Teenagers/young adults living at home....

[JackieN]

Lol,my Son always says his kids will be able to do whatever and he will be king of chill! H,m,m

Shirleen you're not awful, I'm a worry pot! I make things up to worry about! A lot comes from my Mother/ past/ ex/ mental breakdown/ the list goes on. I'm the Queen of "what if??????" happens.

Some people don't think of anything to worry about until the situation happens, I don't know how lol, but that's how you're built. Xx

But but but how can you be Queen of What If????? if I am there really are two of us??? xxxxx

I don't feel ready for her to leave home yet but wish it was a bit easier to have her living here!
She seems to go out more on week nights than weekend which drives me mad as sometimes we'd like her to go out so we could have a bit of time together if you know what I mean
We are going to have to have words today because Thurs she went out after college(assuming she went thurs) didn't communicate about it until a text late at night saying she was staying out and when i queried the fact she had college the next day she said she would get train from where she was. I didn't believe this and either she didn't go to college for part or all of her day and then she went out again during the day yesterday wasn't back to cook tea and load dishwasher as she was down on rota to do and then came back prob 7ish and went to bed!!!!
So lots of stuff to sort! She hasn't been too bad for a while but this week she has been out late a few nights which is part of why I am concerned as to who and or what is keeping her out!
Oh and its the way they are all independent when it suits and then when it doesn't suit suddenly they need your support again (like she has been out spending all her money and then now its spent its whooops I havent got my money to get to college next week what do I do!)
And breathe .........

Oh gosh I so sympathise my son is the same. and of course they are not stupid (well not when it comes to this bit) they know that as its college we will help them as we'd hate them not to go my son is on an apprenticeship which requires a bus to college once a week I have lost count of how many times he's needed the bus money.... I then feel I must give it as I don't want him to lose his job but then I wonder am I making him worse as this way hes not got to man up and be grown up as Mummy bails him out :family2:

Although they are 19 and nearly 19 I'm afraid, in my opinion if they wish to live at home (which I prefer because thats me as I'm a mother hen :giggle then there have to be a handful of house rules that suit us all.

I allow him out late fridays and Saturdays but my rule which is regularly broken is that he lets me know if coming home late or not coming home at all. I do feel this is a fair one even though he doesn't

Weekdays has to be in by midnight.

Helps out abit, ie drying up, does he do it, well if I stand over and nag him yes

I think while kids still live at home they should live by the house rules. I think I need to reiterate mine and see how we go. Yes they are 'adults' but they still come to us for things and want our help.

I am waffling again sorry

 

[Shirleen]

We've told Dprt that when she comes back and until she's working again she has to be up and dressed by 10am (before my hubby who works night was up before her), she has to take responsibility for keeping the house clean and tidy for three days a week she also needs to cook one meal a week.

Oh and NO lifts!!!!!

 

[Bunnylush]

I do insist on Son 19 being in night before college at a reasonable time,but to be fair, they usually are in by ten to play on Xbox. I wouldn't have that dissapear ing on a college night,as it's not good for her future. Being thrown out of college is one thing I won't tolerate and he's told regularly. I'm lucky neither of mine have ever skived school or college,I never either. Sounds like she needs to know your home your rules. And it's virtually impossible in this money climate for them to leave and get a flat x

 

[silly sausage]

My daughter is an old 16. I don't mind her staying out at the weekends as long as

1 - She tells me where she is.
2 - She keeps her phone on and answers it if I call her.

Not everyone's ideal, but it works for us.

 

[JemmaBe]

It used to really annoy me that I couldn't be honest about what I was doing with my parents. Until I turned 18 I had to lie all the time to make what I was doing acceptable. As soon as I was 18 my parents let me do my own thing, and I told them everything - so much safer.

 

[MadameLaMinx]

Am in exactly the same position. In fact, am sat here having been told by DS yesterday afternoon by text that his phone was dying (ie no battery left) and he was going back to his mates, where he had also stayed the night before, but would be back last night, not in for dinner though, and he still hasn't shown his face. I'm pretty angryface about this at the moment. He's 18 fair enough but also has Aspergers which makes him have little, if any common sense. Have sent him a couple of texts, one last night and one just now, but he will just say "my phone had no battery" and expect that to suffice. Like his friend doesn't have internet or a phone he could borrow...

I just hope he is ok...

 

[JackieN]

Am in exactly the same position. In fact, am sat here having been told by DS yesterday afternoon by text that his phone was dying (ie no battery left) and he was going back to his mates, where he had also stayed the night before, but would be back last night, not in for dinner though, and he still hasn't shown his face. I'm pretty angryface about this at the moment. He's 18 fair enough but also has Aspergers which makes him have little, if any common sense. Have sent him a couple of texts, one last night and one just now, but he will just say "my phone had no battery" and expect that to suffice. Like his friend doesn't have internet or a phone he could borrow...

I just hope he is ok...

sweetie :bighug: they are thoughtless. My son has done this a few times lately despite me explaining why its important to let us know where he is and when home its horrible :bighug: xxxxxx

 

[MadameLaMinx]

sweetie :bighug: they are thoughtless. My son has done this a few times lately despite me explaining why its important to let us know where he is and when home its horrible :bighug: xxxxxx

Thanks. As predicted, he rocked up about 2.30 claiming that he had no method of being able to get in touch. I dunno, if I wasn't able to let someone know I wasn't going to be home, and the only thing preventing me going home was a good time, I would have gone home anyway, even if just to say "just popped back to say I am staying out". Maybe that's just me.

Have delivered the lecture about making sure phone has enough charge, and that he has a quid in his bag to make phone call at all times - not much I can do but to swallow the "bullshine" and move on. It's sometimes harder parenting an adult than it is a child, I reckon...

 

[Rodders]

Being a 20 year old girl I thought it might help to see another side for this!
I allow (yes she requires permission!) to have a couple of my friends mobiles numbers who I'm going to be out with. We both know that she'll only use them if she can't for whatever reason get hold of me. It means that I tell her who I'm with just so that, I feel for my safety more than anything, we can get hold of each other. The off chance that she might ring for whatever reason means that I always tell her who I'm with!!
I try and give her a rough time of when I'll be in but know that she never settles until I am in. If I'm going to be later than I told her then I just give her a quick text to let her know.
I'm not necessarily a 'well behaved' daughter as we (mostly!) all sometimes do things we shouldn't (I don't smoke or do drugs!) but a simple thing like her having contact numbers means that we're both happy when I'm out.
Also, mum has let me drink indoors from a young age and so when I got to 18 I wasn't really fussed. Even now I only drink around twice a year which I think has really helped with the whole 'teenagers binge drinking' problem!

 

[*Emsie*]

Unfortunately I lost it with her today so that has put me in the wrong and its going to be a while before it is sorted and now I just want to get pissed and eat doritos cos I cba :cry:
Hohum the joys of motherhood!
I know I am lucky to have children but as I said before it is hard work, hard hard work

 

[JackieN]

Unfortunately I lost it with her today so that has put me in the wrong and its going to be a while before it is sorted and now I just want to get pissed and eat doritos cos I cba :cry:
Hohum the joys of motherhood!
I know I am lucky to have children but as I said before it is hard work, hard hard work

:bighug: you wouldn't be human if you didnt lose it with her sometimes. Its very frustrating and they don't come with a manual As parents we can only do our best and stick to our principals really :bighug: and hope that one day they see we were only doing it for their own good :bighug:

 

[*Emsie*]

Thanks x and to everyone for the comments replies all are helpful but heads a bit too all over the place at the mo to reply to them properly.
Shes gone over to my mums tonight as was sort of planned anyway but that annoys me because she will make me out to be the baddie and her the poor deprived one oh and probably get money out of her to replace the alg money she is supposed to use for getting to college but has already spent!

 

[shebedee]

I know she will grow up and one day I'll look back with a wry smile when my daughter has children of her own. I still must say that I would rather look after a roomful of 2 year olds for a week than be a mum to a teenage daughter for a week.
My daughter is 20 now and just starting to be a pleasant person most of the time. I have been through really horrible times since she was about 15.

Ah..lightbulb...maybe that's why I'm finally getting to grips with my weight loss.

 

[Bunnylush]

I always say that,give me ten 2 yr olds any day! My friend went on holiday years ago and I looked after my two and her 5 children for a week,on my own. They were aged 18 months to 7 , honestly it was a breeze compared to the shock of a teens gob! X