Day 19
Well today I'm quite chuffed as I got my first "have you lost weight?" from someone who doesn't know I'm on this diet!!
This afternoon I have been so hungry!
I got to the point where I convinced myself I was so hungry that it wasn't worth it and I was going to make pasta.. but didn't in the end. Today has definately been the hardest day for me in terms of feeling like im going to give up.
I know its going to be worth it in the end but I'm starting to have doubts about it.. like, will I be happier with myself when I have lost the weight? Will I change as a person? and also, might sound so trivial but I won't even know how to dress as a slimmer person! I'm so used to just wearing what fits, even from when I was a young child I would not wear t-shirts, always 3quarter length tops to cover my arms (but looking back, I wasn't even remotely big!)
From about 9 years old, my weight has matched my age until I was about 16 and I stayed around 16st for years until I started this diet. I'm so used to being the the "fat friend" in my friendship group.. will they treat me differently now that they don't have their "fat friend" to make them look good? eek, i know it sounds stupid but that's all my thoughts of the day!
I started the diet because I started to cancel on nights out and I went about 5/6 months avoiding people because I was so embarassed about my weight. (I had told everyone when I went on ww and was so embarassed when I never succeeded with it that I didn't want to see people so they could say to themselves "yeah, another diet..knew she wouldn't do it!) I think that's a big reason why I haven't told anyone about this diet yet..
Anyway, just getting my thoughts down.. weigh in on tuesday, looking forward to it..
Going to watch the rest of dancing on ice then go to bed..
xxxx