Stubborn slimmer starting 28/7/17

[Wheekers]

Sorry to hear you have been having a rough month, I hope the doctors visit goes OK. Well done for resisting the lure of the high syn stuff!

Hope the puppy training is going well - currently taking a friends dog through puppy classes as she teaches the class and I have decided teaching training classes is so much easier than dealing with the bouncy puppy and taking part in the class!

 

[Jenny_b]

Hey,

hope all goes well at the drs.

x x

 

[MysticalT]

Been to doctors and I'm not entirely sure what to make of it. He thinks I'm suffering from reflux so has prescribed something for it. There is a white streak at the back of my throat so he's taken a swab, he said it could be oral thrush as it doesn't generally clear up by itself. I said I was concerned about it being something serious to which he replied its in the list of things but there's no lumps or bumps he's concerned about at the minute but they'd call me if anything needed to be done when the swab comes back in a week. Other than that he'll see me in a month because that's how long the tablets he's prescribed lasts. I have seen this doctor before and he's not one to put you at ease anyway, hes said 'its in the list of things' before when ive been in for something else quite a while ago.

Me being me I've googled stuff, not always the best of ideas but the symptoms do sound more like thrush than anything else.
I don't know, here's me on total edge for the next week. I hate it when doctors are so cautious about what they tell you. I know they dont want to tell you all is fine to find out later it isn't but older doctors are more experienced and he's quite young.

It would be very easy right now for me to give up for the week and eat my way through the anxiety but I'm not! I'm sticking with it. I just need to keep myself busy I suppose so that I don't dwell on things. I really don't feel like eating right now anyway.

Sorry for the long post lol

 

[Jenny_b]

Hey,

sorry that the dr hasn't put your mind at ease. worrying isn't going to help you though. say you spend the next week or month worrying and it turns out to be nothing, think of all those hours/days of worry for no reason, worrying doesn't help us, only makes you have a bad day. so enjoy today and remember that it might just be thrush and will be gone soon.

hope you're ok x x

 

[MysticalT]

Hey,

sorry that the dr hasn't put your mind at ease. worrying isn't going to help you though. say you spend the next week or month worrying and it turns out to be nothing, think of all those hours/days of worry for no reason, worrying doesn't help us, only makes you have a bad day. so enjoy today and remember that it might just be thrush and will be gone soon.

hope you're ok x x

I'm ok thank you. I just keep telling myself that it's likely to be nothing and you're right, I could waste a week sat stressing about it or I can enjoy my week and worry next week if there even is anything to worry about in the first place! ( I'm a worrier anyway )

Weigh in tomorrow and I'm hoping for a maintain. I can then do a shop and keep on track!

The freezer is still broken, the oh is going to look at it this weekend see if he can fix it.

It looks like there's going to be lots of rain here this weekend so I doubt we'll get out much but I'm going to try, I'm sure I won't dissolve lol.

Puppy training is going Well, she sits, gives paw and has almost mastered laying down. She learns very quickly!

Well I'm off to relax, watch some tv. I was going to go for a wander but there's some very dark clouds forming above me!

Have a good evening to whoever is reading x

 

[Jenny_b]

well done with the puppy training

fingers crossed for weigh in tomorrow

x x

 

[MysticalT]

Good morning!

I managed a lie in today! Although that's probably due to waking up twice having strange dreams, they weren't bad just weird. I know they were weird I just can't remember what they were!

Need to plan foods today as I have no idea what we're having. Having no freezer is becoming a pain in the butt! I may have to shop every couple if days instead of doing a weekly shop which usually ends up costing me more.

It's nice and sunny at the minute but apparently it isn't going to stay that way for long. I did manage a small wander last night and got back 10 minutes before the rain started.

Nothing else planned for today as yet other than the usual tidying.

Have a good day

 

[MysticalT]

Had a day of pretty much doing nothing today except fetching a few bits from the shop.

I'm stressing over my results next week. I know I shouldn't until there is something to stress about but I keep having little conservations with myself in my head and I'm driving myself insane! Everything else I've been dealing with over the last few months is finally over, this is the last hurdle and then I can get on with life (hopefully). I will certainly be celebrating the new year this time around!

My eating has been shocking today. Skipped breakfast, ate a pasty for lunch and no dinner as yet as I'm just not in the mood.

I realise my diary is pretty depressing at the minute so please don't feel you have to read or reply, it just helps me get things off of my chest as my oh tends to shrug my worries off.

I've just had a quick bath and now I'm off for a coffee and find something to keep my brain occupied!

 

[MysticalT]

Morning

Bit of a high syn day today, the family want pie but I've worked out that if I just have half of a quarter of it it's 9.5 syns ( using the 1 syn per 20 calorie rule). I can have pie!!! It is not going to be a habit though, that's too many syns for such a small piece of pie. I just need to figure out the syns for a touch of gravy now.

I'm off to look after the nephew's for a couple of hours later. Should be entertaining! Need to clean the car out this morning and fit a walk in there somewhere!

Just a week left until I return to work and I'm quite looking forward to it. 6 weeks is a long time to be off and it gets rather boring!

Puppy training is going well. We can do sit, paw and lay down so stay and recall are next. I have a specific whistle for my other dog so going to teach her the same. She's learnt that 'a,a' means stop chewing my feet...the cushions....my shoes.. ..the carpet.....my other dog lol. She's not as stupid as she looks .

Well, better get my hair dried and get on with things.

 

[MysticalT]

Time for some more rambling

So, the test results came back normal so I'm doing what he says and assuming all is well. The tablets do seem to be making a small difference 1 week on but I'm on them for 6 weeks so we'll see how it goes.

It's been a very stressful couple of months but as we reach the end of August everything appears to be sorted yippee!

I have discovered however that my fridge appears to be playing up too.

Anyway it's time for me I think. Time to think about how I want to be and how I'm going to do it. Weigh in tomorrow will be my fresh start.

My fitness band is on and I'm aiming for as close to 10000 steps a day as I can get. I eat very little fruit, I'm good with veg but not fruit so that's something I need to change.

Here's to moving forward and life being good to me for a change!

 

[MysticalT]

So weigh in and I'm up, no surprise there. Currently at 183.8lbs. I could get upset about it but I'm not. In fact it helps because the doctors were asking if I was losing any weight unintentionally and clearly that's not the case!

Back on track as much as possible today with a broken fridge. Off to get the part for the freezer today then see if we can figure out what's up with the fridge!

Puppy is almost allowed out so I can pick the walking back up. Walks have been shorter due to trying to carry a 7kg wriggling pup!

It's a lovely sunny day at the minute ( im in the uk and that could change in the next 5 minutes ) and I'm looking forward to the weekend!

 

[MysticalT]

So, had another visit to the doctor's today. Whatever the white lesion was has gone and they can't find anything worrying in my throat which makes me feel 100 times better!

My fridge and freezer are now working again so I can start building the healthy food back up.

It's been a rubbish month but fingers crossed the good vibes keep coming and I can get back on with this!

Fruit purchase is first on my agenda. Have a good day!

 

[MysticalT]

Back on with it today. Low syn dinner is planned, lamb shank, free mash, green beans and carrots. Breakfast will probably be hexb bread with scrambled egg. Lunch I'm not sure yet but I have apples and strawberries for snacks.

I've had a busy few days and for some reason my feet and ankles are killing me! Couldn't walk when I got up.

Off to buy much needed stuff for work next week. Like hair dye lol. Too many grey hairs appearing! Seriously though, daughter needs a blazer and I need stationary. I love stationary shopping! I might just treat myself to a new top or two and I need some boots. It's nice being off with the kids but 6 weeks is a long time, the 6am get up next week is going to be so hard.

It's looking grim outside today but I'll fit a walk in somewhere hopefully.

 

[MysticalT]

So today was a huge flop, I convinced myself there was no point as it's weigh in tomorrow ( silly cow). Aw well. New start tomorrow minus the bread for a week!

 

[xxheidicxx]

Start a fresh tomorrow you could try setting aside your sins each day (seen someone in another journal do that) so you know you have 3 treats to last the day & nothing else? I forgot the marg on my toast this morning & it ruined my breakfast, made me realise how important syns are lol. Good luck xx

 

[MysticalT]

I don't really do treats. I'm not big on sweets, ice cream, chocolate and such. I just look at a salad and think nah lol. Pasta gives me indigestion and as I'm the only one that cooks in this house I can't be bothered to do extra cooking most of the time.

I'm stubborn and lazy and don't mind admitting it . Things need to change!

 

[MysticalT]

So my weight is up but I'm not at all surprised. I'm now at 185.8lbs. 2 weeks being off plan, eating everything, no fridge, fried food..........

It's the 1st of September and I am not where I wanted to be so I have 2 choices now.

Choice 1: dwell on it and give up consoling myself with a tonne of garbage and still be here this time next year saying the same thing.

Choice 2: Give myself a kick and use it as a starting point rather than a finishing point. What's done is done but there's a way forward if I choose it.

I'm going for option 2!

 

[MysticalT]

So today food plan!

Breakfast - 1 large poached egg with baked beans

Snack - gala apple

Lunch - tuna, salad, tomatoes and beetroot

Snack - strawberries

Dinner - lamb shank in mint gravy, sw mash, green beans and carrots.

Drinks - water and coffee.

Exercise - walking the doggies.

Hexa is milk
Hexb alpen light bars.

Ive figured around 4 syns but I'm guessing with the lamb shank based on other varieties.

Let's see how this goes........

 

[MysticalT]

Why am I struggling so much to keep on track? I start the day so well, a plan in my head but by evening I've blown it on something.

There is a stubborn part in my brain that when I say 'no too many syns' it kicks in and says 'don't tell me you can't have it, you can and you will.'

Maybe it will be easier when I'm back at work next week, I won't be able to give in and just eat something else as there won't be anything else! Plus I'll be more tired so going to bed earlier so not as much time for night time snacking.

I know it's stupid because most things I can have on this plan if I syn it.

I really need to change my way of thinking.....

 

[Wolf]

We've all been there. It can be soooo hard to stay on track sometimes.

What I find works for me is setting small goals. Usually a function or an event that I want to be slimmer for . . . it can be anything, from night out to a wedding to a holiday, and it makes it a lot easier as it puts the journey into smaller, more manageable chunks.