Trying to stay positive

SarahJane<3

SarahJane<3

Member
Just wanted to write about something i always struggle with when i start to try and tackle my weight.

I start to feel crap about myself, for some reason i just find it so hard to be saying on one hand i want to loose weight and on the other hand i am happy with who i am right in this moment. In the periods of my life i'm not on any sort of weight loss plan i find i can be happy with myself and my body but every time i start trying to loose weight again those thoughts come creeping back and it makes me associate losing weight with depressing times, which doesn't bode well for long term weight loss or lifestyle change!

But, i know NEED to be happy about myself to loose weight and im determined to stop myself from thinking this way again, i feel like im getting somewhere this time (maybe :giggle:).

Im determined to keep on feeling like i am pretty and sexy and attractive just as i am right now, even if i stay this weight, lots people love me, my mum and dad and my friends and my boyfriend just as i am, they don't care about my weight one bit (not in terms of appearance anyhow) and love me regardless and they are the people that matter to me. That doesn't mean that i don't care about loosing weight, i do, i want this for me, i want to feel better, eat better, live a healthier life and have more confidence about how i look.

i know im slipping when i start to put things off like treating myself (not with food!!) with things like my hair and nails because ive started to feel like i cant be pretty until ive lost all the weight ive set out to loose so there's no point in these things yet. The same with clothes, i know these some financial sense in not buying a whole new wardrobe when you intend to drastically change your weight but in reality i need some nice clothes and to take care of my appearance to feel like the best me i can be now, this weight isn't going to disappear tomorrow its going to take a while to come off and in the meantime i have a life to live and i want to be happy NOW not just that magical (mythical :p??) day in the future that im finally 'thin'.

So im gonna keep on telling my brain to shut up with its negativity AND ive booked a hair appointment for this Friday - Swishy blonde blow dry here i come :bliss:
 
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That is a very honest and brave post. It sucks, I feel a bit the same as food is really my crutch so whenever I'm dieting I feel negative, grumpy and not my usual happy bubbly self! But I know that isn't a healthy relationship with food which is why I must continue.

One thing that really helps me, as much as I hate doing it, is regular exercise. Those happy, positive endorphins really lift me and also make me feel soo good about myself and my body. I really feel like I can see a huge difference in my shape (whether or not it's in my head or not is another question!), and I feel great about losing weight.

Thanks for sharing with us, it's so refreshing to see people share the highs and lows and makes me personally feel less alone in this journey xxx
 
p.s enjoy the blow dry!! x
 
Thank you =)

I totally get what you mean and it took me a while to work out what was going on. I was a happy bubbly person usually but when i was on a weight loss plan (didnt matter what it was) i was miserable and not just because i wanted to eat stuff and couldn't haha. At one point i had decided id rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable but i know i dont HAVE to be like that, its my own mind im trying to change.

I think your right about exercising, it does make me feel good too and socialising, sometimes i fall into turning down invites because im worried about the food/drink but this affects my mood too i get all 'woe is me i have no life no friends' haha but i can go out and my friends arent even bothered if i dont drink or we dont eat horrifically unhealthy food!

Oooo thanks i will enjoy the blow dry =D and thanks for your lovely reply xxx
 
Perhaps you need to look at taking up a hobby to channel your energy, keep your mind occupied or to challenge yourself?

I have to admit that I am in the same boat you are in and have the Gym to channel my negative feelings into. The sense of accomplishment I get from increasing the size of the stack of weights I lift and the times that I find the cardio circuit I do too easy and have to turn the difficulty up actually helps me to regulate my mood plus it helps with my appearance to make me feel good about myself.

There are always ways of sticking to the plan and minimising the Syns in a night out. What I have found is to be upfront and honest with my friends about my weight losses and my healthy eating plan. Nowadays, if I ever go out with them, it's always somewhere where it is a doodle to stick to the plan (you can apparently go Syn free at Nando's if you do it right and still have a fantastic meal!) :)
 
This sounds so much like me! I used to dress really smartly, colour co-ordinated, matching shoes, bags nails etc. but lately, I've been slobbing out in leggings and long tops. I counted all my lovely WS skirts in my wardrobe today, 16 of them, none of which I am confident wearing at the moment because they are too snug and I worry that people will say eeew, look at her, her clothes are too tight! And lovely tailored jackets too!
I am also not keeping up with dyeing my roots (am very dark haired and white roots are showing) which is not like me at all, I'm normally obsessed with covering them up! haven't worn make-up for about a month and I'm someone who never used to leave the house without mascara!
Not quite sure what's going on with me. I have thoughts that I'm fat so what's the point in trying to look better?
I am losing weight steadily but it doesn't really show yet I don't think. Difficult to be positive when you have a problem with your self confidence and image.
 
All the advice above is good advice, Sarah Jane but, one other thing I'd like to add is, try not to view SW as a diet. Since starting SW my menus for home, have become so much more varied and I've eaten much tastier food than I ever did before. I won't lie and say I don't miss scoffing a load of chocolate or a huge pizza oozing with cheese but, I always remember the consultant at the first group I ever went to (yes, I have done it before, lost 3 stone and stupidly put it back on again!) saying, 'Nothing changes if nothing changes' and she is so right.

I can honestly say, I am very shy, with little self-confidence but the time I lost all that weight, I felt so much more positive about my self-image. I loved going clothes shopping, which I now hate again, and just felt I could, metaphorically speaking, walk taller.

Well done for saying exactly how you feel and pop of here whenever you want a chat. You won't find a friendlier, more informative place to be. Good luck.

Kathy x
 
Hope you start to feel a bit more positive pootle weight loss or no weight loss we deserve to be as groomed and glam as we want. You deserve to be happy and feel attractive no matter what =)

Thanks for all your replies everyone and i agree totally Kathy i try to avoid the word diet completely haha and im trying to make lasting changes to my life that i can keep up and keep myself happy at the same time because i know i dont need to be miserable just because in doing something positive to change my life

Easier said than done sometimes but good to say it non the less haha ;P
 
I too know exactly how you feel SarahJane, I haven't had my nails or hair or anything done for ages now as I just don't feel it's worth it at this size. What I wanted to say was, have you considered using charity shops to get cheap "new" outfits for while your weight is going down? You can find some really good stuff sometimes and all you need to do is wash the clothes when you get them home. I find this is way better than trying to struggle on in clothes that are way too big and baggy, and I intend to buy "proper" new clothes when I finally get back to goal again - and not before! In the meantime, charity shops are the way to go for me.

Hope you like your new do!
 
Power of the new hair

Feeling really good this week and lost 5 pounds at weigh in :D:D

Power of a new hair do eh tehehe
 
Don't think of it as making any difference to how pretty or attractive or sexy you are, or feel. From your photo you are a very pretty young woman and that would be true were you 20 stone or 10 stone. So instead of (mistakenly) thinking of weight loss as a path to a more attractive you, think of it instead as path towards a healthier fitter you.

And very well done on your 5lbs off, that's brilliant!
 
Sarah Jane, you are gorgeous! Of course, you should accept yourself because you are good enough as you are but that doesn't mean you don't want to get healthier.

Good luck with everything!x
 
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