Toria's Secret Diary

whoop whoop , what an amazing loss , especially on1200 :) I am very pleased for you that you are able to start SS tomorrow and you should find it easier going down to SS from the 1200 plan than from scratch so heres to a successful start to SS :)
 
Well done Toria, 7lb on 1200 is great :D

You clearly have your head in exactly the right place to do this, so good luck for SS tomorrow

Vicki x

PS Has other half had any comment on the fantastic loss? :)
 
Hi again friends...:)

Well I got through SS day 1 but I was a bit shocked at how hard I found it!

I'd been doing the 1200 plan the previous week and in the last few days of that had cut down on my actual food intake dramatically 'in practice' for sole sourcing. I thought that way it'd be a breeze...oh how wrong I was!! It was really tough..grrr!

I was sort of ok at first and then someone mentioned christmas to me and I suddenly found myself thinking of christmas dinner...I almost had a total panic on, thinking how am I going to cope cooking all that food and just having a shake?

I also had to do the family food shop online yesterday too and found myself picking the various things based on what I fancied eating. Then, like a slap from a wet fish in the face I realised none of that food was going to be coming my way. I got quite low after that point and very very grumpy.:mad:

Then it came to cooking the evening dinner with all the smells etc but I just pushed on, sipping my water every time I had a hunger pang (like every few seconds!!!!). I am proud of myself though for resisting even licking my fingers when they got covered in sauce but it was so hard! I ended up serving dinner to a hungry husband and the boys (19yrs and 12yrs) and I just had to get out of the house.

My poor darling labrador got very confused! He loves mealtimes, it's his favourite time to sit and look adoringly at everyone. I put his lead on and literally had to drag him away from the kitchen, he didn't want to leave and kept looking behind us and sniffing. I was probably doing the same :eek:!

We went out for a long walk which actually really helped, firstly because it's exercise which is all good, and secondly because it gave me a chance to relax and think about things a bit more clearly.

I want this diet to succeed. I absolutely AM going to stick this out!

I woke up today feeling a lot happier, thankfully. Still hungry and I have to contest with the food delivery arriving today and the inevitable evening meal but I'm just going to try and remain strong - if all else fails, I'll just escape with the dog again :D

Here's hoping you all have a good day,

Toria xxx
 
Hello again :)

Well I've been offline for a few days, feeling not very well and generally rather fed up. However today I woke up and felt much much better :wee:

I've managed to stick to my three packs a day, so totally 100% sole sourcing, although it has been really hard.

Friday was tough as I was in the office at work and it's tradition for the boss to buy everyone a hot bacon sarnie for breakfast. I told a bit of a lie and just said I was feeling ill, but I'll probably have to come clean sooner or later. I managed also to avoid the lunchtime chip fest (Fridays at our office are very much celebrated with food and we have a restaurant on site that does fish and chips at the end of the week). I don't really want to tell anybody at my work as there's all the usual comments I'd just like to avoid for now. When the weight has dropped off some more and it's noticeable then I'll 'fess up.

Today is my day 5 of SSing (or day 12 if you include the 1200 plan week) and things are going well, I'm not feeling so hungry and I feel like I can cope a bit better. Got loads of housework done today and cleared the ironing backlog, so I'm feeling pleased to have all that out of the way.

So far my favourites I think are the fruits of the forest shake, the vegetable soup and the chocolate shake made with warm water. I haven't tried the bars yet. I find I'm taking my meals at 12 noon, 6ish (when the others are having their tea) and then the last one as a warm drink before I go to sleep.

I'm still struggling with being around the family at tea time, especially as I've cooked their meal. It is getting easier though, thankfully! I find the preparation actually quite theraputic and enjoy faffing about with garnishes and whatnot. I never made this much of an effort when I was eating it myself though, so don't know what that's about...:confused:

I needed to do something to distract me when they are eating in the evening so I figured it would be the perfect time to slip away with my laptop and write my diary.:D

Two days left to go until my weigh-in on Tuesday evening, am crossing fingers for a nice big fat juicy loss.

Hope you all have a good week!

Toria xxx
 
Hi Toria,

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better.

I know exactly what you mean, we have pig-out Friday at work too, plus cakes for birthdays, bad days in the office etc etc.

I found the easiest way to avoid partaking without upsetting anybody was to say that I had started suffering indigestion every time I ate anything fatty, so did they mind if I passed this time. That way, nobody would try to force the food on me (which I know some would have done if I'd mentioned the D word), and I didn't make them feel bad for offering it in the first place. Once the weight loss started to show, I said that I was losing weight to help with the problem ;)

I think sometimes a little white lie is easier than having to explain yourself and endure all the well meaning, and not so well meaning, but ill-informed comments and opinions.

Well done on sticking so far xx
 
Hi Toria,
Well done on the diet so far. It sounds like you're a strong person. I know exactly what you mean re the work situation. I am currently sitting here sipping my veg soup while my colleagues are tucking into takeaways!!:eek: The smell is torture - chips with salt and vinegar :cry:. However, I'm determined to be really good as I want to see a decent weightloss this week.
Hope you have a good day. :)
 
Well I wasn't going to write my diary tonight as I'm in a big bad mood but then I thought I can't only bounce on here when everything is cheery otherwise it wouldn't be much of a diary!

I started with a great day, no hunger etc etc...all super positive and in a glowing mood. Work was great, exhausting but great. I'm working on a big project that had become a little unstuck but today it all got back on track. I like busy days at work, the time goes quicker.

The time went so quick I only had the time for one meal, porridge, before I found myself on the journey home (I have a two hour drive, each way).

Then the subject of my house move reared it's ugly head - to cut a long story short we are trying to sell our flat and buy a house, everything has been signed and ready to go for about 2 months but our buyer keeps stalling with odd queries or excuses.

It's driving me mad. :mad: Every day the estate agent or lawyer calls saying that contracts will be exchanged 'any day now'. I got carried away and packed up half the house when I first heard that. Two months later and we should have exchanged on Friday just gone ("at the very very latest by Monday..."). Grr. Now my buyer is faffing about again which causes huge problems as the house we want to buy is going to get repossessed tomorrow if it doesn't go through. It was all on schedule for today and then apparently somebody 'forgot' to get her mortgage deed signed so we are waiting for that now.

Ha!. Sorry I just realised that I meant to cut that story short ;), don't get me started.

Anyhow the upshot of it is that I came home, tired and stressed out to the eyeballs and the family had been having a huge lasagne which was left on the side, half of it leftover, just sitting there. Before I knew it, I'd grabbed a teaspoon and shoved two spoonfuls down my neck.:break_diet:

Now logically I know that two teaspoonfuls cannot possibly contain enough calories to wreck the diet, especially as I have only had one sachet today, but I imagine it's going to knock me out of ketosis, bah.

I've put the rest of the lasagne in the fridge and locked myself in the bedroom with a ton of water and this laptop.

Sorry to rant and whinge, nobody else to really turn to. Don't want to burden the family as the house move has got everyone stressed as it is.

Fed up that I couldn't even manage one week of sole sourcing. But perhaps, more than ever, it's made me more determined to carry on and make up for it!!.

Interesting that I never ever would have thought of myself as a person who overate due to stress...just goes to show you, eh?

I feel much better now. I'm only ever in a big moody for a short period of time :D:D:D

Here's hoping you all did better than me today!

Toria xxx
 
Mornin'

Well, despite starting the day with another raging sore throat, I'm actually in a really good mood :D

I've got my weigh-in later today so I'm very excited about that. This has been my first week of sole sourcing versus the 1200 plan from the previous week so it will be interesting to see what I'll lose.

I have decided to view the impending problems over my house move with a "whatever happens, it was meant to be" attitude. I'm going to take a deep breath, relax and try to rise above it all today. I stand to loose a couple of thousand quid (which took ages to save for) if it all goes belly-up but, you never know with all this news about house prices falling - it may be that something better comes along in the future that will make it all worthwhile :fingerscrossed:.

I am going to focus on thinking happy thoughts :character0053:

Toria xxx
 
good luck with weigh in. i too find that the moment i have stress i truggle with this diet. also, i always have days where a few mouthfulls slip in. if this happens drink an extra pint of water (it works) and always ensure that you do not nibble too often.

so proud of you for getting onto ss 100%. its hard but will be worth it for you in the end. good luck this week!
 
Hi Toria. Loving your diary, and your attitude :)
It sounds like you have quiet enough to deal with at the moment adn I know how hard it is not to comfort eat.
I am in the process of splitting with OH after 11 yrs and am still living with him (very stressful) whilst trying to clean, decorate and move into new cottage 50 min drive away and I REALLY want to either pig out or get very drunk :(
I too come and hide in this forum or, when really desperate, take a book and go and have a bath for and hour or too.
Must resist ! Must resist ! :D
Can't wait to hear about your first weigh in. Good luck !
 
Hi Toria, I also just wanted to say good luck for your weigh in today. I hope it goes really well. I have just read your last few diary entries and you are doing so well under the circumstances. I will keep my fingers crossed that everying works out for you.
Take care. :)
 
Evenin'

Thanks for all the messages of support, you guys really make this 'journey' so much more bearable!!

I had my weigh in tonight and am pleased, no wait, overjoyed to report a nice big fat loss of 7lbs :bliss:

Which means I've done 1 stone in two weeks :eek:.

Wooohooooo! You have no idea how pleased I am.

Funny thing is my waist measurement is still exactly the same, so it must've all gone from somewhere else (sadly my boobs no doubt :rolleyes: ).

I expect it will slow down soon but I don't mind at all.

This diet is soooooo much easier than Weight Watchers or Slimming World. Once you get past those first couple of days it's surprising how the hunger pangs almost disappear.

I have slipped slightly by a couple of mouthfuls of food but looking back on why that happened I can honestly say it wasn't down to actual hunger itself. They occurred at times that I was so stressed out over the house move I could have happily dived into a bottle of wine and a curry. I never ever would have thought myself an 'emotional eater'...but one thing this diet has done is shown me my weaknesses. Most importantly though, recognising that as an issue means I'll be much stronger next time (I hope!!!).

Today I had the porridge for breakfast, the butterscotch shake for lunch and I tried out the potato and leek soup this evening for dinner. Not sure on the soup, it seemed very salty but it did have the tiniest bits of chopped leek, so I felt I had something to chew on :).

I hope you've all had a good day!

Toria xxx

PS. I can't find how to thank people for their posts - is there a 'thankyou' button somewhere?
 
Hey well done you! 7 pounds is great! A stone in two weeks yey! You have done so well. Hope your house selling is going ok - we are in the same boat here - on then off then on grrr. currently off, which is annoying!! Seeing as we have found the house of our dreams!

I think you need to post 50 times before you get a thanks button!

Take carex
 
Hi Toria, :wow::0clapper: Congrats on your amazing weightloss!!! You are doing brilliantly.
I didn't like the potato and leek to start with either, but I bought the Cambridge veg flavouring, and I add a teaspoon of that to the soup. Tastes lovely! Or you can add some spices to taste to give it a bit of a kick.:)
Have a good day.
 
Thanks Tess & Cookie for the congrats - I'm so pleased I found this website :D:D:D - I'm not alone!!

Righty, made it through the first day of my second week sole sourcing and all is going well.

I'm amazed as I've had yet another horrible house move stressy day :mad: but I have resisted the urge to chomp :). Yet again we were supposed to exchange contracts by 11am today but a 'glitch' with the buyer's solicitors meant it didn't go through. Again. Grrrrrrrrrrr.

I don't understand how the house buying process can take so long :confused: (and I work for a law firm!). Surely it would be better idea if each party and their solicitor all met up and swapped info and answered the queries in one go. Lock them all in a room and don't let them out until it's done!!! Perhaps I'll put that as an idea to the head of our property team? ;)

Today I had a delicious chocolate shake made with warm water for my midday meal, I've just polished off a vegetable soup and then later I've got myself a bar for a snack. My CDC recommends putting the bars in the fridge and chopping into little pieces, so I might try that tonight.

I didn't drink as much water as I should've done yesterday and I think I'm paying the price today so am going to try some soluable fibre. I didn't get the Cambridge stuff, I got some in the chemist. It's tasteless and you can even mix into water and it just dissolves clear. I'm always nervous following the instructions as you don't know how much is going to be 'too much' for what I want to achieve. I'll cross my fingers and everything else if I have to!! Luckily no long car journeys tomorrow :eek:

I'm hiding in the bedroom again at the moment as they are all eating pasta bolognese (one of my favourites). I am pleased that the cooking of food is getting easier, but I'm still not comfy sitting with them when they are eating. I probably end up salivating more than the dog.

Well...another day down, one step closer to goal!

Take care

Toria xxx
 
hey toria well done on another amazing loss this week :party0049:!! hope week 3 sails by for you, and that you get into your new home soon!!x
 
Phew. Thank goodness today is almost over...or at least I'm finally out of the office:party0011:. It was sheer food-hell today:

I got in early and first thing that hit me was the smell of Friday breakfast bacon sarnies (we have a restaurant in our building), but I resisted - just!.

Then my boss came in (we share the same room) and commenting on the delicious smell decided he'd get himself a sarnie and offered to buy one for me at the same time. I declined on the basis I was 'trying to be good' (I've not told anybody at work about CD). He then tried to tempt me further by declaring it was his birthday and it would be mean of me not to join him:argh:. Again I had to smile through gritted teeth and decline and then ignore him when he came back in munching the thing right in front of me.

Half an hour later someone comes in to wish him a happy birthday, at which point he suddenly remembers that he's brought in sweets and treats for the whole office :eek:. He then puts them all out on the table in front of me, you name it, it was there. Get stuck in, he urges, otherwise they'll just go to waste. I managed to deflect but there were toffees and chocolates and jelly babies....oooh it was tough! Luckily other people kept popping in and taking some, so I think I got away with not having any :cool:.

Then a lady from upstairs came in (she had heard about the sweets) and was chatting to my boss, asking him if he was having a birthday dinner tonight. Mmmm apparently he's having curry. Much debate then followed from said lady and my boss (and a few other people who popped in) about how they could all murder a curry, what their favourite dishes were, etc...gosh it must've gone on for about 1/2 an hour :drool: - I very nearly broke.

Then, to top it all off - one of the blokes announces that he's arranged a special birthday lunch for my boss and it's fish and chip day in the restaurant! :cry: It's like the food world is conspiring against me.

There was no way I could get out of the lunch so I'm afraid I had to tell a bit of a lie :eek:. I went along with my glass of water and if anyone asked, I just said I'd had an upset tummy :sign0137:and daren't eat anything for a few hours! Gross, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else. If I'd said I was on a diet they would have only tried to to persuade me to 'treat myself'.

How I made it through that hour I don't know, there I was surrounded by fish and chips, lasagne, pizza and wine. Everyone loving the food and commenting on how great it tastes. Me slap bang in the middle sipping away on my water, smiling and making conversation.

I figure, if I can manage that today, I can do anything now! Bring on the weekend :D:D:D

Toria xxx
 
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