Suze's Diary
- Thread starter Suzie31
- Start date
Hi Suzie yep terrified on Refeed as so don't want to put lots on! So far so good though finally got Refeed info from chemist & looking at that I am not eating enough can you believe that ha! Ha! The maintenance stuff is so thick like polyfilla really fills me up but tastes bit grim! Thanks for replying nice to get support. You are an inspiration keep at it. X
Well, I got weighed this morning and I lost 4 lb. So thats, 12 + 6 + 4 = 22 pounds now overall. Really going to push this week, (not sure how) by drinking more water and exercising every day to reach that 28 pound marker. I know your weight loss does slow but was hoping for more but I can't really quibble with 4lbs. On my own scales, I have lost a little more but that is because I weigh myself the moment I wake up with hardly any clothes on and everyone's weight fluctuates during the day. But I will go with the pharmacy figures. Today I slept a lot, I usually do get a post weigh in blues type of feeling as I go into the start of another week, by Friday, I feel like the week is nearly over and am looking forward to being weighed. But today and tomorrow are always a struggle. Soon, I will have been on this diet for 30 days which is really incredible. Even though losing this much weight always feels like this giant uphill struggle or this enormous journey, like say say it always starts with a single step. That is how I look at this, just get through today and then when you wake up you will be glad you didn't cheat and you will wake up and have lost even more weight.
Yeah I try to go as soon as wake up, to be weighed at the pharmacy but there figures are always 1-2 pounds higher than mine. Ah well - I guess scales do vary. I keep a track on what i'm losing on mine on a day to day basis - just out of curiosity I suppose. Knowing I am being weighed by someone else - keeps me on track though, it makes me accountable to someone. Even though the motivation I receive at the pharmacy is hardly life changing. It really is up to me after all. Today, I have felt really lethargic. I have been killing it at the gym recently, going every day and today just felt like it had all caught up with me. I rested for most of the day, luckily I am off at the moment and really take my hat off to those people who work and do this diet. Though I guess keeping busy does keep your mind off it all. Tonight, I tried the pepper mint tea with the chocolate shake, using the blender as always as i hate the bits and then I added lots and lots of ice. I have to say - what an improvement! The shakes taste so much better with ice and the change in flavour with the peppermint really made it drinkable. It is the monotony of the flavours that really get you down I think. Not sure I'd want it all the time - but it is nice to have the option.
Day 23, still at it and haven't broken the diet. I have found that I stay upstairs alot whilst cooking is taking place. I work on my laptop. So as not to be surrounded by cooking. Evening is the worst for that. The other night, my folks who I live with at the moment, ordered a dominos pizza and I specifically asked them to eat this whilst I was out at the gym. Annoyingly when I came home the box was there, still with pizza in it and a bottle of diet coke. It was like hell. My favourite things just there. I felt myself get really angry - but hey, they have to eat and they can eat what they like. I felt really fed up at that point. Even worse, later everyone had gone to bed and I tidied the kitchen as my mother isn't well at the moment - so found myself wrapping up the left over pizza and putting it in the fridge. Yeah so big temptation right in front of me. I didn't break it despite every part of me wanting to just devour the left overs. I knew exactly how I would feel afterwards - like utter crap! I resisted. Today, I went shopping for my mother also, as she felt too unwell - so found myself having to make food choices for other people. Walking around the supermarket, the deli etc...I just felt like I was in hell - the smells, the decisons etc...all these environments which for the last 20 days I have been lucky enough to remove myself from. I don't have a family to cook for - I am newly single - and I am able to remove myself from food until today. I managed to get through it all but these two experiences have not been easy. Still, I always find it gets easier towards the end of the week - and the scales are moving in right direction that's for sure.
Day 28, tomorrow will be my 4th weigh in. I am hoping to reach the 2 stone marker. Fingers crossed. Though the pharmacy scales are always higher than my own - much to my own annoyance.
The weekend is over and as funny as it is, whilst I am on this diet - as another weekend ends there is always this big sigh of relief as I know that some how I have coped with all the temptation and survived it without breaking it. Weekends are always so difficult, social events, food in your face and always questions from others. If I can get to another sunday without a catastrophe happening I feel like I deserve a major pat on the back.
This weekend, I managed to go on a long walk with friends and it felt great to be changing up my exercise pattern and to be out of the gym for once. I probably burnt off more calories anyway walking over such a long period. It rained the whole time but it was lovely to be outside and because I was so warm from walking it was very refreshing.
When we all came back from the walk - there was this rush for food by the others. I consoled myself with a chicken soup and yes the resentment was there as usual but I got through it. And that is the key really, its not impossible, its not easy but it is doable. I ate my soup and yeah it wasn't great but it filled a hole.
On the friday, I had had to make dinner for my folks and this was stressful really. I cooked an crispy duck and spent about 40 mins just finely chopping vegetables with such incredibly eye for detail. It's funny, normally would I have invested that much time in doing that - probably not. My family loved the food and were visibly dissappointed that I couldn't have some - well until they realised there was more for them I guess. Sorry about the food speak.
I am still obsessed with food in a way that I never was before the diet. Food programmes. Cooks. Food channel etc. I am imagining that it must fulfil something on some level for me mentally, some part of my brain that enables me to get some kind of satisfaction from it.
My goal for this week - is to get into the 14 stone catchment and to be well in there by the end of the week.
The weekend is over and as funny as it is, whilst I am on this diet - as another weekend ends there is always this big sigh of relief as I know that some how I have coped with all the temptation and survived it without breaking it. Weekends are always so difficult, social events, food in your face and always questions from others. If I can get to another sunday without a catastrophe happening I feel like I deserve a major pat on the back.
This weekend, I managed to go on a long walk with friends and it felt great to be changing up my exercise pattern and to be out of the gym for once. I probably burnt off more calories anyway walking over such a long period. It rained the whole time but it was lovely to be outside and because I was so warm from walking it was very refreshing.
When we all came back from the walk - there was this rush for food by the others. I consoled myself with a chicken soup and yes the resentment was there as usual but I got through it. And that is the key really, its not impossible, its not easy but it is doable. I ate my soup and yeah it wasn't great but it filled a hole.
On the friday, I had had to make dinner for my folks and this was stressful really. I cooked an crispy duck and spent about 40 mins just finely chopping vegetables with such incredibly eye for detail. It's funny, normally would I have invested that much time in doing that - probably not. My family loved the food and were visibly dissappointed that I couldn't have some - well until they realised there was more for them I guess. Sorry about the food speak.
I am still obsessed with food in a way that I never was before the diet. Food programmes. Cooks. Food channel etc. I am imagining that it must fulfil something on some level for me mentally, some part of my brain that enables me to get some kind of satisfaction from it.
My goal for this week - is to get into the 14 stone catchment and to be well in there by the end of the week.
Day 29 (well in an hour or so). Can't believe I will nearly be at the 30 day mark. Another goal to tick off, 30 days of this diet is no easy achievement that's for sure. Today, I have been trying to drink more water - and wow its hard. I really don't feel like it and have to really force myself to drink. Every week, the pharmacy is telling me I need to drink more water and I know that it will be the same tomorrow - arrghh. What to do? Today, was my parent's anniversary - and they went out for dinner and I think its so weird, I asked them in minute detail about what they had to eat and drink - from every course. It's like I get some kind of weird pleasure from listening to other people's food stories. Its bizarre. Today, I spent most of the day throwing away clothes and sorting through what fits and what doesn't. I must have thrown away about 2 black bin bags of clothes. It was quite a drastic step. Usually I have a variety of sizes of jeans, big ones for when I have been bigger, smaller ones from skinnier days and a variety of sizes. Throwing away the bigger sizes was quite hard - I mean what if I put the weight back on. I suppose I was saying to myself that I'm not going to put that weight back on so why do I need those clothes as a back up. My work trousers are too big now and I am close to fitting into my skinny (well smaller) work trousers - they are a bit tight right now, but over the next two weeks they should fit properly. It's funny, everything is either too big or too small right now. Luckily I have about 2 weeks before I go back to work - and hopefully this will give me the chance to sort out my wardrobe malfunction. I'm not quite ready to go shopping for new clothes - I always find it so demoralising! Yes I have lost weight but really in the grand scheme of things I am still overweight and still going to struggle with clothes. Right now, I don't need those kind of changing room set backs - I'd rather leave it a bit longer. I am looking forward to my weigh in tomorrow, even though I find the comments of the pharmacists so lacking sometimes. One of them even said to me without thinking, well if you're feeling down just have some food - and then corrected herself, I mean water she said. It was funny, I guess.
Hi
I loved reading your post because I too have been asking everyone about what meals they have had. I do it most days! Ive also become slightly obsessed with watching food programmes. I watched The hairy dieters earlier on bbc I player. And I ve been debating whether to throw my larger clothes out.... I thought I might vacuum seal them instead.... in case I put the weight back on, but that's not very positive is it? I should really get rid of them.
I've just done 5.5 weeks on TFR and am now on day 5 of refeeding and am paranoid about putting weight back on!! I put a quarter of a pound on this morn but its totm so im hoping that goes. I still have another half a stone to loose but have a few functions over the next couple of weeks so needed to refeed!
Keep up the hard work! 30 days good for you!
I loved reading your post because I too have been asking everyone about what meals they have had. I do it most days! Ive also become slightly obsessed with watching food programmes. I watched The hairy dieters earlier on bbc I player. And I ve been debating whether to throw my larger clothes out.... I thought I might vacuum seal them instead.... in case I put the weight back on, but that's not very positive is it? I should really get rid of them.
I've just done 5.5 weeks on TFR and am now on day 5 of refeeding and am paranoid about putting weight back on!! I put a quarter of a pound on this morn but its totm so im hoping that goes. I still have another half a stone to loose but have a few functions over the next couple of weeks so needed to refeed!
Keep up the hard work! 30 days good for you!
Hi Sandy, Yes I must say that whilst the clothes are in black bin bags, I must confess they are still in the spare room. I've yet to build up the courage to take them downstairs and to the charity shop. Not sure the charity shops needs plus size clothing really anyway but who knows. Yes I am tempted to stash them in a cupboard somewhere or under a bed - but I know that defeats the purpose. It's hard isn't it.
Glad I'm not the only one obsessed with food programmes. Yes I have been watching the hairy bikers and they really annoy me. I suppose what angers me is that the copious amount of calories they get to play with. They pat themselves on the back for making a dish that has 400 calories in it and I just think er I live on that a day. I think they've lost weight because they are simply eating less and exercising more.
Refeeding does seem quite scary really after TFR - I think most people on here find it quite nerve wracking. I kind of wonder whether TFR gives us this legitmised eating disorder? I feel very anxious now at the thought of eating food and social occasions that involve the pressure of eating. I wonder whether this will continue once I am on refeed also. Also, I think the way in which we eat so little and do so much on so little is very much the way anorexics live - the control over their food or lack of it - i kind of think is mirrors some of what we do. Anyway, I was just thinking this earlier and thought I might share.
Oh I got weighed today and lost 15 lbs, so thats 27 in total now in 4 weeks. Woo
Glad I'm not the only one obsessed with food programmes. Yes I have been watching the hairy bikers and they really annoy me. I suppose what angers me is that the copious amount of calories they get to play with. They pat themselves on the back for making a dish that has 400 calories in it and I just think er I live on that a day. I think they've lost weight because they are simply eating less and exercising more.
Refeeding does seem quite scary really after TFR - I think most people on here find it quite nerve wracking. I kind of wonder whether TFR gives us this legitmised eating disorder? I feel very anxious now at the thought of eating food and social occasions that involve the pressure of eating. I wonder whether this will continue once I am on refeed also. Also, I think the way in which we eat so little and do so much on so little is very much the way anorexics live - the control over their food or lack of it - i kind of think is mirrors some of what we do. Anyway, I was just thinking this earlier and thought I might share.
Oh I got weighed today and lost 15 lbs, so thats 27 in total now in 4 weeks. Woo
Hi - every post you write feels like I am reading about me! Obsession with food programs comes top of my list right now! You are doing SO well. I just wish it was working as well for me! How are you doing it!? I have hit major plateaux despite not cheating once!!! Well done you.
AvaGardner
Silver Member
Wow, did you lose 15lbs in one week Suze? Well done on ur weight loss to date, uve done so well.
Ava
xxx
Ava
xxx
shrinkingannie
Gold Member
Wow well done!! Give those clothes away, you don't need them anymore - you are slimmer now! Believe in yourself!
Day 43, I am on now. I have now lost 33 pounds in total. There have been a few hiccups this last week. Ive had diet coke and some milk in some drinks plus a can of tuna the other day. Back on the programme properly tomorrow. I am really noticing the difference now as are other people. I am keeping up with exercise. Today I even went climbing for the first time. The diet does still really impact my social life and is difficult but I do feel my confidence improving. Losing weight may have started because of negative comments and feelings from other people - but the reason I will keep going is for me.
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