The fat is back

Back...again!

So, I’m starting all over again, not quite right from the beginning but a huge chunk of fat has made itself at home inside my body and it needs to GO!!!

I’m into day 2 of SS’ing, and bu&&er me, I don’t ever remember it being this hard first time round! I’M STARVING…but that’s not the worst, I’m grumpy, snappy, dizzy and nauseous….ergghhh….but, I know that come Friday, Saturday at the latest, I’ll be in Keto heaven, energized, de-toxified and beautified…mmm, mmm, mmm!!!

So, where have I been, and what has brought me here….I think last time I checked in I got half way through day one and quit….but that was just a few kilos extra….73 I believe? Weigh in Tuesday morning was 79.8,,,,,hell why not just round that up to an even 80 as I was completely starkers and nothing, not even a thimble full of saliva had entered this ever expanding stomach of mine!

So, how’d you get there Paula? An emotional two month binge that started after I discovered I was pregnant in mid-November. A little surprised at first, Xiao Zhou and I were delighted, another Summer Baby! As ecstatic as I was, I was a little scared…I kept having a dull pain in my right side, but a couple of trips to the hospital buried my suspicions that the baby was ectopic. “All newly pregnant mum’s to be have that fear, don’t worry’, I think were the exact words of the OBGyn. A couple of weeks later in early December however, I’m being rushed into ER with severe pain on the right side of my lower abdomen, an ectopic the size of a ping-pong ball and the heartbeat of a bull. Emergency surgery removed the physical pain, bingeing on Chocolate, bread, butter, biscuits, crisps, and huge helpings of breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, supper plus any other meal I could fit in there helped with the emotional pain…..
…….but boy, am I so over that……

….I’m fine, pretty happy that I’m still alive actually and hoping to stay that way for a helluva while yet….so, this pounding heart when I’m lying in my bed and this killing back-ache that has followed me around for the past few weeks, the fatigue, the dull eyes, hair and skin are no longer welcome and will just need to find somewhere else to breed! I’M ALIVE……I’m gonna live this life and if it takes a stone and a half of extra weight to pull me back into the right frame of mind then so bloody well be it!

One thing I must confess to any of you who drop by to read my diary or leave a note, one of the reasons I have been estranged for so long is because I embarrass myself by not dropping by and sending my love, regards and thoughts on your pages as often as I wish I could…..but I need to get over that. I run three schools, have a three year old daughter and a little side-business selling this magic stuff, so I just need to be a little more lenient on myself and hope that you will be too! (But please don’t stop visiting me!!!....Selfish? Sorry!)

I’ve decided that I will sole source for at least a month. I am going to try not to weigh myself at all during this time. I hope to reach my goal sometime soon and FIT BACK INTO ALL OF MY LOVELY CLOTHES <SOB…SOB>. But, don’t worry, I haven’t bought any new and refuse to do just that so, there’s gonna be one wobbly naked lady running around the Jing in a month or two if I don’t get a grip and now!!!

‘Til next time me dears…..wish me luck.

Mwaw!
 
Very good luck Paula!

Sorry to hear about your ectopic pregancy- how right your instincts were.

And now your instinct to start coming back to life after an understandable time of pulling back from life a bit sounds like it will take you through the highs and lows of SS ing.

The great thing about a website like this is it's always still here- for those who come on every day and for those who drop in when they can. People will still get lots out of you posting about your journey when you can. (I've just been reminded by you of my feelings around SS- and also of being on Minimins, so that's useful for starters). The mixture is so good- and there's always lots of people who'll listen and lots of people who'll post. That's why it works I think.

Good luck again, hope the ketosis fairy kicks in soon!

Kate xx
 
Thanks Kate...you are a trooper!

Nealry caved, but am sitting here with my pot of oolong, holding out for another half an hour before I have my third pack. I also had half a bar yesterday and the other half as soon as I walked through the door today. Hoping that that doesn't do too much to delay ketosis.

Xiao Zhou has taken Eiriana out for dinner as I'm a bit explosive right now and probably shouldn't be around too many people! Am gonna watch a nice fillum me thinks...mmm....lying in bed with a cuppa tea and a nice chick flick....what scrummies could be better than that?
 
Hi Paula,
lots of hugs and good luck wishes from me to you.

So sorry to hear of the ectopic but you are a very strong lady and have come through some very tough stuff, and true to form you are off fighting like a trooper again to get back to your goal instead of wallowing in self pity for months.

You will do it and once again be a true inspiration to all that read your diary.

Take care xxx
 
Welcome back! Sorry to hear about what has happened!

But if you need any motivation at all just look at your signature! That should be enough motivation for anyone!

Good luck :)
 
Thank you guys and gals for all the support....
......*******, and do I need it. Headache is horrendous today....chopped Eiriana an apple earlier and couldn't resist sneaking a few chunks...not too much, but it may mean another day or even half...waiting to get into ketosis....which means....more hunger to fight temptation...aaarrrrggghhhh!!!!

Am gonna lie down with my cuppa tea for a while to see if this headache will go...
 
Paula,

SO good to see you back - I've been worried about you. Obviously I'm not glad for you that you're having to go back on the diet....but I'm so glad you're ok in yourself.

Won't be long until you can change your name on here again!

Chin up....you're ace at this diet, that weight'll drop off really quickly.

Cate x
 
Hey Cate,

Thank you sweetie! I'm feeling really positive again...had a lovely HOT,HOT bath, scrubbed myself with my lovely scrub then smothered myself with body butter....made a strawberry shake up with mousse mix (never really liked strawberry shake before) and I'm in heaven....WHY DID I NEVER HAVE THIS MOUSSE MIX BEFORE....wonderful, so filling, so delicious, like angel delight!!!

So all is looking good again.....
.....have a manic weekend ahead of me that I'm not really looking forward to. Opening a new school and have a huge presentation to do on Saturday afternoon, the morning will be a Temple Fair to welcome the Year of The Ox at one of the other campuses....that'll be fun, but I know I'll be dreading the afternoon so I probably won't enjoy myself!:sigh:

Anyhew....the troops are eating dinner so I'm hiding myself away in the bedroom....must go to dry my hair...love and kisses
 
I absconded for two days...but here I am back again....and feeling great, freshly sprinkled with ketosis dust!

Had a medical Friday morning, so had to get weighed for that....fully clothed and with water in my tum....I smiled!:rolleyes:
My plan was not to weigh for 6 weeks, but I really don't think that I can do that. I should hide the weighing scales away and maybe just pull them out every week, have an official weigh in with hubby every Tuesday....think I might just announce that and sneak them away as since Friday I've jumped on two more times! I was feeling really down when I got up yesterday morning and a little jump on the scales put a huge smile back on my face and a little bit of a spring back in my step. Yesterday lots of people asked if I'd lost weight...yey! I had the blue Chinese style jacket on (the one in my signature) it's too big for me, but it is very pretty and always draws a lot of compliments!

Have degressed some...the reason for not weighing for six weeks was that I would really like to get as close to goal as possible and I know as soon as I get within 5 kilos of goal, I'll start pulling back and relaxing a little....so if I can't see where I am, maybe I'll reach it....but after two days on this crazy diet, I looked at my face in the mirror and knew that 6 weeks would maybe do a little damage to this pretty little mug of mine....Ill lose from my face, shoulders, collar and chest and the belly'll still have a couple of kilo's to go...I know that I could look gaunt...so my decision...written in black and white... will be to weigh once a week.....


.....ahhh, I'm drivelling this morning, sorry....blabber, blabber, blabber!!!!

Do you know, my skin has become so greasy since I started back....I think that the fat is actually seeping out of the pores of my face......euwch!!!

So...as 100% as I have been trying to be, I'd rate myself as 98% on Friday, (snook a little Tofu...good choice, but it had been cooked with a bit of oil and soy sauce!) 96% yesterday...half a bag of salted popcorn:)eek:) .... my Valentine's treat whilst watching Winnie The Pooh's Valentine For You! and three small (50p piece size) of pork (again, stir fried in oil and soy sauce). We shall see today if this has damaged ketosis in any way or form!!!:rolleyes:


I've been cutting down some on my water as I almost scared myself to death reading about the lady who died after drinking too much water doing the Lighter Life programme. I can easily down 8 litres a day (I drink constantly throughout the day) even when I'm not dieting, I would usually drink 3-4 litres. But, I've cut back quite a lot, probably just taking in a max of 4 litres per day right now....scary stuff!!


So apart from all of this...I'm feeling pretty good. Had a manically busy day yesterday, so didn't really celebrate Valentines....but hell...who need a day to show love and affection in a commercial way....


Sunday morning ramble over...see ya soon!!!

Mwaw
 
Oooh, and i hate getting weighed at doctors.. they don't let you take your shoes off or anything.. all those "things" that we do to make ourselves lighter.. mean people.. lol..
x x
 
Thanks girls!!..


....but let me just back track a little...how long have I been away...Ms. Cat...you're pregnant??!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

WOW! And pretty far gone too....why didn't I know this! I hope that everything is going well for you Cat! Take Care!


Pretty good day today except that a Werther's original made it's way into my mouth without my brain even knowing, crunched up an'all before I even realised, so, swallowed it down and hoped for the best!:eek:

Down to three packs a day now though, so hoping to keep this role for at least another month....

....I don't remember this happening so much last time though, but my every thought is consumed by food and stuff that I can smell and taste as soon as the thought of it pops into my head.....sheesh!

Gottas go....busy.....see ya's soon!
 
Lol.. thanks =) yeah.. tis quite a shock isnt it.. i was shocked too..! lol..
Kopcat a little worried thre for a minute.. lol..!!
Werthers originals are too nawdy.. they just always get you with their damn niceness.. lol.. Well done on your 3 packs down though.. you're doing great..!
x x
 
hahaha....sorry Cate...and fabulous Cat!!!

Ahhhhhh...what am I doing...I'm on a binge that I know I will regret....I've sat here eating a huge plate of fruit salad that Eiriana just made, plus I ate 4-5 teeny mandarins prior to this little binge.

I know that really, all the fruit is gonna do is take me out of ketosis (but the way I felt today, I think that the popcorn..werthers may have done that already....I know that the fruit is probably the best thing to binge on if one were to choose to binge but...ahhhh...bu&&er....

......Shall see how tomorrow goes and try to get myself back on track
 
Another mini-binge on baby mandarin's....they need to be all gone!!!

A good day, I know I've put myself out of ketosis, but I don't feel yuck, just a bit hungry when I got home...so raided the fruit bowl.....it could be a lot worse....one of the assistants at school just got married and brought me a huge bag of 'lucky' candy....it sat on my desk staring at me for half of the morning, til I could take no more, banished it to a black bag over the other side of the room until I could get it safely hoome - unscathed - to Eiriana!!!

Weigh in this morning and pretty happy with a non-100% week one. A 10 pound - 4.5kg loss....yey hey!!!!

Watch this space!!
 
well, goood evening, Mrs paula!
is it safe to say that i'm not the only one finding cd/ss much harder this time around? :17729: i cant seem to get through a full week without nibbling..but i try to stick to non-carb nibbling. but that just tricks the mind into making it "ok" to keep eating. and then of course, fynn's treats just calling my name from the cupboards! :party0051:

last sunday, i set a planned meal-out for the bday...we dropped the kids off at the sitters place and then ended up being very late and lost (its wales after all)...so i decided what i'd like much much more would be to go to sains's and pick my own meat and green veg instead of having to ask the waiter "this on the side, veg instead of potato/chips, no dressing/ blah blah blah..." i luved it! but i didn't stop at the meat and veg. of course, it turned into a crazy eating day...oh dear. i was in a total food coma!

i got back on the wagon yesterday and have been going strong since. it's an hour-by-hour battle it seems. :sigh: trying not to weigh myself til this coming weekend for fear of facing the damage ive caused.

on that note though, well done on the 10lb loss!!! thats brilliant! now, stop...and step away from the friut bowl!! ;)

here's to a strong-willed week ahead for us both...
xx
 
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