy and had a lame time, but we listened to music and played Chinese Checkers and giggled lots. Today I had a photoshoot with a previous client (an artist) which went well, then I decided to stay in central London while rush hr died down and to keep myself busy/distracted - stayed until 9pm in the end! Long day.
Lunch was a healthy salad with a hard boiled egg and ham (m&s) with salad cream (2). Dinner ended up being a cheeky sushi box from Wasabi as I was starving from that tiny salad being my lunch! There goes the carb detox, pah. Theeeen I had an even cheekier brownie from the cafe inside Waterstones whoooops! So good though! Salted caramel... Am guessing around 25 syns :/ oh dear.
Didnt mention but mid week WI this morn had that pound back on again even though I have been dead good all week and pooed yesterday- ANNOYING and totally uncalled for! Celebrated my hard efforts with the brownie instead.
Guys, I am going to be getting drunk on Sat and then it is my and G's 3yr anniversary next week (and am due on next thurs) so basically the scales are gonna be mean :/ sigh. India in like 16 days so kinda just gotta accept that I wont be a healthy BMI in time unless the poo fairy grants me a 7lb sh*t
X

 

[Tetris]

Last night I was awful... Friends came over and I just didnt sensor my food intake. Wine, cider, chocolate, doritoes, loooads of cashews damnit!

 

[Charleybarley]

Last night I was awful... Friends came over and I just didnt sensor my food intake. Wine, cider, chocolate, doritoes, loooads of cashews damnit!

Aww I feel your pain hun, I find social events so darn difficult. The thought of all your friends mindlessly scoffing and boozing, it makes you wonder why you are so unlucky to have to watch it...so generally I don't!

Because I had a couple of naughty nights last week, I blew out my curry evening at our local Indian with other friends on Friday, because I knew that I wouldnt physically be able to make good choices - so I took myself away from the naughtiness. Really its wrong because I shouldn't put the food on the pedestal, my friends should be key, but I feel like I can only be naughty like once a week max, and that would have taken me to three times naughty - too much naughty!

You will back into it my love.

xx

 

[Tetris]

Thanks for the pep talk Charley
I think I was in the mindset of "I'll be getting drunk and blowing syns" and then my drinking buddybof the gang didnt even make it, so it was kinda a waste to have already started drinking and I was like "sod it. More booze + nosh" !
Went straight back on plan though until today where I cant stop eating chocolate as am due on thurs have kept to treat size chocs but have gone about ten syns over. Tomorrow will be havig a treat anniversary day, will probably weigh in Friday :/ not looking forward to it.

Off to India in a week! Flights booked- ahhh!
The diet will stay at home but I am going to try and not go crazy. Should be active enough to counter act some carbs and whatnot... being around the skinny girls I am traveling with should make me paranoid of appearing gluttonous!
X

 

[Tetris]

Wednesday was G and my 3rd year anniversary we celebrated by having a PJ day indulging in naughty foods, playing video games we bonded over when we got together and had a take away. I let myself eat ANYTHING as if my diet didn't exist- I made a conscious effort not to think about calories and syns and see how it went. It was nuts. Pancakes for breakfast, home made (AWESOME) brownies for lunch, Chinese for dinner! Hohoho... I was really feeling physically crap after all that junk, really sluggish after the brownies... Just goes to show, you sometimes don't notice the pep in your energy from eating well until you reverse a bit! But it was all really yum (except the take away which was kinda disappointing, won't be going to that place again!) but by Thurs (yesterday) I was feeling pretty fat while trying on potential clothes to pack for India...
Anyway, Aunt flow popped over yesterday and today I've been somehow BLESSED with a -2lb weigh in! Must be because of the cycle... Though yesterday was very, very good- salads galore.
Am down to 13st 10, still 2lbs above what I was a few weeks ago but hey... I've accepted now that I'm this weight for India I leave on Wednesday- ahhh! So I'll do a Tuesday WI and then be off plan but not going crazy for the month.

I'm so damn nervous about this trip! I didn't feel that at all about the last trip... But I've never spent this much time with anyone, let alone women! I am an extravert but my energy for socialising wears down really fast and I get super, super introverty when I've had enough- to an extreme where I just want to be on my own! I'm not sure how I'll hack sharing a room and always being with these girls CONSTANTLY for 4 weeks! I did live with one of them once but... y'know, own rooms! And we haven't seen each other in 5 years (since I was a fattie!) so I wonder if we'll still be as bonded... While sorting this trip online it's felt a bit tense.
I'm sure we'll have an awesome time, just that whole being with them the whole time thing is unnerving I'm quite independent and they are quite clingy so probably won't want me to do my own thing too much as two of them are quite nervous about safety and stuff (they are very tiny ladies though so kinda understandable, but I am probably nearly a foot taller than most Indian men so should be OK )
Also- first time away from G for more than the odd few days shooting in 3 years! I am nervous as I am so reliant on him looking out for stuff and me being careless or him looking after me when I feel moody or crap :/ scared I'll be all princessy around these girls- I gotta admit I'm kinda a handful

This week I've been so productive sorting stuff that I really didn't think I had the organisation skills for so feeling good about that. Now I just have to pack! And find a goddamn swimsuit somewhere- eek.
The girls I'm traveling with are all tiny two of them are probably size 8-10, one is skinny, the other just has the perfect bikini body... And the third is small but slightly curvier. Anyway- I'm about 2-3 sizes bigger than them and this'll play on my confidence... Especially as this summer my body confidence has dramatically dropped compared to, say, xmas- when I was this weight too! :S
Kinda sucks that by xmas it will have been a year without weight loss, but *sigh* it's been a mental year of travels so I can get back on it later, I have to try and live in the moment and not the future while I'm on this trip!
x

 

[Rochelle1]

I find a day of complete junk makes me feel like I'm hungover! It's absolutely weird. But then it makes you appreciate healthy food more.

Oh oh don't worry about the other girls being small, you are gorgeous! Totally get you with the wanting to be alone thing. I'm a crap socialiser I prefer my close couple of friends and being at home with Chris I am such an introvert lol just try and get some me time occasionally and you'll be fine x

 

[Tetris]

Totally feel you Rochelle, I felt so bleurgghh after all that crap. Aunt flow has brought serious chocolate cravings this past couple of days, meals have been on plan but chocolate snacking has NOT been :/ oh dear.
I find it hard to properly 'recharge' unless totally on my own, so will be tricky when sharing a room and although I'm very independent, I'm not sure how safe I'll feel out and about on my own in the evenings when we're most likely to have free time, so... who knows, perhaps my beast side will scare my roommate off sometimes haha! Also, when I DO have recharge time, G is going to be hounding me for a chat- lol! I feel so bad leaving him home alone :/ it sounds silly as he's a grown man (36!) but he really doesn't have friends except my friend Dan who he adores but who moved to Jersey recently, my brother (who luckily lives down the road!) and one guy who lives in Spain. So basically other than the odd 1.5hr trip to see his parents and hanging out with my bro, he'll be completely alone with the cat for a month :| luckily he's super introverted and doesn't care too much, but I'll still worry he's going stir crazy.

So stressed trying to pack (taking FOREVER) within a 15kg limit for the domestic flights (5kg less than our last travels, which I went over!) and a client from a photoshoot the week before last has suddenly said she wants a dozen more edits than expected- they take like an hour each and I leave Weds AM- ahhh!
Right, I should stop procrastinating and get a move on if I can finish packing today and do some editing this evening I'll be on the right track... So many other errands and such to sort too, eeeek. x

 

[Tetris]

Hellooo from Heahrow. I am waiting to board my first of three flights to Delhi, India! Ahh!
Food went to crap this week due ro chocolate cravings but SOMEHOW I lost 2lbs?! Wtf!! Just goes to show how cycle affects SO MUCH. I have had sts's on 100% weeks and now a loss on a fail week! 4lbs total this week! I am psyched to now be at 13st8lbs amd my lowest since my last trip! 1 mealsy pound away from healthy BMI!!
I'm sure I'll gain on this trip but I dont want to be hindered by diet, will be eating lotsnof rice, bread and veg curries as it is safest to stay veggie out here- kinda the opposite of red days though!
Woke up at 4.30am to get to heathrow in time and only slept a few hrs- wont sleep tonight as will be waiting 6hrs at the airport for my next flight, eek. Can never sleep on planes either.
Nervous and excited! Take care guys, am sure I'll report in at some point x

 

[Cheese Thief]

Hey Soph!

I know this is a little late but wanted to wish you an awesome trip! I'm sure you'll have a great time and take loads of amazing photo's! Well done on the -4lb this week too, you must be so chuffed Funny isn't it how we sometimes get the best losses when we least expect it, always a nice surprise though!

Oh and the other girls might be smaller, but you my dear have a natural beauty which very few people possess. For all you know they could be thinking the same thing about you! If things get a bit too much on the social thing just try and take some time out for yourself, go on a walk or meditate in a temple or something, India is meant to be a very spiritual place so hopefully you'll have the opportunity for some alone and quiet time. I'd need that too on a long trip like that or I'd be a right miserable sod after the first week!

Looking forward to your updates and piccys xx