Day 5, Week 10
Had a bit of a wobble yesterday - that damn cheese again. I think I'm going to have to stop keeping it in the fridge as I haven't conquered that demon yet and until I do I think it's best just not to have it in. When I'm cooking something that involves cheese I'll go to the deli and buy a small amount and ensure I use it all then and there. Pathetic really but I'm sabotaging myself by buying it at the moment and it's all about damage limitation I guess.
Yesterday was a bit of a weird day as the little boy I childmind was poorly so his mum came to pick him up only a couple of hours in and it kind of threw my day into confusion as I'd had it all planned out. I was in a foul, stressed mood for most of the day and quite tired so I couldn't stop thinking about food. Why does stress make me want to eat? Most people seem to not eat when they get stressed but it makes me physically ache and want to shovel food into my mouth. All things that I need to work on. The afternoon ended with Zakaria catapulting an enormous mug of banana milk across the kitchen and it went EVERYWHERE, I ended up literally crying over spilt milk, which I'm sure is something you're not supposed to do
I'm looking forward to getting the new shepherds pie and minestrone soup packs on Sunday at my meeting. I love the packs I have but a little bit variety might be nice. I'm thinking to just get two of each and see what I think. I'm also wondering whether to give the bars a miss this week - they don't fill me up like the rest of the packs do (I guess it's the lack of liquid) and I think they trigger something in me too. I didn't get any toffee bars this week as I felt as though I was training myself to think that it's ok to have a chocolate bar every day but the cranberry ones are equally yummy and I just wonder if I'd be better off having a vanilla shake instead. I think I'll just get two for my two working days when I have them as my lunch as they're easy.
I'm feeling a bit at sea about my goal weight at the moment and was wondering how other people set theirs? I need to be 12st 7lbs to be a healthy BMI so decided that 12st was a good goal but it still doesn't take me that far into a healthy BMI. I've still got a lot of blubber on my hips and thighs (I'm sure it's much more than a stones worth) and I don't want to stop LLT until I'm happy that my blubber has gone. Or perhaps I'd be better off addressing that with exercise once I start RTM. I have a cross trainer at home that I can use for toning my legs and I want to start training for a 5k run as soon as I have the energy again - not forgetting the 30 day shred DVD which the lovely Hannah is doing at the moment. I've got it on my laptop just waiting for my energy to come back! Perhaps I'll talk to my LLC about my goal when I go to group this week. I've still got time and I don't need to decide yet I guess - is there a BMI cut off whereby you have to start RTM does anyone know?
Anyway, time to start my day now. I'm not a huge fan of the Royals but am anticipating a morning of watching the wedding stuff - toddler allowing.
Have a fabulous day everyone x
