Joodle
Silver Member
Trudy Trude!
Hello, hello, and please forgive me my absence. I will explain all but for now I just want to say that I got sucked in to catching up on your diary - unintentionally really as I just meant to have a quick skim read but once I started it was so compelling and I needed to go back and follow your route to the tummy op and beyond.
While I was reading (took about 3 days to catch up!), I went through every conceivable emotion! Nothing that hasn't been mentioned but just being massively impressed by your courage and tenacity, by your manically busy life and how much you give of yourself to other people. I was rooting for you through all the dieting ups and downs too - was glad you went for the op as you clearly had thought it through and wanted it, and then totally relate to your ups and downs with the binging, desperately wanting to be able to do something to help but we all know, it's down to us really. There's some mad switch in our heads and we just need to be able to control it.
Most of all I'm impressed that you have kept posting. And you really are doing incredibly well, despite the ups and downs. I'm glad you're getting support through OA as while reading, I was really hoping you would get some counselling or support from somewhere - the worst thing isn't the binging, it's that it makes you feel crappy afterwards.
I have to say, I feel that reading your journey over several months has maybe given me a bit of an overview. I mean, at first you were definitely in a binge/be strict cycle, which didn't seem very productive. You'd binge, then come here and confess, get told it was ok, be good for a few days then binge again. The latter posts however seem to show that you've had a bit more control - not always but you've definitely been able to put a halt to things before they got too bad and I don't think you should underestimate how hugely important that is. Sorry if I'm making observations here that aren't accurate as I know I've been totally AWOL and probably don't get the half of it but honestly, reading your diary has been so emotional - I really do feel like we're all in it with you!
Totally love hearing about what you're learning through OA too - please keep us up to date with what you learn. I just can't put into words how much I respect you and how much strength I'm wishing you through this. You've done so very well, I'm really rooting for you to find a way to be peaceful with food that makes you feel good. Who am I kidding? I want all of us to find that way - I know I certainly haven't!
Big hugs and sorry for long post, but it's been a while!
Joodle xx
Hello, hello, and please forgive me my absence. I will explain all but for now I just want to say that I got sucked in to catching up on your diary - unintentionally really as I just meant to have a quick skim read but once I started it was so compelling and I needed to go back and follow your route to the tummy op and beyond.
While I was reading (took about 3 days to catch up!), I went through every conceivable emotion! Nothing that hasn't been mentioned but just being massively impressed by your courage and tenacity, by your manically busy life and how much you give of yourself to other people. I was rooting for you through all the dieting ups and downs too - was glad you went for the op as you clearly had thought it through and wanted it, and then totally relate to your ups and downs with the binging, desperately wanting to be able to do something to help but we all know, it's down to us really. There's some mad switch in our heads and we just need to be able to control it.
Most of all I'm impressed that you have kept posting. And you really are doing incredibly well, despite the ups and downs. I'm glad you're getting support through OA as while reading, I was really hoping you would get some counselling or support from somewhere - the worst thing isn't the binging, it's that it makes you feel crappy afterwards.
I have to say, I feel that reading your journey over several months has maybe given me a bit of an overview. I mean, at first you were definitely in a binge/be strict cycle, which didn't seem very productive. You'd binge, then come here and confess, get told it was ok, be good for a few days then binge again. The latter posts however seem to show that you've had a bit more control - not always but you've definitely been able to put a halt to things before they got too bad and I don't think you should underestimate how hugely important that is. Sorry if I'm making observations here that aren't accurate as I know I've been totally AWOL and probably don't get the half of it but honestly, reading your diary has been so emotional - I really do feel like we're all in it with you!
Totally love hearing about what you're learning through OA too - please keep us up to date with what you learn. I just can't put into words how much I respect you and how much strength I'm wishing you through this. You've done so very well, I'm really rooting for you to find a way to be peaceful with food that makes you feel good. Who am I kidding? I want all of us to find that way - I know I certainly haven't!
Big hugs and sorry for long post, but it's been a while!
Joodle xx
