Toddler help - swearing & bath time..

[Glasgow girl62]

My sons hated getting their hair washed .......... Until I got them swimming goggles to wear in the bath !!
Great fun and no tears ever
I've given this tip to loads of friends over the years and it's worked every time
Fx

 

[kerry b]

My son is 3 and he has gone through both of these issues. For the swearing we told him it was naughty, made no difference, ignored him, he just used it even more. In the end I refused to spend time playing with him as " I don't like playing with children who use naughty words, it makes me very sad". Took about a week of this before he stopped.

For the bath, he was exactly the same as your son. One night I had to pull him out kicking and screaming after 30 mins next night I couldnt get him in the bath at all, no reason I could find. Took a while but in the end I let him get into the empty bath with his clothes onand play with his cars. After a couple of times doing this I turned the tap on very gently while he was playing and let him play with the water and "puddle jump" . Next step was removing clothes, then putting plug in, then a bath. He had to wash himself and wash his own hair by lying back in the bath. Frankly whatever worked suited me. We are now back to 30 min baths. While he was refusing to get in I just used a wash cloth to clean him. It took me nearly a month to achieve this but perseverence paid off eventually.

Is your daughter old enough to go in a big bath? You could get him to help you bath her "could you be a clever big boy and hold onto your sister while Mummy washes her tummy" sort of thing.

Good luck x

 

[AnnaFaraday]

I agree with what other people here have said about the language. Children who are not brought up to speak and communicate properly will be at a terrible disadvantage throughout their education and in later life.

 

[big bear]

Just to say thanks to all your replies.

We ignored the swearing at the weekend & yesterday I think he maybe said it twice all day but then he's with the in laws today so I'll see this evening.

As for the bath I put his baby sister (9 mths old) into the bath yesterday evening & asked him if he wanted to help & he did. I gently persuaded him to get in beside her & hold her etc. I didn't make loads of fuss just washed the baby & let him just play/splash. I then just took them out & got them dried.

I've not said anything more to him about the bath as thought best not to make a big issue out of it but at least this is progress.

Thanks again, you're all so great XX

 

[Bubbles1984]

I use a reward chart in this house for my daughter. If she gets 10 hearts on the chart she gets to pick a treat (like a magazine or a small toy). So if she does something like swears, tantrums etc..she loses one. It worked wonders for us! (thats also how we cracked potty training!) shes just turned 3 also.

xxx

 

[big bear]

I use a reward chart in this house for my daughter. If she gets 10 hearts on the chart she gets to pick a treat (like a magazine or a small toy). So if she does something like swears, tantrums etc..she loses one. It worked wonders for us! (thats also how we cracked potty training!) shes just turned 3 also.

xxx

Where can I buy these? I reckon it'll work with him on other things like potty training, he's does well when he's with me Thurs-Sun but then I've to work & he goes in-laws & it's back to square 1.

I so wish I had the money to send him to a proper childminder/nursery as in-laws causing so much problems for me.

My 9 mth old is eating food but when she goes there all she gets is bottles.

I've spoken to them about the different issues but it's as if I'm talking to a brick wall.

 

[MadameLaMinx]

We make our own reward charts with just a piece of A4 paper or card and some sticky or stickers of their choice.

BB, perfect way to get him back in the bath!

As for the in-laws - are you sending food with her or just milk? I cant believe they would just leave her without lunch/tea? Thats crazy!!

 

[big bear]

We make our own reward charts with just a piece of A4 paper or card and some sticky or stickers of their choice.

BB, perfect way to get him back in the bath!

As for the in-laws - are you sending food with her or just milk? I cant believe they would just leave her without lunch/tea? Thats crazy!!

Yes I send it with her, it's usually left over dinner. She can eat chicken, fish, spag bol etc now but to them it's easier to just give her a bottle, less mess & effort for them!!!

I manage to give her breakfast & dinner it's just lunch but still I wish they'd listen.

What sort of things can I put on his chart?

I don't want to overload him but I guess I could put on there the swearing, maybe every time he gets in the bath he get's a sticker, also when he puts all his toys away in the evening he could get a sticker!! Am I on the right tracks here?

I do give him loads of praise etc when he does good or draws a picture we stick on the fridge etc. His tantrums have calmed down a lot recently but that was due to jealously over the baby.

Think now is the time to do the chart (he's 3 beginning Dec) but I want to try and sort a few things before he goes to pre-school.

I'm having next week off work so I'm going to see if we can master this potty training...so basically I'll have from Thurs this week to Tues after bank holiday which hopefully will be enough.

I've got 2 little toddler toilets for him and a Thomas the Tank toilet seat, so we'll see how it goes.

Thanks

 

[MadameLaMinx]

BB, you need to tell them that you cant stand for this. Its not even like you are asking them to cook meals for her. Do they have a high chair etc there, bibs etc? In all seriousness, what they are doing is neglectful. Are you in a position to claim help with child care? I dont know what your financial situation is, but you might be able to get some help from child tax credits or via your employer maybe?

 

[now-or-never]

Will be a good idea to see what pre school use to, we have a sun a rainbow and a thunder cloud in our kitchen with his photo underneath they do the same at school. He starts everyday on the sun if he needs a warning he goes on the rainbow and when hes naughty he would go on the thunder cloud. I started it a few weeks before the end of reception when he started backchatting, i thought 6 weeks at home, nans and gran he would end up being spoilt and it would get worse. Hes been on the rainbow once and everyday on the sun. Its been great rainbow has never been such an effective word lol

 

[big bear]

BB, you need to tell them that you cant stand for this. Its not even like you are asking them to cook meals for her. Do they have a high chair etc there, bibs etc? In all seriousness, what they are doing is neglectful. Are you in a position to claim help with child care? I dont know what your financial situation is, but you might be able to get some help from child tax credits or via your employer maybe?

Yeah there's a high chair,bibs, everything.

I don't get anything towards childcare as we're just over the threshold. I've looked into other options but we really can't afford to pay the kind of money they want.

I'm going to have words again but this time with my FIL as he listens, so far I've spoken to MIL & this just made me think she probably never even spoke to him.

I'll get on to this straight away.

Thank you XXX

 

[JackieN]

When my little girl was this age I used to draw her a chart with like a path broken into sections , the start and then a weeny photo or drawing of what she got at the end of it. I found the visual item at the end made her more likely to want to do it! a comic, that kind of thing. Just bought a pack of cheap stickers from wilkos

 

[kerry b]

I can sympathise with the childcare issue. My parents used to look after my son 4 afternoons per week and it drove me mad when they did something we didn't approve of. Mum would listen but talking to dad was like banging my head on a brick wall. It's so frustrating. The swearing is one thing but they cant refuse to feed your daughter, thats just cruel. Would OH be able to have a word seeing as they are his parents? As for the reward chart you can put whatever you want on it. Have a separate row for each thing (1 row for getting in the bath, 1 for using the toilet, 1 for putting toys away etc.) and a small treat when each row is full. Good luck with the potty training

 

[Shirleen]

For the swearing I would give him a full row of stickers/magnets and say if he can keep the whole row for a whole week he gets a treat.

Actually a whole day at first would be best with the treat being something small like a trip to the park with his football, or a bus ride, making cakes/decorating cookies, two bedtime stories instead of one, as he gets older you can have the weekly reward.

 

[fillymum]

Where can I buy these? I reckon it'll work with him on other things like potty training, he's does well when he's with me Thurs-Sun but then I've to work & he goes in-laws & it's back to square 1.

I so wish I had the money to send him to a proper childminder/nursery as in-laws causing so much problems for me.

My 9 mth old is eating food but when she goes there all she gets is bottles.

I've spoken to them about the different issues but it's as if I'm talking to a brick wall.

You know BB I really feel for you on this problem with your in laws. You are in an unenviable position, but you know know the positive is that if you crack the swearing thing by using a chart he could end up teaching them not to swear when he tells them it is bad and mummy has a reward chart for him.

lots of hugs xxxxx

 

[AnnaFaraday]

What about a reward chart for the in-laws???

 

[kerry b]

What about a reward chart for the in-laws???

Love it.

Fillymum could well be right. My 3yr old now tells people not to say shut up or stupid, they are naughty words.

 

[JackieN]

Absolutely drum it into him about swearing allow him to 'tell you off' when/if you swear and he'll soon sort them out too

 

[fillymum]

Some really good stuff here BB.......who knows MIL could be a reformed character


hugsxxxxx

 

[big bear]

Thanks everyone, we've started a rewards chart & so far so good.

Here's hoping he'll kick MIL into touch!!! lol X