wow, early June to early July you were on fire
get back to that regime Lou!
purgatory is right, I wouldnt stress as much if I was cheating, but I'm not.
My body has "failed to launch" this past three-four weeks
Only serious exercise can kickstart me, I know this
I cannot take less food on board. Or rather I won't......
yeah i really was wasnt i...i was doing 1200 calsmost days then having 2000+ on a weekend...which is basically what im doing now except in a different way...im having 500 cals one day and 2000 the next...so it averages at around the same amount of cals i was having weekly then, but im not bored as i know on my 500 days that the next day i can eat more and it keeps me going, and i felt so guilty eating rubbish last night that i will be making my 2000 days more healthy. i think that i just needed to switch it..in june (well the end of may) i switched from titting about on sw and ww to cc...i loved it, i read my book and found motivation in doing something completely different. but i started finding that as id lost another stone having 1200 in the week and 2000-2800 on a weekend was too much and i had a few sts and gains....i just couldnt cut back any more on the 1200 so i decided to cut the weekends down, but then with all the birthdays and meals out and hen do, wedding etc i just knew it was unrealistic for me...i couldnt sustain it, i was getting obsessed...what i was eating ruled my every waking moment and even though i wasnt cheating the fact that i was thinking about what i was allowed to eat and not allowed to eat was making me feel like id cheated.
ive been still tracking every food that goes in my mouth even at the wedding i went to, even at the hen do...and i have been over on those occasions but i have reined it in the next day which is why im so up and down this last month, but more or less sts...i needed to find something new to try...i tried exercise in the form of my dvd but as you all know im awaiting a scan to see if i have a hernia so that was put on hold, ive been walking more but its not really helped, so i started considering doing a vlcd of shakes, but i really didnt want to do that as its something that i KNOW will make me miserable, but there had to be a better way surely? then someone mentioned fasting....ill admit i poo-poo'd it at first thinking how ridiculous....but on watching the programme and since doing some reseach on it i do feel this is a good solution for me...im dubious and worried and am really sticking to it cos its new, so well see what the results are.but all i do know is i certainly ate enough to give a 3 pound gain and today (after doing it since sunday and after having a LOT of cals last night) im only a pound up...to me it looks promising. i hope this next month is as successful as june-july......i would almost be at target then.
i KNOW i can do this and its all in my head, my head has been in it but i just lost my way on occasions and im a social person, i love going out, i love having a drink, i love dancing and chatting with my friends and i dont want to give that up...i would be miserable....i needed to find a way around it. and i guess this is the thing that anyone who is struggling has to think about...what is important to you....we all eat cos we love food, but this isnt normally the reason why we go off our diets or plans (yes theres the times we comfort eat but thats just sheer weakness and stupidity and something entirely different),i find its normally because we have been to a social function or a holiday and its sent us off course because our need to enjoy ourself surpasses our need to lose weight...and so it should...but if you can find a way to overcome this obstacle and get around it...perhaps by careful planning or fasting or really cutting back for a few days after a splurge then youll do it, just as i will. i want it all..i want to have my cake (well, alcohol) and still lose weight...and i will, i just have to get to grips with not spiralling or 'getting back on it' and carrying on as if its never happened...i need to make allowances if ive had too much and make up for it. even though ive been in purgatory for the last month ive still been here and wanting to do this i just needed to find a way around my own needs and not end up making myself so miserable because i felt i couldnt enjoy myself.
so there you have it a bit long winded but thats where ive been at...not cheating just not really doing it properly...not being committed. but i am now i know i dont need food...i have survuved a few 500cal days and felt good for it, SO im back...and all you slackers better watch out, im a comin to get ya!!!
lol
