This is me...my incredible journey

[weebles]

Well, I am back - no lottery win As you all say on here; Onwards and upwards, there will be other lotteries. So I folded the little umbrellas and put them away until the next time. DRATS!!

Week 9
Day 5

Breakfast - peanutcrunch bar
Lunch - pie
Dinner - chili and porridge biscuit

Tried the marigold - not bad at all! Couldn't have it daily, yet But did make a nice change.

Next weeks foodpacks? Gonna stick with the tried and tested chili and oatmeals for my dinner. I really do like them. Not overly fussed with the soups at this point.

Walked home from work, did some housecleaning, and a mini walk around the block. Some light theraband workout later then into the tub.

Twas another boring day at work - not busy at all and thus made a LONG day. This is the calm before the storm I feel and next week should be propr H - E - double hockey sticks.
maybe this is why I am in a mood? Need to explore this soon as I truly dislike this feeling.

Time to go now, get this exercise done and guzzle the last bit of water.

Take care my lovelies.
xx

 

[LadyT]

You are doing so well chick. I love reding your diary it makes me chuckle! xx

 

[MagdaX]

Hey gorgeous!
Just a quick one as I'm out and about this weekend. Will fully catch up with your diary soon but I hope all is well with you my love xxx

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[weebles]

Darn...forgot to post yesterday Been a tad busy here in a sense; been doing some inner searching as to why I stress eat/not eat (I go from one extreme to the other) and I cracked this egg!
Now to figure out how to get over it and move on. It is a deep one so i suppose this takes time?? not sure


On with the show.
yesterday
Week 9
Day 6

Breakfast - peanutcrunch bar
Lunch - vanilla shake
Dinner - 2 packages of the oatmeal

Dont ask me why I doubled the oatmeal - just wanted to I guess.
Water intake - poor and as a result: HEADACHE almost all day. Lesson learned.

Today is now Saturday and it is weigh in. Afterwards we have a birthday party to attend but am not gonna stay long. Last year we had a difficult time celebrating this birthday as my mother-in-law was in hospital and had days left to live...None of us were in the mood for any parties. So this year we are making up for it.
Funny thing, I still don't feel like celebrating - still got my funk on from this week.
That lottery win WOULD have made me happy so i am blaming my ticket now for this mood
Best go and get dressed and haul butt into town.
BTW, any of you out there where or have worn, or KNOW someone who wears FCUK jeans? I am looking at a pair on Ebay and want to know how they fit (low rise? med rise?) Since I have no butt or hips...I was told these jeans are for me.

Luck to all today!!

xx

 

[LadyT]

Hey lovely missed you yesterday!!

You inspired me to buy a lottery ticket and if when I check it I haven't won I am totally blaming you lol just kidding

Good luck at your WI, hope it's a biggee for you.

I dint know about jeans, I kinda hate paying a lot for mine, funny the kids always cost a fortune. I wear dotty p's they fit fine, I have a big bum lol and only cost a tenner in the sale recently lol I have heard river island have the best fitting jeans but I know they are about fifty quid or so you would get them cheaper online obviously.
Good luck in your Jean quest, I am after a maxi dress but too many to choose from at the minute also waiting for the sales ha ha xx

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[weebles]

Okay...not gonna beat around the bush. LOST 4 friggen POUNDS!!

Can almost see hitting 12 stone....something....NEXT WEEK!

At the meeting we are going into yet ANOTHER area of discovery and i felt like crying. Haven't wrapped my head around my discovery last week and now another one? CRAP!!! My poor wee head will be spinning. I just despise reality some days/weeks/months/years.
But, if this is gonna help then so be it - right? I feel the tears coming and just not ready to let them flow just yet.

Got back from the birthday party and am a tad tanned. I don't burn, I tan instead. Got some compliments on my weight while there and I didn't cheat ONCE. Brought some water with me and had my bar. Once the BBQ came out - we left. That smell drives me insane. It is a Pavlov's bell for me, honest.

Gonna go back outside and catch some more rays while I can.

Take care my lovelies!!

xx

 

[Gembritney]

Well done great loss weebles!!!! x

 

[LadyT]

Well done chick both on your loss and your determination not to indulge in the BBQ mmmm the thought xx

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[Clarabow]

Oh well done that woman, result on the weight loss and will power. Go girl !

Are you journalling your insights off here? They will be invaluable if you haven't the head space at the moment to fully get into them. Just a thought.

Enjoy the sun <--- ex goth with an allergy to light lol Love the summer evenings though.

 

[MagdaX]

Woooo fcuking hoooooo!!!
Well done you!


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[weebles]

Thanks Ladies for the kind compliments. When I worked out the weight conversion yesterday I was beaming ear to ear afterwards and why? Well, when I came over here I weighed in at 283lbs (that is 20st something), in fact on the plane ride...I needed the extension belt to fasten up! I did shed some weight in time then and, as usual, I gained
As you know...I started a regime (not LL) last year in June and lost 4 stone and after the weigh in yesterday it is official...since june of last year, I have lost 6st 1 pound but what is even better is........100lbs lost since I initially came over! OMG, unbelievable!!
Never had I been that heavy in all my life, nor have I lost weight this quickly before doing LL. My head hasn't caught up with my body.
Thank you LL. This program has given me so much insight as well as motivation to keep going.

I really should put down my feelings on here, you are right Clarabow. I do shed some light on my thoughts etc...but I always feel as if I am a burdon. This is one area I also need to tackle - feeling of being unimportant. Good GRIEF!! How on earth have I managed this far in life?? All my flaws being exposed?!? eek!
I do so well bundling them all up and putting on a facade. I slowly feathered through issues before, then swept them under the carpet to deal with later...guess NOW is later? UGH.
Again, need to do some more Magellan work and explore.

So yesterdays menu for:
WEEK 9
Day 7

Breakfast - peanutcrunch bar
Lunch - banana shake
Dinner - double helping of porridge

Did a walk for about an hour yesterday afternoon. Water intake was a mere 2 litres Basically I just enjoyed the sun and took it easy. Last night I did up all the sheets and laundry (not much to do) and then hung them out on the line this morning. Just LOVE a fresh bed to climb into at night.
Had my bath and then called it a night.
xx

 

[weebles]

hehehe just HAFTA do this

WEEK 10
DAY 1

Looks impressive, eh?
BTW, i tried on the size 12 trousers this morning? THEY FIT!!! They are zipped up with no aid of laying on the bed!
That black dress? Ummm...need to get rid of the chest shelving units as I can't get it over my dang boobs!! It is a slip over dress - so here is hoping that next month this will doable.

Take care my lovelies, off to lay flowers today for O/H's Mum. Been a year today

 

[HannahNewton]

Wowee Weebles!! You are a member of the century club, you can have a badge too!!

Amazing lady - and yes carry on making the changes and shedding all of your old stuff. You never need to go back there again.

Lots more to say but have to get ready to go now!! xx

 

[Clarabow]

Wotcha Weebs,

Firstly WOWEEEE, congratulations on your weight loss. Go girl, as you said just need the head to catch up now.

Secondly writting about our insights and our dark thoughts is not a burden. No bugger on here ( excuse the french) has to read them or comment on them. It is their choice. It's very cathartic to write things down, it makes it real somehow and holds a mirror up so we can see our distorted thinking.

When I was on some training a good while back I learnt a very valuable insight about not being aburden or allowing others to see I needed support. If you dont nurture yourself and see to your own needs, then you will not be well enough or strong enough in the long term to meet those of others.

I'm still not great at this, in fact often I suck really badly and go into hermit mode and wait till the black cloud passes. Then I am able to put the face on get back out in the world. I think it helps others know we are not invulnerable and that we are not perfect and we struggle also.

So write away ....

Onwards and downwards xx

 

[LadyT]

Omg you are totally amaZing and such an inspiration particularly to the new members as we all know how rough this journey is in the beginning!!

Size 12 woop woop, get in hunny!!

I actually love reading your diary and agree that you should off load on here because what you are feeling and thinking is generally what others are too and if we are all In it together it's easier.

It's very true we have to look after is first to even contemplate supporting others.

Get that century badge on your profile you so deserve it gorgeous

Have a fab day remembering all your happy memories together, big hugs to you gorgeous lady xxxxxxx

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[MagdaX]

And you wanted to buy my size 16 clothes?! Phhhlllleeeeaaaaassseeeee!
You are freaking amazing and I am so overwhelmingly proud of you! That's a huge achievement and you should be shouting about it from a roof top!
I have a little suspicion why you might be feeling you're being a burden and I understand it can be hard to accept things have changed now.
Learning to love yourself and put yourself first is the hardest thing to do. I know from experience but in order to change things in life (which you are doing and then some!) we HAVE to start thinking of us!
No, you are not a burden! And even if someone thought you were ( which i highly doubt), so what?! Screw them! They don't have to read this or be a part of your journey.
Majority of us however will continue learning from you and get inspired by your amazing strength and positivity!
Please let us help each other during this amazing transformation (inside and out) and discover great things and lightbulb moments together.
We are all here for you chicken!

 

[Clarabow]

Well said Magda x quite agree

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[slendablenda]

Well done Weebly xx

 

[Gembritney]

wow u are an inspiration to us all xxxxxx

 

[weebles]

Good Morning Ladies

I read the posts, digested them and you are all right. Btw, thanks for the wonderful compliments - I feel I am not worthy of a badge for losing 100lbs at this point. Why? Cause it wasn't all down to LL and I look at others who claim the badge and they did it on LL. So I feel i would be cheating.
LL has given me the tools on confidence to carry on and that DANG insight on why I sabbotage my life, why I had previously chosen the foods that soothed the wounded soul.
AND...excuse me Ladies? Look at all of you!!! All of you have done amazingly well and are continuing to do so. You are all another reason I come on here - you inspire me as well.

This wee community has been a lifesaver for me. I have come a long way since joining LL and I swear that had I not found LL AND this community, I would have failed and been back to old habbits.

Feelings now? I am scared. In unfamiliar territory so to speak.
Again, I have been thin (8st something) before and was considered to be a b**ch by my peers. I honestly wasn't - same old warped sense of humour who would laugh and sing in the hallways while doing my job (a nurse). Got reported many times for being: too happy. Can you believe it? I didn't fit in to their little world, obviously.
My stress release for that time was running and working out and I ate very little....thinking back then my daily intake would have been less than 500cal. I just couldn't eat - it was a control thing for me at the time.
I have done this all my life btw. Control food in times of sorrow, stress (extreme) anything that depressed me. I have seen myself not eat for weeks and only survive on coffee and cigarettes. This holds no boundaries to whether I am thin or not. It has been something I do/done since i was 4yrs old.

Started to add more to this...but erased it. sorry.

Need to think carefully on how to word it.

FYI - when I do post my tales of woe? Remember....you asked for it!! LOL

I can't thank you all enough for just being here.

xx