Total Solution The Journey, Allowed back on exante!! :D

[tubbynomore]

sometimes when I'm feeling not so good about the diet and wondering if i can really do this (I have really bad confidence and anxiety issues) I looke at my diary and see how well I'm doing and it gives me a little spur on!

I agree with you there Kizzle, I know I rabbit on in my diary but that's me! I wear my heart on my sleeve and what you see is what you get (albeit a bit too much to see lol) warts 'n all

You're doing really well, and I enjoy reading yours and other peeps diaries. You could call me a diary stalker :giggle: but it does give me inspiration and company! Knowing I am not alone in this and there are others who have been through it helps.

Ali xx

 

[kizzle]

well day 4 today and time seems to be going really slowly! I want it be Wi day already so I can officially update stuff! quiet day planned today. Buying some more packs today as money will be tighter later in the month so need to get them now Think I'll get the shakes and bar bumper pack!

 

[kizzle]

I agree with you there Kizzle, I know I rabbit on in my diary but that's me! I wear my heart on my sleeve and what you see is what you get (albeit a bit too much to see lol) warts 'n all

You're doing really well, and I enjoy reading yours and other peeps diaries. You could call me a diary stalker :giggle: but it does give me inspiration and company! Knowing I am not alone in this and there are others who have been through it helps.

Ali xx

Yeah exactly, I'm a bit of a diary stalker too! I may not always comment as I always think people will think my comments are stupid! haha! but doesn't mean I haven't read them. I think exante is such a personal journey even more so than other diets as it takes real commitment, and it can open all sorts of emotions, but I think it's easier with Mr. Kizzle doing it too. I couldnt imagine cooking dinner everynight for him. I KNOW I would of slipped up by now.

 

[marley&me]

Hi Kizzle, you are doing great. I am really keen to get more shakes and bars too. You are definitely best to avoid cooking for others! I am cooking for the family each day and then chugging a shake! lol!

 

[Want2BeSlim]

I agree about the diary thing, I think it can really keep you going and help you through the tough times when it all seems a bit much. I created mine to keep my exante journey logged so I can always look back at stuff and see how I've been getting on if something goes wrong or I fall off the wagon. I ramble a bit too, I don't expect anyone to read it but it's nice when people come over and say hi and reply to my posts, it means a lot. Sometimes when I ramble I wouldn't blame someone if they were unsure how to reply lol.

I also wanted to say I totally understand how you feel kizzle with regards to the confidence and anxiety issues, I have suffered from both really badly for nearly 12 years now. Hugs to you :bighug:

Think I'll get the shakes and bar bumper pack!

I think I might go with this bumper pack too next time

Love reading your diary and think you are doing really great. Keep up the awesome work!

 

[kizzle]

Thank you my lovelies! well on day 5 now and sorry for not updating for the last couple of days! It's been mad busy here! vI'm loving this diet and every day i feel stronger and more determined! lets hope it pays off.


Some great news on the job front I got an interview! and the wages are good too! So gonna cross everything!!

 

[tubbynomore]

Hi Kizzle glad you continue to do well. Fab news about the job, good luck and hope you get it :fingerscrossed: xx

 

[Timetoslim]

Just seen your diary for the first time Kizzle ... you are doing great x hope that you have an amazing weigh in this week and that mr kizzle does good too xx

 

[kizzle]

Morning my lovelies,

On saturday I ordered, a shakes and bars pack and the 3 water flavourings, they arrived this morning. well something arrived this morning. Intead of the shakes and bars pack I ended being delivered 2 mixed bumper pack and my water flavourings. :S so me and Mr. kizzle have a month supply each rather than 2 weeks supply each but not in the flavours that we wanted.

Most people would be chuffed they got double what they ordered but not me, I feel really guilty! but dont want t o have to go trhough the drama of sending it bk.

 

[kizzle]

Ok so today I get to try a bar and a choc shake as they are the only flavours I havent tried. Just tucked into my bar and OMG how big are they? haha! like a mega chunky bar! i'll only be having the fruit and nut as Mr. Kizzle doesn't like rasins so he gets the choc orange which works out great as I hate orange and mint flavoured chocolate things!

Plus I just tried the water flavourings and think Mr K may have made it a bit weak and does taste a little like asprin and squash but I like it (generally cos I'm a weirdo! haha)

WI day 2 moro :bliss: have a great day all!

 

[tubbynomore]

Ok so today I get to try a bar and a choc shake as they are the only flavours I havent tried. Just tucked into my bar and OMG how big are they? haha! like a mega chunky bar! i'll only be having the fruit and nut as Mr. Kizzle doesn't like rasins so he gets the choc orange which works out great as I hate orange and mint flavoured chocolate things!

Plus I just tried the water flavourings and think Mr K may have made it a bit weak and does taste a little like asprin and squash but I like it (generally cos I'm a weirdo! haha)

WI day 2 moro :bliss: have a great day all!

Hi Kizzle glad to see you are staying with it, and with another month's supply, well done.
I usually have half a bar as a meal either breakfast or lunch then I keep the other half for TV/evening munchies, just an idea, it helps me xx

 

[kizzle]

Ok ladies need to have a little bot of a moan.

I'm normally a size 22 and I have a job interview tomorrow and desperatly needed a new interview outfit as i ate my way out of my old work clothes and I havent worked in a year. I'm desperate to get a job as me and Mr K have been surviving barely on his wages for the last year as I have been signed off sick. The first job I have applied for I have got an interview for so I'm really nervous as haven't had an interview in the last 3 years. So I popped out ot sainsburys to get a new outfit with the last bit of our money until the benefits come in. So i picked a really pretty purple jumper with a shirt underneath and a gorgeous pair of black and grey tweed trouser to get home to find the trouser are a bit tight.

Now I'm panicing as thats the biggest size saisnburys do and I feel uncormfortable in them and just worried about tomorrow. I know I'm being silly. You cant tell the trousers are too tight but I can feel it. they will fit me perfectly in a week's time, I'm just having a flap I guess. Plus it's WI tomorrow and Mr K has a job interview too. I guess I just feel over whelmed.

I really need this job.

 

[kizzle]

Well ladies, got my Wi result and its -12lb this week

 

[tubbynomore]

12lbs fantastic Good luck with the job interview Kizzle xx

 

[Alex_1978]

Wow, well done - that's a great start

 

[Irishlass]

Fantastic. Well done

 

[zazu]

Well ladies, got my Wi result and its -12lb this week

Congrats

 

[kizzle]

Well I need to have a mega moan, But I don't want anyone to think I'm a bad person. Me and Mr K have been trying for a baby for 4 years. We can't concieve because I don't get periods due to my weight and health conditons.

I found out last night my cousin is pregnant and I'm devastated.

I found out 3 weeks ago my 18yr nicece was pregnant and I'm devastated.

I'm infertile and at the moment I'm watching alot of the women in my life fall pregnant, and I'm finding it really hard. I just don't get why do they deserve it more than me? I understand that I'm over weight and have PCOS and endemitriosis. But why are they allowed it and I'm not? Both of them have no clue about pregnancy or looking after children yet they can concieve and I can't? How on earth is that fair? How is it fair that one pregnancy was an accident who's father isn't even interested and the other tried for one month who's husband is in the RAF and is a cheat! How come everyone else in this world deserves a baby and I don't?

And my mum is piling on the heat for me to have children and now she will be gutted as my cousin is pregnant first. she knows I can't have children but the undertone in her voice is that it's like I'm doing something wrong in the effort to get pregnant.

Every where I go people are pregnant or having babies and it's just breaking my heart. I don't go on facebook anymore as can't stand to hear about people being pregnant and pictures of children and babies because I'm so jealous.

Makes me feel like a really bad person feeling comtempt for people because they can have children and I can't.

 

[*lil*]

Well I need to have a mega moan, But I don't want anyone to think I'm a bad person. Me and Mr K have been trying for a baby for 4 years. We can't concieve because I don't get periods due to my weight and health conditons.

I found out last night my cousin is pregnant and I'm devastated.

I found out 3 weeks ago my 18yr nicece was pregnant and I'm devastated.

I'm infertile and at the moment I'm watching alot of the women in my life fall pregnant, and I'm finding it really hard. I just don't get why do they deserve it more than me? I understand that I'm over weight and have PCOS and endemitriosis. But why are they allowed it and I'm not? Both of them have no clue about pregnancy or looking after children yet they can concieve and I can't? How on earth is that fair? How is it fair that one pregnancy was an accident who's father isn't even interested and the other tried for one month who's husband is in the RAF and is a cheat! How come everyone else in this world deserves a baby and I don't?

And my mum is piling on the heat for me to have children and now she will be gutted as my cousin is pregnant first. she knows I can't have children but the undertone in her voice is that it's like I'm doing something wrong in the effort to get pregnant.

Every where I go people are pregnant or having babies and it's just breaking my heart. I don't go on facebook anymore as can't stand to hear about people being pregnant and pictures of children and babies because I'm so jealous.

Makes me feel like a really bad person feeling comtempt for people because they can have children and I can't.

It doesn't make you a bad person to have these feelings, it makes you human! Everything you've said I have said or thought myself!
Although people can relate to you, unless they are in a similar position I don't think they can feel that gut wrenching pain you feel when you see anything remotely baby related!
Don't get me started on Facebook! All my friends are moaning about having no sleep or no social life or trying to palm their kids off and I have to resist posting a full on rant complete with swear words lol
I've worked in a bank for the last 5 years, in that time I got married, well I think everyday for the last 4 years someone has asked if I'm having a baby yet! - between me and you I want to poke them in the eye, but that's not good customer service!!
I can't offer any advice about your mum, are you close enough to her to explain how she makes you feel?
Xxxxx

 

[kizzle]

It doesn't make you a bad person to have these feelings, it makes you human! Everything you've said I have said or thought myself!
Although people can relate to you, unless they are in a similar position I don't think they can feel that gut wrenching pain you feel when you see anything remotely baby related!
Don't get me started on Facebook! All my friends are moaning about having no sleep or no social life or trying to palm their kids off and I have to resist posting a full on rant complete with swear words lol
- between me and you I want to poke them in the eye, but that's not good customer service!!
I can't offer any advice about your mum, are you close enough to her to explain how she makes you feel?
Xxxxx

I have spoken to her about it, and she knows how I feel.

She always says to me "well I was told I couldnt concieve but i had you after trying for 6 months and fell pregnnat between you and your brother and misscarried" and i try to explain to her that she had a back tilted uterus and that she still ovulated so every month for her there was a chance she could of got pregnant, whereas with me there is more chance of me getting hit by bus (touch wood! lol) than falling pregnant and that she only had to wait 6 months and I've been waiting 4 years.

She really doesn't get he fact that I have waited 8 times longer than her with no avail.

Mr K isn't really very supportive either, he comes out with the classic line that all my "fertile" friends come out with which is "It will happen, You will get your turn" and I want to scream in his face that I understand but he could go out and get anyone pregnant tomorrow and it's hard feeling all the blame is on me because he, for all his faults, would make a fantastic dad.

I wouldn't want to have a baby at 20 stone I do want to be healthy and have a healthy pregnancy, and give my baby the best start but jesus I crave one right now. I think it's to do with the fact that I can't and would be scared that I never will. If I could fall pregnant ion the morning I probably wouldn't want to!

Me and Mr K may not have the financial backing but my family do, but material items isn't even really important, that child would not be loved more by anyone than by me.

Sorry for the massive rants. but everyone I know is fertile and i just find it hard and have noone really who may have had difficulty with concieve who understands how much it really is affecting me and how I feel.

everyday for the last 4 years someone has asked if I'm having a baby yet!

Me and Mr K arent married yet and all i get is that along with when are you 2 gonna get married.