the shame of being me

[Racheldublin]

Hi Cherry,

My name is Rachel and I am 23 and also from Ireland... Living in Dublin!

I have read all your posts on this thread an firstly want to congratulate you on your ethic, you have tried really hard and put alot of hard work in and well done for that!

Your story has touched me and I feel I want to give you a big hug. just from reading your posts I can tell you are a beautiful person and you have been through alot which again stands to how strong you are inside!

I myself have a strong relationship with food and have tried many shake and soup diets before and failed. I now follow ww And being able to eat in moderation and exercise makes me feel in control and energised.

It's a journey of self discovery and it is important that you do this for you so you are healthy. It's not about what other people think of you f**k them if they have not got nice things to say! In this process there is one persons opinion that counts and that is YOURS only!

It seems clear to me that the plan u are following is causing you some distress and I would urge you to rethink your needs. Maybe a plan with a support group u can visit, a controllable food and drink allowance which will give u healthy sustainable weight loss may be better rather than an option which may be directed to loose weight in bulk very fast.

I started my journey at 16.2 stone. I'm now 14.5 and goal is about 11 stone. I've alot to go but that doesn't matter because every day I work at it is a day I will never weigh as much as the one before!

Don't beat urself up girl, ur more than able And everyone here is behind u!

Xxxxxxxx x

 

[cherrygem]

hi guys

thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, thanks for your kind words and hugs. i've decided to take today and decide what diet to do. i know its not lipotrim's fault i have such a hard time starting, even if there was a diet where i could eat mars bars three times a day i still wouldnt stick to it. i think i'm afraid of losing weight, i'm afraid it wont make my life better. i've ALWAYS been the fat one in the family i've never been taken seriously because i'm fat because i cant control what goes into my body then how could i possibly be trusted with anything important. i'm afraid to lose weight in case it turns out to be too easy and i'll feel so guilty for not doing it before my Dad died. i'm afraid to lose weight in case it messes up my relationship, what is my boyfriend gets insecure again (even though me being fat makes our relatonship strained because hate myself soo much), what if guys start touching me up like its their right just because i'm slim with big boobs, i want to look in the mirrror and be proud of myself, i want to go anywhere i want and not be anxious because of my weight, i want to be a success, i want my life to stop being a sob story. i use to be fun confident and outgoing and so proud of my body. i've done ww and stop after a week, i've spent e1000 joning educogym and went for two weeks, i've tried loads of diets and i mess them up and feel relief when i've failed. i thought with lt i could stick to it for a week and see such a loss and dfference that i would stick to it for the second week etc etc but i cant get myself to start properly. has this ever happened anyone else or am i messed up n the head?

 

[Deezer]

Hunni do you think therapy rather than counselling! I have had some cbt that i found really helpfull!!

Really hoping your ok!!

Hugs!!! x

 

[Deezer]

in counselling but my counsellor dont even know wat to say to me! what made u make the final leap to do this diet properly???

My reality check was my health!!!! This holiday i am on is my 30th!!! Its not freaked me out as such but made me think...

I have heart problems and diabetes on each side of my family.... however my blood pressure has always been ok! (No idea how!!) I just feel like a ticking bomb!!!

I do want to be slim to wear nice clothes and be proud of what i see but more so i don't want to become ill!!! Its scares me to death!!!!

This is what prompted me to get this weight off once and for all!!!

 

[cherrygem]

happy bday deezer, your so good to reply to me even though your on holiday. cbt like hypnosis?

 

[Deezer]

happy bday deezer, your so good to reply to me even though your on holiday. cbt like hypnosis?

Its Cognitive behavioural therapy....

Its helps you to train yourself to think in a different way!!! To break out of your negative cycle of thoughts and to change your actions.... to be more postive!

Its brilliant!!!! It really makes a lot of sense!!! xxx

 

[cherrygem]

so its a weekly thng? i've been recommended someone in dublin who does one off hypnosis for self esteem and weight loss for e250 and he gives cds too that you've to listen to everyday

 

[mert]

i'm 40 yrs old and have been yo yo dieting for years, i have to small children and gained weight carrying both, i quit smoking and gained wait because i replaced cigs with food, i need an operation after my second son's c section left me with a hernia, I dont go swimming because of what i look like, i shy off doing certain things with my children because of my weight, i have been in slimming world since april and have lost the total of 3lb, why because i constantly cheat, always looking for food that doedn'tt even satisfy me when i've had it. so i thought enough is enough it cant be any harder than what im doing to myself already. so i started yesterday, the shakes and soup are not the best and the thought of drinking all that water gave me a sinking feeling, but you no what i did it, i didnt feel hungry i didn't look for food and i even cooked a lovely sausage dinner for my family without flinching i didn't even try and pinch a bit i just didnt want it, its not a case of what can i have its acase of you cant have anything, it takes away the choices, you can do it, it will be worth it alot of people are doing a stone in 2-3 weeks its got to be worht it

 

[cherrygem]

yeah thats why i thought lt would be best because its fast and theres no choice food wise

 

[Deezer]

I've not tried it hun but its worth a try I bet babe x

 

[cherrygem]

ok so maybe i just need to start lt tommorrow and not over think it! i've my first zumba class tomorrow night and my first laser hair removal so maybe that'll keep me positive, i paid for the laser hair removal thinking it would be a great non food treat on lt!

 

[cherrygem]

ok so i spent the last hour doing up two worksheets for my lt journey, its a weekly plan containing headings DATE (weekly wednesdays), AIM (aim in pounds for each week ), REALITY (seven boxes so i can tick off a day every night) EXCERISE (contains three boxes ZUMBA GYM, WALK, zumba is once a week and i've given GYM and WALK seven boxes each so i can tick off what i do) and WEIGHT so i can i record what i weigh at the end of each week. i'm starting tommorrow 14th Sept and i've a work sheet done up until 16th november, my first sheet ends on the 12th oct (thought if i broke it down it wont look so scary and long)also my Dad's months mind is on the 16th of Oct so thats my mini goal. Dad always wanted me healthy so fingers crossed!x

 

[Deezer]

Maybe leave off the amount you want to lose hun.... as some weeks are bigger than others.... keep it all positive!!! Set mini goals rather than a set amount of weight every week!! Just to keep you motivated!!! You CAN do this hun!!! xxx

 

[cherrygem]

deezer u are a genius!x

 

[willowfire365]

I agree with Deezer about leaving off the amount as it really does change each week! Keep going though hun and i know it sounds stupid but have one night a week to pamper yourself! I'm 25 and as you've seen in my diary i've still got some to go but the first time i did the diet i painted my nails a lot so it gave me something to do and yet again i'm sitting here letting my nails dry! I'd say do a movie/tv night once a week and really just relax as it will help! You really CAN do this and it will make the world of difference to your life!

Keep positive and keep in touch on here and let us know how your getting on

Tc XxX

 

[cherrygem]

:gen147:
everyone on here is SOO AMAZING love :girlpower:ye all for being so supportive:gen126:
thanks for getting me back on track:copon:

 

[WeeDee]

Good Luck!

 

[dudley]

The very best of luck to you

1st weigh in -13st 1lb
week 1 -12st 4lb 11lbs lost
week 2 - 11st 13lbs 5lbs lost
week 3 - 11st 9lb 4lbs lost
week 4

 

[5stonetolose]

hi hun, just read your posts. your really beating yourself up over this diet. just relax and dont stress yourself over it. take one day at a time and deal with that day. before you know it youll have your first weigh in. BBBUUUUUUTTTTT, if its not for you in the end, find something you think might be suitable.

i know what you mean about no choice of food because there isnt any, thats the best part, and it really is hard not to cheat on other diets because they are not all or nothing.

just keep going hun. you can do. trust me its a great feeling.

kerryxxx

 

[Racheldublin]

:gen147:
everyone on here is SOO AMAZING love :girlpower:ye all for being so supportive:gen126:
thanks for getting me back on track:copon:

Soooo delighted to hear ur plan hun well done u!

I weigh in on Wednesday too so we can update eachother,

I agree about spoiling yourself one night a week.. It will make u feel better about u...

Everyone is behind u And remember we all have bad days... If it happens to you.. Draw a line under it and move on ! Just make sure a bad day is never a bad week etc... We are all only human and I know your going to do a fantastic job xxxx