I think if anything you can acknowledge where you've gone wrong over the past few months, and look at what has been in your path and thrown you off?
For me personally, I used to be a massive comfort eater. Hence why I took up running... It distracted my mind more, and when I felt low and down it gave me a boost, and the fresh air and time on my own made me realise all was not that bad.
Another problem I had was using food to celebrate everything. We now go on days out, or unfortunately for my purse when I acheive something, I buy something nice, like a candle, or shoes, or a bag.
I'm also a massive binge eater, I don't know when I'm full. So, I stopped buying things in the house, and I made sure to leave my money in the bank, no change for buying extra bits and bobs in the shop, and I looked into healthier ways of eating.
If I was going into boots for a meal deal, I wouldn't want the grapes, I'd want the chocolate bar or crisps, and then once I've had that bit, I want more, and same with the sandwiches, I could easily eat 2 sandwiches, even now!! So I tried to put a stop to that, made my lunches the night before and took things to work with me, stopped myself giving in to temptation if the temptation wasn't there.
Just a few ideas. Sorry if i've gone on a bit there lol it's lovely having you back, and you don't need to be sorry to anyone, you're doing this for you, and thats the main thing you have to remember. No one else is worried about what the scales say, they just want to see you with a big smile on your face and feeling good. xxx