The 1st day of the rest of my healthy life!

OOH thanks Claire, you are such positive person.

Yes Summer, thankyou, that will really help me to get my head straight for nex week.

Emma and Lotie, it's such a relief to know it's not just me who has difficulty with self-control when given a free-reign over all those tasty carbs!! Not sure how many people would understand that...
 
Day 23

WHAT A GOD AWFUL DAY!

At 9.20 this morning, just as I was rushing around getting dressed to dash out and pik up my friend for yoga class, my baby decided to launch herself head first off the bed, landing on her headface/neck/shoulder. :eek: It was quite a stunt!

Wel after an ear-piercing scream and an ocean of uncontrollable tears I managed to pull myself together and console baby (I can joke about it 8 hours later!).

a big red lump came up almost immediately and her arm seemed a bit floppy at first but after a long cuddle she started to move it without any aparent pain. I decided against going to the doctors or A and E with her (fingers crossed this was the right decision...:( ) and just kept a close eye on her all day.

She has been very clingy and off her food most of day but then her napping routine was all knocked out of synch because of her acrobatics so that may have something to do with her loss of appetite too. Saying that she is polishing off macaroni chese and spinach as I type! :rolleyes:

My so-called job-share partner (long, complicated story...) rang this afternoon to see how I was. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of month cos I can't face speaking to anyone from work and tody was one of the worse days for her to ring! By the end of that call think she was feelig worse than me! Had to tell her my GP signed me off for another 8 weeks yesterday so don't think that will go down too well either :rolleyes: .
Got a v. busy day tomorow including an earlier weigh-in cos driving up to mums on Fri. Not expecting any great shakes tho a it is my TOTM. :( Could of done with the pick-me-up really.

Then am meeting some friend from work for a celebratory drink as one of my v. good friends has just finished a course of cemotherapy for breast cancer so baby and I are joining them for a drink (water for me, SMA for her :rolleyes: ). But it's a great reason to celebrate all the same.

Right. Must go cook dinner for F.
 
Hi Jeanie,

Oh no, I hope that she's OK! How distressing that must have been for you. Not a brilliant start to the day I agree.

AT least you faced work and they know that your return isn't imminent and so that should give you some breathing space for a while.

Hows it going on the CD front? Are you still managing to SS?

Anyway, I hope that you chill out this evening, ahead of your busy few days ahead.
 
Oh no! Poor baby :( I hope she's feeling better after having eaten again, and I'll definitely be giving her an extra special cuddle tomorrow (if she's up to it of course :) ).

Fingers crossed for a nice surprise tomorrow, honey!

Love
 
Day 24

Well I can safely say that today has been a whole lot better than yesterday!

In no particular order, these are the things that have pleased me today:
  • Baby is ok after yesterday's accident. Has a graze/carpet burn on her forehead but no permanent damage.
  • Saved £20 on a new car seat.
  • Had 2 conversations with 2 different people about my return to work (or possbly not) with getting tearful or panicy and hyperventilating.
  • sent medical cert to boss (been putting it off):rolleyes: .
  • Lost 5lb despite it being TOTM.:D :D
  • Had a 'Summer boost' :) (my CDC ) to get me on the right track for AAM week ahead.
Just got back from the pub (hic, too much fizzy water!;) ). Was celebrating my friend finishing her chemo for breast cancer. She is such am amazingly strong person and I have nothing but admiration for the way she has dealt with this. Am on a bit of a high just fom being in her company.

Was thinking last night about how awful the day had been when I had a revelation. Not only did I cope with a very distressing and emotional situation without turning to food, BUT it didn't even enter into my head to do so!! Not at any point did I thnk of comforting/rewardingmyself with food, nor did i use it to block out the guilt I felt at letting it happen. :D
Am pleased that I have proven to myself that:
  • food wouldn't have made baby any better.
  • food wouldn't have made me feel any better in the long run.
  • I can cope with a (mini) first aid situation.
  • The world is alright again today.
But most of all I am chuffed that I AM AWARE OF THESE THINGS!! Ths site is great for self-analysis - so long as I keep it positive. :)
 
Hi Jeanie,

What a fantastically positive outcome to yesterday's day. Am really pleased that you feel so happy, positive and in control. Self Analysis is great and you have this to look back on when you have another bag of lifes cr%p thrown at you and need a positive reinforcement of how far you have come.

WELL DONE on your 20lb loss in 23 days!! A great result and it's only a few days until your AAM week - are you doing it?

I'm glad that you got a chance to post your news, as you said that you are away tomorrow.
 
Hi shimsham
I saved you from the depths of page 2! :eek:
Very glad to hear that baby is ok, and loved to hear all about your positive day, not even thinking about food when stressed~ thats a major breakthrough! well done to you!

Your doing so well and i really admire how your battling on!
 
Shimsham said:
Day 24

Well I can safely say that today has been a whole lot better than yesterday!

In no particular order, these are the things that have pleased me today:
  • Baby is ok after yesterday's accident. Has a graze/carpet burn on her forehead but no permanent damage.
  • Saved £20 on a new car seat.
  • Had 2 conversations with 2 different people about my return to work (or possbly not) with getting tearful or panicy and hyperventilating.
  • sent medical cert to boss (been putting it off):rolleyes: .
  • Lost 5lb despite it being TOTM.:D :D
  • Had a 'Summer boost' :) (my CDC ) to get me on the right track for AAM week ahead.
Just got back from the pub (hic, too much fizzy water!;) ). Was celebrating my friend finishing her chemo for breast cancer. She is such am amazingly strong person and I have nothing but admiration for the way she has dealt with this. Am on a bit of a high just fom being in her company.

Was thinking last night about how awful the day had been when I had a revelation. Not only did I cope with a very distressing and emotional situation without turning to food, BUT it didn't even enter into my head to do so!! Not at any point did I thnk of comforting/rewardingmyself with food, nor did i use it to block out the guilt I felt at letting it happen. :D
Am pleased that I have proven to myself that:
  • food wouldn't have made baby any better.
  • food wouldn't have made me feel any better in the long run.
  • I can cope with a (mini) first aid situation.
  • The world is alright again today.
But most of all I am chuffed that I AM AWARE OF THESE THINGS!! Ths site is great for self-analysis - so long as I keep it positive. :)
Click to expand...


This is such a positive post Jeanie and yes, very self-aware and reflective.

I smiled the whole way through reading it and nodded at all the bullet points you made:D

Lacey....x
 
Day 28
I am trying to summon up the energy to update my diary but for the 1st time since starting CD I have none!
Had a lovely weekend with my family up in Yorkshire but am exhausted from th drive and sleeping on an airbed in Mum's front room! Also baby gets v. little sleep when we visit cos there just aren't enough hours in the day for all my family to send with her. It's lovey but i'm left to it when she is tired and grizzly!:rolleyes:

Pleased to say that I got NO GRIEF from anyone about my diet - in fact, mum said I look healthier than I have in a long time. :D (combination of diet and making big decisions about work I reckon.)

AAM week gone well so far. Took a bag of salad and some cottage cheese to Mum's, just for convenience as much as anything. Friday (day 1) was easy - the novelty of eating real food again was enough! was also meticulous about portions which turned out to be more than I had expected. Result!:)

Saturday was harder... My sister and family came round for tea and mum put on a BIG buffet. Delicious breads, cheeses, king prawns, salad, nachos etc, etc, etc!! Not to mention the chocolate cake, pavlova, cheese cake.:(

'This is fine,' I thought, afterall, I resisted temptation when babysitting. BUT the food sat there for AGES, just there, on the table. Right there between me and the sink which I dutifully trapsed back to over and over again to keep up my water intake. And each time i passed it called out to me ''Go on, a bite won't hurt. It is your AAM week after all...''
In the end I gave in to temptation.
'Protein' I thought, 'I'll have some prawns''. So I did. I put 4 on a plate. Ate one and can you beleive it was flavourless?? FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!!! i was overjoyed and put the rest in the bin.
However, later that evening, as everyone around me tucked into yet MORE delicious carbs, it got me again. Once again i thought 'protein will be less damaging' and ate the last 100g of cotage cheese in the fridge. Nobody said a word! Did they even notice I wonder?:confused:

Well, i could EASILY got myself into a spiral of self-loathing and binged on that but I thought NO. 100g extra of low fat cottage cheese WILL NOT put weight on me! It might not eve stop me losing any! What a fool I would be to undo allthe good work in the last month over a spoonful of cottage chese!

So, Last night when we came home, I weighed outsome quorn (big mistake as my stock was out of date!:eek: ) and had it with grilled mushrooms and tonight I had grilled mushrooms with a piece of white fish. NOW THAT WAS TASTY!:p

I have been having more difficulty drinking my water. Dunno if it's the cold weather, the disruption to my usual routine or because am cooking and eating when I would normally be guzzling but will carry on trying.:rolleyes:

Not sure how i am feeling as my sense of tiredness is overpowering all other emotions...

Gonna go read some posts then drag myself off to bed. Afterall, tomorrow is another day :)
 
Shimsham said:
Day 28
I am trying to summon up the energy to update my diary but for the 1st time since starting CD I have none!
Had a lovely weekend with my family up in Yorkshire but am exhausted from th drive and sleeping on an airbed in Mum's front room! Also baby gets v. little sleep when we visit cos there just aren't enough hours in the day for all my family to send with her. It's lovey but i'm left to it when she is tired and grizzly!:rolleyes:

Pleased to say that I got NO GRIEF from anyone about my diet - in fact, mum said I look healthier than I have in a long time. :D (combination of diet and making big decisions about work I reckon.)

AAM week gone well so far. Took a bag of salad and some cottage cheese to Mum's, just for convenience as much as anything. Friday (day 1) was easy - the novelty of eating real food again was enough! was also meticulous about portions which turned out to be more than I had expected. Result!:)

Saturday was harder... My sister and family came round for tea and mum put on a BIG buffet. Delicious breads, cheeses, king prawns, salad, nachos etc, etc, etc!! Not to mention the chocolate cake, pavlova, cheese cake.:(

'This is fine,' I thought, afterall, I resisted temptation when babysitting. BUT the food sat there for AGES, just there, on the table. Right there between me and the sink which I dutifully trapsed back to over and over again to keep up my water intake. And each time i passed it called out to me ''Go on, a bite won't hurt. It is your AAM week after all...''
In the end I gave in to temptation.
'Protein' I thought, 'I'll have some prawns''. So I did. I put 4 on a plate. Ate one and can you beleive it was flavourless?? FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!!! i was overjoyed and put the rest in the bin.
However, later that evening, as everyone around me tucked into yet MORE delicious carbs, it got me again. Once again i thought 'protein will be less damaging' and ate the last 100g of cotage cheese in the fridge. Nobody said a word! Did they even notice I wonder?:confused:

Well, i could EASILY got myself into a spiral of self-loathing and binged on that but I thought NO. 100g extra of low fat cottage cheese WILL NOT put weight on me! It might not eve stop me losing any! What a fool I would be to undo allthe good work in the last month over a spoonful of cottage chese!

So, Last night when we came home, I weighed outsome quorn (big mistake as my stock was out of date!:eek: ) and had it with grilled mushrooms and tonight I had grilled mushrooms with a piece of white fish. NOW THAT WAS TASTY!:p

I have been having more difficulty drinking my water. Dunno if it's the cold weather, the disruption to my usual routine or because am cooking and eating when I would normally be guzzling but will carry on trying.:rolleyes:

Not sure how i am feeling as my sense of tiredness is overpowering all other emotions...

Gonna go read some posts then drag myself off to bed. Afterall, tomorrow is another day :)
Click to expand...

Tommorow IS another day honey and when you've had more sleep you will feel like your old self again....:) :) :)
 
Hiya Jeanie

It sounds like did really well over the weekend. Just make sure you stick to the AAM portions for the rest of the week and you'll be just fine :)

Hope you have a good sleep and wake refreshed and revitalised.

Keep glugging the water, honey! You know it makes sense ;)

See you soon!

Love
 
Yes I agree with Isis, today is another day! I don't think that you've done any damage to your diet or jeopardised your hard work. Hopefully you will have more energy today and see things a lot differently.

AAM brings different issues that we have with food into question and I guess thats one of the reasons that it was introduced, so that you can start to control it more than it controls you. You are doing that!

Maybe force yourself to update your diary if you feel the need to give yourself a pep talk today? It does me wonders. Also if it's yoga day, that should give you the inner peace. It was probably just the change of routine and the introduction of AAM all at once that has made you feel a bit lacklustre.

Anyway, good luck with this new day and hopefully your energy will be restored aswell!
 
Hi shimsham
You did fantastic to resist all that food, all day long and to walk past it too, you are one brave lady! ;)

Hope your well rested, your vibes really come through on your posts, we can tell when things just arn't right!
As lottie says an update on here may do you good!

Your doing brill to have got this far, well done!
 
Thanx girls fo all your messages of support. I good nights leep did wonders for my mood and i'm almost ready for another one!

Day 29

A pretty uneventful day by all accounts. Wen to other and baby group to find that one of my baby daughter's friend had also had a head injury last week - nice to know that I'm NOT the most useless mother on the planet afterall! :eek:

Although I did then drag my tired baby crying around the supermarket! Still, none of it was for me so not QUITE as selfish as I would have been were I stocking u on junk! :)

I have a friend and her daughter coming to stay on Thursday so I had to buy dinner in for them. Gonna do spag bol - only ever done it with quorn before so God only knows how it will taste! Even bought a cake tho I must confess I didn't buy the one that had me licking my lips (I stopped just short of licking the box! :p .

Another frind came round to visit tonight and I was washing up when she arrived. She walked into the kitchen (I had my back to her) and she said "WOW haven't you lost weight!! You look really good!" i was well chuffed as I haven't told her about CD but I did see her just 11 days go when we went out for the night and she never mentioned anything then! (random grin time!!:D :D) Am goin to an xmas do with her next week so wil have to buy a new top at the very least I reckon. Think I might like to have a drink too. Will have to ponder on it I think...

Yesterday a book arrived that I ordered on amazon. It's called 'The Hunger Within: a twelve week programme to stop compulsive eating'. I started to read it last night and there looks to be some interesting excercises (mental, not physical!) but you really do need to be eating to do most of them. Think i will see how far I can go with it before I need to use food for th excercises. I AM BITTERLY DETERMINED to keep it off this time! :mad: :mad:

Didn't get to yoga on Friday night, my friend was ill and feeling as tired as I did that was the only excuse I needed to miss it but I will be going in morning. Think i might be the only bit of excersise I get this week.:rolleyes:




 
Shimsham said:
Oh, I just realised, I had my baby weighed last week and she is now 19lb1 which is ALMOST the same as I have lost! It's hard to imgine carrying her PLUS 19lb extra of my own at the same time!

PHEW!!
Click to expand...

Yeah - but she's such a great cuddle! :D

I've got a book here which you might like to borrow which I used for my Life Coaching course called "How to break free from emotional eating". It's very useful I think.

See you Thursday!

Love
 
Hi Jeanie,

It really puts it in perspective doesn't it when you hold something that is an equivalent weight to what you have lost. I might have to get the dumb-bells out next time I'm giving myself a hard time.

Well done on getting back to positive thoughts and I hope that you enjoy the compliments as its only just the start...:D . I'm very impressed with your determination for this to be for keeps as well.
 
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